mzackamfam

Today I was 181.2 pounds.
 
The holiday starts next tuesday when we fly home.I am super excited as my family havent seen me since July and I have lost a lot since then.now I weigh less than both my mommy and my sister and they dont like this much at all.Will not talk much about weight loss and try to put the focus on them (in July I tried to put them on diet...lol)
 
The kind of foods I eat changes about every 2 weeks.It seems I get something I really enjoy,eat it almost every day for 2 weeks and then get tired and move to something different.I should just list the old favourites so I can start cooking something different that I like every day.It seems like I forget what I use to eat and liked very quickly..lolIt looks like someone else might be using your account
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I will take some protein shake for pancakes and some syrup with on holiday.Thank goodness Woolies have some great pre prepared protein that has no added carbs like chicken,meatballs,little kebab scewers ect ect.I will live on it and the abundance of great seafood.
 
I now wear a size 12 top and 14 bottom.It also seems that I will end up smaller than a 12 which I find unbelievable.
 
At the moment I have become quite shy and am way to easily embarrassed when people make a big fuss about my weight loss.And boy,some people have no end and selective amnesia,or they just dont really see me as week after week at church the same people act so surprized about my size and make a scene infront of others.But I shouldnt complain,people are just people.I do avoid some social situations sometimes as a lot of my very overweight friends are so uncomfortable (shame,they act guilty and start talking about their weight and plan when they will diet) that it makes me sad for them.
 
I use to be very outspoken and critical of people that said they'd made new friends and left behind old ones after surgery.The old friends were the ones that loved you and cared about you when you were fat right?But I am starting to understand this now a little better.How long do I expose myself to people that are not spontaneous in my company anymore?How long do I act as if their comments about living long for their kids so they will never do this surgery (they are overweight,joint issues,back ache,high blood pressure ect ect..how wiil they live longer?) dont slightly annoy me?How long do I have to make jokes at my own expense (ah,dont worry I am thin now but when I lift my arm my batwing knocks me unconcious..hehe,not so funny anymore)(ugg,its true,I need boob lift,arm lift,body lift,thigh lift and maybe face and eyelid lift)
 
So,I do think in this wonderful trancient society that I live in,some new friends that dont know that I was ever that big,is on the new years resolution list.Just some people with whom I can relax and be myself.Will still see and love the old ones but they better get over themselves pronto as I am proud of the fact that my sacrificing my stomach and all my hard work after hat has paid off,and one of these days I will have the confidence to say so.In the meantime I am trying to be patient and loving and kind to them.
 
Ok,now for the next 5 pounds,fast..lol
 
 
 
 

Kind of a sucky day for me because I was told by my surgeon that the pre-op diet was to begin 1 week prior to surgery.. Get a call yesterday evening, and of course they made a mistake, and it's 2 weeks prior. Needless to say, I had to officially begin this morning on liquids. I wasn't even mentally prepared for this. I had made plans to go have my "last meals" this weekend, as I love pizza and Olive Garden and knew they would probably never taste the same again. They also restricted tea and coffee, but as I arrived to work this morning, I could smell the Keurig brewing and I just couldn't resist. Yes I had a cup of coffee .. Already off to a bad start. I ended up going to buy a 1.5 liter of water so that I can drink to the point of fullness so as to ward off the hunger pains today.. gonna be a long 13 days ahead of me... Sucks

I'm new to VST, but definitely am ready to share this amazing experience. I decided to have the sleeve in September of 2012. I've gone through 3 months of nutrition, psych evaluation, and an endoscopy. My surgery was approved this past Monday and my surgery date is set for December 20th. Boy I'm nervous. Needed a few forums for some extra motivating support (VST did not let me down!)... I'm from Carson, CA and my surgeon is in Beverly Hills, Dr. Feiz to be exact. It was a smooth, but confusing process. Finally got after 2nd review because AETNA said, even though my BMI is over 40, the photos don't appear to make me look like surgery is needed.. What?? Are you serious right now? Anywho, the small battle is over. The real war starts Dec 20th. Looking forward to my new relationship with VST and I pray this journey is one of peace, fulfillment, and most of all enjoyment!
 
xTia

Since I've stepped up the exercise again I am stalled and I want more food.I dont know if I am hungry but somehow I want to eat more often.
 
Tonight the grils made Indian food.Popadoms and kadhai chicken.i had to eat some.I did not eat the chapati or rice but I had 2 popadoms and about 3oz of the chicken.It is super spicy so I had some fatfree cream fresh with it.The only thing about Indian food is they use a lot of oil.But I dont think I ate too much as I am not too full,just full.
 
See,this freaks me out about where I am at with the eating at the moment.I still eat like a bird but now I also lose weight like a bird,ounces instead of pounds at a time...lol
 
Maybe I should quit worrying about losing more in the next few weeks and focus on eating to not gain as we are going abroad for christmas and maintaining during the holiday is super important to me.
 
