DeLarla

Am I the only dummy that doesn't get it, or are you girls actually weirder than me?

Oh, just a few small things like I bought a Harley Davidson then bought my own business, nothing major! Whoopeee, what tricks can I pull out of a hat next?

Michelle, you hold him down, I'll give him his birthday spanking. Baby, 40 is where life begins! Congrads, and have a fantasic birthday! Now I have to call my aunt and wish her a happy one or I'll be in the dog house.

I'm sure it's all been answered, but here's my input. In US you need to be 100 pounds overweight or have a high BMI (I believe the FDS makes that rule.) Since you said you had no-comorbities, that won't play a factor. 2) The band will restrict the amount you can eat, so the average person loses 1/2 of the weight they need to lose. The rest has to come off with diet and exercise (in many cases, like mine.) I'm still obese and need to lose 60 pounds, but I lost 60. Losing 60 gave me life. 3) If you count calories for a day, you'll see that it takes very little food to maintain a normal weight. Normies have better metabolisms and burn stuff away, so they can afford some goodies. With me, my body is so used to being overweight that even a few treats throw me off. It sucks, trust me, I'm living it. In order to lose any more weight, it takes very small healthy meals and very few nibbles of goodies. I haven't been able to do that lately. 4) They say the band is meant to be permanent. Is that true? I'm not sure. I heard on person say their doc is letting them have the band for 4 years, and by then your eating habits are set, and then they take it out, but nobody confirmed it. That was a French band. 5) If so, then after you reach your goal weight, do you still have to go the band doctor regularly for the rest of your life, inflating and deflating it? Or you can forget about the band once you get your desired weight and not see the doctor again. You always need to see a doc ater banded on a regular basis. Even if you feel great, you need to get an annual endoscopy and an occasional Upper GI. There can be no symptoms for erosion. Many people get to the right spot of feeling good restriction, but everyone keeps seeing their band doc for one reason or another. 6) Once you get used to the band, do you feel a weird object inside forever (the band), or you get used to it? I mean can you go for a week without thinking about the band? Hmmm, sometimes I forget it, other times it's always there. You never feel the way you used to. Gurgling noises, different sensations. 7) How many fills do you need to lose weight? is there a maximum number you can not exceed? And if yes, then what do you do after you reach your maximum fills? Everybody is different. Some lost huge amounts before getting a fill. Two people of the same weight can get the same band and the same fill. One will be too tight, the other could add more saline. Don't let anyone tell you differently. All surgeons approach fills differently. Some docs give you a little at a time to sneak up on eventual restriction, others give you a large fill right away. 8) All of my life, I’ve been so hateful to my extra weight, and one of my dreams is to lose weight? So do you think the band is my best bet, or there are any other alternatives you suggest? I suggest diet and exercise first. If you can do it alone, there's no need for surgical intervention. Try OA meetings, try all other means first. Any surgery should be a last resort. Thanks a lot guys for your time and help, and sorry for the extra long email, it is just that I want to lose weight very bad, still I’m very afraid from such a big decision. Thanks a lot for your help and nice to meet you in advance,

OMG, look at my big ol' belly hanging over like a TRUE biker babe!

Jessie, if someone else hasn't done it, I'll see if I can from my home puter. You're a cutie, too! I love all the new avatars... just wish they could be a lil bigger.

What Michelle said is exactly why I'm thrilled to be in this business. I've had 2 women call me in happy tears the day after a party because of their newfound intimacy. Another girl (co-worker) made her husband so happy that he agreed to paint their house so she can hostess a party. My marriage is perfect now, huge improvement, because I'm no longer stressed out about our future. I have my own "baby" now to play with, and it's very satifying (not to mention the goodies.) As far as my website, it wasn't mandatory. I had to pay for it - and I did so because some people are even too shy to talk to me. It's my site, but the webmaster controls the orders, which means even I can't see what people order. Michelle, thanks for all your support. Now it's 3 p.m. carbo-crash time and all I can think about are cookies. Thanks, Kel.

