mzackamfam

I had my first fill on monday. It went great. It was a really weird sensation, but didnt hurt at all like some people said it would, so thats good. From monday to this morning i have already lost 3.5!! i'm so ecstatic to not be hungry all the freaking time!! I did throw up the first time last night tho. That wasnt as bad as people said either. I think i just ate too fast and then drank water. I'm excited to learn about what having a band is like and what and how i can eat now. I feel like the journey has finally begun and i'm excited for the first time in a long time!

So yesterday morning I started the 45 day exercise challenge put forth by my surgeon's office and the support group I go to.(refer to previous post) I went to the gym and did 15 minutes on the Eliptical, 20 on the bike, and 10 minutes on the treadmill. I was having a hard time going longer than that so I would change machines to have a small break walking to the next one.
 
Last night I was so sore! Every muscle I had hurt and I am not even lifting weights! Not allowed to do that until I am past 6 weeks post op. I was in bed by 9:30 which is almost unheard of for me.
 
This morning I woke up on my own at 6:25. Got up, decided I was wide awake, got dressed. I leaned over the bed to kiss my husband and tell him to have a good day before I left. He was confused. He thought I was hitting on him and he got very surprised when I said I was going to the gym. Poor guy. LOL
 
So today was a new day for me. I enjoyed my workout. I raised my time on the eliptical to 35 minutes and then did a 10 minute cool down on the bike. I wanted to go hike Superstition mountain tomorrow but can't find anyone to go with me. I don't want to go on the trail by myself. So I suppose it will be back to the gym in the morning for a good workout.
 
So I have learned this week that all the stuff I told myself before my surgery was just bullshit excuses. The gym is too far. I can't get up that early. I have too much work to do. The kids take up a lot of time.
 
The gym is a half hour from my house. I now enjoy singing at the top of my lungs on my drive. I own my own business and work from the time I get up to when i go to bed. I now MAKE time for myself because I am worth it and I need the peace of not having to deal with anyone but myself for an hour. Same goes for the kids. We all do better if Mom has some alone time.
 
As for my husband wanting me to hit on him. I am flattered he is taking notice and WANTING me to hit on him. The fact that he was disappointed that I am not is saying a whole lot. It means he is paying attention and that is great.
 
I am very excited to just be able to get out of bed without feeling so damn tired all day. My weight loss has slowed as is normal for this stage. I am now on Month two of post op. I am told it slows down for everyone. Even with it being slow.. I have more energy at 280 this time than I did the last time I weighed 280. Must be something to do with the scale moving backwards instead of forwards.
 
Tomorrow is day 3 of my challenge. It is good to have challenge in life. It makes you feel like you can accomplish anything. So here is to great new beginnings and being healthier in mind and body.

About three or so months ago Jacksonville held the biggest adoption event ever for cats and dogs. Over 850 cats and dogs were adopted in a single weekend. As some of you know I am a big advocate for abused animals and rescue overly abused iguanas. Every year over 8 million dogs and cats are euthanized because people refuse to spay or neuter their pets. That is 8 million too many. I vowed this year I was going to put some kind of happenings in to action regarding euthanasia and abuse to animals and began writing my senators and congress men and women. Of course they nix things like this off because after all it is just an animal. An animal that has no voice. We can house rapist and murderers, feed them, clothe them, provide shelter but can't save a helpless animal from being put to death because an owner just didn't want them anymore, refused to feed them, or like with pit bulls chose to fight them until they died.
 
The first congressional hearing is going to happen. I am taking my voice to be their voice to Washington D.C. in April to stand before our law makers and make them accountable to make harsher punishments for people who abuse animals, to provide aide to shelters so that these animals can live until they are adopted, to make owners who surrender pets just because they don't want them anymore to have to pay fines besides just a surrender fee. With the help of three attorneys here in Jacksonville, our Mayor, and several SPCA members from this area along with law enforcement, we are all going to make our voices heard.
 
Every cities shelters need help. If you can donate some of your time please do, if you have old blankets, can donate some food please do. These animals do not deserve to die because people throw them away like garbage. I am also urging any of you to write your senators and congressmen and women to provide the funds needed so that shelters won't have to euthanize animals. I know I am only one person but by God I am doing something to try to help save these babies. When you adopt an animal it is part of your family. I don't think any good parent would surrender a child because they didn't want them anymore. A pet is for life. Also if you want to adopt an animal go to a shelter. Most of the time you pay only 20 bucks and the animals are already fixed and if you already have an animal please get them spayed or neutered. We owe it to animals and children to make sure they get the best care they deserve.

So.. I have signed up to do a 45 day challenge with my weight loss support group from my surgeon's office. The challenge is we have to exercise every day for 45 days. We then have to post a pic or a video of us doing the exercise or being active in some way on the group's facebook forum page. The prize is a chance to win a gift card.
 
So today, I joined a gym. I have a friend who did the RNY surgery today. She goes to the same gym and will be working out with me when she is back on her feet. I don't really care about the gift card. I am excited to be excited about working out. This has never happened to me before. I usually hate the thought of any kind of physical activity.
 
