DeLarla

There's really no way to plan. You'll have this whole plan, then you see the Strip and the Vegas Gods hypnotize you. Then you just go, go, go. If you've never been here, it really is quite spectacular... and then some! Jenna's list is good. Shoot for just a couple things, because you'll get distracted and will try to do too much.

My eyes are going bad, and every time I see the title to this post I think it says, "Hurricane Pies." I'm sick. Sick, sick, sick.

The problem with you is that you sound NORMAL! Well, as normal as a Banded overweight person can be. Then again, you sound like me, which means you are certifiably crazy! I did the same thing and probably slipped my band, then stayed on liquids 2 days, then forced a loaf of bread down my throat to prove I had restriction. I have an appointment for a straight-jacket fitting. I lied, I don't have the appointment because they jackets don't come in 3X.

I can't allow occasoinal splurges since I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to a certain degree. Just because I ate a few cookies, I then ate a whole carton of Pringles, a quart of ice cream, 2 packs of cheetos, the rest of the box of oreos, half a burger and large fries. Yes, my band hurts. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't have gotten the band - I'd have invested the ten grand in psyche care. No lie. The best shrinks - that's really what I need.

Doo-bah-dee-dooh.

I just needed a good laugh. It took you guys a long time to respond, but here I am at 7:00 p.m. cracking up, laughing my butt off. Da Vinci Code... GOOD ONE! Love, Crackwhore

Deb, keep coming back and fighting the battle. I'm sorry you lost your band. Why were you in the hospital so long? I wish you all the luck in the world.

living in the fast lane don't take time to think of any other place or time or why we think of words that rhyme it's getting to the end of time and no one's quick enough to stop it keeps on going round and round or back and forth or up and down it never stops for anyone unless the dead are having fun below above or back in line to do their thing just one more time and lead another life of crime or peace in bed or not we need release to solve the problems that we face in living in this so strange place we call it earth it is a world of misunderstanding boys and girls that play but fight it's all the same we'll always hear the song again it's sad or happy laugh or cry not who or what or even why then you finally think you've got life down when foolish dreams will come around and break your train of thought and once again you're living life in one fast lane

If I let today be a new day, then it will be covered in hot chocolate sauce. Go figure. Mmm, how about Sundaes for dinner?

And through all that you manage to look fabulous, and thin? That family pic speaks millions. You've got what's important.

I say F-it-All and approach the fashion industry. Tell them morbid obesity is rampant and let us take over the pages of Vogue and Cosmo. Fat is where it's at, yada yada. We can have a recipe section where we cook and eat skinny people as appetizers.

If God didn't want us to have chocolate, then why are there chocolate elves making chocolate cookies in chocolate trees?

Being honest sucks. I lost my "goodie" chip. I also lost my "eating in bed" chip. But I still have my "no soda" chip coming. One chip at a time (as I shove a Pringle in my mouth.)

I for one appreciate your post (maybe moreso than others.) Bands, especially ones installed in TJ, seem to have been working for lots of people around here. But we're all mostly so new, that problems could creep up every day. I wish you wellness, peace of mind, and a happy esophagus.

Wow, you've joined the Gap Club? I would love my thighs to be independent of each other!

What's the girl's name that plays Suki on Gilmore Girls. I hadn't seen the show in a few months, then suddenly she was amazingly thin. Now she's heavy again, but I don't know what timeframe I'm watching (maybe I'm watching refuns?) I wonder how she lost?

My girlfriend is an actress that's done Jack in the Box, Suave, and lots of other commercials. She said the Suave screwed her hair up so bad that she had to get a professional cut and deep-condition after the job was done. She did the taco commercial for Jack in the Box and they had a trash can next to her. She'd take a bite, chew, then spit. She said, "I'd never eat that crap." Trimspa, Baby? If it were that easy, obesity would be extinct.

Sorry, we don't have any nails.

I love those!

Anyone that comes to Vegas gets a DeLarla Do-over! hair & makeup. Then I'll get the scissors and cut off your sleeves, then make some darts in all those big old stupid baggy shirts that you think are hiding your body. Fitted, off the shoulder, sexy, sparkles, earrings. LIP LINER! Sa-mooooooooch! Thanks for the compliment on my pic, but I'm not fishing for compliments, I'm just trying to show you that I've got an attitude better than lots of skinny women. My girlfriend models bikinis but has a huge glove collection because her little pinkies have a crook. She actually thinks that makes her ugly. I stand in front of rooms full of women, and every single one feels awkward for one reason or another. Size 2 women have cellulite and stretch marks. Even if we lost the weight, we'll NEVER have nice bodies. Even with plastic surgery, we're left behind with Frankenstein scars. Heck, turn them into ivy tattoos or something, and take that baggy shirt off!

Betty, your love, patience, forgiveness, warmth, compassion and positive outlook are things I try to learn from. Thank you for all you do here. You must be on top of the world. Can't we have a before & after side-by-side? P.S. Did I mention forgiveness? Much love, Lis

Thanks for checking in - been worried about you.

I want to kiss you right on the lips! You'll always have a home in my heart and my house. xoxox Congrads.

Lisa Bonekovic aka DeLarla, Baby.

Aren't funerals drab and boring? Death is part of life, and no matter how hard it is to face, we all have to face it many times in this short, short time we have here. So why let someone else plan our funeral? Let's document what we want right here, right now. DeLarla's Funeral Party -Eclectic Theme (anything goes in Hippy, 80's dance, 70's bad hair.) -Cremation. Family may want a viewing first, so make sure I get a smile plastered on my face. Lots of pink satin in my coffin. Max's feather in my hand (my deceased Cockatiel.) -Everyone gets a vial on a red, satin string with a pinch of my ashes mixed with fairy dust (put some glitter in a Magic Bullet and make pretend) for a rearview mirror hanger or Christmas ornament. -PINK FLOYD, The Wall - very loud. Everyone gets sheet music and acts very dramatic when Pink goes crazy and smashes in the hotel room. -Everybody must do the River Dance for at least 30 seconds. If you don't know how, fake it. -Go around, one by one, and say one thing I left behind that will always make you laugh. -Donate my kibbles n' bits to science before cremation. Especially get my brain to the latest scientists studying Anxiety Disorder. -Take pictures. I've always loved pictures. -When it's time for Kitty Milo McSorley Bonekovic, Sachi, and Voodoo to go, all ashes must be saved to be combined with mine and Chris's. Nobody's ashes get scattered till we're all together, then scatter in our favorite places: Pacific Ocean, Atlantic Ocean, Sea of Cortez, Big Bear, Brian Head, the Desert, Disneyland, The Strip... everywhere! -Cocktails: Preferably Bloody Mary's but if that freaks you go for DeLarla's Toxic Teas. -Crying is okay, but only happy tears. It's my damn funeral, I get to make the rules. -NO SUITS, NO ORGANS, but scarves and veils are totally cool as long as they are sparkly or beaded. NO CLOWNS. - Instead of limos, everyone pile in VW Vans or the backs of pick-ups or Harleys (or all of the above.) Tin cans and condoms, like a wedding. - Last but not least, please take up a collection and hire a make up girl to show everyone the proper use of lip liner. For men, nose hair clipping techniques. - Candy bowl with Orange & Black M'nMs.