hopefull loser

In terms of your weight or appearance...what have been the doozies? I'll start with this one, it's a double wammy! Three weeks ago, DH and I visit his family. His grandfather sees my DH in his new outfit I got him for his birthday and sporting his new "do" that sort of gives him a bed head look. He says to me "If he keeps looking younger, people are going to think he's your son!" Mind you, my DH is 5-6 years younger than I am. I go home in a slight huff but try to figure it's just an old man not aware of what he says all the time, because he's never had a mean bone in his body that I've ever been aware of. I tell my mom about this and she says "ya...the more overweight you get, the older you're going to look." My point being...I know I'm older than DH. I know I'm fatter than DH. Everyone else that has eyes can tell both of those too, though the age thing might be just a tad harder ( evidently not after DH got his new hip haircut)...why did they have to say anything.... I'm going to go shave my DH's head bald and get him some used sweatpants and a sloppy tee-shirt to wear to family functions from here on out. Maybe then, someone will think I've had plastic surgery and that it's doing me wonders! Course, I think having this LB is going to make them start to shush about my weight problem. I'm not telling them I've gotten one....I'm just hoping that they'll notice my efforts. Now, help me find a few laughs out there. What have you heard that's been sort of "off-handed" or "back-handed" compliments? Lets try to make it more funny than bitchy if you can. I've got a few more that I'll post if this one takes off.

I have my day of consults and evaluations coming up in a week. From there, the surgery will be scheduled. My question. Since I've made the solid decision to do this surgery, I'm noticing that where I used to want to start a diet, and restricting portions, I'm actually doing the opposite. I'm telling myself that I'll soon be banded, so I can "wait" until then to start "paying attention." I'm not making a big deal to go work out, and haven't for a month. ( I finally went back yesterday, I think I've gained 10lbs!! I'm not checking. ) I'm usually good with a diet for a couple or three months, then fall off the wagon after a splurge and 10-15 lbs gone. I fall off the wagon pretty good too...in a sad way gaining most of that weight back. Then, I get geared up to finally figure it out for myself and start the diet again on Monday. Sometimes the Monday would come and I'd be back on the wagon, and sometimes, well...you know...maybe better luck next Monday. I've done this for 15 years. I'm 32 now. Is it sort of normal to relax so much about changing my life before I do something so drastic to change my life? Am I kidding myself that the Band can help? I worry about cheating the band. Is that normal? To be scared about failing this after failing so many other techniques to get to a normal size? Any help or advice would be appreciated.

I have always been on a diet. I just knew Jenny Craig ( w.w., atkins, etc) would save me from my chubby hell. I've been doing Jenny for three years...off....and on and off...and so on. I've successfully lost 20 pounds each time...then some vacation or stressful life-moment comes along and I'd be gaining it back...and then falling off the wagon completely and giving my frame more pounds to shed before an eventual "Monday" would find me back at the Jenny Craig center weighing in another "record high!" I had had enough. A friend told me she was banded recently and she told me of her success. I started doing research. I asked my husband to help me research having Insurance pay. We researched for two months and they would not pay. Once we came to the conclusion to self-pay, I made an appointment to get the pre-op appointments over with. Thankfully they were to be done in one day....but that day was two weeks away! For those two months and two weeks, I had many last suppers. My husband and I love to go out to eat so he was sweetly concerned that I wouldn't be able to ever have such'n'such again. I was anxious about my last supper syndrome ( I even posted here wondering if I was 'normal' too!) and that anxiety seemed to exacerbate it. I was so thankful to get on my pre-op diet. It was like a freedom that my doctor gave me to finally pull in the reins. To do it all over again? Hell, I'd love to say I would start my diet sooner, or try to 'watch' it until my banding date...but I bet I wouldn't do it... I'm a pro-dieter after this many years and the rules strictly state that in order to have a "monday" in which to start said diet, then there must be a Sunday night of "preparing" with the ceremonial last supper...If said Sunday preparation lapses past 11:59, it is considered Monday. Therefore, we must take all week and prepare better for next Monday when diet officially starts. hehe Let me tell ya...those two weeks before I started my pre-op diet were a lot of 'lasts.' Beer, Movie popcorn, Beer, soda, Champagne, thai food, Beer, sushi. In those two months and those anxious two weeks, I'm sure I put on 20 pounds. I shed the necessary 10 for the two week pre-op diet ( minimul cheating!) and am coming down now still on the two week post op liquid diet ( btw, not as bad as I thought it would be!). So, the lesson? I wouldn't have those 20 "extra" pounds to shed if I would have pulled the reigns in on myself. Very logical. Did I read this from other banders during my research process? yes. Could I have figured this out on my own? yes. Did it change anything? evidently not silly pants! 2 week pre-op diet, 2 week post op liquid diet, 2 week mushie diet, 2 week trial banded-but unrestricted diet, 1st fill...end of last diet I will ever be on. The rest is regulated portion sizes and I think it's going to work for me. I'm not bitter for those last suppers, I'm more excited about not thinking food is such a big deal anymore. If anything will do that, it's a pre-op diet followed by a couple of weeks of liquids! OK, this post was MUCH bigger than I meant it to be. I musta had last 'comment' syndrome! ha! wow...must be late too...it's all these liquids too...making my mind "mushie" ha ha ha....gawd..I need help!