I feel good when i get up and out of the house for a while. I feel great after I dance with my daughter. I might not have dropped a ton of weight yet (who has at 4 weeks?), but I have a ton more energy.
 
I am down 25 lbs so far. I am looking forward to seeing what I will look like and feel like after the 45 day challenge. Once it is over, I will post an album of the daily pictures so we can see the progress. If people want to see it. I thought it might be cool to see what a one and a half month transformation looks like.

The face of my granddaughter says it all. Love my Sydnii she is too much. Happy Valentines Day everyone.

Over the last month I have lost 6 classmates all from heart attacks, cancers and other ailments that were health fanatics, gym rats, runners. Being healthy is a plus but genetics plays a big role in how long we will live. When I was almost 300lbs I never had high cholesterol ever. My friend Lisa was a gym rat and dropped dead at 38 from a massive heart attack. My sons half brother died at 29 from a massive heart attack and when they did the autopsy he had heart disease.
 
We all want to be healthy and have wls to get there. I feel great but my family has a history of breast cancer. So where am I going with this? Get the weight off and live each day to its fullest. Go on vacation, spend time with your family, make up to people who have done you wrong even if you know you were right.
 
Life is too short to be waiting for health and wealth. My husband and I are just now looking to purchase our first home. Because the market is right. Jacksonville is a great area and the housing market is great. Do I want a 30 year mortgage at 50? Heck no but who cares I want my own home. We are spending a thousand dollars a month or rent when we could get a 4 bedroom home on water front property and pay about 415 a month in mortgage payments. So now my fun begins going to look at homes. Some as cheap as 98,000 for a three bedroom just built in 2007. The banks want to get rid of them so desperately they are going for practically nothing. Have fun, stop letting the number on the scale bum you out and do something that you always wanted to do.

Well I was always told by my surgeon that lapband patients should never throw up and this question has come up many times on the forums what happens if you get a stomach virus. Well I haven't had one in about 2 decades so I was kind of hoping I wouldn't ever get one again.
 
Well last night after dinner my stomach felt like crap. I only ate a small amount of pork but I took some prilosec and went to bed. Holy crap at 2 a.m. I woke up heaving up what I thought was all my internal organs and had massive amounts of diarrhea I know TMI. The good thing was the only thing that was coming up was gas so it was just horrible dry heaving. I was home alone because my husband was away and I knew I could not drive to the hospital with a bucket heaving as hard as I was. I figured I would take some compazine I had from my gallbladder surgery and I called my surgeon. He said drink water even if it comes back up because it will make the throwing up less violent and meet him at his office at 6.a.m. Well so much for the compazine because that wouldnt even stay down.
 
My doctor met me at his office at 6a.m gave me a shot for the nausea because he is nice like that and sent me for a stat ct scan. By now I was only throwing up about every hour. My little band was fine thank God. He said at three years post op that it is probably well adhered to the stomach so it would take more than this to move it.
 
 
Of course I have major swelling so he told me clear liquids for the rest of the week and through the weekend and not to try to put any food in there even if I am hungry. He gave me a shot for the nausea which thank God has gone away and told me to drink plenty of gator aid for now. He didn't think there was a need to remove the fluid, just resting the stomach would do fine he said. Well the one good thing about all this is I hate more then anything to throw up and I was thankful that nothing came up.
 
So now ya know if you have a stomach virus the first thing to do is call your doctor to guide you. He is there for me no matter what. I dont feel embarrassed to call him and this time I needed him. I don't like going to the ER's for things like this because there are worse off people then me in there. So now if the other end stops I will be fine. Trying to eat some italian water ice slowly just to get some fluids in. So my hope is to not have a stomach virus for another 4 decades now lol.

So I am 4 weeks post op. I am still losing weight although I had my first week where I did not. I had the dreaded TOM and everything stopped for a week. Thankfully, this week I am down 3 more lbs. Total lost so far is 24lbs.
 
This week I have also discovered what people mean when they say stress tightens the band. Boy does it ever. I had a rotten experience where I had to defend my son from some pretty nasty accusations this week. (no worries, eventually turned out in his favor) As soon as I arrived back home I felt for the first time almost as if someone had their hand around my stomach. It was the first time I felt like I wanted to throw up. I did not, thank goodness. I did full liquids for the rest of the day and half of the next day and things seemed to calm down.
 
This week my husband and I have also decided to start saving to have ground broken on our new house. Dealing with banks, finances, mortgages and all of that has been stressful as well. I am learning how to incorporate the band into daily life and am very grateful it is here. We have even been able to go out to eat and I am doing well making better choices. Before, with all this stress I would be eating everything not nailed down. I am a stress eater and there is stress galore in my life. However, my fear of throwing up or getting anything stuck has really worked in my favor. I have not been eating out of control. If anything now I have to make myself get enough calories for the minimum I am required to have.
 
i am still super excited to be banded. I think with all the stress of my life changes this is still going to be the best year of my life. I am becoming healthier. I have started to love to exercise where I hated it before. I love to dance and ride bikes. I am excited about life right now. For the first time in 20 years.. I feel like I can accomplish anything. That is really saying something when you are only 34. To have all of your younger years be miserable and suddenly find happiness is a blessing. I will forever be grateful to my surgeon and my wonderful family. They are the best support group I could ever ask for. Being part of this group is also wonderful. Being able to search for topics whenever I have a question has been very helpful. I hope everyone continues to post their progress.