Paula, it's responses like that that help me decide in my belief system and make me think. Very good answer, you win a Pleasure Wipe (mango scented with Vitamin E, nothing sexy.) I don't disbelieve in God, and I don't want people to change their avatars. I was just making a point. Sure, a little strong, but that's me! A guy, Ben, used to work here and preach his Mormon values in my face. We were both happily married but had a very intimate bond since we share the same birthday. I'd shock him, then he'd spank me with his bible (I'm laughing alone, there was nothing sexual about our relationship.) One day I asked him, "Ben, what if you get to the other side to find nothing, and then you realize you wasted your whole life believing in a fairy tale?" His response warms my heart till this day. He said, "then I'll have lived the best life possible and I will die happy for being what I was." I actually admire people who are spiritually strong, and I have NEVER been offended by anyone's God-Talk except one girl who doesn't belong to LBT. My ex-sister-in-law shoves her brand of God down everyone's throat beyond imagination till everyone in the room is fighting. Paula and Kelly, you gals have to keep your faith strong and healthy, and speak of it often, even here. My whole point was that we can all talk about what makes us happy without hypocrisy. Damn, I ran out of profound thought but I really want to keep this topic going. Can anyone think of something shocking to say? xoxo I adore you people. P.S. I suck at selling. I should have used the Decadent Indulgence for my example since it's the most expensive toy. Plug plug plug. Also, go see Kelly's goodies cuz I bought her stuff off LBT, shhhhh. Plug plug plug for Kel. Ducking.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't the whole bible story start with a couple naked hippies running around a garden? I start these hot topics because I'm attracted to intelligence. I know the smart ones will have good stuff to say. Keep 'em coming!

"I personally have a strong faith in a higher power. NO that doesn't mean a larger battery. LOL!!!" That one has me crying n' snorting, followed by Paula, so I'll be laughing all day. Penni, maybe it's not pretty, but OMG! See, I do believe in God! Sometimes he really pisses me off but he's a fair, understanding dude that understands my anger. He's also damn funny. I was baptized Catholic, but there are too many obvious flaws and hypocrisies in Catholicism, so I pray to a knock-off version, DeLarlaism. The bible and all it states is too contradictory for a wise old gal like me. I'm supposed to believe God created everything including my mind and mouth, but I'm not allowed my own analysis and conclusions or use of my brain and voice that he so generously gifted me with? Sorry, I don't buy it. Not my God. He spoke and said, "De, I made you smarter and quirkier than some folks and I'd be damned disappointed if you didn't use the gifts I gave you to show people a better path." Now that I've turned this into a God debate, can someone explain why he doesn't want us using vibrators? Or does the bible say we can use them but we can't talk about them? The bible doesn't say we can use microwaves or walk on the moon, so why are those topics safe? Your turn.

Wow, this is cool! I won, I finally won!

Sorry for teasing you, Doll. This one's for you: When I look at my Rabbit Pearl, I see a pink toy with beads, some controls, and a cute bunny tickler. When my sister looks at it she sees a pink toy with beads, some controls, and a cute bunny tickler. If I posted a picture here you'd all see the same exact pink toy with the same beads and the same cute bunny. According to my training, both Glamour and Cosmo rated my Rabbit as the Number One female adult toy, which means that not only do we all see the same object, but we all feel the same object in the same amazing way. Meanwhile, no two people alike see God in the same form. My toys are real and tangible as are my orgasms, which is why I believe in them with passion. God, however, is a complete myth. God is not real, we don't see him or hear him, we just "believe" he or she is there. I refuse to spend my current life worried about an afterlife that may or may not exist. We are only guaranteed one life. There's no guarantee that God will be waiting on the other side for you, but I have a written warranty that you'll have a Rabbit for life. I'm a realist. I believe in what I can see, hear, smell, analyze and conclude. I believe that beliefs can be real, but beliefs can also be very unreal. I believed really hard that my Band would have me wearing size 14 today. I believed in the Tooth Fairy, too. Then reality set in. I don't personally know George Bush, but I have to respect the guy for running the country when I was too lazy to run for presidency. I can't stand that people hate him. I'm mad at him, but I can't hate him. Not sure how that tied in, but had to say it. And if this ended up on tonight's news I'd die a happy woman.

Nope, I'm in Vegas.

