DeLarla

Thank you everyone for being so nice and making me feel like I have friends that understand. But I crashed and burned really bad today. I'm supposed to on my pre-op diet but I pigged out really bad today. I called the hospital and told them that I haven't been so good, and the girl was really nice and told me not to worry, that the band will help me. So I have to do only liquids all day tomorrow, then my surgery is Wednesday. Gosh, I couldn't make it through today, so what's going to keep me on a liquid fast tomorrow? Someone pass me that duct tape please. Oh, and I did drive down Ventura Blvd. singing my heart out. And my eating never starts in my stomach, it's all in my head. I'm baffled that insurance, doctors, drug companies, etc., still think that "dieting" is the answer. The only way to quit eating is either fix my head, or tie up my stomach, ergo the band. I wish we could all live in the same house. Like a Ronald FatDonald House where we live for 6 months to support each other during the hard times until we learn how to eat like little people.

Thanks for asking about my trip, Kel. It was a blast! I barely ate except for dinner, when I ate only chicken, fish & veggies. However, I had tee many martoonies. My friends introduced to me to sour apple vodka, so I introduced the vodka to the blender, and we quickly became friends. I had less than 10 drinks all weekend (it was a long weekend) and I'm up 6 pounds. I'm sure my fat liver is really pissed, but I'm not going to regret my weekend because all that fun was long, long over due. My little brother's first live performance was awesome - all us beaming with pride, laughing, rocking on! Awesome. So this morn I decided to enjoy one last splurge & got a Starbucks frappucino. I'm having cucumbers for lunch, asparagas for dinner, then liquid fast till my surgery Wed. I just left a message for the hospital because nobody's called to confirm my surgery time. Oh, and I'd love to send you guys a pic of us from Saturday night. My sister just lost 60 pounds and is damn skinny, but she's so weird. I'm 3 times bigger than her. I accepted it, she didn't. She used software to shed about 50 pounds from my belly before e-mailing me the pics. I wrote her and said it offended me. She's done it before - always editing pics to make us look thin. I am me. All 300 pounds. So I can't share the pic or you'll tell me I'm not that fat!

I'm so glad you're back, Joyce. These next two days of waiting will probably be the hardest part for met. Keep me informed of your progress.

Flapping in the wind... cracking up again! This is the last post I read before jumping in my Jimmy and starting my 5 hr drive to California. Music will be blaring, windows will be wide open, and all my waddles will be flappin' in the wind! I'm wishing myself well with the band. Thanks for the laugh.

My surgery is scheduled for next week. I'm going to start clipping clothespins to this new pannus word that I just learned. I'll tie string around the closepins with heavy weights at the end to drag it to my knees if that means one day I can have the damn thing lopped off! The last time I was thin was when I was six. Then I have a picture of me at seven in a 2 piece. My bellypooch was starting to protrude in that picture. Let's make sure I'm getting this "pannus" word right first. Is that the belly that hangs over my girl parts? If so, then my pannus has a mind of its own and makes its own decisions. I was leaning over the copy machine to select the number of copies and the machine started copying before I hit "go." I thought the machine was flipping out, but that's when I noticed the 'ol pannus flopped itself on the "go" button for me. It also knows how to type. If I reach to get the phone, it flops onto my keyboard and types faster than me! I can't tell you how many times I've seen rows of X or C going across the screen before realizing my pannus is editing my document. Lop the damn thing off! I really love you guys - I'm new around here but can see just from this short time that I'm gonna be around awhile. I hope I'm not offending anyone, I mean no harm.

