DeLarla

Okay, I'm getting dressed & taking the Harleys to the track. I'll post more later. If anyone hears from Trish, tell her to call my cell! Trish, are you checking in here? I'll be at the race track (10 miles North of the Strip.) I'm coming back to have lunch at the Paris with my sister & her friend (they're here for the weekend.) Can somebody please put a colander on their head, shove a coat hanger down their pants and tell Trish to meet us at 1:00?

I'm on a mission to bring Plus Size women forward in the world. I don't care what Doug Rose says, but I'm the new Rose Racing model. I'll sneak it on the inside of the car window (what he doesn't know won't hurt him.)

I love this pic of Chris This was at New York New York eating NY Pizza (I was on liquids that night, hee hee heee, not saying what kind of liquids.)

It's NHRA time again! Here's our friends (Doug Rose is a race car driver) and Marilee and Ted, Rose Race Team mechanic and my crush!

My Slumber Mommy won't smile for the camera because she doesn't like her smile. Will you all please yell at her... LQQK at this girl's hair. How bad do we hate her for these lovely locks?

This is my amazing Slumber Grandmother - 25 years old and kicking my butt financially doing SP full time. She's number 1 in Vegas & Number 5 in the nation out of nearly 7000 disributors. I've been blessed with a new family that I'm so proud of.

When it starts creeping up my butt, I know that's a sign of weight gain. Oh how I long for my young anorexic days when I had the willpower to say "NO" to food. I want that gaunt, gray, pale look again. You know, the one where skin sags and you have no color? I don't like being pink and fat. I want to be gray. I haven't been able to get back on track. Sexy underwear creeping up the butt isn't very sexy, and I don't want to go back to Granny Panties. Sipping my diet tea. Is anyone here marketing crack cocaine? Do you take credit cards?

From now on, when we don't comply with band rules, we must succumb to one day of the following: (Add your torture treatment.) Boil liver in pot of Water with no seasonings. Cool. Remove liver and feed to dog. Do not remove chunks from water. Or that weird goop. Drink liver water at not-quite-lukewarm temperature. Fast on this one day. If you were bad two days, only liver water for two days, and so on.

Why is it GOOD to push past the pain when we're lifting weights but BAD to push past the pain when we're eating? Isn't the stomach a muscle that needs exercise to keep strong and healthy? Shouldn't pouch-packing be good exercise? I'm grasping here... looking for anything to make me feel better for the way I've been eating.

I've been playing similar games with my band way too often. It scares me. Today so far all I've had are liquids. I hope I can make it all day on just liquids, but it IS Friday night, and booze is a liquid. Lord help me.

I'm so sorry, what a horrible thing for someone to go through. Kim, hang in there, he sounds like a tough little cookie.

I thought I posted the Poop Etiquette on the Joke Thread, but the thread is gone! Even Kathy was looking for it. Let me plug in my colander and see what I can find.

Rene, don't even think of squeezing fudge brownies through a colander, either. First, we have a Fudge Nose here that can sniff out chocolate from across the building, but worse, you'll plug the holes and cloud transmission. So no fudgey rat turds.

Toys, yes. MY man, no! Especially from Jenna!

Bok Choy? Crying again. If you girls aren't at next year's Blast, then I'm not going, either. Jenna can run the thing from my place.

I'm pounding the ice tea! Leatha, did the rats poop all over the soda? Thinking of little rat pellets all over them might do the trick! I'll probably end up with nightmares, but at least I'll stay away from them. Hey, where can I buy fake rat poop. I would be a mess without you guys. I'm feeling very warm and fuzzy right now. Thanks for putting up with me. The funny farm don't want me.

I'm really frustrated today (aka PMS.) I keep reading and hearing women cracking insults about themselves, afraid to post pictures, afraid to show their arms, afraid to "feel" beautiful. Get over it. If anyone honestly thinks that I "think" I look sexy, you are dead wrong. I'm a fat, flabby, frizzy, wrinkled, puffy 250 pound blob of human flesh that used to weigh 315, so I've got body parts hanging over stuff I can't find. I have 11.5 boat feet that shoe stores don't carry sizes in. I look like a circus freak in heels considering my girth and height. I come from abusive parents - father is dying of alcoholic related liver problems while mother fights the law from putting her in the funny farm. I sweat too much, my skin rubs, I'm morbidly obese. When I look at my naked body, I see a stupid, loud-mouthed, fat, disgusting body. But ya know what, I don't pay attention to the outside. The outside is what GOD created, the inside is what I created. AND I'M DAMN PROUD. Next time I see even the slightest negative remark come out of anyone's posts, I'm coming there to doll you up leathers and feathers, makeup and sparkles. I'm going to show you how sexy you really are from the inside out! Here's my latest Marilyn pose. I'm damn hot, and I don't care what anyone else says.

"My first clue? cheese grater and pipe cleaner. GENIUS!!!!! I think this means I can take the wire hangers out of my pants now.....whew.....it was getting crowded in there." That's it, Karen. We officially need to be neighbors.

So far today, I've had a cup of black coffee (no cream is part of the punishment) for breakfast. A double-liver-water for snack, and a 1% yogurt cup for lunch.

KERI, you're killing me! Just last week the "Pooping at the Office Etiquette" flyer went around. Let me see if I can find it. The rules say that if someone is pooping or machine-gun-farting on the office toilet then the other person isn't supposed to enter. Then the rule is that you pretend it wasn't you - never admit it! I think I'm scared of the weekend since 4 sets of company are in town this weekend (recently upgraded from 3 sets, suprise!) My sister and her friend are staying with me, and she's completely opposite of me so we have to be really quiet and behave. But I have all my entire SP display out because I'm giving a private showing tonight, so I hope this friend she's bringing knows what I sell or she's in for a surprise! I mean, how many people display a table of live (batteries loaded) adult toys in their living room? That ought to keep this thread going for awhile!

Duh. What was your first clue?

When You Step Outside Your Comfort Zone, Great Things Will Happen When You Step Outside Your Comfort Zone, Great Things Will Happen When You Step Outside Your Comfort Zone, Great Things Will Happen

Sarah, start slow. I was boring till a few years ago. I started by wearing a huge flower in my hair one Christmas party. Everyone loved it. Soon I got bold and wore a scarf. Now my friends tease me if I'm not wearing a scarf or at least one funky thing. I think the world is coming to an end or something, because I just have this urge to be completely WILD and OUTRAGEOUS! I'm not kidding, I think something weird is happening to me. I'm either on the verge of a nervous breakdown or I really do have vibes that the Mother Ship will be here soon to bring me back to my people. Now follow these simple directions: Pick up the phone. Dial your hairdressser, make an appointment. When you get there, tell him/her to make you look fabulous, then close your eyes and let THE PROFESSIONAL do the magic. When we tell them what we want, we always come out looking like we're "wearing a brown football helmet." ** Sally Fields, Steel Magnolias

And just when I'm strongest, Shelli walks in with steaming bags of Otis Spunkmeyer cookies. I'm walking past the soda surplus to get my ice-tea now - spot me!

"Put them on Erin's desk. Tell her you knew she wanted them anyway." I either finally hit meltdown, I'm having a nervous breakdown, or somebody slipped me a Mickey because I can't stop laughing today. I've literally cried about 7 times today from stuff I read at LBT and I can't even see through my tears... people are walking in and I'm pretending it's allergies. It's EFFIN absurd, alright! Now think of "knowing all that free soda is there" while "smelling Manicotti with baked Mozzrella sticks at 8:00 a.m." Then convince me I can stay away from all that free soda. I hope it's PMS or the weather, because I swear I'm on the verge of a breakdown.