Anyway,183.3 is ok but boy would I have loved it to be under 180 before we leave on the 18th.I just dont know what to do to get there in 2 weeks.
 
Ugg,how do I speed up the weight loss?If I had to go by calories in calories out I would lose 1 pound every 3 days but it just isnt the way it works.
 
 
 

This morning I weighed 184.Looking back at this blog I can see the weight is still coming off.Good!
 
I am having a very challenging time keeping my cals low while upping my protein.My hair is falling out like crazy again and I cannot figure out why.
 
I have also increased my healthy fats.We need them and for years now I've been low fat even when I was eating rubbish it was just saturated fats.Now,Im trying to teach my kids a balance and kids dont learn by telling them stuff.They learn by example.adding a tablespoon of olive oil per day has increased my cals with 133 wich puts me closer to 1000 than to 800.Cant really lower the food intake the I go low on protein again.Wont give up my milk in my coffee for no one...lol.Will keep tweaking this.I am different than others that mostly eat e same stuff every day as that sets me up for a snack attack..lol.I like variety and will keep making different things that is yummy!
 
The exercise is going a little better.Still havent started with a trainer but I am running and playing squash and doing reformer once a week now as it hurts my knees a lot.Will phone the trainer for an appointment today.I dont know why I am so resistant about the toning and weights with the trainer.Im scared I cant do what he wants me to.
 
Anyhoo,this is an ongoing process and last week I fitted at least 20 dresses for a big function we had this weekend.I fit in a 14 but I hate my stomach.This has now inspired me to lose faster and to start exercising more.Will post pics of the weekend on the yacht.It was awesome and I didnt feel self concious for the same reasons than before but because I got so many compliments.
 
O,just one more strange thing.This week about 5 different people asked me what Im doing to lose weight.These are all people that knows that I've had the surgery.So,to everyone that dont want to tell people.They dont care anyway and seem to forget or not really understand what it means...lol.Even though I told all of them again,they still want to know what diet Im following and still all say now they feel ashamed of not losing weight....tooo weird as hallo,I cut off 80% of my stomach,you cant compare yourself with that...lol
 
Time to get moving again.

It is interesting to see how little I really eat.Also will be interesting to see what the scale does when I get back home.
 
We are staying in a hotel and we have breakfast included.This is what I ate.Half a soft boiled egg,.25 of a arabic flat bread,about half an once of brie cheese,one teaspoon of hummus,half a slice of deli beef.A cappucino before I ate.
 
Then at 12:00 2 pieces of beef jerky.At 2:30 we ordered lunch.I ordered a beef burger that looked so great I told the kids to get the camera,Im going to eat the whole thing...lol.Well,I ate .25 of the hamburger patty because I first saw some lettuce leaves with a little balsamico and I had to eat that.At 17:30 we decided to have a pina quilada in the sea while gently rocking on our chairs in the water.This made me so nauseous I am still recovering...lol.Also a bit giggly as I still havent learnt to stop after half a drink which would have been just enough.Now there is a international buffet my family wants to go to and I will have to see what I can eat.
 
The thing is I am totally HOOKED on protein pancakes.It is so crazy!I miss them so much when I cant have it.It like a meal,protein and pudding all in one for me and I just love them!
 
Tis stupid scale at the hotel weighed me 3 pounds heavier than my home scale just whe we arrived and of course this makes me paranoid.Hope it isnt right though I doubt it.
 
We went on the boat today with the kids on the tube.Tomorrow we will go and snorkel ar Dibba rock and then join the kids for a joy ride on the banana tube just to show how brave mom's gotten.
 
We played badmington on the beach for a long long time and my energy is endless now.
 
Life is so different now that i am so much lighter.I dont sit and watch everyone do the fun things any more,I participate in every thing there is to do.
 
I cannot wait to go skiing some time early next year.
 
More than anything I cannot wait to lose this last 30 pounds so I can start looking into plastics.My butt is hanging behind my knees and no bathing suite stays over it.I am constantly pulling and tugging to keep it in place and will seriously have to look for a different style one.The wrinckly skin also bothers me a little,but hey,I dont know anyone one here so am not too self concious (spelling!)
 
Life is good and not even the cold I have could spoil the fun this time around!

Today I wish I was normal.Not only thin normal but not ADD or OCD and not I wish that I could take medication to "fix" me! All I wanted to do today was eat,all day long!I couldnt stop thinking about food for a minute.It was one of those me me me me days that I just hate.
 
And I wish I lived in a country where it wasnt such a mission to find a therapist that is going to stay put.But we are all expats,habitual movers!
 
