Bama53

I’ve been wanting to do a blog entry, but then the website went all wonky. I’m going to try this today, and decide if I want to continue blogging or not. So far I’m not a real huge fan of the new site. I chose VST over the “other” WLS websites because it was specifically for VSG people; now bariatricpal mixes us all together again. Yes there is a certain amount of segregation, but now I find it difficult to navigate. I don’t really like the name even! I know people do not like change & I am one of them. I find myself less involved in the message boards because of the change. I am grateful that the change to the site took place when I was 5+ months out. I can’t imagine having gotten to where I am without the old board. Perhaps I’m ready to fly on my own now anyway.
 
I am down 85 lbs since the start of 2 week preop diet, and down 75 since surgery. I am wearing clothes from the back of my closet, and people are finally really starting to notice I’ve changed. Amazing to me that it’s taken this long for them to see! BUT in a way, I would rather not draw attention to myself in this way. I am ready to be at goal weight and having people just know me as a girl of a healthy weight so that they don’t feel the need to compliment me on my loss.
 
Some days are easier than others with the weight loss. I KNOW at this point that I could eat whatever I want. I have been very diligent thus far, and I am averaging a loss per week of 1.24%. I am occasionally tempted by the wrong stuff (i.e. “treats”) but I haven’t given in, and it is SO much easier since surgery to stick to a healthy plan I’ve devised for myself. I contribute this largely to having gone through detox in the time immediately after surgery. I’ve never been able to eat this clean for this long, and it feels good! I don’t look at it like a diet – that’s so cliché, but I have always WANTED to have a healthy lifestyle I just never had the control before. Now I know I have the control if I work it right.
 
If I am hungry, I just have to make sure I eat dense protein first so that I can feel restriction. If I do not do that always, I will have a hard time getting to goal. I can’t say that I track my food anymore regularly, and I don’t count calories, etc. I stay away from bread, rice, pasta, except for one or two days per week. I have for the most part foregone sugar and processed food. I don’t stress over things being low fat. My breakfasts are coffee and protein drinks, then I have a green shake (spinach, fruit, protein, avocado, almonds) mid morning, then some lean protein for lunch, then a chike protein drink mid afternoon, and a “lean & green” dinner – but it’s mostly lean protein and just a spot of green vegetable. I feel my green drinks keep my veggie intake up. Routine is key for me. I take my vitamins daily, and drink as much water as I can. I enjoy sugarfree popsicles in the evenings. More than one. Sometimes I wonder if that’s a problem. They are essentially frozen crystal light, but am I playing into old behaviors by going back for several per evening? Yes I am still seeing weight loss but I want to change 40 years of bad habits, so I wonder about eating several of ANYTHING. I will ask my NUT tomorrow when I talk to her.
 
I had bloodwork done and saw my endocrinologist yesterday. He said my iron is slightly high and my blood pressure is slightly low. The episodes of feeling worn out can be blamed on the low blood pressure. Even when I was 85 lbs heavier my blood pressure was on the low side, so you can imagine how it is now. I’m a bit of an anomaly in that way. So I get to indulge my salt cravings, and I need to make sure I stay hydrated even that much more!
 
I fully intend to get to goal. I have yo-yo’d in the obese range for several years now. I’m now beginning to enter territory weight-wise where I haven’t been in 10 years, so I am really beginning to feel different. It’s fun and exciting and a bit scary. But I want to do it anyway – I want to lose about 59 more lbs.! And, 2 lbs from now and I will be merely overweight and no longer obese. That’s cool!
 
I never lost hair, and I figure I’m in the clear. I’ll say it again: I never had hair loss! I will be at the 6 month mark in a week, so I pretty much figure I’m in the clear!! Yay! I had accepted that as a side effect long ago, but lo and behold it didn’t happen to me. I am thankful, but I would have dealt with it. I just didn’t want to cut my hair, because I’ve been growing it out for years. I got my claories up to 900 to 1000 fairly early after starting real foods, and I think this helped me hang on to my hair. I have half a small avocado in my green shake every day, as well as almonds. These things are high calorie but are “good fat”. And good fat is good for the hair and skin. So far excess skin isn’t horrible, but I know I won’t know until I get there how much of an issue it will be. I won’t get plastics though – it just looks too painful! And I hope that after years at a healthy goal weight perhaps the skin will go back to a reasonable shape.
 
