DeLarla

Hi Denise! Silly me thought that my port was actually popping out of the incision because there was a little hard ball that I could (and still can) roll around right under my incision. I thought it was the port trying to pop out. Yes, I have port incision issues. I have pictures if anyone is interested but I don't know how to attach them. Before my problems weren't even my port, but they were my port-incision. It's a really ugly scar now, and it's hard like they inserted a chunk of marble under my skin. I guess it's hardened scar tissue that will eventually break down. I think it's normal. I wish I could stop obsessing over it! Now I have real port pain. I started going to the gym too soon, and now I feel exactly where my port is trying to attach to muscle, which is a couple inches below the incision and a bit to the left. EESH, I can hardly walk because it hurts so bad, so I'm doing a couple days of Motrin therapy and rest for a few days, which I think should fix me up. How are you doing with the whole surgery? I think my biggest problem is that I never really drank much alcohol before, and now my band seems to enjoy it. New neighbors moved in, and my new friend is a major party girl. Every night she calls me over for cocktails but I usually only partake on Fridays. I used to drink a few times a year. Now that I'm trying to avoid useless calories, the parties in my neighborhood are going strong! So I'm pushing extra Water, and that's why I was doing extra at the gym, to compensate for booze calories. I haven't actually gotten drunk, but a few glasses of wine go down way, way too easy. I'm hoping to get my first fill in 6 weeks, and at that time I'll start limiting myself to one glass.

Got both e-mails, and yes, my girl parts are working again!

Thanks, Alex, but I've been mistaken this whole time. I thought my port was actually popping out of the incision. I've heard several times this week that the port is actually several inches below my incision. The thingy I felt popping out of the incision is hard and calloused, like hardened scar tissue. It's all so odd.

I've had pasta but only a couple times. And I ate rye bread once. And I had a tortilla once, but mostly I just think about chicken. Everything I think about is chicken! I don't get full though because I have no restriction, so I'm having to just stop eating after 20 minutes of slow chewing. I'm going to wait a couple more weeks for my port incision and pain to diminish, then I'll schedule a fill.

Bailey, I absolutely detested the Adkins diet before my surgery. I actually gained weight and became very sick and ended up at the doctor's. I threw away all my Adkins products and donated my expensive books to the library. I truly wish I'd never hear "low carb" again. However, after my surgery, and after I was past the liquid post-op phase, I started eating regular foods. My sister took me to a buffet one night, and I told myself I could put anything on my plate that I wanted as long as I only nibbled and chewed really well. When I got my plate back to the table, my sister commented that all I got was Protein. There was not one carbohydrate on my entire plate. I had chicken, pork, eggs, cheese, salmon, ham. I guess my body wanted protein. My point is that for some odd reason, my band came with it's own Adkin's diet implanted. I crave protein now. Boy, these bodies us humans were issued sure are weird.

Sometimes drinking water gets really old and boring, so I buy a new drinking glass or bottle. Funny, but drinking water out of something new and fun makes it easier. I'll use one glass a few weeks, but then I'll switch to an Aqua Fina bottle. When that loses it's appeal, I'll switch to a pretty glass, then a plastic tumbler. Sounds weird, but it helps get the stuff down.

Hi Kathy, my name is Lisa, and I live in Nevada. hahah. Sorry, but you make me feel like a loser living so far away (kidding.) Kathy, maybe we'll be ready for fills about the same time. I've been getting pretty hungry, then again, I'm always ravenous during the "special" time of the month. Just wanted to say hi since I haven't heard from you. Hope all's well. Lisa

No, no, no, Bright. You are fabulous! Hell, some people have good relations with their parents, others don't. No more feeling bad. No more looking back or hoping for happiness in a smaller size. The time to be happy is now. I saw this Saturday Night Live sketch with Bob Newhart playing a psychiatrist. A whacky patient came in and said her worst fear was getting trapped inside of a box. He told her he could cure her with 2 simple words. She thoughtfully took out her writing pad, and he yelled, "STOP IT." It was hysterical. So STOP IT. It's that easy, see, now you're cured, healthy, and happy. Bingo!