So I am currently on the mushy stage of my diet. Basically I can eat whatever I can mush up or thick liquids. If it can be pureed or mushied it can be eaten right now.
 
I have a rather large combined family and one of my biggest fears is it would be really hard not to want to eat the things the kids can have but I cannot. So subtly, over the last few grocery trips I have been making small changes that add up.
 
I bought spaghetti sauce with less sugar in it. I bought turkey meatballs and I changed their pasta to whole wheat. (I dont eat the pasta and probably never will again).
 
So when I made dinner.. The kids never said a word about the new taste of the meal. They loved it! They never knew the difference in the meatballs because I never said anything like "Hey this is really different.. try it". I just cooked like normal but with better ingredients. The family had their pasta dinner and I had two mushed up tiny meatballs and a little bit of sauce. Family dinner was a success.
 
Then last night's dinner was Mexican food night. Now.. I LOVE Mexican food. There is a little hole in the wall place here in the town I live in that I visited at least 4 times a week pre surgery. Yeah.. I admit it.. its my favorite and a weakness.
 
I made the taco meat with ground turkey and just seasoned it like normal. The seasoning turned it the orange color and gave it the same flavor. The kids never knew the difference. Used lower fat cheese and for the fajitas we did grilled chicken. I had fat free refried beans with a little salsa on top.
 
Lunch today was tomato soup with skim milk. They love tomato soup so that was never a fear.
 
I was so scared I would want to eat junk food. In all reality I am improving the health of my kids and they don't even know the difference. I am not making a huge deal out of EVERYTHING HAS TO CHANGE!!! If I do that.. they will shut down and not want anything new. I bought this HUGE box of sugar free popsicles and the kids love them for treats.
 
I wanted to write this blog to let other people know if you are worried about how the kids will react to the diet changes, just change it. Just make stuff and set it on the table. The rule in my house is if you are hungry enough you will eat. Try to make small little changes to favorites that make them healthier without changing everything they love. Another thing we have always done is there is never ever tv on during dinner. It is our time as a family to talk about the day. I think this kind of distracts them a little bit. It is so important for me to keep that time as a special family time. Where food was always the center of family get togethers, I think it in some ways still can be. We just have to make healthier decisions. So far even right down to the 6 year old, I have gotten great support from my kiddos.
 
I am so happy my major change can also be a healthy change for them without negatively impacting them. The last thing I want is to find any of my daughters obsessing over a scale before school. I want this to be an easy transition for everyone. While I am still learning what I can eat, I am having fun experimenting and looking at new things to cook for everyone. I am sure I can come up with healthy treats and things kids love without gaining weight back. I am just going to have to make the effort and be excited and say things like Oh my gosh you guys.. this is so yummy. If I have something yummy, most of the time they want to try it.
 
I still have my days where the smell of bacon wants me to know over my grandma for a plate of food.. but I think this journey is going to be a lot less hard than I thought as long as I just do it.
 
My imagination is so much worse than reality. Don't pysche yourself out. You got this.

So when I started my blog, I promised to be open and honest about as much as I possibly can with progress with the band. I want my blog to be a place where newbies or those going in for their diet visits to get some honest info. No scare tactics, no BS.
 
So I have read the boards and forums but I have never seen anyone say step by step what it is like to get a fill. Today I went for my first fill and this is step by step how it happened.
 
First I had a meeting with my dietitian. I had tons of questions for her today. I was upset that I had seemed to stall out on my weightloss. She said in fact I had lost more weight that I was unaware of. She also explained with the amount of exercise I have been doing, I am building muscle even though I am only doing cardio right now. So she explained the muscle will weigh more than the fat and eventually I will start to lose again. She told me to calm down and stop wigging out. My husband and I have decided I should not use the scale anymore at home to weigh myself. It drives me nuts and is obviously not accurate. I just bought a new one and it still drives me bonkers. I absolutely love my dietitian. She was very patient with me today. She explained in detail how the fill helps. I was confused as to why the fill is supposed to help when I am already only getting about 800 cals a day. However, I also have the plication. Because I was unfilled sometimes I would eat just a tiny bit too much. By the time the food got to the plicated part of my stomach I would be uncomfortable but just a little. She explained to me the nerves that tell us we are full are at the top of our stomachs. The goal is for my band to put gentle pressure on my stomach so that the nerves are triggered easier to tell me I am full. That was I will not over eat with that one more tiny bite that sends me into discomfort.
 
After I spoke with her it was time to get the fill.
 
First the nurse took me back to the fill room, had me lay down and looked for my port with the ultra sound machine. Once the port was located, she then put iodine on the port location.
 
