angelize

a heavy woman comes into my job today,a reg customer who hasnt seen me in awhile. she starts telling me how great i look and how i lost so much weight and asking what i did,so i tell her i had lapband surgery in october.she then tells me how she had lapband 2 yrs ago!
my first thought after she tells me that is....that'll never be me...until i stop to think for a minute and i realize...that can very easily be me!
like everyone says...until you have a fill,this is just another diet.
the woman was telling me that she hasnt had a fill in over a year and prob ended up stretching her band by eating unhealthy and overeating.
what she said had me so worried....i have not had a fill yet,not for lack of trying but due to nyu still not up and running after the hurricane.
and ive noticed that while i have restriction all day and can barely swallow anything for breakfast and lunch...by dinnertime all my restriction is gone and i have to remind myself not to overeat!!
i work 40 hrs a week and have been very active in work...so active that i dont have the energy to exersise when i get home...which is prob why im not losing much.
im still losing,but very slowly....
i know that eventually everything will click into place and i'll find my sweet spot...but until then,its very frustrating!!

If my day is really busy I will eat lunch at my desk and continue to work. This was the case today.
 
My lunch was meat & cheese rolled up and baby carrots, had this many times. So I’m eating and working….about half way into lunch I get the soft stop feeling. Okay, I stop. I then get the heavy chest feeling, something is trying to go down. This feeling stayed with me most of the afternoon.
 
At 4pm I made myself a cup of hot tea, black tea with cream & splenda (It’s the English in me). I’m sipping my tea and I get the soft stop feeling….hummm, never got that with liquids before. I wait a few minutes and take another sip, get the soft stop feeling again. This time it’s followed up with saliva building in my mouth.
 
TO THE BATHROOM I GO!
 
Yep, I pb’d that tea right up along with carrots (sorry if TMI). Well, I guess I got stuck at lunch and finally got it out 4 hours later…..
 
My Yellow Rose (my band) started talking to me after that & this is what she said, “See what happens when you don’t chew your food enough. See what happens when you don’t pay attention to what you are eating. See what happens when you eat too fast.”
 
Wow, wasn’t expecting that. But, hay it happens. Sorry Yellow Rose, guess I won’t be eating that Mahi Mahi I planned for dinner. ..
 
“Nope, I want liquids. I’ll teach you not to chew your food!”
 
So, I am having a protein shake for dinner.

I had an appointment for a fill yesterday I am 163.7 Not bad i am about 13.7 away from my goal of 150. He commuted on my great ab mussel he said he could feel them the problem was that they were covered up with alot of skin and said it time to talk about plastic. He said normal he waits one full year but in my case since i am so active he did not think he had too. My main probelm is my upper arms the skin rubs every time i move my arms and is very ichy and i have a nice little rash. It gets worst when i sweet so i would relly like to have my arms done.
 
I am going to Fl for 3 weeks in Jan and I just relized i have no summer cloths my shorts were a 14/16 along with my swim suits and now i am a 8/10/12. I guess i have to go shopping down there and pick up a few pair of shorts.
 
I have now lost 75% of my exess weight he said the last 25% will be the hardest he said that alot of it is Skin and till that remove it might be hard. I landed up with a fill. I also saw the great fellow who took care of me in July when i got too tight because of kindeny infection and then prolapsed my band. She said I gave her a very interesting first week . She also commited on my port sticking out now so it not hard to find when she last got it she had to go under floro to find my ports she said nope now you so skinny i don't have to even look for it.
 
I also found my hip bone. This is huge I was laying on my side and i felt the bone I had no idea what it was but then relized it was bone.
 
I look at how my life has changed I could not walk up my own stairs in April and now I teach Zumba and I work out all the time. I have a new creeer as a personal trainer / group exercise teacher and I would never been able to do any of this with out my band. I love my band and I am very thankful for this chance to live my life.

At work today I overheard two coworkers talking. They were talking about ME and my weight loss. Now these two ladies are quite overweight themselves. Just saying so you get the picture…
 
“I can’t believe her” “She is always bragging about it to everyone who walks by”
 
I casually walk over to them.
 
“Ladies I couldn't help but hear you talking about my weight loss. I have lost a lot of weight over the last 9 months and people notice that. Often people will ask me what’s your secrete? or How did you do it? When they ask I tell them my story, and if telling my story is bragging then guilty as charged!”
 