I was a self pay. The whole process from the time I called my doctor in Mexico was 2 little weeks. It's different for everyone. In Mexico they do all the pre-op the same day as the surgery. Lap Band weight loss is completely different than bypass. With a bypass the weight loss is dramatic and fast. With the band, it takes longer, which is healthier in the long run. Plus, the bypass operation totally changes your anatomy. It surgically alters your body (my doctor called it mutilation), whereas the band is just implanted around your stomach and is completely removeable. In Vegas they offer a seminar on band vs. bypass. I learned a lot in the seminar, but the thing I liked best was that band patients have more sucess keeping the weight off and losing more in the long run.

I nearly started a war in a Classmates.com chatroom over the topic of bullies vs. popular kids. One woman was pissed that her star quarterback son was put behind a fat kid in the school picture, so you could see the fat kid but not her popular football player after everything she sacrificed to pay for uniforms, practices, photos, etc. I asked if it ever occurred to her that the fat kid wanted to be a football player but life didn't give him the same opportunities as her son. Her response was "too bad, my kid should have been in front." She didn't know she was chatting with a childhood fatty, and after a few choice posts I was banned from their group. Hahaha. Still laughing at those morons. Every time this topic comes up I think about the little 11 year old fat kid who stood up in the middle of his class and shot himself in the head. That was a real news story about 10 years ago. Unfortunately, his suicide message wasn't loud enough, because teachers still allow teasing and bullying. There's even an episode on Everybody Loves Raymond where the mom thinks it's okay that her daughter was bullying some kid, and she defended it as "all kids do that."

I had my surgery in Mexico. My plane landed at noon. I was done with all the pre-op stuff and in surgery by 3:30 p.m. They took me from the airport directly to the lab where I had blood work. Then to X-ray. Then to the cardiologist for the EKG and other screening tests. Then to the nutritionalist. Then to the hospital. My entire experience started Wednesday and I was flying back home on Saturday. Again, my only disappointment is the lack of information provided to me. However, I was given information from my Mexico doctors that other people weren't given. The greatest advice I can give is to compile all the info from your doctor, from other doctors, and from all the posts on these boards. Actually, that's the second greatest advice.... the greatest advices is to get banded! This coming from a girl experiencing bad port pain today. I'm one month post op and experiencing this pain for the first time. I had 2 weeks of hell after the surgery and I have problems with my port incision. Even with all that I love my band.

I enjoy fantasizing about seeing those who caused me pain feel the same pain. Maybe it's not Godlike, but it's human. Then again, maybe it is Godlike, "eye for an eye" and all. I recently found Classmates.com, where I found a couple of the girls that hurt me 20 years ago. I sent them each e-mails telling them how I felt. The prettiest one chatted with me, and we both ended up laughing and crying together. She said she felt awful about how she treated me and that she did it to be popular. She couldn't aplogize enoughl, and after a good laugh, we parted on a great note. The other two snotty bitches are still snotty bitches raising their kids to be bully snots.

Donali, I'm really worried here because nobody has ever mentioned avoiding medications. I took a Motrin yesterday. Not one single word about avoiding pills from my doc. Where are you getting your info, and where can I get the full book? My biggest complaint about the band is the vast difference in information. I wish doctors would be more consistant. I'm supreised INAMED doesn't require each patient to sign off on receiving a booklet. If I didn't happen upon this post, I'd never know about aspirin. What about Tylenol, Motrin, anti-anxiety meds, thyroid med? Right after surgery I was taking liquid Children's Motrin and Tylenol. Now I can take regular pills. Even took a large Vitamin today, although I'm only taking my big Vitamins till they're gone since I was told to try Flintstone's chewables. Regarding the mortality rate, Dr. Ortiz said it's zero in Mexico for 10 years now while gastric bypass is one in 50.

Laughter is the best medicine cuz port pain is normal! You gotta get through the pain to find the pleasure. But a stiff pain pill ain't a bad idea. Wish I had something a little more fun than Motrin!

I lost 26 then gained 5 so I put the scale away. Last week I was still wearing my usual size 28 slacks, which felt fine. But later at work, I was standing up and felt my inner thighs touching each other. I looked down and noticed the crotch of my pants was hanging 4 inches lower than it used to. I ran to the bathroom and noticed my pants were sliding off me. I don't care what the damn scale says! Over the weekend I emptied all my 28s from my closet. My 26s feel really comfy, and I even zipped up some 24 jeans. Too tight to wear, but hey, I zipped the Mo-Fos all the way up! Screw the scale! Whoo hooo!

