luelesseglaceg

Betrayal comes from many aspects of our life. From friends, family, spouses and children. Everytime you are betrayed by people you love it hurts. So why with the band do you betray yourself by eating things you are not supposed to and in the long run feeling guilty and hurt by your decisions.
 
Life isn't always easy and we have enough stress without letting the band stress us more. It's supposed to help us feel better about ourselves not feel miserable.
 
As the new year approaches, stop betraying yourself with the band. Follow your instructions that you were given and even if your weight loss is slow, a pound loss is a loss no matter how you look at it.
 
I betrayed myself for years with tons of food, feeling miserable, feeling overly full and depending on food to get me through rough times. I stil have rough times, but I don't use food as another means to betray myself. I use it to make myself feel good by getting rid of the horrible self image I had when I was almost 300lbs.
 
Sometimes it's not easy dealing with problems without the comfort of food but I have learned to stop letting meaningless things get on my nerves.
 
Happy New Year with a new attitude about band life!

These are my babies!
 
Atticus, Black Mouth Cur. He is the biggest baby in town.
 
Hank, Blue Healer. Gill's dog, follows her around the whole time she is here.
 
Sophie, Dachshund. Daddy's baby (but he won't admit it) and the BOSS of all the dogs!
 
Bugsy, Rat Terrier and Dachsund mix. My baby, he is with his best friend Smokey the cat.

Is my band too tight? How many times do we see this question? A lot so let’s talk about it.
 
How tight you have your band is a personal preference. No one (including your doctor) can tell you how tight it has to be. This is something you have to decide for yourself. Personally my band is loose. The last time I had an x-ray my doctor commented that I didn’t have very much restriction. Oh well, it is what works for me.
 
I have had 2 unfills because I felt my band was too tight, but I know now that it wasn’t. So how do I know if my band is too tight? I ask myself these questions:
 
1. Can I get water/liquids down okay? If YES not too tight
 
2. Are my bites the size of a nickel or smaller? If NO not too tight
 
3. Do I chew my food at least 30 times before swallowing? If NO not too tight
 
4. Do I wait 1 minute between bites? If No not too tight
 
It appears that my eating habits cause me to think my band is too tight. When I eat correctly I have no problems.
 
My advice to anyone wondering if their band is too tight is, evaluate your eating by asking yourself my four questions.

Why should you feel guilty about eating something. Isn't that the way we used to feel before being banded. Over eating on Sunday before the start of your Monday diet. If you are eating something that makes you feel guilty then why over indulge and eat it.
 
This journey is about learning new habits not holding on to the old ones. Being made to feel guilty about any decision in life whether it is about food or anything else is a very bad feeling one should never have. If you are about to sit down and eat a chocolate bar or a piece of pie but after you eat it that guilt trip settles in, then why put yourself through that process over and over again.
 
One day I sat down and I was looking at my snacks for the day and when I entered them in on Spark People (because I like that site much better then My Fitness Pal) holy toledo, even though I was only eating a thousand calories for the day, at least 350 to 400 were in snacks. Not that the snacks were bad because it was 100 calories for greek yogurt, 170 for a protein bar and so forth, the guilt of what I ate snack wise floored me and made me feel guilty. I never wanted to feel that way again about food.
 
I don't want to feel guilty so that is why I do not eat high calorie snacks anymore. Some apple slices, craisins, low fat cottage cheese, hard boiled eggs and so forth. I keep my snacking calories under 250 so I don't have to feel guilty. I love anything with sugar but I can't eat it because I can't just have one and then the guilt settles in.
 
Pleasure should never be compared to guilt or associated with guilt. You make your decisions to eat things so why feel guilty. We have all failed at something in life whether it be having an aweful relationship with food, family, mates, children.
 
I don't want my eating life to be full of guilt because in all reality in this part of the game I am eating to fuel my body not fuel my mind on taste. My mind played enough aweful things in my life as far as my relationship with food goes.
 
