DeLarla

My day started with the old, "I'll quit using Creme Brulee' Coffemate once the container is gone." It segued into an e-mail from the boss annoucing, "frosted Cookies and a rack of cheesecake in the fridge." I tossed it back with a real CocaCola. By lunch I was disgusted so I picked at some pineapple. Funny how I couldn't finish the tiny can. Then the Otis Spunkmeyer lady showed up with hot-out-of-the-oven cookies. I'm very unhappy right now. And I feel gross.

Are You Calling Me Strange?

As far as people being told to evacuate, it's too hard to put myself in their shoes. I have countless friends and family across the country (even some outside the country) that would take my family in and get us back on our feet. Chris and I both have the mental and physical abilities to find work elsewhere, even if that means clearing land, flipping burgers or stuffing envelopes for a meal. But, what if all I had was a small house in New Orleans where all my cousins, sisters, brothers and friends lived? What if I had lived there my entire life but could never afford to take a vacation so I never knew other places existed? Then the rich folks come on my TV and tell me to run and leave everything behind. So I scratches my head and thinks, "hell no, if I leave my house the hoodlums will come take all my things. I have to stay right here and protect it." A warning of that magnitude might not have registered. So I can easily see why people didn't leave. I might have stayed, too. It's hard to say.

I'm finally getting intelligent answers! Right on, Babs. I started this post as a place to vent because I am guilty of living in a media cocoon. I just finish posting in another thread that the media had me fooled. I asked for intelligent answers, and now I'm getting them. Babs, you answered everything. Everything you said about the media should have been posted at the top of this venting thread. All I've known all week is what's being portrayed on TV. The reporters, interviewers, victims - everyone only talked about Bush being absent and not caring. They made it seem like Bush was on vacation and even Condoliza Rice stayed on vaction during this. The media made me believe the government was allowing people to suffer while turning away Water, help and food from private organizations and even other countries. On the 3rd of 4th day I saw a couple helicopter rescues, but I didn't see any food, water or shelter for an entire week. And that's exactly why I started this thread - to vent and get answers. Everything is starting to make sense now. I never expected everybody to be rescued the first day, but from my end nobody was being helped anywhere. Nope, just rage, riots, rape and looting. And the rapper on that MTV show just fed us with more. Nobody ever came and rebutted what he said, which is that Bush doesn't care about black people. So I sat and flipped through channels and obsessed with the news waiting for Bush/Feds/State/Charity organizations to respond. They probably did respond, but if all the news channels clarified our answers, then we'd stop obsessing about watching TV, and that could hurt their ratings. Here's my sign.

Estella, I'm babysitting a new kitten today, and he's sitting on my shoulder pressed against my ear purring. He's so full of life and energy so we're sending healing vibes to your Mommy right now.

I keep watching the news waiting for an ounce of intelligence. All I want is one honest reason why helicopters and boats weren't on the scene the second the rain and wind stopped. I'm not asking about 100 helicopters. I'm asking about a couple. How about one? What about one barge, one military ship, a row boat or even a raft? A single plastic jug of Water dropped from the sky? One of anything - anyone?

Yep, some unhumans tossed him out of a moving car. You can see how tiny he is because that's my fingerless motorcycle glove he's playing with. He fits in my palm. The pic is him sitting in a chair at a desk "helping."

Ack! You just had to offer a prize, didn't you? I'll think about it. I need a challenge, I'm just afraid that I'm not ready to take one on. Yet!

I'm just sitting here in awe of this little guy. He shredded my desk, hung from my earrings, tore the place up, then fell asleep on my shoulder. I can't move. I can't work. All I can do is sit here and finally type!

We came home once and found our own cat had captured two lizzards and dragged them in the house. He was terrorizing one, then running to the other. We saved them both and really pissed off our cat. Another time our kitty brought a damn field mouse in the house and boy was he angry when I saved the mouse. I'm not sure why some of us have compassion for animals while others hate them. It makes no sense. I sleep with a 50 pound Pitbull on my head (well, she sleeps, I lay awake wondering why I can't ask her to move.) Animals make me whole. They are my heart.

BRAVO! (Jealous here) but still, BRAVO!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I accidentally ended up at Baskin Robins buying a pint of half one flavor and half another. The guy screwed up and made two individual pints instead. Hmm, should I tell him I only ordered one pint, or should I leave it in fate's hands? I went with fate and purchased both pints with no question. Is it me, or is "fate" only one letter away from FAT?