Once I was prepped and ready the doctor came in. Now, my doctor is the kind of doctor who is very friendly and chatty. At the same time he is a no bullshit kind of guy. If you are messing up he is going to tell you. So he comes in chatting away and I am immediately put at ease. He numbs the port site with lidocaine. Honestly this was the worst part with a tiny burning sting. I have had kids.. this aint nothin... so they say.
 
Once the port area is numb, Dr. DeBarros then put the needle for the saline into the port. The nurse helped me stand up and handed me a cup of water. Dr. D told me to drink the water while he was doing the fill. He was looking for the point where the water would back up. So the funny part was because I am used to sipping he kept telling me to drink faster. So about the third time he said that I stopped and said.. You are not supposed to do that on the band, Dr. D. He just laughed and said, "I didn't say stop." Now all of this took about 5-10 minutes start to finish.
 
They he asked me about my exercise and was surprised I am already up to 45 minutes a day. He said I was doing great. My diet for the next few days is to move up each stage one day at a time. Today is clear liquids, tomorrow fulls, Sunday will be mushy and then i can work my way up. My next fill appt is set for March 22. If I do not feel like I need one I will just go in for a check up and talk to the dietitian. I am so happy that I get to go visit the office once a month. I cannot imagine having a procedure where you see the doctor once and that is it. I am supremely grateful that my surgeon's office has a full staff that answers my questions and can give me the education I need to succeed on this journey.

Stress was one factor that always made me eat. Well heck before the band I never needed an excuse to eat. But now some how when I am stressed, I just write. Sometimes people think they can sway your day at work, or in life generally but what they don't realize is that the more they keep stressing you, the better a person you become. It makes you stronger, makes you realize they are just one person in this whole big world trying to rain on your parade and guess what? It won't matter one darn bit in ten years. I will still be who I am, still be successful in my weight loss, still teach my nutrition classes, still fight for animal rights, still have a loving husband and continue to improve my writing skills. You can't always make everyone happy in life, but why let food get in your way. There will always be people who will try to spoil your day, ruin what you have worked hard for because they themselves have failed.
 
I had a client who was miserable to the point the doctor kicked her out of his practice because she wouldn't listen to him and failed at her band. She tried to make the whole group miserable but what she did not realize is the more she tried to make them miserable the more weight they all lost just to prove her wrong so that in turn made her even more miserable because she failed at what she was trying to do.
 
Don't let stress make you eat and miserable because its just one time in your life that you have to take the bull by the horns and know that food won't solve the problem but only add to your problems. Have a blessed day because I will for sure.

I have my first fill today. I have no idea what it's going to feel like and how its going to effect me... hoping for the best... i feel like this is really where my journey begins.. feeling anxious yet hopeful. eeek!

so i was hanging with friends yesterday and we dont see each other very often. once a month maybe. anyway they decided they wanted to drink. n i wasnt gunna. but they convinced me to have a sip. no big deal. it made my stomach kind of crampy so i didnt continue (wasnt planning on it anyway but yeah) i did have some "scale-less victories" yesterday though. we were at subway. i didnt eat anything there. but we have friends that work there and they sort of burnt some cookies like 2 dozen and she brought the tray over and asked hey free cookies u want some? i didnt take any! and i love those cookies. my one friend took about six my other two. so that was good. but then we went back to my friends house to drink (them not me) and we decided we were gunna see what all the fuss was about on that chatroulette site. it was a horrible demeaning experience..
 
so we maybe talked to idk 15-10 people and three of them asked if i was my other friends' mother... im 21 for christ sake... one person as soon as they could see us started pointing and yelling "fat lady fat lady fat lady!!" over and over. another person said they didnt want to talk to us because i was a heifer... another person once they could see us said "WHOA" we asked what.. they said man she's fat.
 
my friends just dont get it.. they just ignored these people and what they were saying to me..didnt even try to stick up for me.. they know its all true and so do i.. i would have just left but i never get to see them.. so it ruined my night and i was depressed all night. being the "buzz kill" that i am. it certainly didnt help i have been having a tough time w my depression and stuff this week.. not sure why but it feels like im off all of them.. not good.. they just dont get it and they literally are avoiding talking about the ELEPHANT in the room.. they tell me what do u care what random people think of you.. well cuz its confirming how i feel others look at me everyday especially at classes.. i have a hard time making friends and i feel thats half the reason.. i have no confidence and am so insecure that when people hit my like that it really really hurts... this is the only place where people might understand.. i dont expect people to say im beautiful, but my god..
 
 
another reason im posting this is so maybe when im successful with my band that i can look back at this and not forget how horrible things are/were. also i have now decided if i ever date people again my test is going to be what they think of obese people.. if they have bad feedback. theyre out of here.
 
people suck. thats all i can say..

My surgery was the 7th of jan, so i'm three weeks out.
 