Someone just came in my office to ask why I was laughing so hard. I'm acutally crying over this thread. I had my worst port pain every yesterday, and this laughing is killing me. I have to medicate over this post!

I love my hug! Something happened to me that I can't explain... must be guardian angels. Ever see Shawshank Redemption, where Andy Dufrain had to crawl through 3 football field-lengths filled with human waste to finally find freedom? That's what my teens through 20s were like when anxiety attacks took over my life. I was on the verge of ending up in an institution, then one day I suddenly started laughing and cracking up like a lunatic, looking up into the Heavens, telling God, "okay Buddy, bring it on." I put on my boxing gloves and just waited for the next disaster. The more I changed my attitude that "God only dishes out what he knows you can handle," the better I became. Today I never feel sorry for myself because no matter how bad I have it, many others have it worse. I have to thank Heaven that I weighed a paltry 313 while others are over 500. I'm blessed. And I'm not a big religious-God type girl. I just have faith that I'm exactly who I am supposed to be. My angels gave me that. And my friends.

I swear, this is my last one: Get in the habit of sitting backwards on the toilet. By facing the wall, the curvature of the seat forces acupuncture-type pressure on the digestive track that immediately releases chemicals to increase the digestive metabolic rate. It's weird, you don't even have to change your eating habits but your metabolism goes hyper and pounds just seem to go away!

Now I'm on a roll! Peeing my pants from laughing. Make your own diet patch. Brush a gauze pad with garlic paste and sprinkle with cayenne. Apply with medical tape to the backside or inner thigh. Shhh, don't share this secret because it would put the patch industry out of business. It's the same ingredients in the patch only in a holistic form.

Oh my gosh, I'm cracking up here. My "diet secret" is: 2 teaspoons Black pepper increases the metabolism so add to a vanilla Slimfast in the blender with 3 cloves garlic to boost endorphines that release fat trapped in the abdominal wall and buttocks. It's delicious once you get used to it. Massage fatty areas of the body with a mixture of Cambell's Tomato soup and orange rinds. The acidic combo breaks down fat in hard-to-lose areas transdermally (I think I made that word up.) The hypothalaums reacts immediately to a quarter cup of lemon and vinegar (must be white, distilled) which instantly releases (make up long word with several sylabols) that sheds fat.

In 7th grade there was a broken chair in the corner. One day I came in late and sat down, and the chair fell apart. They'd moved the broken one to where I sat. I didn't cry because I was already dead on the inside. I guess all the teasing isn't just about being a fat kid. It also has to do with the kind of home life we had. My mother got pregnant when I was 18 and was finally adjudicated an unfit mother when my baby brother was 7. My mom is so mental that she was only awarded supervised visits. Unfortunately, when I was growing up, nobody butted into anyone's business. Teachers would torment me because I was that skanky little fat girl who never brushed her hair or changed clothes (Mommy Dearest was never there to take care of us.) We were 3 kids that may as well have been homeless according to our appearance. Mother was alseep when we left for school and didn't get home till after we were asleep. When I was 6, I made an awful parent. My older brother & older sister are pretty screwed up in my opinion. I think I'm the only one that wore my pain on the outside at 313 pounds. I feel great these days. F the past! Today all I have is a future!

Thanks everyone! Michelle, you took the words right out of my mouth. The PMS is really weird, because you get all the symptoms, just no period. I put on a couple pounds last week but they're gone now. I hope they stay the hell away! I'm having bad port pain today. I'm one month post-op and never had the pain. It's a couple inches below my incision, and just off to the left, so I called my 8-month band buddy and she said it's normal. Gosh, I sure do like when I get answers that say I'm normal! Love you guys!

I forgot to mention that when you are ordering on-line, make sure you see a little padlock on the bottom of the screen in your taskbar. The padlock represents a secure website. If there's no padlock, don't order from the site.

I order from the internet all the time. Did they charge the VISA yet? I ordered something before Chrismas that came 5 months later. I figured they lost my order because I never saw the charge, but five months later my card was charged and the package arrived. When I called, they told me they were overwhelmed with orders and had to make more of the product.

My port incision looks like an alien is trying to get out of my belly. Should I shave my head?