Turkey bacon is also surprisingly good. Only good if you microwave it though, do not try frying it. It becomes really sort of airy crispy.

This is the best thread I've seen in a while....I've been cracking up thinking about it all day. My nutritionist says I can't have any substance post surgery that I couldn't suck up through a straw..... substance....through a straw.... :/

WOW alex, you're the first post I've seen about anyone tolerating bubbles! From what I hear, the pain is so excruciating, you'll think you're having a heart attack. I love beer, I will miss beer. But the thought of pain from a sip of beer and I get scared. I wonder if I'll ever give it a go. I'm probably hard headed enough to someday try it.

About two years ago, my MIL I 'guess' was trying to bond with me while future hubby and his brother and gf were along for a ride, lunch and shopping. MIL pulls my arm and drags me into a LB store and tells the brother's GF that this store is 'just for us.' Picture me mortified. I hate shopping anyway and she just made it worse. Now that time has passed, we can all three shop in LB. lucky us! To make some matters worse, this GF is now my SIL. I was recently chatting with her on a vacation and we were discussing our MIL. We both hate when MIL says we have anything in common with her( because MIL is pretty evil at times). My SIL tells me that our MIL says that MIL and I shop at LB, and that's what we have in common, but it's because we 'have to.' Ya...I'm pretty happy I'm banded....now THEY can have so much more in common soon when I'm shopping at the GAP and Eddie Bauer.

"am I limited to what can go in the stomach" huh? I hate to ask...but....wha?

I was scuba diving with my beer bellied Dad and a tourist group in Hawaii. The Dive Captain floated to the top as I was going to pack it up and be done with my dive. My Dad was still hanging out 20 feet below Water checking out coral and so on. The Dive Captain comes up and says "Hey, you've got to pop back down a few feet and see this eel, I swear, he's the size of your thigh!" So, I start to put my mask on, and I see my Dad pop up. The Dive Captain yells to him, "Hey, you'll have to come down and see this eel, I swear, he's as big as your waist!" Now, I know that eel didn't increase in size in those few seconds....but Dad and I still joke embarrassingly about that one to this day. We don't ever think that he knew what he said or how it could have affected me badly over the next few dives I did with that DC. Good thing I didn't take it too personally, I was too into the diving. big as his waist...sheesh!

My Dr. told me I'd never be on a diet again...after the pre and Post-op diets that is. I've met people with the same surgeon as me being told that they have to lose 30-40 pounds before they can get banded. I was told by my Dr. that I only had to lose 10. Perhaps you are at a weight that they consider just fine for liver size and so on, and so you do not have to do the pre-op diet. I've also met women that have had this LB done who were 200 pounds overweight and were not perscribed any pre-op diet. Post op diet though always.

