jg9956

I started this journey ONE year ago and while I am still down, the last 8 months have been a serious struggle. Within 3 months following my surgery, I rocked it and lost 50 lbs. I was on top of the world, feeling great, looking awesome. In January, I suffered the loss of my business due to a fire and since then, it's been nothing but downhill. The stress of the fire, the community rallying to support me through it, being in the public eye and ultimately rebuilding in a location that tripled my sales, has been the most stressful thing I've ever dealt with. Yes, tripling sales is awesome but with that comes tripling bills, and more headaches. In that process, my eating habits have suffered. I have been working 7 days a week, 14+ hours per day, and then coming home to my two kids and trying to juggle. I'm not making excuses, or perhaps I am. I don't know what else to do. I was eating so healthy and really taking care of myself after this surgery but my old ways are creeping back into my life. My last fill was about 6 months ago and since then, I have been getting "stuck" all the time, choking, nearly vomiting and constantly having phlem and pains in my band from overeating. I'm resorting to food to deal with everything again. My band is so tight in the morning so I rarely eat, and then when it seems to open up, I overeat. I'm honestly admitting that I'm doing everything wrong and I just don't know how to get back on track. I think to myself, why did I do this? Why did I have this surgery if it just meant I would have to keep struggling to diet? I am aware that it's totally in my control,, but I cannot seem to get a grip. I have not weighed myself in a month for fear of what the scale is going to show. The last time I checked, I had gained back nearly 15lbs. I'm sure I'm more than that, just too scared to face it. I'm still squeezing into the same size jeans as my lowest weight, however, "squeezing" is the key word. I don't feel fabulous. I feel like going back up a size, but I refuse. I bought a treadmill 3 months ago, have yet to step on it. I buy healthy food options only to throw them out because they spoil because I choose junk. I'm totally embarrassed to see my surgeon, I'm so ashamed. Keep in mind that I'm a foodie, I own a Bakery...I'm around my downfall everyday. I struggle so bad. I even made my surgeons daughter's wedding cake! :/ Help! Where do I begin, what do I do? I feel like I've forgotten how to eat properly...maybe my band is in fact too full? Can anyone offer insight? And I'm not looking for tough love here, so please don't comment like a know it all who is successful because I've seen too many people on here looking for help and other people judging them and tearing them down. This is why I left this forum many months ago and I have struggled to even write this post...but here I am. It's become that bad.

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So, I've been away from this site for about 3 weeks or so. I went through a couple of stressful events that have sent me back to my old eating habits and I'm so frustrated with myself. I have been great at losing the weight and was meticulous about everything for 3 months straight. Then, as some of you know, a fire destroyed my bakery business and I've been dealing with the emotions and stress of that. Days sitting at home, on the computer and the phone trying to deal with insurance, customers that I had to cancel etc. It's been a mess. In this mess, we also had to find a new home, as ours had sold. Along with both of my kids getting sick and seeing Dr.s constantly, I've turned back to my old friend, sweets. I haven't indulged in fried foods or sodas or calorie filled drinks...it's been mostly cookies, chocolates and cake. My #1 weakness! Perhaps I was feeling depressed about the loss of my income, and perhaps I still am. I was consistently losing weight up until this happened. I lost 7lbs in the week following the fire, mainly due to running around stressed out of my mind, sick to my stomach. Then the week after is when I started filling my mouth full of sweets, gradually increasing my consumption daily. I gained back 5lbs. I decided yesterday that this was enough and the food wasn't going to help me get through this difficult time. I started back up with my high protein, low carb, 1 cup per meal "diet" so to speak yesterday. So far so good, BUT I'm feeling the sugar withdrawal and getting headaches. I'm utilizing every ounce of will power in me to not dip into the jar of peanut butter with a Hershey bar! I wish I never fell off the wagon because it is so hard to jump back on. I've been telling myself everyday for the last two weeks that tomorrow is the day...well, I'm here and trying to get back on track. I hate that this happened to me. I hate that stress does this to me. I have lost over 50lbs in 3 months, was feeling fabulous and now, even though I haven't gained, I'm feeling worthless again. I hope this passes quickly. I've been having pains in my stomach from eating unhealthy, overeating. This is how I know that I need to quit it. I'm not willing to hurt my body. I have my next appointment with my surgeon on Monday, I have mixed feelings about getting a fill. I don't think I need one, or do I? I think I would have been fine and not needed one if none of this ever happened. It hasn't been long enough for me to learn to de-stress in healthier ways. I wish I could, but maybe it's depression, I don't know. I don't feel like doing anything

