DeLarla

I took a nice walk and went to the store. As soon as I catch up with e-mail I'm laying down with my dogs & Water bottle. See you guys later... gosh, wish I could burp. Donali made me laugh again. Ouch. I can't fit under my bed either. Trying to smile ha ha with green gagging look.

And once again you guys bring tears to my eyes. Thanks for making me feel better. I only worked 4 hrs yesterday and stayed home today. I just took a half-hour walk, which was very easy. I could have gone longer. Now I'll watch TV. Later maybe some laundry and a nap. Move rest move rest drink pee drink. I'm a fraction better today. Donali, I'm glad you shared that because I'm an over-doer myself. The only reason I left work is because the boss suggested it due to my cold. Need he ask twice?

Donali, hold me. : ( having bad day. My other band friend says it's normal to move backwards for a few days. I feel really bad today, worse than yesterday. Woke up with new nausious feeling in center of belly. Tight gas pains in ribs & chest, pain in side. Drinking warm tea at advice of my other band member. I'm day 5 post op & at work but shoulda taken a couple more days. But I'm here, so I'm gonna try to focus on work to help the day/pain/grossness pass. No funnies today.

My company flew us to San Diego for our Christmas party, since that's where our home office is. So I was placing all the voices I knew to faces. I asked someone "which one is Sandy." Sandy was my pregnant phone buddy, and I was dying to meet her in person. So I was pointed to the short-haired-blonde in the red sweater. So I walked up to her and said, "so, exactly when is baby due?" That bitch said, "I'm not pregnant!" Ouch. I said, "Sandy, it's me, Lisa." She said, "I'm not Sandy." Sandy was a couple feet away - they both had short blonde hair wearing red. Good rule - never, ever ask about pregnancy till they tell you first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Donali, as my one of my LapBand mentors/gurus/goddesses, one would think you'd know better than to make one of your post-op prodigies laugh. It really hurts the belly to jiggle so. Fear not, for I'm not big on "sharing" my methane with the world. However, in the privacy of my own home, where my husband & dogs have no pride... well neither do I. Let's see, I'm 4 days post-op now and improving daily. But I'm not eating any more Jello till my friends bring me a promised baby spoon. I already have shrimp fork and paring knife ready for when I get solid foods, but I just ate 2 spoonfuls of jello and it almost got stuck in my throat. I can't wait for my baby spoon. And I'll use it at work, too, so let them just bring it on! By the way, not one single soul at work has the slightest idea that I did this, and my office is the heartbeat of the firm. I'm like the mom/friend/aunt where everyone gathers, so it will be interesting keeping it from all my co-worker pals while trying not to lie. Takes a very clever woman, and I think I'm cut out for the task at hand!

Where can I buy Unjury?

I'm hearin' ya, SueG. I was treated better in the Mexican hospital by staff that didn't even speak English compared to the way American docs handle things. I learned about the band a couple months ago, which lead me to a Bypass vs. Band seminar. I wanted surgery but my insur only covers bypass, and I decided to go thru w/ it. I asked my doc for a referral to get my required pre-approval, and she agreed since my BP & cholesterol were sky high along with my history of weight-related anxiety/insomnia, which causes my severe sleep apnea. But she begged me to try one last diet pill before surgery. I was prescribed Bontril - side effects: "Elevated BP, anxiety, and insomnia." So I was prescribed Valium to take at night. Let's recap: my American doctor's answer to my lifetime problem of obesity was "Speed for breakfast and downers for dinner." But those Mexican doctors don't know what they're doing when it comes to LapBands, right? Because they've done so few.... NOT. Other than the pain & misery, which comes with any surgery and my lung infection, I loved my Mexico LapBand experience. Yo gusto mucho!

Donali, I felt like a movie star when I saw my name in the subject line! You gotta know how awesome that felt, so I'll go ahead and give you the best humor I can come up with now... but this is way, way, way too honest and not for the feint of eyes, so don't read any further if you don't want the dead-honest truth. Here goes. I had 2 diarrhea (should I know how to spell that word) accidents yesterday. Okay, that's not too funny, but then the old commercial jingle got stuck in my brain all day and wouldn't stop: "If you think it's butter, but it's not, it's Chiffon....." If you're too young to remember, ask Mom or Gramma to sing it to you. Moral of the story is to be very, very careful letting go of what you may think is a harmless little pook-pook stinker or you may end up with poopy pants! If you think it's a stinker, but it's not - It's ........................ Tell it like it is, Sistahs!