Talking with a group of gals in the lunchroom about vegetarian diets. I admit I was a vegetarian for 5 years but changed my life after that and now include meat Proteins in my diet. One gal said "well, we're you thinner when you were a vegetarian?" Now, see, I just thought we were talking about vegetarianism...not my history of a fat butt. It IS possible to be an overweight vegan and vegetarian and carnivore and omnivore. I should know. I've been them all.

I have a similar situation with my MIL. We've never gotten along. When DH and I were beginning to date, he began setting limits in order to keep our relationship mature. My MIL is self-absorbed, immature, reactionary and attention seeking. She's had the martyr routine down for many years. We never do enough for her, never call enough and never see her enough. She's jealous and bitter. She is toxic. We are not her only targets. Before DH and I got married, we decided to seek some family counseling to describe our unique situation. We are both family oriented, so to have this stress with future MIL...well, it was going to make it a tough marriage with DH trying to figure out where he should plant his loyalties. The counselor we saw was impressed by a few things 1. That I didn't MAKE him go to this counseling session. 2. That we were trying to figure out a strategy BEFORE getting married 3. That we were wondering if it's just us being self-absorbed and not wanting anything imperfect to exist, or if we really are seeing things clearly. 4. That I wasn't sitting there pointing my finger at my husband describing what he won't do to set limits with his mother. I sat there and supported my future husband in trying to figure out what is normal to expect when he's a son and going to be a husband and how to balance the two. After the counselor heard us out for a couple weeks, she had a clearer understanding of what we were going through. She asked us if it was possible for us to move away from the future MIL. She stated ( and was correct in her assumption) that something rather devastating happened to my MIL in her younger developing years that stopped her from maturing emotionally past a 3-5 year old. Consequently, she acts like a small child. Everything is about her, and she pouts when guidelines are put in place, like calling before you come over and such. ( I thought that guideline was going to send her to the looney bin with the war she wanted to start over that rule)..ANYWAY I have WAY too many examples of this woman trying to get us to be her retirement plan, her psychiatrist, her best friends instead of her son and his new wife. We moved away. 200 miles away for a new job. This was the best decision as it's now created a solid boundary. We visit and she still irritates us with her disappointments and nagging....but now, we don't have to stay and listen to it. Also, the phone calls are down to 1-2 a week and DH is better at playing the game...the game of realizing that emotionally and mentally, MIL is a small child. You can't expect someone like her to change without a LOT of help and desire on their own part. A lot of what these crazy MILs do is to attract attention. You are best set by not feeding that energy. At family get-togethers, I move constantly away from my MIL. She's been nothing but hurtful and I just can't fuel that fire anymore...I'd rather fuel sexier fires with DH at home alone. My advice, invest in a few sessions with a family therapist. Take DH, or go alone, but get advice from someone that is exposed to family issues on a regular basis so you can be getting advice from a professional. I'm not sure who said it, but I totally agree that when a woman gives birth to a son, that he will leave someday to be with his wife. When a woman gives birth to a daughter, she'll have her all her days. We try to remember this as we grow as a couple, because one day, we'll have children and will have to remember what it felt like when 'mom' gets too nosey, too needy, and too destructive. We want to build up that good mommy/son karma, so we can be proud that we raised a man who can make it on his own with his own family.