Think before you eat and ask yourself "is this going to make me feel guilty after I eat it"? If the answer is yes then get rid of it. You don't need guilt to be in your life over something that won't matter in ten years.
 
TTFN

This seems to be one of the most popular questions in the forums. Weight stalling is normal but there are things that your body needs in order to continue to lose weight that some never think are important.
 
Sleep is a big factor in weight loss. You need a full 8 hour nights sleep in order to lose weight. Why? Because while you are sleeping your body is revitalizing its self and removing toxins from your body. When you don't get a good nights sleep your weight loss can slow down or stop completely.
 
Water intake. In order to help flush fat out of your body, you need to consume large amounts of water daily. 64 ounces or more. It also helps with water retention when you are drinking enough water.
 
Your bowels need to move. If you are not having bowel movements on a regular basis that is added weight that needs to come out. Take something to help relieve the constipation because protein causes constipation.
 
Stress. If you are stressing out over not losing weight you are only making it that much harder to lose any weight. Stress has been a key factor in no weight loss.
 
Salt intake. If you are eating a lot of lunch meats, soups, and other things loaded with salt you are retaining fluid.
 
Not enough protein. If you are not eating the recommended amount of protein and filling yourself with carbs then of course you won't lose weight. Protein is vital in burning fat. If you're not eating enough then your weight loss will stall also.
 
Exercising too much. If you are burning 800 calories a day exercising and only consuming 800 calories then you will not lose weight. Your body will hold on to every ounce of fat because you are not giving it enough fuel to function. Exercise in moderation about 30 minutes every other day. Your body needs a recovery period from exercise. You don't need to go to the gym 7 days a week to lose weight.
 
Lastly plateus happen and sometimes they last for weeks or months but this is not the time to throw in the towel. Its the time for your desire to lose weight to shine. Eventually your body has no choice but to drop the pounds it is holding on too.

Most people when dieting want to do everything fat free but I do not. Our bodies need healthy fats in order to funciton properly. I buy full fat mayo made with olive oil not the crappy mayo. I also use full fat salad dressings but only a small amount and yes I use real butter.
 
Fat free, well it does not taste good either at least to me. If I am eating a lot of salads I will buy the Walden Farms Italian which is calorie free, fat free and sugar free. I will use the Chipolte Ranch and Italian and the Balsamic Vinegar which all taste good to me. Some of their dressings are really blucky because how can anything taste good with no calories or fat in it.
 
I try to keep my fat intake to a minimum of 35 to 40 grams a day though. Your body craves fat and when you do eat it, it helps with keeping you satisfied. Yes I do eat a piece of bacon once in a while with eggs. I also on occasion take a teaspoon of olive oil, which doesnt taste so great but it does help getting in good fats and helps with hair and nails also. The benefits of olive oil are endless.
 
I don't believe in a fat free diet intake. We need good fats just like we need good carbs and large amounts of proteins for our bodies to work properly.

I see a lot of newbies asking what they can have during this or that stage of the pre/post op diet. Doctors give different diets to different patients; however the foods on the different stages are often very similar. Here are the 4 stages I had during my post op diet (straight from my post op paperwork):
 
Stage 1: Clear Liquids
· Water
· Broth or the clear liquid poured off of soup (strain out solids, no creamy soup)
· Black coffee (may be sweetened with artificial sweetener; preferably decaf)
· Clear juices (not OJ ~ it’s not clear); 100% juice (not from concentrate)
· Crystal Light
· Sugar-free Jello (with no solid fruit)
· Sugar-free Popsicles
· Gatorade/Powerade
· Herbal teas (caffeine-free)
 
Stage 2: Liquids
· All clear liquids
· Protein shakes (low-fat, low-carb)
· Fat-free milk
· Orange Juice
· Low-fat instant breakfast mixes
· V8 juice
 
Stage 3: Full Liquids
· All clear liquids
· All liquids
· Apple sauce
· Oatmeal/cream of wheat (thinned)
· Smoothies
· Low-fat creamy soups (strained out solids)
· Puréed soups/vegetables
· Low-fat, low-sugar pudding
· Low-fat, low-sugar yogurt
· Puréed fruit
· Low-fat ice cream/frozen yogurt
 