Thank goodness for my new Ben Wa Balls. I've been using them to strengthen my vaginal muscles and to prevent myself from wetting my panties every time I laugh or sneeze. Proof they work because my panties are dry even after THIS thread!

Wow, thanks for ALL the PMs and e-mails. You guys rock my world

My views and opinions are still fluctuating. I sit in front of the news every opportunity I can get, and we seem to be at the "question and answer" investigatory phase. So far Bush's people are respoding with, "uh, I don't know." Nobody has stated an intelligent reason why even a tiny bit of relief wasn't rushed in. Five day? Five? I'm not there so all I know is what I hear on the news, and still no answers from Bush. Mouse, I personally appreciate all you've said because I learn from reading both sides. I'm a Libra still weighing and balancing everything I hear and read. No arguments here, just trying to piece it together. At this point, I'm not sure how I feel. The only thing I'm sure about is that five days is totally unacceptable, and since Bush is the top banana, he's got to take responsiblity. Even if Bush warned people to get out, the punishment simply doesn't fit the crime. We are warned against dangers every day but we make mistakes. People take their boats out in bad weather and get trapped in storms, but the US Coast Guard rushes out to save them. People get stuck on Mount Everest because they're stupid enough to climb the thing and fall off cliffs, yet our government sends rescue units. We make stupid mistakes but we, as Americans, have always been able to rely on our goverment - united we stand, divided we fall. Not any more. I certainly hope I never hear that statement again. I'm looking at my paystub right now and see an enormous chunk was withheld by the federal goverment. They didn't wait five days to take my money, so why did they take five days to spend it? Again, no anger here at LBT, it's just good venting.

Donating clothes to victums is great. I have 8 garbage bags of clothes left for the exchange, but I'm afraid they are probably all large sizes. Everyone is welcome to Buca and to Saturday's party! I haven't ordered food yet because I'm still waiting for an accurate count for Friday's dinner. I can't wait!

Happy Birthday, Penni! Pics of babies, please.

This isn't just about adult toys. When I tell people what I do, they automatically label me as the Dildo Queen. My friends and family were ashamed till they came to my Open House. But after seeing my first demonstration, six of my friends booked parties and can’t wait for me to do a show at their houses. My parties are professional and tasteful with an entire line of relaxation therapy, bubble bath, massage creams, books. I don't grope myself or use slang or vulgar language. The Order Room is a private place where even the most timid and shy feel comfortable asking the most embarrassing questions while feeling completely at ease. A local doctor gives monthly seminars at a huge hospital in Vegas about women's sexuality. How come nobody calls her the Vibrator Queen since she offers "devices" at the end of her seminar? They spend a few hundred dollars to listen to the good Doc tell them how to achieve orgasm, while I bring the education and product directly into your home for a discrete demonstration that always turns into a wild & fun night out with the gals. How often do we get a night away from the men and kids to let our hair down and bond with just chicks? I sell to lots of guys, I just can’t do a demonstration for them. My parties and home store are fun and exciting, but it's actually a very serious business. I'm registered at UNLV to learn as much about human sexuality as possible and hope to earn my next degree there and spend my retirement years as a sex therapist. I've been buying books, going to seminars and actually listening to every ounce of information and advice you good people offer. Please send me all links, books you no longer need, and advise about this topic. I'll sop it up like a giant sea sponge! When I found out that more women fake orgasms during intercourse than actually have them and that MANY women have never experienced a clitoral orgasm, and that marriages are breaking up because men can't hold an erection or satisfy their wives, and partners are going years before sharing intimacy, THAT is when my future planned itself. I didn't go after this - I prayed and struggled for the answers for five years, then the moons met the tides, the sky opened, lightening crashed, and the answers hit me like a ton of bricks. Watch out Dr. Ruth. La La La Lisa is hot right now. I let my hostesses design their own parties, so I offer them either Lisa or DeLarla depending on how spicy they want the party. DeLovely DeLarla is on reserve for the wicked and wild, and I can't wait for someone to request her! My devices and "lotions n' potions" as hubby calls them are making people happy and have empowered nearly 6000 women nationwide, who no longer have to rely on food stamps, welfare or men to support them. Women that went from nothing to driving luxury vehicles, going on tropical vacations, and wearing rubies and diamonds as part of the incentive program. Nearly every woman I know has wanted to check out an adult sex store but are either too intimidated, scared, embarrassed or shy. My husband is reading this and just said “Even men hate going in there, and I’m an ornery old pipefitter who hates going in there because men try to proposition me, and the stores are disgusting.” Parties book themselves, so I'm not selling, I'm demonstrating and currently turning down business because of the high demand. Don't get road rage, pull over and have an orgasm. Don't scream at your partner, instead release tension and strengthen your union. This entire endeavor has softened me and made me a better woman. It's given me a new lease on life, a better attitude, a vision, a plan, MONEY in my pocket and dreams that I can actually see coming true. Right now there's a contest going on for the recruiter who signs on the 6000th distributor. Both the distributor and the recruiter get a $1000 shopping spree. How can anyone think this is bad or dirty? Oh, and I got my stage. I finally have my very own stage!