Once I found a pill,for 2 weeks..lol.I went to my gp and said I am sick of myself and need something.He yanked a sample of Cymbalta out of his drawer and said try this and see me in 2 weeks,remember it only works after 10 days.After exactly 24 hours I knew that was what normal felt like.I was calm.My OCD was gone,my mind started focussing for the first time EVER!Didint have a 100 tracts playing in the head all at once!I could drive a car without it being a competition to see who wins,I could deal with life without the impending sense of doom and having to tell myself a million times a day that everything is fine,nothing to worry about.I slept a full night for the first time in my life and most important,my fear of people all but disappeared.
 
Then my kidneys function started being affected but I couldnt care less.After 10 days I could hardly walk but happy as I have ever been.Said they would have to wressle the little suckers out of my stone cold hand after my death.He just didnt give me a perscription and that was the end of that! Lol
 
I have been a born again Christian for 15 years now and the Lord have really changed me since then.But I am still me and non of the things I have considered very important like the above mentioned,have changed.I suppose there were so many other things that needed change that this might not even have made the list.I really love the Lord and I know He loves me but boy I wish He would renew my mind more! But He clearly has a plan for my life.And He clearly smiles patiently upon me when I tell Him to hurry up and change me more NOW!
 
Accepting ourself,warts and all, might be so important in a successful future with the sleeve.I am blessed beyond measure in so many aspects of life that I should be able to say its ok to be me.Its ok to not be perfect,its ok!
 
Well,it is the middle of the night now and close to my bed time.Tomorrow,or just now..hehehe...is a new day.I can put this one behind me,live just for the new one,not worry about the future and breathe.
 
God is good all the time and maybe I dont really need that pill.
 
 
 
 

179.7 pounds this morning.
 
Eating off plan once every 2 weeks seems to help every now and then.When I was on Atikins if I stalled I would have a plate of spagetti bolognese and voila,the weight would drop.Should just be back on plan immediately the next day though.
 
Happy me!!!!

Hello and Welcome to my very first Blog!
I feel we have so much to catch up on, and at first I didn't really know where to start our first adventure. But I think I'll just begin with how Minnie and I met.
 
December 4th, 2012. (Yes, just 7 short days ago!!) I had a Vertical Sleeve done at 12:30pm in Gonzales, La. My Doctor, Dr. Andrew Hargroder, and the hospital staff were wonderful!
 
I met Minnie about 2 hours later! She was very uncomfortable and was letting me know it! After moving around and getting some gas out of my abdomen we both felt sooo much better.
My son, Dominick, actually named "MINNIE". He said I have a "new" mini stomach!
And from then on, Minnie, stuck! *smile*
 
Now, Minnie, is very bossy about everything that goes in. No matter what I would like to her to have, she has the ultimate say on EVERYTHING! What time, how much, how big/small, cold/hot, ummm, yea, I'm not in control at this point! LOL However much I would like to think that I am... I'm NOT!
 
We tried ice chips for our first taste test. That worked for about 1 day! Then it was broth! That is still her favorite thing so far! Our next adventure was a move up to "full liquids" per Dr. requirements. And have found that Greek Yogurt has taken 2nd place.
 
It's a good thing Minnie knows what she wants because I find myself wrapped up entirely in a mind war! Keeping up with what I can offer for food and when, remembering to log all food into my fitness pal, worrying if I have enough protein and water, excercising enough and for Goodness sake don't even mention a plateau!!! I'll freak! I just want the maximum benefit from my adventures with, Minnie! It can be very frustrating. But friends and fellow VSG'rs all say just calm down do your best and it will be the best thing ever! So for now I'll have to take their word for it.
Which is hard because everything I've ever tried failed. *sigh*
It's almost to good to be true amd I find myself not allowing for high hopes for fear they wont' be realized.
BUT Minnie has held true and taken me on an adventure I couldn't do by myself ever before. I actually WON a 'mind battle' yesterday and discovered something new about myself!
I realized that I need to go to sleep earlier than I always do. (1am or later) Not just for obvious reasons, but because that is when my "munchies" start!
I actually won to not eat anything, (shake/broth/jello all of which I could have legally had) just because it sounded fun and comforting.

A great feat!! The boys and I were watching a christmas movie and I wanted something to munch. I could just taste something, anything, sliding down and filling my minnie to capacity. But I was NOT hungry! I was just fine. So I didn't eat anything. I did drink some flavored water, finished the movie and went to bed. I can't tell you how many times today, I found myself reaching for my sons red hots that he left on the table, or something else, just out of habit!! It looked good so I wanted it 'cause I just knew it would make me feel good to have something for me. A treat maybe? I really dont' understand why I have conditioned myself to this way of thinking but it truly must end!!
I have purposed to find a more productive way of "treating" myself......Quilting and I make bows for our Dog Spa. AND when I remind myself that I have something better to do, I'm fine. I have purpose. so simple and I can't help but wonder, Have I traided boredom for food?? For immediate satisfaction?? What more could I have been doing all these years?? HMMMM.....well, it's something to work on and I really pray that a new habit can be formed in 30 days 'cause this is one that will be a benefit of MINNIE!!
 