Great point about finding nothing but lonely souls out there... I never meant to suggest leaving her husband, just going out and having some fun. Worked for me since my huband never wanted to do anything, then about a year I ago I said, "screw it" and started doing things alone. Sure, I wish he'd be there with me going to the movies, meeting friends for coffee, walking on the Strip (hey, we live in Vegas and just walking amonst the tourists is fun.) After awhile, my husband didn't like me running all over town without him, so now on a rare occasion he actually comes with me and does the whole "holding hands thing." I guess my main point is that a lot of women are really dependable and predictable, so their men don't feel they have to contribute much. The know very well that wifey WILL be home, and she WILL clean the house, cook, shop, etc. But it never fails, once the men start taking notice and acknowledging their wive's new found independence, it becomes a concern and they realize "hey, this wife of mine is serious." I've gone through this with a couple women. Sometimes you have to make the guy sit alone at home at night wondering if you'll be back. Also, no matter what men say, they are more attracted to strong, independent women that dependable ones that are always there to serve. Men are hunters - they need a little chase and a lot of challenge.

Kel, I'm the one that you see singing and chair-dancing at stop lights. People will look over as if they've "busted me" and I'm supposeed to get embarrassed, but I just tell them to join me. I'm big on dancing... can't wait till the day I an actually dance without taking up 2 spaces and running out of breath.

I'm flying to Mexico next week for my band, but I may explode before then. I'm trying to eat all my favorites in huge quantities while I have the chance, it's truly disgusting. Today is my last day of eating like this. Tomorrow I have to start my pre-op very low, low calorie diet to decrease the size of my fat liver. It's bad enough having a fat a$$, but it's pretty darn insulting when the docs call your internal organs obese. Can anybody explain how I'll be able to maintain this low, low calorie diet for an entire week? Holy smoke, Batman, where is the Diet Fairy when we need her? I started today at Starbucks, where I usually have a medium decaf something-or-other. Today I made it a large and had them add every type of goop and slop possible, then threw in a goop filled glob. Lunch was even worse, and then one of the ENABLERS (co-workers who love to feed me) decided to bring massive amounts of desserts so they can all support my weight loss efforts that are supposed to begin tomorrow. EESH!

CandyB. Now Tom Petty's "The Waiting is The Hardest Part' song is running through my head over and over. Waiting is just so very wrong, isn't it? Good luck, my friend. I'm on my countdown to surgery and have a big challenge today. I'm doing my preop low, low calorie diet. I didn't do well the first day, but I did pretty darn good yesterday. Today I'm off on a 6 hour car ride alone to go a-visitin' but I usually eat the entire drive. Plus the drive home. Gonna be a long drive... a lot of waiting to get there going on.

I'm on day 2 of my low cal pre-op diet. I didn't do good yesterday, but today I was better. I'm really pretty hungry now. Thanks for all your input. This time next week I should have my band so I can get on with it! I'm going away for the weekend, which is going to be hard to stick to any lo cal diet. I'm taking a 6 hr drive alone to California (from Vegas) to visit family. Then 6 hrs back home on Sunday. Wish me lo-cal luck!

I still say you ought to go out alone or with the girls, which will open your husband's eyes up real quick. Still get that makeover and buy those strappy shoes and little dress, but nix the panties and just be naughty! Well, that part is kind of a joke, but don't wait around for someone to bring you happiness. Sometimes we just gotta take it. My husband sometimes gives in and comes out with me even when he doesn't want to because he needs to see what I'm up to. Right now you're probably really predictable and dependable, so hubby doesn't "think" he has anything to worry about. Do something to raise his eyebrows. And nobody says you have to go completely wild. Start off slow by going to a movie alone or with some friends. Then build up to a glass of wine or coffee at some hip spot. I've had a few "fat comments" slung at me while out, but I've developed a good comeback. I simply thank the guy for his attraction to me and for his compliment and tell him if he didn't think I was hot, he wouldn't be looking! Boy, that really steams 'em. I'm scheduled for my band next week, but fat or thin, I have the same exact rights as anyone else, including the right to fun and happiness.