Oh my gosh you guys, my stupid puter is crashing every 2 minutes.... I'm so desperate to read posts and post posts that I just told someone about my surgery that I had no plans on telling. I wanted it to be my (our, meaning all you guys) secret, and now I've let the cat out of the bag to someone I barely know, while I haven't even told my friends or family. I'm getting rid of my dial up connection next week. I just ate dinner, which consisted of one Gax X with an ounce of juice. I haven't had any pain med today because I feel very poisoned from everything in the IV and all the pills and potions I'm on. I was warned to postpone my surgery till after my cold was gone, but I was determined to go through with it. Unfortunately, it wasn't a cold, but the worst upper respiratory infection of my life. So no, the procedure was zero fun, although I'm very impressed with the doctors, staff, and facility. I have so much to say but need to lay down now. Thanks for all your great wishes and hope. Wow. I keep saying "wow."

I just posted my first time this morning.... since then I have made my surgery appointment as well as payingf for my flight to Mexico. My heart is pounding, my nerves are all twinkly. I'm very nervous and excited all at the same time! Please everyone, tell me I'm doing a great thing. I've been fat my entire life. I can not control my eating. Will I be able to beat this rotten eating disorder of mine? Have any of you been fat since 3rd grade? Binging for 30 years like me? HELP!

I forgot the most important thing: a girl getting banded the same day received NO pre-op diet, so she ran into some complications while trying to get her pre-op tests done. All she ate were the peanuts on the plane the day prior, but I heard the nurses mentioning something about it changing the glucose readings. Things worked out for her as planned, but better safe than sorry. However..... whether or not they give you a pre-op diet, do Clear liquids the day before anyway, now let me tell you why: Let's talk frank here - when you eat you gotta poop, and having to go poop post-surgery (in my mind anyway) would be completely miserable. Your belly is full, bloated, sore, freaky; you have an IV on the hand you need to clean yourself with, and any other pressure could have simply done me in. So there, I said it. Also, my cell phone didn't work in Mexico, and sometimes I had trouble getting outside lines. Long story short, I went to a foreign country all alone to have my stomach sliced up and had zero contact with my husband the entire time. My advice is to get the number of the hospital and give it to your friends and family. You can probably call the hospital in advance and get your room number to make it even easier. Now if my puter doesn't crash for the 8th time today you'll get this info!

Dr. Lopez is a living doll, and I cried when Dr. Carmen & Nora hugged me goodbye. The hospital is small and intimate, and the rooms are more like hotel rooms than hospital rooms. Each room has 2 beds. One is a hospital bed and the other a queen size for family to sleep in, and there's a bathroom with a full shower. Travel extremely light. You'll live in your hospital gown. I was the only person that brought one small duffle bag - all the others packed tons of stuff and said they never used it. I brough a book and a magazine, but never felt well enough to enjoy either. I visited all my new band friends and watched TV, plus took as many walks as possible. I even dragged that IV-on-wheels out side, where you can see the ocean from the front of the hospital. I sat on the bench and enjoyed the flowers and the ocean breeze. I brought 4 shirts (the one I wore to travel, 2 huge sleep-t's and a tank top) but brought the tank and 1 t-shirt home unused. I tossed my bra in the trash right before my surgery to lighten my trip home, and as a declaration of sort of burning my first fat-girl bra. I brought an uncecessary bottle of water since the hospital has bottled water right in the hall, but I was glad I brought a small bottle of Gatorade. By the time I was out of surgery, 2 days had passed since I'd eaten, and they only give you water and ice. So I sipped my Gato practically the minute I got back to my room from surgery. I took tiny sips and the small bottle lasted through the next morn. I could talk for days about it, buy my puter won't let me cuz it keeps crashing. I'll give you my phone number if you'd like to give you all the juicy details, for example, I had the pleasure and honor of also meeting Dr. Ortiz, who asked how I was doing twice and answered more questions even tho I wasn't his patient. I only have a couple negative things to say about the whole thing, the major one being that the pre-op instructions should have been more thorough, and all 6 of us had bits of really important info that the rest of us didn't. So go to Mexico and instantly ask which rooms have band patients and ask them all tons of questions. Call me if ya want. Write me at delarla@juno, put lap band in the subject line, and ask for my number!