Stage 4: Soft food (aka Mushy)
· All of the items on the liquid food list
· Tuna/egg/chicken salad
· Well-cooked mushy vegetables (no stalk or crunchy vegetable)
· Thinned scrambled eggs (if tolerated)
· Baby food
· Soft, over-cooked pasta
· Soft canned fruit (in natural juice)
· Thinned mashed potatoes
· Soft sweet potatoes/yams
· Thinned oatmeal
· Greek yogurt
· Thinned low-fat refried beans
· Low-fat cottage cheese
· Soft/rip bananas
 
This is just what MY doctor had for ME. Your doctor will have different orders. I wanted to post this list to give an idea of some of the things on each list.
 
I hope this helps.

I have been having difficulties with my eating for about a week, I blogged about my lunch episode on Friday. When I say difficulties I mean, I’ve been getting acid reflex (first time since being banded) and I get a lump in my throat from time to time. I have been able to eat and drink, but it’s been more challenging.
 
Over the weekend I decided I needed to see my doctor and find out what was going on. Either I am being paranoid or something isn’t right.
 
So, I was on the phone to my doctor’s office first thing this morning and fortunately they could squeeze me in this morning.
 
Upon arriving I was escorted to the x-ray room. Martha (the x-ray tech and support group leader, who is also banded) said, “What are you doing here girl?”
“I’m either paranoid or something isn’t right”, she laughed and said let’s find out.
 
We did a barium swallow and as my doctor said, “It looks perfect.”
 
“So, I am paranoid?”
 
“No, you are aware of your band and something changed.”
 
“So what am I doing wrong? Why the acid reflex now?”
 
“Could be you irritated your band in some way or it could be that you need a fresher on the basics. Size of your bit, how much you chew, time between bits. Maybe you need to get that egg timer back out that we gave you at your first post op visit.”
 
“Funny, just last night at dinner my husband had to tell me to slow down on my bits.”
 
We talked a little more and I was on my way feeling so much better. End result is something wasn’t right and that something was me. I was slipping back into old habits.
 
It’s time to dust off that egg timer, cut my bits smaller and chew, chew, chew. Everything I tell newbies to do.

I know winter puts a damper on most when you don't belong to a gym and even if you do who wants to venture out in the cold, but there are ways to exercise and keep yourself motivated during the winter months. I have three walk away the pound cd's. The 1 mile, two mile, and five mile. I do the 1 mile in the morning because it's only 17 minutes and gets your day started, then I do the two mile at night. I also turn on the tv to one of the best music stations and dance the night away. When I was younger I used to go out dancing at least three nights a week and kept my weight down.
 
Take the clothes off your treadmill, stationary bike, or any other equipment you have and use it. Dancing burns a lot of calories. Use your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend and burn some calories.
 
There is no time like the present on this first day of January to get yourself in the exercise mode and get moving. Not only does it relieve stress but it makes you feel invigorated.
 
So who is with me to some good old hard working fun exercise? I am going to start today off with 30 minutes of heart pounding, good feeling, get me motivated for the day EXERCISE. COME AND JOIN ME.

And it is very easy to make. Here is my favorite recipe
 
Roasted Red Pepper Hummus
 
1 Can chickpea/garbonza beans (15oz)
1/3 cup tahini (See note below)
¼ cup lemon juice
2 Tbs olive oil
2 garlic cloves, crushed
½ - ¾ cup roasted red peppers
 
In a food processor, combine beans, tahini, lemon juice and olive oil. Process until smooth. Add red peppers and garlic until desired consistency.
 
I calculated the nutritional information based on ¼ cup serving:
Calories 154
Total Fat 11g
Sodium 190mg
Total Carbs 8.4g
Dietary fiber 3.2g
Sugars .9g
Protein 5.1g
 
Tahini is sesame seed butter. I find it with the peanut butter or in the international isle of the grocery store.
 
Enjoy!