Oh no! Girl, you need a good laugh. Just do it.. make plans to go party and stick with them. You don't have to fly off to Bora Bora (not yet, anyway) but you gotta fly free like a bird and let loose! I know how you feel because my husband refuses to do anything fun at all. If I want fun, I have to make my own. Tomorrow I'm taking a vacation day and driving to California alone (from Vegas about 5 hrs) because my husband is boring. I'm 41 and have a 24 year old brother in a rock band. I'm going to the club and bringing my fat old girlfriend (I weigh 300 pounds and she's over 200 but much shorter than me.) I make my own fun. I'm a professional businesswomen Monday-Friday as a paralegal... well maybe not too professional considering there's a neon green fish hanging from the ceiling in my office, but that's what makes me happy, and when I'm happy I do good work. Fat, thin, tall, short.. LIVE LOVE LAUGH life to the fullest! Laugh every day, don't hold back.. hell, flash someone your boobs if ya gotta, but please go out and play! I'll get you started on a good laugh... the file clerk just came in my office and commented on a silly coffee mug on the shelf behind me. Well, I've been collecting all the little round dots from my 3-hole punch to use for confetti on New Year's. Anyway, Jessica said something about the mug, so I grabbed it, forgetting it was full, and the whole cup of confetti just flew up in the air and rained all over me and my whole desk. Jessica is still cracking up and making everyone come see my office. Live it up girl, we don't have much time on this planet!

Oh my GOSH! I'm dying laughing. I just wet my pants, which I hear is another complication of obestity due to pressure on the bladder. But the comment about "because the Pilates' chick told me to" nearly killed men. Then the melon scoop thing. Eyes watering... Gosh, if anyone offered to cut off even an ounce of my flesh, I'd had them the knife! Do it! I say "screw goal" and do it now. I've heard it's an amazing incentive to eat even healthier. I've never heard of the pannus (sp?) and thought your penis was hanging too low! Hey, ya gotta laugh or we'll crack up! Good info. Thanks for being so honest.

Everybody just hold on a minute here... If I'm going to Mexico to get banded, that means they're gonna have to give me some stitches and/or staples, right? Well who the heck is gonna remove them? Do I have to fly back to Mexico?

Thanks for the offer, Big Dog, but I have a husband with the same tools... let's not give him any ideas! I just had carpal tunnel surgery and cried when they took the stitches out because I'm only 41 years old. It didn't hurt but when they took the bandages off I looked like Frankenstein and it freaked me out. All green & yellow & swollen. They almost had to sedate me. The thought of my skin being sewn together like freaks me out man!

Well, if I have to remove my own, I'll have my creepy friend Mary do it. She loves that kinda thing! But she's really not creepy : )

Well 20 pounds sounds great to me! But I can totally understand your frustration. But think - even if you only lost 20 pounds every 6 months, that's 40 pounds in a year, 80 pounds in 2 years. That's enormous success. I've been chatting with a girl that took 3 years to lose the weight. But realisitically, that's the best way to keep it off permanently. It took me my whole life to get up to 309, so if it takes a year or two, I'll be pleased. Plus, I hate... no, despise all the attention I get when I lose weight. Really pisses me off how people don't shut up (I've dieted & lost 60 pounds before.) People don't realize how painful it is. When they tell me I look great, it just makes me wonder about how they think of me at this weight. So gradual weight loss is good. I love this forum!

Cracking up here... "blame it on DeLarla" was classic! I used to be such a prude, then I married a pipefitter. Nothing gets held back around here! Peace to you all from Farty Pants!

Joyce, I just sent you an e-mail but realize today was your surgery date! Hurry and get home to tell me every little thing. Unless it's bad, then don't tell me. I'll be in Mexico this time next week. I'll find out then! Peace! Hurry, write back and tell me you are wonderful!

I often want to punch my %#$^& husband in the face. But five minutes later the horrifying thought of not having him makes me go and kiss him on the forehead. Love him while he's here. My husband is young and healthy but he smokes. I'm like Shirley MacClain in the beginning of 'Terms of Endearment' when she climbs into the crib to make sure baby is breathing. I do that with my husband in his sleep - listen to his chest. He smokes, I eat. We're both in our 40's, which makes us prime targets for heart attacks. I think about losing him all the time and it scares the heck out of me, so every night I talk to my Maker and do a little meditation in hopes of preparing myself for times when my loved ones are called away by their Makers. Until then, love them every minute you got 'em, and like the banana says, "dance like there's nobody watching."