I'm a groupie now! A fan of the band! Banded on the 14th. No pain in my shoulder, mainly gas type pains in my gut. The pain meds, and ibuprofen have been great. I feel itchy at the sites of incision and bruised in those areas too. They sting when I bend over. All in all in the pain department, I've been taken care of. I didn't want to eat for the first few days, but today is better. I want to keep my energy up. I've been around 500 calories the last few days, if that. Trying to stick to protein drinks and maybe one soup to keep my salt intake low. Getting in about 40-60 ounces of water and some yummy coffee. I'm pretty proud of how my body is taking to all these changes, because I was...well....nervous to say the least. Things I still fear.. -laughing a good laugh....and I'm a laugher -sneezing (I'm so blessed I'm not allergic to anything...but still, a little dust might make me do it..and I just think it's going to hurt like a sun-uva*****. -sex....I should have done a lot more of this before being banded...but I was stressed then and wasn't in the mood..and now I'm post surgery and not in the mood and fearing pressure and anything around my sites of incision. Poor DH...sorry to you all if this is too much info.... -forgetting I have the band while making DH dinner and tasting if my finger slides into the dish while removing it from the microwave...last night, I almost did this for DH's bean and taco meat mix. I would have freaked myself out! -my first bm post-surgery...haven't had it...don't want it to be scary but if I don't 'go' by tomorrow....I'm going out to get some more meds...YAY Anyway, I'm nervous and excited still...I just wanted to share my experience. Thank you all for being out there. June bandsters, I'm so glad I found you. We can walk this road together.

I love Nectar...it dissolves completely and tastes like lemonade, or peach...those were the two that I've gotten. 90 calories for a two scoop helping, so it's not calorie free...but it tastes great and has a lot of protein in it.

Super Dieter's Tea! You drink the tea at bedtime, and eat 'normally' during the day or follow their low cal menu. My results? If you drink the tea....drink it while sitting on the toilet, because you are going to have the clean-out of a lifetime. The tummy rumbling will wake you from a deep sleep too. Reminder if you're going to try this....sleep on the toilet as well. It has the same magical ingredients as any "Smooth Move" tea. The taste? Herby bile. The price? I want to say around 10.00. The results....well...I wasn't constipated! I also created a gentle fear of all tea bags that don't have a label on them in my cupboard.

YAY! I had my surgery three days ago! I lost the ten pounds they wanted to see gone. I have had minimul shoulder pain and that was only the first day really....and it wasn't bad. Getting comfy in bed was a trick but at this stage, that's easier too. I'm apprehensive about rolling over to either side because I can feel 'stuff' shift in there...and it feels 'oogy' I love that I can still have coffee. I love the pain drugs they gave me. I hate burping right now...I don't think that I ever noticed how much air I swallow when I drink or just going through the day. I can hardly wait to start using this tool as it's meant to be used....and I can't wait till a week is over and I can go to the gym and resume some eliptical walking while I watch TV. ( we don't have t.v. at home, so it's a push for entertainment as well to go to the gym!) Then, maybe in a month I'll start taking some of their classes like step and stuff.... I'm a bit excited!

I'm doing research on whether the LB is for me. I'm going for a seminar tonight in Everett WA. Has anyone gone there that can relay some of their experience? I'm so excited about tonight. I'd most likely be a self-payer. My main question today is how long does it take to schedule and actually get the band?

I was just banded three days ago. I'm totally happy with the surgery and their staff. My husband went to take me home and they let him visit in the back room with me until they were ready to walk me into the surgical area. I can tell you this...I was not expecting to walk myself into the OR...that was weird! My husband commented that it didn't feel like a hospital at all and he really liked that. He would have been more nervous in a hospital, but NWWLS has calm personality and they are welcoming to any support that comes along. I got lots of attention and they all laughed at my jokes. I had minimul shoulder pain and only on the first day. I walked every hour for 10-20 minutes, and did lots of deep breathing exercises. I felt pressure below my sternum like one big gas bubble. The next day, the shoulder didn't hurt, but burping does! not in a biiig way, but I'm hoping that feeling will subside, or that I'll get used to it. NWWLS called the next day to make sure all my bandages were okay and to make sure I was doing well on moving around ( to prevent blood clots and shoulder and gas pains) and staying hydrated. i was impressed, and I would recommend that center in a heartbeat. They also have monthly support meetings, so I'm going to keep going to those.