I never thought the day would come, that I could eat and not gain weight but it has. I have been very strict with my lapband but did have some goodies over Christmas because I love to bake.
 
Waking up and stepping on the scale to see it not go up was a great feat in its self as I remember always gaining 10 to 20lbs from Halloween to the new year.
 
I cooked a lot of food for Christmas but I put so little on my plate of everything. A spoon full is satisfactory to me now not 4 helpings.
 
It's funny how things have changed for me in the aspect of food. I don't love it anymore, its just a need to keep living. It's what keeps me healthy now and not what makes me miserable.
 
Every time I ride past a fast food joint, I cringe. It somehow sickens me to think I use to like that crap. How eating a six hundred calorie burger with 3 days worth of fat in it made me happy.
 
I enjoyed my turkey this year because if I never could cook anything in this world, I make the most to die for turkey that is perfectly moist and seasoned all the way through.
 
My desert yesterday was some sugarfree jello with whipped topping and I enjoyed it because I got real whip cream to put on top of it.
 
I ate some chocolate and it really didn't taste so good to me because I haven't had sugar in ages. I don't eat sugar anymore. I hardly eat meat either but it tasted good.
 
Today I return to my journey of eating normal again and knowing I won this year it didnt' beat me.

I had my surgery on Friday and besides them finding a Hernia,went well.
I thought I would be so much more sore than this..the gas pain is no fun but can deal with it.
At what point will I start to feel "normal" again?

I am only a little over a week past my surgery..however the incision on my ride side is very sore.
I also feel a bump under it. Is this where the port is located?

My mother-in-law passed away yesterday morning on my birthday. She was 73 years old. Her and her husband live in Italy and are both deaf.
 
We got a call at 3 am on Thursday October 4th to tell us that my husband (only child) needed to rush home because his mom was sick and in the hospital and not expected to make it. This was the day before I was scheduled for surgery. He was on a plane that afternoon.
I decided to brave out the surgery alone and I am glad that I did. (no one else knew of the surgery except my 17 year old and my 11 year old boys)
 
What followed that day was almost 3 longs weeks of ups and downs until she finally couldn't fight any longer. She had literally never been sick a day in her life. She picked up the strep virus (streptococcus) and it turned into STSS and it literally attacked all of her organs until there was nothing left.
 
My mother-in-law was the absolute best grandmother in the world. Her eyes lit up like the sun when she saw her grandchildren. She would look at them with adoring eyes and hug on them and kiss them. They adored her too. I am just happy that the week before she got sick my 17 year old son was over in Italy visiting them. Her last days on this earth were spent doing what she loved best, being a grandmother.
 
I am happy that I had this surgery as it is my first emotional challenge to face without food. So far I am doing great! I just can't wait for my husband to get home so that I can give him a big hug!

I am 16 days post op today. I have a non-scale victory to report. About eight months ago I took off the diamond ring my husband bought me for anniversary last year because it was cutting off my circulation. Once I took it off I couldn't get it back on. I was able to slip it on last night and there it stays!
 
I have totally embrace this journey from day one of my preop diet and I don't hope that I will be successful I know that I will be successful.
 
I'm down 22.6 pounds.

If my day is really busy I will eat lunch at my desk and continue to work. This was the case today.
 
My lunch was meat & cheese rolled up and baby carrots, had this many times. So I’m eating and working….about half way into lunch I get the soft stop feeling. Okay, I stop. I then get the heavy chest feeling, something is trying to go down. This feeling stayed with me most of the afternoon.
 
At 4pm I made myself a cup of hot tea, black tea with cream & splenda (It’s the English in me). I’m sipping my tea and I get the soft stop feeling….hummm, never got that with liquids before. I wait a few minutes and take another sip, get the soft stop feeling again. This time it’s followed up with saliva building in my mouth.
 
TO THE BATHROOM I GO!
 
Yep, I pb’d that tea right up along with carrots (sorry if TMI). Well, I guess I got stuck at lunch and finally got it out 4 hours later…..
 