Last thursday i had gotten under 350 (349) and then after thursday i had gained four pounds that i had to widdle back down. It didnt seem to be coming off like it should so i was/still am frustrated. then i get up the courage to way again today and i was 348.8! so i'm down at a low again i just hope this one lasts and i dont have to go back into the 350's again. i want to be done with that number forever! anyway just writing this to remind myself that your weight fluctuates and if u dont get too discouraged and if you stay on track it will come down again.
i'm doing ok so far since my surgery. could be more hardcore, but compared to what i was doing before this is hardcore.. if that makes any sense. i'm just worried about how hard its going to get to maintain (thats what im hopiing for) or lose until my first fill. which is Feb 18th, it's my valentines day present to myself Btw how much is the usual first fill? i know the size of the band and stuff is different for some people. but i'm just curious.. also how long do u have to wait before getting another fill if you need it?

NSV: I cancelled my blind date tonight. Why is this an NSV? Because the only time he texted me was on Weds to say he was having a really busy rough time at work and would get back to me. And never did. Tonight we had tentative plans with NO time or location specified (only that we should have dinner Friday and we will plan it later in the week) and I've been waiting quietly for him to plan or let me know. Last night was his deadline. I don't accept same day dates. I'm not desperate nor weak... anymore. Once upon a time I would have taken any excuse from someone to cancel, disappear, or do a last minute date with me. Something has triggered in me and I'm not accepting anymore dating b.s. The bar has been set. If he wants to see me, he can take me to a dinner date when he calls and plans ahead. I kept my babysitter, texted my friend and her husband and we are going out to dinner instead. When (or even IF) he finally calls to set something up, I'll just let him know that I've got a life. A great one. And he's going to have to step up his game if he wants my time. Plan ahead, book a time with me, and stay true to it, or I'm saying bu-bye. I'm kinda digging my new found confidence.
 
... oh yeah, and I dropped -3.5 lbs this week. I'm excited to go out with my friends and do a little twirl in my new dress and cowgirl boots. Loving my sleeve, and ME!
 
Height: 5'9
 
Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216
 
1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (Achieved 11/27)
2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145
 
Sleeve Journey:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs)
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)
Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)
Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs)
Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5)
Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5)
Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1)
Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1)
Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs)
Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2)
Week 15 (11/30): 167.3 (-5.8)
Week 16 (12/7): 168.1 (+.8)
Week 17 (12/14): 164.6 (-3.5)

Last week I lost over -5 lbs and was doing amazing. I felt great and everything was on track for this week. Tuesday morning I stepped on the scale and was still holding steady at my Friday weight. THen I took my son to the movies and decided to partake in some good old buttered popcorn. I didn't eat a lot, but was surprised that I was able to eat as much as I did. Most definitly a slider food. Then to my horror when I woke up on Wednesday morning, the scale should more than a +2 lbs increase! I was in shock. How could introducing one food into my daily routine off set me so much? Was it the salt? The butter? The absorption of the popcorn? I've spent the last 48 hours trying to detox, drink lots of water, make good choices and to my dismay when I got on the scale this morning, discovered I was still up +.8 lbs from last weeks weigh in. While it's not a lot, it's my first actual weight gain since surgery and very sad for me. I work so hard to lose weight that to see a number go up, even slightly brings back fat kid PTSD. I also noticed something interesting, I always gain/slow down dramatically right before my cycle and I am just a couple of days from my cycle which I think might be a major contributor to this situation.
 
When I really started doing my homework this is what I discovered about popcorn:
 
"Ordering a medium popcorn and soda combo from a major national movie theater chain is the equivalent of eating three McDonald's Quarter Pounders with 12 pats of butter, according to a new study by the Center for Science in the Public Interest.
 
According to laboratory analysis conducted by the Center for Science and Public Interest (CSPI), the concessions from Regal, the country's biggest movie chain, have 1,160 calories and three days worth - 60 grams - of fat. Regal said that the medium popcorn had 720 calories and the large had 960, but CSPI's tests found those numbers to be understated. A small popcorn at Regal had 670 calories - the same as a Pizza Hut Personal Pepperoni Pan Pizza. Even if you share a small popcorn - it's still about a day's worth of saturated fat per person, according to CSPI." - http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-204_162-5704044.html
 
SO needless to say, I'm spending the next week drinking a LOT of water, making good eating choices, taking my vitamins. Not really sure if there is much else I can do but be more observant. I am at my primary goal, but my secondary goal is becoming more and more important to me everyday!!!
 
Height: 5'9
 
Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216
 
1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (Achieved 11/27)
2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145
 
Sleeve Journey:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs)
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)
Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)
Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs)
Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5)
Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5)
Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1)
Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1)
Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs)
Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2)
Week 15 (11/30): 167.3 (-5.8)
Week 16 (12/7): 168.1 (+.8)

This week I hit goal, and then some. Yesterday, I had an amazing opportunity to host a Medal of Honor recipient at my University and I was extremely excited. But things didn't go exactly to plan for my unoffical coming out party. How did D-Day go for me? Well, there were a lot of casualties... First off, I'm so happy I did my weight loss surgery, for ME, and me alone. Because I really had to put things into perspective. I had ex that said he was coming to the event, and a new guy I've been talking to for the past couple of weeks also RSVP. I was so psyched and really went all out getting ready, turns out NEITHER ONE of them showed up, and I felt quite dissapointed. I wanted to yell "TA DA!" but that opportunity was taken by their empty chairs... I was a little bitter and jaded about it- but then something interesting started to happen... I did a perfect performance with the event. Dozens and dozens of colleagues I hadn't seen in months were flipping out about how great I looked, my director was very pleased with everything, a friend from Ft. Benning did show up and took me too lunch and we walked all over campus chatting for the afternoon. Then I got a last second note that my team water polo end of season dinner was that evening (I missed the first announcement) and I walked in, and everyone gasped...
 