All in all I am very happy with how this is turning out! I knew immediately after surgery that I just needed to get on with living a new lifestyle and that as time passed I would see results. And I am!
Onward!

So things have been going pretty well. I am getting one or two 30 min walks in every day and sticking to the diet. I was down to 229 lbs. this morning, the first time I have been under 230 for months. I was feeling very positive. I headed for Walmart for a few groceries. As I was entering the store, sitting on a bench in the entry area was a 30 something woman who appeared to be having trouble breathing. She was extremely obese, likely over 450 lbs (I can reasonable make that guess because I had an aunt who weighed that much and was about the same size). As a nurse, I was concerned for her and I asked her if she was ok. Through her difficult breaths, she indicated she would be ok and she said "I'm waiting for an electric cart. I just walked in from my car." I was stunned and felt a fear I hadn't experienced before....I could be experiencing those same symptoms if I don't take care of myself. Funny how I don't think I was ever afraid of being overweight before. It didn't interfere much with the things I do, but did I only do the things I was able to do, not everything I could do? That is a thought I am going to give much attention to as I go through this journey.

OMG! What did I do! That was the first thing I asked my self day 2 post op! By day 3 I was telling myself this was a big mistake! This is not what I signed up for! What happened to the 3 day recovery and back to normal in a week! What happened to this is the least evasive! 1 out of ten have a problem...hmmm I should have known I would be that 1 in ten that would have a problem! Post op I was on my 5th day not able to take in any liquids without throwing up! OK this is not normal!!!! Let me call my doctor...hhmm OK sip slowly???? I was furios is this women seriously telling me sip slowly! 4 months of appointments and classes and test and research I know to sip SLOWLY!!! Ok forget this off to the ER need to let them know how thirsty I am! Finally someone listening to me so I'm dehydrated weak my lips are so sore and dry and chapped and I'M SO THIRSTY!!! Please just help me drink again!! So they drain the band and give my fluids...awe ice chips they taste as good as a super supreme pizza! I'm now addicted to ice chips and cranberry grape juice ! Nothing has quenched my thirst more than the taste of cran-grape juice!

I was bad with my dinner last night. But I loved every bit of it. Today is another day and I will be better. I did not over eat, I just ate the wrong things. I had 3 coconut shrimp, great bread dunked in oil and cheese pizza. The local restaurant has a great football special when the N.E. Patriots play. Yes they won!!!
 
On one of my other WLS groups one person spoke of her friend and by pass. The woman had by pass about 10 years ago and was doing great for a while. She is now in the hospital for revision. She stretched out her pouch and when the doctor went to sew her insides it was like cotton candy, her words not mine. The woman is on ice chips for a few days and in the hospital for at least 10 days. If that doesn't scare the S**T out of you, nothing will.
 
​I never was a drinker. In fact the last frozen Girl Scout cookie I had I broke out into hives and never had a drink since. That was over 15 years ago. So drinking was never anything I was going to miss with my journey. I never liked fast foods and yet I was and am obese. Fast food was always a comfort food but not for me. Give me bread and more bread, ice cream. I now have bread in restaurants and maybe once or twice a month in my own house.
 
I think we all went into this new journey to get healthy, be thinner and move our bodies that were just sitting around. No one forced us but we need to be smarter with choices. Like CG always says, Listen to your doctor!! Listen to your dietitian and finally listen to your body.
 
Have a great week. October is tomorrow and before you know it Halloween. I only buy candy I hate and I hate more candies than I like. I never had a problem with buying candy. Yes, I hate Snickers!!
 