I'm day 3 post op. I'm almost positive my nutritionist said 44 grams of protein. But I'm not allowed thick liquids till next week. My doc has his patients stay on clear liquid for 1 wk post op. I'm gonna check the protein grams on plain ol' milk & see if I can figure out how to make my drinks at home.

Okay, new rule. Newly banded people should not come here because I'm gonna bust a stitch laughing. And I still see the flippin' pig! I had 2 days of absolute awfulness, but a lot had to do with my impeccably timed upper-respiratory infection that hit full blown the day of my surgery. So they used a tube down my throat for anesthesia instead of the gas, and I woke up crying and barely breathing. The wonderful anesthesiologist held my hand, and the staff made me feel loved and important. I barely slept that night because my throat kept closing and choking me, so they tried knocking me out with sleeping fairy dust and a fat pain killer shot, but I still didn't sleep. Then they finally added something my IV for my chest infection, and I eventually slept for a couple hours here & there. Dr. Lopez did my surgery, but I was his only patient. But Dr. Ortiz had 5 patients, so the 6 of us are like family now. I had the wonderful benefit of both surgeons. Dr. Lopez lights up the room with his huge smile and sweet personality, while Dr. Ortiz is just as brilliant and quite the hottie! Girls all drooling over him. So even though Lopez operated on me, Ortiz checked on me twice just for sport. I have no idea if this band will work for me, but I'll tell you guys this, even though I felt like total hell in my belly and chest, my Tijuana experience was better than any hospital treatment I've ever received in the states. I could talk for days, but I'm hitting the hay... my very own hay! Gonna crawl in bed with the old man and my pooches and hopefully, finally get a wonderful night sleep. Thanks for being here when I got back. I gotta turn off my usual humor for a spell cuz it really hurts to laugh. You guys all know how sore the belly was after your surgery? Imagine having your worst cough & cold, plus sneezing. Ouch. Peace, babies! Oh, P.S. On the way back to the airport a guy was walking down the main highway in Tijuana without his pants on. Buck naked from waste down. TJ rules!

Co-worker Ben just walked in my office to announce his $10.00 purchase of chocolates to share with the office. He told me eat as much as I want. My surgery is tomorrow. I told him to get out! I told him if he comes back I'm buying ENABLER t-shirts for the whole firm, and his will read ENABLER NUMBER 1. Last night my husband, knowing I was supposed to be doing the low-cal preop, made me a sandwich. I refused it, so he cut it in half. I refused it, so he gave me a quarter of it .... gulp. That started my binge. Why don't they get it?

We recently spent a nice day in Bouler City. So peaceful there. I think I understand how to post my face instead of an Avatar now. I may need Kellymoo help getting the picture that small though. I'll let you know. Did I tell u the stupid story of my sister, who just lost 60 pounds on diet pills? She's super skinny now. We took a couple family pics over the weekend of me, bro, & sis. She used her software to shave 60 pounds off me, then she e-mailed the pics to friends & family. Really ticked me off. She's so vain that she can't accept the fact that she's small, Fred's medium, Lance is large, and I'm little sis is triple X. I guess she's ashamed of me... to flippin' bad tho! Fat or thin, I'm still me! These last few hours at work today are going pretty slow, and my belly is growling on this liquid fast. I can do it, I know I can I know I can I know I can!

I live a few miles off of The Strip, so yes, I'm close to Caesar's. But I hate going to the casinos.... NOT! Hubby calls me Gamble-ina or NickleFoFickle! But sorry, babe, I'm busy getting banded this weekend so you'll have to wait a lil more. But I'd be happy to get you some smelly stuff when I'm up & around again. Any ol' time, pally!