So while my love life might be in the dumps- I think it's safe to say a LOT of people in my life have noticed my weight loss, everyone has been dumb founded and when I saw this pic I posted- I barely recognized myself. I went from the verge of tears that afternoon, to complete peace coming home tin the evening after my team dinner. I know this is my journey, and I know that it's not one event that makes us who we are, it's the little everyday victories like being able to wake up and like what you see in the mirror that matters. And I really am starting to like what I see. And since I'm fairly religious, I will just throw it out there, that when I do meet Mr. Right, it will be on God's time, not mine. So I'm going to pick myself up, brush myself off, be thankful for my opportunities and another day to wake up and like the new me.Thank you all for being on this journey with me. ♥
 
Here is a pic from earlier today, me with medal of honor recipient Colonel Jacobs.
 
 
Height: 5'9
 
Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216
 
1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (Achieved 11/27)
2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145
 
Sleeve Journey:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs)
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)
Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)
Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs)
Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5)
Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5)
Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1)
Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1)
Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs)
Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2)
Week 15 (11/30): 167.3 (-5.8)

Holy Toledo! Of course I couldn't be simple- I had to reach my goal weight in dramatic fashion! God's divine sense of humor has struck again...
 
So I had a first/blind date with a gentlemen officer who ended up getting sick on Sunday and cancelled his date but asked to reschedule. Well, last night he texted me and told me his work (he's in a higher level officer training course at the moment at our local military installation) will be at my University on Thursday- for the lecture I'm co-hosting for a General who's speaking. This would be the same lecture I've been nervously working so hard for because my ex boyfriend was going to be attending and I wanted to take the opportunity to show off my new me. Apparently God's seeing fit to screw with my head and put them both in that lecture hall at the same time..... Spanx and hot bodycon business dress- don't fail me now! Thursday is D- Day for me as far as I'm concerend.
 
Then I woke up... I woke up and got on the scale and I made my goal weight this morning... And the guest lecture I'm hosting that the ex and current male interests are both attending is in 2 days.... Well played God. Well played.
 
I <3 my sleeve!!!!!
 
Height: 5'9
 
Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216
 
1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (achieved 11/27)
2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145
 
Sleeve Journey:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs)
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)
Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)
Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs)
Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5)
Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5)
Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1)
Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1)
Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs)
Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2)
***1st Goal Weight Achieved Week (11/27): 169.5 lbs***

When I weighed in on Wednesday, I was over -2 lbs down this week to 171.0, I worked out and everything was great... then came Thanksgiving. Let's be brutally honest people, I didn't gain weight compared to last Friday's weigh in, I stepped on the scale and saw 173.1 staring back me (I was 173.3 last week), so I consider my first official holiday success even though I only lost -.2 lbs this week. Hands down I'm guilty as sin for grazing all day, nibbling, and snacking away. I wasn't able to eat much at the actual sit down part, but I sure made my mini plate dent through the day. I only had one alcoholic beverage, and I tried to snack on protein (turkey) as much as possible. I've never been able to control myself as much as I have this year. I walked away satisfied, having tasted all the treats, but never getting more than two bites of anything. At first I felt a little guity, but driving home last night I felt victorious. I knew I had only eaten a fraction of what I normally do, and I even somehow managed to completely shy away from taking a ton of left overs home to continue the binge eating as I've done in the past. Double score. So I'll take my lowest weekly weight loss since surgery as a huge step forward. My first major holiday with friends was a success with my sleeve. I lost weight even on Thanksgiving week... and oh, am I ever so Thankful for my sleeve!!!
 
 
Height: 5'9
 
Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216
 
1st Primary Goal Weight: 169
2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145
 
Sleeve Journey:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs)
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)
Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)
Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs)
Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5)
Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5)
Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1)
Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1)
Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs)
Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2)

I think I've got this thing about "dumping" with the sleeve.
 
Let me explain.I think I've been eating relatively low carb recently.And I say I think as I am not tracking my carbs,just checking my protein intake more or less every day.But I have not had any added carbs this week except green peppers and onions.Tonight I had a bit of TGI friday spinach and artichoke dip with some veal strips.During the day I had some chicken strips and some beef strips.Had 2 Dolchi gusto cappucinos.And then tonight I decided to have some Amarula liqeur.Its like Baileys.
 
I took one sip and bam,I started feeling hot,nauseas,palpitations,feeling like I had to visit the toilet,felt absolutely aweful.Early post op I had a couple of incidents like this when I would eat some sugar or fat for that matter.But lately I would have a cookie if I wanted or ok,I sont really do sugar at all anymore really.The cookie would be it.Mind you I've had some caramel popcorn and I was fine.
 