Arlene

Good afternoon.
I am watching the Doctor's on tv right now. They just had on a couple that had by pass surgery together. In a little over one year she lost 95 pounds and he lost about 190. The wife said it is a tool. She is right. I hope they keep up the good work. The Doctor's gave them a year's membership to a fancy health club/gym near them. That helps.
One of the doctor's said that WLS is not for everyone. He is right. We know that because of the mean bashers. Maybe bashers need to look in the mirror and blame themselves for messing up. (see I can use nice language).
Enjoy your day.
Arlene

I've found that in the 4 weeks since I've had my surgery I am obsessing about how much weight I'm losing. I'm losing a decent amount, but I want to make this work so badly I've forgotten about patience.
 
Patience hasn't always been a virtue of mine, but I'm thinking this is something I'm going to have to work on. I didn't get fat overnight. It happened over years and I'm expecting to lose so much in months. Don't ge me wrong, I still think its important for me to have goals. I just need to be realistic.
 
This is not a sprint to the finish line its a life changing marathon, with hills, valleys, and bumps. I'm really appreciating the people on here who are so open and caring to give me good advice and help keep my mind straight and help me realize what's happening with my mind and body is normal.
 
Today, I am going to stop worrying. I will follow my Doctor's instructions and walk through my journey, so hopefully one day soon I will be able to help others.

so i read the following words today on Facebook no less.. but they made me stop and pause....
 
A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"
 
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
 
She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
 
She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."
 
Remember to put the glass down.
 
They are certainly words that should make you pause and think.. what is it that i carry with me each and every day .. Yes i should look to the future but today it's here and now and if i can just learn to live in the moment knowing i'm doing the best i can shouldn't that take care of everything? Knowing that each food choice is as healthy as it can be in that moment of choice that we should just accept each choice for what it is and move on to the next not dwelling on why did i's? I've spent so much time on the why did i's that it became natural for me to start on the well why not one more can't hurt... for me it's time to put the Glass down.. accept that on occasion it is ok to feed the wild side.. but to also accept the fact i need to feed the smarter healthier side a little more often..

So here i am 4 day's post op and feeling pretty good considering.. hunger is controlled with little to no food.. first time EVER i'm sure this is more a result of the swelling more than the band but if its a good indication of what's ahead and how i'll manage life will be good..any way i digress .... my daughter and her friend had decided to go into town for some much deserved frozen yogurt.. not sure what they did to deserve it but when her friends barely one week old new to her car would not start after she came by to pick her up the look of disappointment was more than this mom could manage so while the dad's tried to figure out the car issue... she agreed and is blaming it on the med's she's not actually taking any more.... to allow her daughters friend to drive her car into town and get some yogurt.. and went with them again "insert meds".... the drive into town was mostly mom change the IPOD no not that song.. geeze mom it's still on repeat to crap there goes my shake all over the floor of my car.. i was surprised by my TOTAL lack of interest in anything at the frozen yogurt place.. the journey home was much more quite but a lot more bouncy having taken a different route home.. Lesson learned those important decisions they as you NOT to make immediately post op.. perhaps they should extend it to the weekend i survived it was a trip.. but i'm glad it's over... heart back in chest.

It has been a while since I logged in here. But Almost 3 years later I am 6 pounds from goal weight of 140 and I have lost 100 pounds! I lost 68lbs in first year and 20 lbs each year thereafter. I have not worked out so would have been faster if I did that! But went to see Dr Rantis today and band position looks good! I have a 10cc band and it is filled to 5.25ccs and no more restriction needed! I am a size 6 and it feels great! Foods that have been eliminated from diet are Soda and Soft Bread. Everything else is eaten on strict portion control! This has been the best decision I have ever made! I have had no health or complication issues and blood work keeps coming back good. I am starting a home workout routing - Jullian Michaels Body Revolution to tone up. I have the occasional times that I eat too fast or dont chew enough and I get stuck but I have managed that pretty well by now. So for now, I am very happy and hope to reach my goal weight very soon and get back into shape!