My Yellow Rose (my band) started talking to me after that & this is what she said, “See what happens when you don’t chew your food enough. See what happens when you don’t pay attention to what you are eating. See what happens when you eat too fast.”
 
Wow, wasn’t expecting that. But, hay it happens. Sorry Yellow Rose, guess I won’t be eating that Mahi Mahi I planned for dinner. ..
 
“Nope, I want liquids. I’ll teach you not to chew your food!”
 
So, I am having a protein shake for dinner.

I'm not sure what's going on, but lately I've been having trouble drinking water. I mean, of all things. Tomorrow I'll be banded 4 months, and this "issue" has been only coming up the last few days. My chest starts to hurt a little when I take several sips. I don't think I'm drinking any faster than I have been...?
 
My food intake hasn't been doing too well either. I'm not necessarily eating "bad" stuff (hum, those veggie chips can't be "that" good), but I am keeping track of everything. I'm actually not really eating enough overall. I get busy & don't eat. Then, at the end of the day (afternoon), I start to drag a$$ & get really tired. Sometimes even light-headed. Yea, I know guys. I know better.
 
I think I've just been so busy taking care of my parents (dad), running their errands, taking mom to get hair done (she's been going every week for YEARS), grocery shopping & now I even cook a little extra & drop it off.
 
I digress...
 
So, why am I having this discomfort when drinking water? What's this all about? I've always loved water!

Why is it when I'm highly stressed, I go towards junk food. I did great all day until this afternoon when I got home from my parents house, for the 2nd time today.
 
As you may know, my dad is in stage 4 cancer, and while he's been one helluva trooper beating this cancer shi*, it's finally starting to take it's toll. He's starting to feel pain more often so the pain meds are getting stronger & given more often. He still looks strong, but we know the inevitable.
 
Anyway, I had to call Hospice, his Dr, then check on him, then go back when the Hospice Nurse got there, and make an apt for him to go to his regular Dr tomorrow. Mind you, many emails & texts with my husband & brother in between. You get the picture?
 
With all these "excuses" said, I ate 2 (not just one) sugar cookies AND a few chips (which I NEVER eat)!
I was on a roll not eating "junk" food then I hit major stress & BAM.. back to the horrible habits!
 
Can anyone tell me.....Why, oh why do old habits die hard?

Yippee, yahoo!
 
I weighed myself this morning & there it was just starting at me. The scale actually started with the number "1". Let's forget the fact that the other #'s were 99.6. Who cares? It actually started with a "1"
 
It's probably been 10+ years since I've seen that. It felt so good that I even put on my size 18 jeans & they fit. A little snug in the tummy area, but you could actually tell that I'd lost 45 pds with them on. I actually had a male co-worker (who knows me well) tell me that he could tell I lost weight!!!!!
 
I'm excited & looking forward to hitting 190 in the next 6 weeks :-)

Ok, perhaps I'm being just an itty, bitty over dramatic BUT I'm literally kocking on onederland's door!!!
I weighed in at 200.4 this morning. Oh my gosh, I can almost taste onederland's. It's been years since I've been here.
 
I'm so excited. If I stand on my tippy toes I can see 199!!!

I was banded almost 4 1/2 months ago & have lost 45 pds so far. I haven't lost any weight in the last 2 1/2 weeks, but I didn't really exercise as much or eat as healthy as I had been. I'm not thrilled about it, but I'm not stressing about it either because I"m much more aware of what I eat these days. I still struggle with getting enough protein in, but I'm working on it...
 
So, with that said, I've done quite a bit of closet cleaning the last few weeks. I'm happy to say that I've donated A LOT of clothes to Good Will. Time to put all the over-sized clothes to rest.
 
I went to Dress Barn, and found myself, comfortably, in size 18 pants, and 1X shirts. Well I'll be damned if they didn't look pretty good on me. Hum... go figure. Since it takes me around 20 - 25 pds before I go down a size in clothes, I figure these clothes will last me a while.
 
