DeLarla

I say forget about Belly Dancing and let's take tuns shooting the cop's gun instead! Now THAT sounds like fun!

My sperm-doner person is an alcoholic. I've hated him for years. I never got one card, one letter, one message my entire life. I didn't know he existed till I was 18. When I met him, I met this man with a wife and two kids that had everything. They were living my life, while I was stuck with a mentally ill, abusive, neglectful monster (Momster.) I got to know him more as I got older. He told me "I already screwed up one set of kids so I had to work extra hard to give the second set everything." Did he have any idea how bad that stung - and still does? So I've hated him, and I've thought that he could die and I wouldn't even feel a thing. Last week I found out he's probably going to die soon. He's got liver disease. He called me on my birthday and didn't even tell me - he just acted like all was fine. But my sister heard through the family grapevine. As much as I've hated this guy my whole life, it's killing me to know he'll really die one day, let alone soon. It's so weird. I don't even know the guy (have only been around him 4 times in my life.) But when I met him, we even freaked out my husband. I'm him in girl form. The way we move, our stuborn bullheaded nature - even the way we shake our salt. I know damn well I could turn into an alcoholic in my older years if I'm not careful. I'm addicted to sugar, and alcohol is a form of sugar. I'm not sure where you wanted this to go, but it makes me really sad. Alcoholism can steal your life - even if you've never touched a drop.

: puts it on head...looks skyward : This is some good chit, Man. We are better than TV.

I wish I had a livervideocam at my liverdesk so you could all see me crying right now - the kind of laugh that comes out so hard that it sqeezes out of your livernose so hard that it hurts and makes a wheezing sound. The only reason I don't have the videocam is because "they" shoot their lazors into my eyeballs. I don't really have a Band. I've never been to Mexico, either. The truth is I woke up with scars. I have no memory. One day it was May, then I woke up in October with tube sticking out of my belly. I had to pretend it was a Band or I'd get no medical attention. Dr. Lopez is in on it. The new surgical centers? Yep - Illuminate. cheese GRATERS STOP IT.... snorted yogurt out my nose, and liver.

OMG, Vines, you are scaring me! That's a bit too much Liana! Tell me there are still some clear windows, please? Also, when you paint my house, will you do that to one of my windows?

Go open the passenger's side door and see if your wallet slipped down into that little pocket on the door. This same exact thing happened to me, and it drove me nuts. Go LQQK, now! If it's really not there, bounce a check and come to Vegas where it's dry and you can gamble and win a jackpot. You can help me with my Oompa Loompa costume. Please pass the pipe.

I think there's a lot of common sense and truth about it.

I'm starving for attention. I figured everyone would click on a "Farty Pants" thread. I got you, didn't I? This is a free-for-all Fun Thread! By the way, my whole office smells like liver. HOW IS EVERYONE TODAY?

SHUT UP. We have three trials in November. In legal-talk that's plain insanity, yet here I am communicating with the enemy in this stupid hanger that's poking me. It tore my damn LoveFifi lace thong-panty, yet still no signal. Bastards. And I just shot lukewarm liver water through my nose to keep from laughing out loud since my poor attorney already tore all his hair out in anticipation of said three trials.

It's called Low-Sodium Beef Broth. At first it's not so bad, but then you keep trying to figure out, "what is that weird taste." Then when you get to the bottom of the mug, you realize that it's liver taste. Then you have to gag down the rest. The cup smells like liver. When I was on liquids, hubby bought me lots of soup. He doesn't understand that if ALL we can have is liquids, he doesn't have to buy low-sodium. It's probably okay for cooking, but regular chicken broth is all I can stomach after this lukewarm liver juice. Megan, may I suggest drinking it cold from the can if you've been extra bad?

Girl, you know I love you. But I have 3 sets of company this weekend. My sis and her friend come in tonight (staying with me.) Trish from LBT is at the Paris waiting for my call, and our friends from Lodi, CA that drive a race car are here for NHRA. That means you should freeze a LARGE batch and Fed-ex for Saturday delivery. I'll PM you my Fed-ex account number. Thank you so much, you are so kind and generous. xoxo much love

Do the BUMP BUMP BUMP for the Bean Bean Bean!

Oh, and since YOU mentioned Slumber Parties, I got CONGRADS balloons and prizes from my Slumber Mommy and my Slumber Grandmommy and from the company already! Somebody LOVED my party, so she wanted to do what I do. She signed up and already had two parties and is kicking butt. Then she signed her sister up. I have a Slumber Baby and a Slumber Grandbaby! Slumber ROCKS!!! Slumber kids & grandkids earn me $tuff

Dudette, I'm all over it! See the Las Vegas Bash 2006 thread. Let's see who can find it first... bump it up, Baby!

Damn, why did Rene have to find me? I think I almost talked Matt into letting me have a few. Gagging down another guzzle of liver juice.

Vines, you need to join the Psychotic Ramblings thread. Do like my mother did and paint all your windows Army-Green, then scratch peep holes in the paint so you know when "they" are watching your house. Make sure to tape little flaps over the peep holes so "they" can't see back in. HAHAH... Love you, girly!

Oh, yeah, laugh at the addict.

**shoves another wire hanger down pants** I'm not sure why you shoved the wire hanger down your pants, but I'll comply. Left or right leg?

I'm not sure how carbonation can stretch the pouch, unless you slug an entire can in a beer bong. liquid passes right through, unless you're super restricted. If sips of soda can stretch the pouch, the so can a cup of food chewed well. Tick tock, tick tock, I'm still waiting for some documented proof.

Shhh, let the rest see.

Awe, Shazbot (laughing through tears) careful not to rust transmitters... standing on roof wearing scuba gear to confuse them wondering if fat ugly guy at 8190 realizes his blinds are open but certain it's intentional, floating weightless, coming home. I can see the Cherry Squishy machine at the 24 hour convenience store across the road. Funny, nobody's drinking the cherry flavor, they're all selecting cola. Calling back up. What the F is in the cola? Over.

I swear, I don't know why she even talks to me. I NEVER look at her in the face because I can't stand watching food as she eats and talks. I've covered my eyes, distracted her, grabbed the phone, pretended something's in my eye. I'll do anything to avoid her face when she eats. It's not her fault that I'm obese, but she sure makes it hard on me. And there's nothing I care to do about it, other than avoiding her so it's really nice to come here and vent. What comes around, goes around. Almost time to go home and removed these offensive underwear. They've had a hard day.

Right on, Eileen. I'm all about promoting healthy eating and drinking, I just don't like myths or wive's tales. I have no right preaching about rights and wrongs considering my band is often sore from overindulging. Ever since reading Sue Geezer's thread about bands being removed, I'm a little more freaked out than usual (if you can imagine that.)

PMS Cravings (and Erin didn't help) took away my chips. Yesterday the table by my office (that I have to pass 95 times a day) was loaded with Halloween goodies. I caved. Feeling crappy, my car practically drove itself to Roberto's (authentic, huge Mexican.) Feeling full and disgusted, I ate Cookies with juice before bed. This morning had cookies and chips instead of a Protein shake. PMS to me is like a giant magnet sucking me down into the gutter. They don't serve lean Proteins and veggies in the gutter, either.

I'm so glad I have your support. Too bad we can't let one go on command. Maybe I'll just be nice and buy a little stand and move the toaster oven next to her desk.