Uh, Dylan'smom (Kelly) sells Snickerdoodle Cookie mix that she hasn't baked for us. Does anyone else see a problem with this? I know what she's bringing if she can make it to next year's Vegas Blast. Gee, maybe I'll try this delicious Water - blah.

Kelly, you're the hippest religous broad I know! I bet I'd even like your church. Yep, I do go from time to time.

High five, from my bedroom to your bible!

Tick tock... I made some avatars last night but I don't see you ladies yet. Where are you?

The other board is Venting Bandsters, which was started because they (we) can speak our piece without censorship or offending other readers, so consider yourself warned against anything offensive you might see there. Here's a link to another response. http://webmailb.juno.com/webmail/8?folder=Inbox&msgNum=00000S00&block=1&count=1126801071 For everyone else, I know how people love controversy, so if I see one single person jump to Venting Bandsters that has problems with certain subjects they see here, just know I'm watching you. If you don't like it, don't read it!

Matt, my personal doc cried when I asked for a Gastric Bypass referral. That's when I started finding out about the band. She had never heard of it, so I've gotten her up to date. She's thrilled now because my blood pressure is normal and I'm no longer borderline diabetes. It's all a matter of personal opinion.

The name game: I put a sticker on your back of a famous name (could be a cartoon, an actor, the Pillsbury Dough Boy, any famous name.) We sit in a circle, and each person gets to ask one "yes or no" question. Then you guess who you are: 1. Am I a man? 2. Am I an Actor? 3. Am I dead? I tried it with an attorney at work and gave him the easiest - John Wayne. Took him 17 questions. Vines answered Cleopatra in 3 questions. She's brilliant!

The "lack of DeLarla's port" topic has come up too many times for me to ignore lately. Fact is, the thought of another surgery makes me physically ill. The gamble of another port infection is less than appealing considering I can't even win a 4-of-a-kind on a damn nickel machine with only one nickel in. I've been working my butt off to start a new business while keeping my head above Water at my law firm. Plus, I'll be renewing my real estate license this winter. Working three jobs should take me to a feathered mattress in Bora Bora, not another stainless steel bed on wheels in a surgical suite. So, if any of you nurses will volunteer to come to Vegas and Tequila me up, I can probably buy a port on the Black Market for you to implant on my kitchen table. I just can't stomach the thought of any more medical bills because I'm going to Switzerland. Yep, that's right, I just decided that. We were invited to visit Chloe, so it's final. Hey, maybe I can get a port there for a few Francs or Bits or whatever currency they use.

Awe, I adore Forrest! I just watched him the other day, and we ate at Bubba Gump's when we were in New Orleans a couple weeks ago. And that's all I got to say about that!

I'm concerned many of us are straying too far off live's path. Please take a moment to reflect on what's really important: Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do I have a perfect puzzle for you Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-dee If you are wise, you'll listen to me What do you get when you guzzle down sweets? Eating as much as an elephant eats What are you at getting terribly fat? What do you think will come of that? I don't like the look of it Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da If you're not greedy, you will go far You will live in happiness too Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do I have another puzzle for you Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-da-dee If you are wise, you'll listen to me Gum chewing's fine when it's once in a while It stops you from smoking and brightens your smile But it's repulsive, revolting, and wrong Chewing and chewing all day long The way that a cow does Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da Given good manners, you will go far You will live in happiness too Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do I have another puzzle for you Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-da-dee If you are wise, you'll listen to me Who do you blame when your kid is a brat? Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat Blaming the kids is a lie and a shame You know exactly who's to blame The mother and the father Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da If you're not spoiled, then you will go far You will live in happiness too Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do I have another puzzle for you Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-da-dee If you are wise, you'll listen to me What do you get from a glut of TV? A pain in the neck and an IQ of three Why don't you try simply reading a book? Or can you just not bear to look? You'll get no...you'll get no...you'll get no commercials Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da If you're not greedy, you will go far You will live in happiness too Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do

Okay, I won't mention any names, but this is a very interesting thread. It lead to conversations about porn movies starring "little people." Not quite sure what to do with this info yet, but I'm workin' on it!

Yeah! I'm sitting here clapping my hands and singing marching songs in my head! You are all so cute