Thanks for reading and if you have any questions make a post and I'll answer the best I can. In the mean time blogging may end up on my "treat" list too.. hehehe

The closer the day gets, the more anxious I become. 10 days and I will be On my way to a new life. I keep a diary of all my letters to god. Every prayer, every thanks, or when I want to express myself to the man above I simply write it down. Well, as the year is coming to an end I decided to look through my last letters to God and I truly believe this operation is heaven sent. I never realized the pain all this weight was causing me. On a mental level! Of all my prayers, 85% of them were about my weight and me almost complaining to god that he has not answered me. His word says "if you remain in me and my words in you, ask whatever you wish and it shall be given unto you". Well I asked him to help me lose weight. Literally with those words. I didn't know how I was gonna do it, but I trusted god, and though some critics may call it the easy way out, for some of us it was the only way out. Some may not be spiritual, but very surely I tell you, there is a god! Ive prayed and saw my prayers answered time and time again. I've been able to accomplish and do things I could not have done in my own strength and will. I no longer worry about what will happen 10 days from today because as long as I know the man above is the force behind it, nothing can possibly go wrong.
 
My praises will never cease! On my way to a new me!!!!

Since I had such great results at my weigh-in on Monday, I decided to weigh myself again on Tuesday... gained a pound (almost). In hopes of seeing the scale go back down, I weighed myself again on Wednesday... gained another pound (almost). Starting to worry, I weighed myself again today... gained ANOTHER pound (almost)
 
In 3 days I GAINED almost 3 pounds! WHAT THE!?!
 
I was seriously concerned that maybe I was doing something wrong so I called my bariatric doctor's office and spoke with the nurse... who told me some information that made me feel like I was able to eat far too much soup/protein shakes at a sitting. She said she was surprised I hadn't thrown up or felt uncomfortable. I told her I haven't had any problems at all and don't feel overly hungry ever or overly full either. She decided to have the nutritionist give me a call.
 
First off, she told me STOP weighing myself daily. I knew this but was concerned after I gained at only a couple weeks post-op. She said that it is physically impossible for me to gain 3 pounds in 3 days and that it had to be water weight. Cool. Good to know! I haven't heard many say they gained so early on. It really had me freaking out!
 
She also moved my diet from Stage 2 foods to Stage 3 foods. It is CRAZY how many choices I have now just moving to this stage. It is almost fun to plan my meals and making sure they are balanced. I can't wait to be able to make the same things I eat for my kids too.
 
My sleeve can hold 3-5oz she said. For EVERY meal I need 1 oz protein, 1 oz fruit or vegetable and 1 oz starch. No more soup or protein shakes for meals.
 
I got my pep in my step back! I hope the scale moves in my favor next time I weigh in!

My breath is absolutely horrible!!! My mom calls it "ketosis breath". It's bad!
I can't wait for the bad breath to go away! I hope it will be soon!!!

I weighed myself again today just for the fun of it... NOT a good idea. I gained a pound and now today I want to eat anything and everything.... of course I'm not doing that, but I WANT TO! I'm trying not to get down about "gaining." I hope it disappears and takes some more weight with it!
 
I'm still trying to exercise more, but am having a hard time just making myself do it. I don't know what my problem is... Any recommendations to get my butt in gear?!

I am 2 weeks post-op today. I'm feeling pretty good. I am starting to want to try new foods, but am scared to. I will wait until next week when I see my doctor for my post-op visit.
 
I weighed myself this morning and have lost 14 pounds since surgery. I'm happy with this amount, but of course always wish it was more. A pound a day... can't complain. I also have lost over 5 inches.
 
I have lost a total of 38 pounds since dieting and surgery... I still can't really tell that I've lost any weight other than my face is getting a little thinner and pants are getting a little looser than normal by the end of the day. That part is still so frustrating to me. For crying out loud, I just lost the same amount and my daughter weighs! A whole human being!
 
I'm not going to allow myself to become discouraged. I always remind myself that it took me 24 years to gain the weight, so I need to be patient and know that it won't al fall off overnight. I can't wait until things really start changing though!
 
I can finally pick up my kids. I LOVE it!!! They are the sweetest kids ever! They are my everything!
 
Things with my husband and I have gotten better (although they were never bad). He was so concerned about me going through with the surgery, but very encouraging. He is an excellent cheerleader and has helped to keep me on track a couple times that I wanted to stray. We went for a nice walk this afternoon and it was nice to just be together. I'm VERY blessed to have the most amazing family ever!
 
Life is good.