But I think sometimes my carbs are just not that low and then the added sugar (like in the popcorn) doesnt affect me at all,makes me super tired but thats it.
 
I think when I am quite low carb and busy dropping weight fast,I cannot do sugar or a lot of fat.I think the Amarula like the Baileys have got cream in it and lots of sugar and boy did I feel sick from a tiny sip.I can drink a jin and tonic once in a while and if I sip it slowly and nurse it all night,I am fine.
 
So,sugary drinks,just like anything else sugary is now off limits.Thinking about it,I shouldnt really drink the tonic either as it is carbonated and even if you stir out all the gas,there is still some left.
 
One thing I am sure of.Alcohol will not be a problem in my future as it is as unappealing most of the time as ice cream,and I use to eat a pint of that per night pre-op.
 
You live,you learn.

I decided to do the surgery definitely to get down to a healthy BMI.. But in my mind I have this idea of some fit person crossfit training and so on and so forth. Then reality hits, I may not get the luxury of the weight loss I'm looking for.. I'm doing tons and tons of research on bodybuilding and 5x5 stronglifts (I really want abs) but in reality, is all of that even possible? Will I have the energy needed to guide my weight loss in the muscle building direction? Stressed because I don't want to be a skinny fat person. You know, weighs only 150 pounds but has like 35% body fat.. just flubbery. SMH. See, worrying about the wrong things. I have to continue to remind myself, just one day at a time. That's all. Set small goals and do the best you can to reach them.. I hope I'm not the only person stressing about this...

Well,this morning I weigh 175.5 pounds.I am soooo happy.
 
Ive started thinking about a couple of changes I have made over the last month and it must be these that has started speeding up my weight loss.
 
The most important one is I started taking high doses of probiotics.I really couldnt reconsile myslef with the idea of taking stool softners an dlaxatives for the rest of my life.I had to try a few different ones as some gave me heartburn but found one that I dont even think is multi strained it is just acidophylus.2 caps 3 times a day and when I forget during the day 3 and 3 when I remember.i open them and drink the powder with water.My constipation has all but vanished.I also eat more spicy food and whereas my tummy still complains when I do this too often,I think this is helping too.
 
Then,I have stopped using low fat products.I have 2 kids and I know they need fats and wasnt getting it.I have started adding generous portions of olive oil when cooking (dont measure and I use enough) every day.I have also started aming basic dishes like beef and chicken,cut into strips,rolled in flour with some parmesan cheese fried in a little oil.Now I was a bit scared in the beginning of the flour as I use to not add any carbs to my diet for the past few months.But because I dont put egg on the meat before I dip it in my flour mix,just a thin layer of the flour sticks to the meat and chicken,The thing is it is somsoft and tender cooked this way that I just kept on doing it.For the past 2 weeks this,along with wok fried onions and capsicums of all colours (a lot ot these) have been my staple.I have also not limited myself in the amount that I eat and I know I eat way more than 9oz per day.When I am hungry I have a few pieces.The carbs cannot be enough to trigger cravings as I have none.
 
Having said that I have eaten out about 5 times in the past 2 weeks.Thai pumpkin and chicken fritters,Indian curry,roast beef and gorgonzola,ect ect. i of course dont eat much and I am satisfied.
 
I have lost loads of weight just recently and I think the reason is I am satisfied faster because of the fats in the food.It does fill you up fast.I dont have cravings for anything.Added bonus my skin is not dry anymore and my energy levels are up.
 
Just one thing that is not the best thing...I also often drink cappucinos.This darned dolchi gusto machine is just an evil little thing,I cant resist the coffee.I have read just this week where a lady that posted about her 1 year post op said she found early on that caffine makes her lose weight.This is not why I am drinking the coffee though and I have started limiting myself again,some days.
 
Exercise,nothing for the past 10 days.Stupid but thats the way it is with me.I have an irrational fear of losing the weight while exercising way more than what I will be doing for the rest of my life and then regaining when I start doing less exercise again.I havent ever discussed this on here as I know everyone will differ with me about it but this is exactly what happened to me before.I will lose this weight as balanced as I possibly can and anyway,the moment I start running longer distances,this stupid fear really sits in the back of my head all day every day,thats why I stop every time.Crazy,yes,stupid,yes,real,for sure.But I do play squash and go to some pilates reformer classes,which is way less than an hour every day.
 
I am now 5kg's from my dr's goal weight for me and a BMI of 25.Seems unreal to me.

HI everyone,
 
next week will be 3 months of having surgery and I find myself without ENERGY, with no desire to do anything, not sure what the problem is but IM NERVOUS, I need to give my weight loss a push but can't seem to get ANY ENERGY at all.
 
My feet and hands are always cold too, not sure what that is all about either.
 
Does anyone have any suggestions for me ? Will see surgeon tomorrow and plan on telling him what it's going on.