By the way, my warehouse is in Baton Rouge, which survived the hurricane. But the owner of the company has about 25 displaced people living with her now (as do many, many others in the company and all over the South.) She's been extremely generous and has inspired me and countless others to contribute toward's Katrina's victims. SO... I guess I'm doing a great service by selling this stuff since Baton Rouge needs all the strength it can get right now. So buying this stuff isn't only good for you, it's good for Lousiana! So you can feel good while you're feeling really, really good!

I started this thread as a place to vent, which is what we're doing. My attitudes and opinions have changed many times over since the day the storm calmed. No matter who's to blame, the fact is those people were responsible for their own safety but they didn't evacuate. I agree with Vines, some were too poor, some too sick, some in denial, many plain ignorant. But in this country, the punishment is designed to fit the crime. If their crime was being too ignorant or poor to escape, should their sentence be death, starvation, living among putrid decaying bodies and five solid days of life in hell? Are they to blame? Who knows. Did they deserve to wait five days before getting their first glimmer of hope? Five days? FIVE days? I can't accept the way the government - at any level - handled this disaster. Call it racial, call it stupidity, it doesn't matter. The United States of America had ways and means of air-dropping pallets of food and Water - at least to small pockets. Maybe they couldn't help everyone the first day, but they could have started somewhere. Was Bush so slow to act because he needed a plan to address the entire problem before taking action? Let's see, the world is on fire. Let's let it continue to burn till we can figure out how to put the entire thing out at once. When the city of New Orleans hit riot proportions, help should have rushed there first. Other areas may have been hit worse, but they weren't rioting and raping. It's called prioritizing. Failure. I still haven't a word of intelligence as to why it too FIVE days to start relief efforts. Why were barges and countries turned away when they got there before the US? Because of Red Tape? Who has time for red tape right now? We can't blame anyone for what happened, but I personally didn't hear a SQEAK from Bush till Day 5. Not a peep. He could have at least sent a message that help is on the way. I wanted to delete this thread and start a new one about the generosity of the world and the small people that are bringing LA back to life. But there are some really powerful words here so I'll let it ride.

Girl, good luck to you. It must be hard trying to help a handful when there are hundreds looking at you with hungry eyes. I've been obsessed with the news, and hundreds of millions of dollars have been pledged, so let's hope big chunks of relief start flowing in to all areas soon. Sorry for not sending things to you but I'm doing what I can from here. Peace.

Damn, I screwed up my new cute hairstyle really bad so don't even try to make me feel better. Even Chris said it looks like hell. I got addicted to short blonde hair, so I went back for more. Now it's too short and too blonde, but it will grow back soon. Live n' learn! And I have to get my new driver's license pic this week. Gag.

Wow, the response to Katrina relief is awesome but a little overwhelming. I shipped 3 boxes at $79.00 after buying supplies at Wal-Mart. But Michelle had the best idea of using the money she collected for Wal-Mart gift cards. I could have saved $50 in shipping and sent $50 in gift cards for 37 cents! Duh. I'm looking forward to this weekend! Christina K. from Vegas just confirmed. I'm not sure what happened to the Vegas girls though. There hasn't been one single post at the Vegas board for over a month - almost as if something's wrong with the board. My fault for never getting numbers from everyone.

Oh NO! I joined another message board that won't let me edit or delete posts! HELP! You guys all know that I'm obsessed with editing and deleting my posts. I don't know why, I can't help mysef! It's like putting a picture in a frame but then realizing it's a really crappy picture, so I delete. But my new Slumber Parties message board won't let me delete stuff I wrote the other day. I don't even need to delete them, but knowing I can't has me pulling my hair out because I want to delete them! Donali, hold me! I'll probably delete this post, too. Can someone at least give this disorder a fancy name?

I'd like to see Bush barefoot wading through hip-deep water, grasping onto a dead body for a floatie. At least I can say I didn't give him my vote.