Thanks for the response. Here's some happy informtion for you: I attended a seminar on LapBand vs. Gastric Bypass. They explained all the pros and cons in detail. Yes, bypass people lose tons of weight really fast. But they showed charts with long-term process. Bypass people stop losing weight while banded people lose more weight over a year or so. Can I ask how much you need to lose? Did you lose any at all? How can that be possible? I weigh 309 at 5' 10" and need to lose over 100 pounds. Are you saying you have lost nothing at all in 10 weeks? What about your sister, how much has she lost? Wow, now I'm worried. Flying to Mexico, handing them so much money, going through major surgery, the pain, suffering, etc., then not losing some weight? EEK.

Kellymoos... my favorite quote, and the banana does a good job of conveying it! Guess what, I've been on my diet all day long!!! Well, it's only noon, but it's a start. I'm worried about you saying only liquids will go down your belly. Why? Did you recently have a fill? Is that normal? If so, 30 pounds should be gone very soon. Listen to me going on as if I know what the heck I'm talking about! Oh my gosh that I'll have a band next week. I'm gagging & freaking out cause my stomach just told me it's time to belly on up to the drive-through window... but then the ol' brain kicked in with "nut uh uhhhh" and reminded me of the can of water-packed tuna on my desk. I have this look on my face like a teenager who just found out she's not getting a car, ever!

You guys rock! Thanks for researching & getting me all that info. And thanks for sharing your BMI's. Mine is 44. I can't imagine it being any higher since I can barely function now. But I'm going to try a no-fat diet till next Wednesday - can I even believe my surgery is next week? I'm allowing myself a serving of cream in my coffee and a little olive oil on my dinner salad and only fish, fowl, fruits & veggies. After my band, the only thing I really don't want to give up is my one little lonely cup of decaf with cream. Does that sound do-able? Hey, my LabDane just came in to say hi to you guys. When my dogs drag out of bed it's time to leave for work, my furry alarm clarks. Have an awesome day. Big Dog, I'm watching you cuz we are neck & neck with this thing and I'm excited to hear your stories. And Donali, I'm gonna being doing tht Zen thing really hard! Is that an oxymoron, hard Zen? Oh gag, I gotta tell u guys something. This weekend I'm seeing my sister, who is one of those impossible family members that I try to avoid. She's lost 60 pounds since I saw her and is really skinny (diet pills). Then my best friend from high school is coming in 2 weeks. She had Triple-H breasts and finally had them reduced to C cups then lost 35 pounds. They are both gloaters (if that's a word) and I'm at my heaviest of 309. I could just vomit at the thought of my bloat vs. their gloat, and hopefull this surgery will make that part of my life better. Oh, I could really gag at both of them who will ask me to go shopping at the mall AS IF that's a fun thing at 300 pounds. HURL!

Hmm... you may want to ask your doctor just in case. My instructions say: "Very low carlorie diet for one week; the purpose of this preoperative diet is to decrease the size of your liver, which can be markedly enlarged due to excess fat accumulation." I'd hate to take a chance. But if your doc says okay, please have a tamale for me!

The money-hungry Vegas doctors said you might not need a fill for a year! I recently inquired locally (Vegas) about weight reduction surgery. The doctors here require you to first attend their seminar. About 200 people showed up, and we learned the two techniques they offer: LapBand vs. surgical bypass. They gave the pros & cons on both surgeries. They didn't try selling one surgery over the other, but as far as fills, they said some people need them while others can go as long as a year. They never mentioned you might need one 6 weeks post surgery. Meanwhile, my friend had her band placed in October. She's lost 60 pounds and is just now wanting a fill. That's a good five months for her, while I've heard others needing them after only 6 weeks. Also, she told me there's a P.A. that flies to Vegas and does fills here. But he doesn't do the fluoroscopy because he goes right to your hotel room (or my house, I suppose.) He charges $200. I guess it's worth the trip to Mexico. Thanks for the info. May I ask.... how much has everyone lost? And when were your bands placed? Thanks!