I had my post op appointment today at exactly 3 weeks out. It was really nice to hear them tell me how great I was looking and that I was doing everything right!
 
Unfortunately, on my trup home, we stopped at Arby's and I got a Ham and Cheddar sandwich. I took the bottom bun off and began eating. I think I was too hungry and probably ate to fast... also, I might have not chewed it good enough... or it could be the fact that I had bread... Not sure what exactly, but all the sudden I got EXCRUCIATING pain under my ribs and back all the way across (same area as in front) and in my left shoulder. My husband asked me to rate the pain and I said 8/10. It was horrible!!! The pain continued for an HOUR almost. I began burping almost immediately, and soon, my throat felt like it was full. I was "sliming." I've heard about sliming, but it wasn't something I understood. It didn't make sense to me... It still doesn't really. All I know is that it is weird. After about a half hour I finally threw up a couple times and felt some relief, but was still about a 4-5/10 on the pain scale. I continued to burp... I suppose, making the bubbly nastiness that I threw up. I ended up throwing up 2 more times and all the sudden I felt completely better. I couldn't resist and looked at what I had thrown up. Surprisingly, there was't much food in it at all. It was slimy (hence "sliming") and foamy. Gross!!
 
As my doctor reminded me today at my appointment, if I were to ever throw up, I need to go to liquids for 24 hours so my eophagus can unswell and recover. Spiffy.
 
According to my Wii Fit weigh in, I didn't lose any weight. Sounds like that is pretty normal and my doctors were not concerned at all, so I'm happy. It will come.
 
I went clothes shoping for Christmas picture clothes and grabbed sizes 3x, 2x, and 1x. I skipped trying on the 3x in hopes I would be out of that size. (I can't stand tight clothes at all so I bought bigger clothes) The 2x's were too frumpy looking and fit funny, but the 1x's actually worked for me!!! I was SHOCKED!!! Depending on the shirt, I would still like to lose more weight to fit in them comfortably, but most fit great. That was a mini-success!
 
My birthday was yesterday so I feel this surgery was the best gift I could have ever gotten!! I got my life back!

The moment I say my hair is not falling out anymore,hands full come out.
 
The moment I say eating is now stress free and easy,I have a bad day...lol
 
Today was a bad day and counting the caramel popcorn I had at the movies (went to distract myself,ok,not...to eat popcorn) my calories was about 1500 for the day I believe.Wont know as I dcided not to track today.
 
That was at lunch time and of course it did trigger a worm in my head.For dinner I tried to be good,had 3oz of turkey breast and capsicum but an hour later I found some chicken livers my housekeeper had made with perri-peri and onions and I ate about another 3oz of that.Then I was on a roll.But,I stopped myself and have had 3 huge cups of tea with milk since then.
 
Funny thing is Stress really gets to me these days where as before the surgery I was tough.Really tough.My kids nearly fainted when they saw me cry a month or so after surgery as I am not,or was not,the crying type,ever!
 
I live thousands of miles from my family and when things go wrong there with one of them I feel so isolated and powerless.but what bugs me more is that I have physical symptoms that I can only think is stress.I am not sick but have a huge fever blister on my lip.My back and face for that matter have broken out in acne-like pimples...I look like a teenager at the moment.
 
Of course before we go home we always groom ourselves a lot and pretend we always look like this...hehehe.This time though,I am full of pimples,a fever blister,my nails are as short as they've ever been so no nice french manicure and my bras just dont fit.I am now a size 38 C cup but the problem is with a C cup the bit under the arm is too narrow to hide the jelly bits on the side of the boobs and under the arm so I either have to wear a bra that is floppy in the cup or one which makes the jelly bits show.I have gone out and bought an insame amount of clothes just because I am stressed about everyone seeing me for the first time.Stupid isnt it?
 
I have also developed this crazy pain between my shoulder blades and I am sure it is because my boobs are hanging the way they do.My little kid tells me my back looks like a moon so I've been looking for those posture support thingies.Problem is "due to higene issues madam" one cannot fit them and I dont have a clue which size I should buy.Also"due to higene issues madam" you are not allowed to return it.
 
Tomorrow I will smell the roses.My little kid is coming back from camp (was a little lost without her) and my friend from Perth is coming for a quick visit.I have taken control of my overly busy schedule.Have dumped the project of bringing a couple of guys that are on the streets in Brazil since been released from prison back to SA before christmas on someone elses shoulders (I will still donate the tickets) and the women I look after here in prison will have to wait till monday for a visit.
 
I also suppose I shouldnt use this blog as a sound board but should start up a diary again...lol.However,I do plan on reading this in the future when I struggle and posting some stressors on here now might help me handle future stressors and eating issues that might go with that.I will then have no excuses as this have been a super stressful year and people often say,life happened and I started regaining because of stress,yada,yada,yada! No excuses ok? No regains! No slipping back into bad habits because of life.Life is happening now too and one bad day will not kill me as long as I take control again the next day.
 
Should try and sleep more though as it is one thing I am not controlling very well.I almost never get to bed before 2:00am and that is bad for the weight loss.So,gallas,going to bed now.