I'm a pastry chef so I know where you're coming from. I find that if I just test a small bite and count the calories, I'm just fine. The key is to tracking it because u can mindlessly snack all day and not realize u just put 1000 cals in your mouth before dinner. I'm living proof this can be done, I'm proud to say. I still eat sweets, carbs etc and I'm around cupcakes and cakes daily -I've managed to lose 60lbs in 3 months. It can be done!

I drink just as I did pre-band as well. If I didn't "chug" so to speak, I would never get the recommended daily amount in my system,ever! However, I only have 1cc in my band. I have no restriction. I do drink most of my liquids at room temp though, they seem to cooperate better that way. I cannot drink anything ice cold, it feels like swallowing a rock to me. I also use straws, but I don't see the wrong in it because I have had continued success. I'm down 60lbs now in 3 months.

Thank you everyone! things are going as expected, taking it day by day. I lost just about everything and trying to rebuild ASAP, but waiting for insurance to pull through is like watching paint dry. I have a small policy which is limited but the community I live in has rallied tremendously with fundraiser, donations etc. it has been simply amazing. I've even had food network cake challenge competitors/reality stars in the cake world call me and email me with support, it's so crazy! Long road ahead, but I'm pushing forward. And you are all dead on about stress and the band being tight. I haven't been able to eat very much, haven't really wanted to either. I am down 7 lbs in 5 days. Even when I do eat, I can't eat as much so I've actually been eating sweets as to get some calories in the best I can. At least they slide through easily and I know it's not the best plan but right now I just don't have the time or energy to pay attention to the food or cook myself. Once things settle, I'll get right back on track. For now, I just do the best I can given the circumstances.

This isn't necessarily Lap Band related, but just wanted to let you all know that I lost my bakery business in a terrible fire yesterday. Everything is gone, but everyone is OK, no one was hurt. There were 3 other businesses in the building that lost everything as well. It's a tough time, handling this, trying to figure out where to go from here. My mind is elsewhere, not on the band, for obvious reasons. Hoping to get through this all quickly so I can move on. If anyone wishes to see photos, I've shared some on my business facebook page. www.facebook.com/cakeplacid Has anyone been through something tragic like this, and if so, how was your band in all of it? I seem to not be hungry, not eating as much. I don't want to be unhealthy but I just have no desire, I'm sure it's stress and I hope it can ease up soon. Thank you

Good luck with your surgery! You can do this, too. I was the biggest cupcake, binge eating, fried food, diet soda drinking person there ever was. And LAZY! lol, If I can do this, YOU can! Just listen to the Dr's, follow the rules, but don't become obsessed. Allow yourself some treats here and there, or else you will give up and binge. But that's just my opinion and what I do. I will never be able to give up the foods I love entirely. That is just no fun to me. I'm on myfitnesspal.com and that's how I track my foods, create recipes etc. My screen name is cakeplacid if you want to join and add me as a friend. Good luck and best wishes! It will be here before you know it!

Thank you everyone for your kind words Yes, I tend to lose in my face first....I didn't realize just how bloated my face was before! Yuck! I'm still struggling with energy, I'm so tired all of the time. I mean, I feel great, don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic! But still battling being very lethargic at times. Maybe not enough water? I take my vitamins, but not sure what is going on. I'll chalk it up to -20 degree temps and hibernating up here in the mountains of upstate NY. lol Thanks!

Thank you everyone. I guess I'm getting ahead of myself. They were so much perkier when I was fatter lol But I agree, one surgery rather than being disappointed if they sag more later on. I think I'll give myself one year, since I have to do it in the winter for recovery purposes with my business/job. I'm being optimistic that I will lose all of my weight in one year! Thanks for the advice!