I live a few miles off of The Strip, so yes, I'm close to Caesar's. But I hate going to the casinos.... NOT! Hubby calls me Gamble-ina or NickleFoFickle! But sorry, babe, I'm busy getting banded this weekend so you'll have to wait a lil more. But I'd be happy to get you some smelly stuff when I'm up & around again. Any ol' time, pally!

I just saw your before and after pics and couldn't get my mouth closed. My jaw dropped to the floor and my eyes watered up. Wow. I'm blown away. I can't believe all this. Far out. Right on, groovey, bitchen, awesome, sweet. Wow. Just wow. Congrads in a very big way.

I had tons of pre-op diet questions and felt just like you: if I can't stay on a diet 2 weeks, how am I going to do a pre-op diet? So I tried to maintain my low-cal preop diet but failed badly last night & went to bed stuffed. I called the doctor and told them how I ate, but she was really nice and said, "don't worry, honey, the band will help you." I've heard if the liver is too large, the surgery is more difficult for the doctor so they may have to make larger incisions or a more complicated procedure. My surgery is tomorrow at 4pm so I'm on Clear liquids till then, which will be hard enough, let alone several weeks on liquids. But the thing that's so weird is I fasted all the time in my teens. How come I could do it then but not now? To keep life interesting, I drink several glasses of Water in the morning. Then I start diluting Gatorade or juice with 1/2 water. This way I'm tasting something all day long. Meanwhile, I just removed my acrylic nails after 20 years so I can learn to play guitar. I tried learning years ago but gave up, so now I have no choice because I'll need to keep my hands away from my mouth. My obsession is so, so bad, that even when I'm not eating my hands are constantly near my mouth. I either play with my hair, bite nails, pick teeth, scratch nose... anything to get those fingers towards my mouth. Maybe they should just sew my arms down to my sides to keep my hands away from my lips.

Oh you guys are so funny acting like I know what a pixel is! I am anti-puter all the way. I chat, check messages, write some stuff, play a game, then run like hell away from the puter and all that frightening language! Are you trying to tell me that I can post my picture "instead" of an avatar? If so, please help me like you'd help a toddler. Put the red block in the blue box. Bunch of smart people in here, I'm impressed!

Hey, I heard about that guy who ate McDonalds for a month and ended up 30 pounds fatter, higher cholesterol, BP, etc... But wait... Now there's a guy challeging this weight gain. I heard him on my local station 2 weeks ago. He said he can eat McDonald's every day at every meal and remain happy - his theory is the first guy made all bad choices. So guy number two is going to do it being careful about menu selections and getting plenty of exercise... oh, and he's a body builder to begin with. So, if you have a lil yogurt cup for b-fast, plain broiled chicken for lunch, and salad sans dressing at dinner, sure, you can stay healthy while living off McD's. But who the heck can say "no" to all the other goodies other than some health freak? The reality of tomorrow's band is starting to sink in as I try to maintain my liquid fast. I'm so thankful all you people have faith in me while mine lacks (hopefully temporarily.) Thanks George, for making it not so scary!

I'm a five-tenner too... acutally, I'm five feet, nine-and-three-quarters tall. But to figure my BMI I had to use 5'10". I guess that means my BMI is acutally a little higher than 44. Damn weight obsession has me picking at the smallest details! Hey, can someone tell me how to post my picture by my name and Avatar?

Now now, I'm supposed to be tense and nervous today (tomorrow I fly to Mexico) but once again you people have me crying from laughing so hard. I'll have to stay away from here post-surgery or my pretty new band might pop off and snap my liver open from laughter. My avatar looks like a pink pig? OH NOOOOO... I thought it was a girl in a tiny pink bikini. Hold me. Please, somebody, hold me! Actually, I chose the pig as my "before" avatar hoping that one day I'll put an "after" Avatar of the svelt Pink Panther with that long, glorious tail, which I'll use to smacking people around (the endless enablers in my life that use wicked evil tactics to get me to eat with them.) And thank the Good Lord that it's a clear day or I'd be driving to work, staring into the sky, reading the clouds for subliminal messages. Plenty of time on the plane tomorrow for that though. You people truly rock my world. My angels. All of you.

Can I have everyone's fat clothes since I haven't had my surgery yet? Wouldn't it be great if we could just fax over our old clothes? Congradulations, what an amazing day for you.