My goals are now limited to 10 pounds at a time. I think this is much more manageable & it'll make me feel better about myself. I still have another 50 pds to go to make my goal, but it's OK. I'm enjoying the journey!

Anyone thats ever had a traumatic event in their life can relate to what I'm about to say. I spent a lot of time in the counselors office talking about forgiveness. Forgiving your abuser and those who supported the abuse, either by denial or by complacency is more about healing you than giving that other person anything.
 
I never once in this whole process ever thought about forgiving myself. I was watching a recent episode of Heavy and one of the counseling sessions was about forgiving yourself. There is so much guilt associated in childhood trauma, at least there was for me. I can honestly say that I have forgiven those involved, but I have never forgiven myself.
 
Part of this journey for me is to work through the reasons I turn to food for comfort. Part of my realization is that I have not forgiven myself; I did not allow myself to break free from my abuse because of the guilt. I feel responsible for what happened, because I didn't speak up, I didn't tell anyone, I didn't make it stop. Why didn't I? Logic sets in and tells me it was because I was only 2,3,4,5,6,7 years old but my memories are processed through my mind, an adult's mind. I am mature enough to know it is wrong..now! But then? I remember saying " this is wrong" and him saying " why?" and I couldn't answer him because I didn't know.
 
How could I not have known?
 
These are the things I am working through...it's not a sob story, so don't feel bad for me. It's just my reality, one that I've lived with my whole life. I'm working through it now. I have no choice because I can't consume large amounts of food anymore to avoid working through them ( thank god!)
 
I'm just telling myself every day that I have the right to what everyone else has and that....
 
It was not my fault! It was not my fault! It was not my fault!

I wanted to write this because I know before my Lap Band surgery last Friday,I spent months reviewing blogs. I really wanted to hear from patients who had the same surgery I was having,at the same place.
I had my surgery last Friday 12/21/12 and could not have been more impressed with the whole process.
Everyone was on top of everything,attentive and kind from the Pre-Op Nurses to the Doctors.
The overnight Nurses and assistant I had were so kind and had great attitudes every time I hit that beeper!
My one bad experience was the day Nurse on the day I was discharged...no personality and not on top of anything.
However how can I complain when up to that point everyone was so wonderful!
The staff there provides great care,are very specific on what needs to be done post-op and have not problem answering all the questions I asked.
I had Dmitry Nepomnayshy and he came to see me Pre-Op and was very nice.
So if your a Lahey patient and not sure if you should get this done there....you can relax and know they will take good care of you.

Hey, everyone!!
 
know that it’s been some time since I’ve been on here. The past year of my life has been interesting, to say the very least. I thought I should explain why I’ve been MIA for like ever.
Uhm...I suffered a major injury in March that entailed an epically dislocated ankle in 2 places (My talus bone, which connects your tib/fib to your heel, and also my tib/fib)
Because I clearly couldn’t work out or anything else, I had to think of creative ways to keep my weight under control until I was medically cleared to hit the gym again. I’ve got a pretty intense past with bulimia and I had been struggling with it for about a month or so prior to the injury, but I gave into the little voice inside my head that said to revert back to those habits.
Now then, where my Lap Band journey comes into play….
Once my ankle was healed and I was able to walk and start the muscle rehab process, I realized that Lap Band would have to wait until I got the bulimia under control.
With the help of therapy, I was able to do just that. I am proud to say that starting in January, I will be back to working on my Lap Band process and getting that done.
My fight with my eating disorder is something I will always struggle with but I know that I’m taking the right steps and I’m making the right decisions regarding my care for that.
So yeah…I tried to make this as short and sweet as possible so yeah…until next time..Byee!!

Someone said that to me today. I was back at work ...granted I was at home but I could do my job in a closet and no one would notice...LOL. Any way I was on the phone with one of my employees and she asked how I was recovering from my surgery... She doesn't know it's nature..but anyway I told her I was really surprised at how well I was doing albet I would like to feel a little less tired....but she said...well happy people get good results.
 
It got me to thinking.... And of course there are exceptions to this rule of thumb...but do you believe it?