I was just banded two days ago. I can tell you I wasn't perfect on my pre-op diet, but I still lost the ten pounds that they wanted me to lose beforehand. I was pretty nervous about meeting that goal too. It was hard because I knew it would be a long time if ever that I'd be able to enjoy some of my favorite foods ( sushi, thai dishes with noodles, etc). I didn't go on any all-out binges, but like I said, I wasn't perfect. You will have to be perfect in your post op diet though. I'm two days in so not too far...and honestly, I think it's because of the surgery, that I'm not hungry at all. I'm really glad of that because of all of the self-talk I did to myself before the surgery. Even thinking of missing certain foods made me more depressed. I can see missing people, places, friends, and pets...but I felt pretty pathetic thinking I was going to miss having another sub sandwich in my life...or a beer....or champagne.... To rethink this surgery is normal and perhaps a very good thing. You will be certain that this is right for you when you do do it. I felt it was rather surreal from two days before the surgery until one day after...I wasn't sure I was reallllly going to do it. Looking at my pros and cons list, I knew that I had a limited choice if I wanted to get a stronghold on my eating disorder (binge-ing). Once I had it done, I couldn't hardly believe I had done it...now that I have five tiny incisions showing me what I did to myself it's easier to believe. Now I'm left with a deep seated hope that this will be the answer for my brain and body. That being said....everyone rethinks it, everyone's nervous and excited. Think about when you were making this decision for the first time and how resolved you were to have this done. Rely on that strength to get you through. I know I didn't want to have to need the lap band. I wanted to be stronger than needing or wanting a surgical answer to my problematic eating. I look at the Lap Band as a huge helping of "hope." I hope that this procedure works out better than I can dream. Follow your doctors orders after Monday for your post-op diets and talk to the nurses, doctors and others out there that have been through all of this. Good luck and let me know how your surgery goes. We'll all keep ourselves inspired! Deal?

Thank YOU MichellYo for your encouragement! I had my last supper of thai food, and an appetizer of spring rolls, and a thai iced tea the other night. It was my real last last last final supper. The next day, and subsequent few days, it's been 5 protein shakes a day and a Lean Cuisine or equiv. I cheated bad the first day, having an extra full meal. I cheated not so bad the second day with candy. (Hey, just trying to be honest!) The third day was yesterday and I had allll day with my husband...so no cheating. I think I learned a trigger! Privacy! Today is another day with the Hubby. He is outside mowing the lawn. I started to go through the cupboards as soon as he left the house....and I chose to make some iced tea and instead come read what ya'll have been up to instead of trying to find something to eat/sneak/pound into my body before someone notices. Thank you all for this forum. If it just helped me today, I'd be grateful, but it's helped me for three months to not feel so 'out-there' in my mind and in my body. 800 calories a day for the two week pre-op diet is something to get used to, my gawd! I'm also hormonal at the same time. This is NOT a good time for my DH. :myscared: But he's supportive and we're trying to laugh about it. I'm sure I'm supplying him with a lot of good material to bring up later when I'm feeling more like myself.

Thank you all for trying to be supportive of my question and struggle. I see I am not alone here when I originally asked my question, if what I have experienced so far is somewhat normal out there. I didn't mean to cause a battle over whether or not a pre-op diet should or should not be followed. I will follow my doctor's orders. I think my thread is unraveling. My date gets set tomorrow and so I'll be starting my pre-op diet most likely tomorrow. Thank you all for letting me know your thoughts.

It's nice to know I'm not alone out there. Thanks gals for your input. I have about a week until the pre-op diet starts. I don't mind thinking of it, whether it's for the shrinking of the liver or not...my mind is just trying to wrap itself around the concept of something actually working to help me lose weight, so I can conceive of conception! Keep up the responses, I'll check back for more support. I'm needing lots.

I'm curious. If you require a tummy tuck, yet are thinking of becoming pregnant when goal weight is reached, should you still get said TT? Would the skin stretching become an issue, or grow with you during development? Thank you for any candidness, Lori

Thank you all!

Will the LB permit me to scuba dive again when I'm able? I wouldn't want the change in pressure to cause problems. Thank you in advance!