I was banded nearly 3 months ago. I don't feel the need after losing all the weight for a tummy tuck or skin removal, but I would like a breast reduction. However, I would like it soon. I've always struggled with large breasts, no matter what my weight was or is. Even with 50lbs gone, they are still the same size, just droopier and heavier on my body. I considered this even before being banded. I just feel like at some point it could be a total burden on my back. I'm just wondering if anyone has had a reduction before getting to their goal? I don't want to be hunchback, not to sound silly, but it does run in my family.

Congrats! You look great

Sorry the pics are sideways! I don't know how to fix them! lol

Banded on 11/2/12, down 49lbs total. Lost about 19 pre-op (10 day diet) and 40 since surgery. I had one fill on 12/10 and that was it. I don't think I even really needed it, but it was small, 1cc. I've been to the Dr. twice since then and he has not wanted to give me any more fills, as I'm losing very well without them. I'm fortunate to not have any difficulties thus far. I read about people getting "stuck", not being able to eat certain foods, that's just not me, and I'm so thankful. It's as if I do not have a band at all. I keep my portions right around 1 cup, I eat around 1000-1200 calories per day, some days slightly more. I do not limit myself from sweets or carbs, however I calculate them and track them. I have not touched a soda, regular or diet in months. This is a BIG deal, I was like, 6 diet pepsi's a day a few months ago. I don't eat fried foods for the most part, but recently on vacation, I indulged slightly. Had a few Margarita's and some chicken wings...but again, I tracked AND exercised! I love the feeling of finally being able to eat the foods I love, just not a lot of them, and being Ok with it. I still have missteps, I'm not perfect. The fact that I own a cupcake/cake bakery doesn't help with my love of sweets, but I'm doing so much better. Instead of a giant muffin and a croissant for breakfast and a cupcake and a cookie in the afternoon, paired with a pile of fries, a burger and a diet coke...then dinner, oh my...well past 9pm...not good, NOW it's greek yogurt for breakfast, a high protein lunch and maybe, one cupcake a week or a taste of one of my new creations, or a small cookie. I eat something sweet everyday,but because I have to. I have to taste test everything I make that's new, and right now I'm testing superbowl and valentine's items. Nonetheless, I feel I'm finally winning the war against the fat and all the stupid diets I've spent so much money on over the years. I am currently knocking on wood that my success keeps going in the right direction. If I plateau, then I will adjust the carbs/sweets, but for now, it's working for me to keep it in my diet so that I do not binge. It's hard everyday, but seeing the results has been my motivation. Im in 16 jeans now (down from 22's) and my shirts are getting looser. Not loving the boobs, since they are not decreasing at all, but that's another story. Hoping to have a reduction when I hit onederland... It was so nice to go on vacation and dress up everyday because I loved the way I looked! Ok, enough of my bragging...lol. I'm just happy and finally ready to share it!

I'm a little more than two months out and just started exercising. I HATE exercising, and started it while on vacation in Florida. My theory was that I knew I was going to eat a little bad for my band, given the circumstances of being in a hotel without many healthy options therefore I needed to offset the added calories with exercise. Honestly, I feel so much better and am enjoying the feeling afterwards. I can't say that I will do this everyday but I will try to get in at least 3 days a week when I get home. Trust me, once you get up and make yourself do it, you'll feel do much better. You have to make yourself as hard as it is. Once you get past the first few days, you'll start enjoying it. It won't ever be something I LOVE but I know not exercising helped contribute to me getting up to 270lbs. I don't want to throw away all of my hard work of losing nearly 50 lbs because I hate moving my body for a mere 30 minutes a day. I spent way too much time and energy to make this banding process successful. I hope that you too can come to this realization. And perhaps as you drop more weight, you might be more inclined to get up and move. I honestly JUST started because I feel better about myself. You wouldn't catch me in a tank and spandex 15lbs ago, I was still embarrassed. I know strut with confidence lol. You'll get there, just keep eating healthy and it will all come together.