I then turned and walked away with my head held high and a big huge smile on my face.
 
Now I happened to be wearing my new fuchsia pink skinny pants and my grey high heal boots that hubby said made me look sexy! (Fashion note)
 
I though should I be pissed? Nah, I’m happy!!!
 
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands (clap clap)
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands (clap clap)
If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. (clap clap)

I am 16 days post op today. I have a non-scale victory to report. About eight months ago I took off the diamond ring my husband bought me for anniversary last year because it was cutting off my circulation. Once I took it off I couldn't get it back on. I was able to slip it on last night and there it stays!
 
I have totally embrace this journey from day one of my preop diet and I don't hope that I will be successful I know that I will be successful.
 
I'm down 22.6 pounds.

So I'm a little slow......just figured out how to create a blog. That's what I get when I only access LBT from my phone & tablet. There are a lot of features that you don't see on the mobile app. Alex we need to be able to update our status, reply to other statuses and access blogs on the mobile app. (Don't think he heard me.)
I don't do Facebook or twitter so I'm not sure how stuff like this works, oh well I'll wing it.
 
I am amazed at how far I have come this year. January I was in the biggest depression, I hated my job, I hated myself, honestly I disliked my stepdaughter greatly. The only thing I liked/loved was my dear husband. I went to the doctor for my annual physical and got a huge slap in the face. I was on 3 different high blood pressure meds and my blood pressure was still high and on top of that I was diagnosed pre diabetic. I was so upset after that appointment that I stopped at Starbucks for a large Java chip Frappuccino. That solves everything.
 
The next morning driving to work I heard a radio commercial for True Results and the Lap Band, I started doing some internet research as to what the Lap Band was. Talked with my parents about it (my dad is a retired MD so his advice is gold when it comes to medical stuff). My dad researched some and gave me his blessing on doing the Band. My initial appointment with True Results was the second week in January, my surgery was February 7, 2012. Basically three weeks and it was done. I had no time to reconsider. (That’s the difference between self-pay and insurance)
 
It’s funny I didn’t know about LBT or that different doctors had different diets all I knew was what my doctor had me doing, so I did it. I followed the doctor’s orders; I was losing weight and really knew nothing about the band lifestyle. Then in June I found LBT and started reading. Wow there was so much I didn’t know. I read every post I could find, quickly got Jean’s book and read it. Within the month I felt I had a much better understanding of what I had and how it would work for me.
 
Now here it is October, 9 months later, and I’ve lost 65 pounds. Wow I can’t believe I have done so well. I look in the mirror and often don’t recognize myself. I have no regrets at all, even if the future brings complications with the Band. I love this little tool, my Yellow Rose of Texas.

I am one of these planner folks and numbers people. It annoys the crap out of some, but that is how I am wired and work the best.
 
These days I plan my day out each morning. M-F I eat my Special K breakfast at 5:30 am, I get ready for work - pack my lunch and snack. Once I get to work and get settled in, I normally have a few min that I can get on MyFitnessPal and log breakfast, snack, lunch and what I plan to fix for dinner. This way I know exactly how many calories I am PLANNING to take in that day. If we are going to have something like pizza that night I PLAN that in and also PLAN in a workout.
 
If I plan out my day like this I am much more likely to stick to it than if I just take it as it comes. I am like this in everything. At work I have a color coordinated calendar and my box of color highlighters- People think I'm nuts but it works for me.
 
I believe that we all must have some sort of a plan in order to be succesful, if we "fly by the seat of our pants" we often end up somewhere we don't want to be.
 
Just like when going to the market. I sit down before going to the grocery and write out everything I need (I preplan meals for the coming week). When I go to the store I don't allow myself to browse, I get what is on the list and keep truckin. This prevents me from buy those little extras that will derail me and it also saves time so when I get home I can work out.
 
We plan vacations, meetings, appointments, ect to make sure we get in what we need, with the band it's no different. I you make a plan and post it- for me it's in my handy dandy smart phone (the hubs and I are total tech geeks), but some may stick it on the fridge; either way if you have a plan in place you are more likely to stick to it and be succesful because we hopefully don't plan for failure.
 
So today I encourage to make a plan and stick to it.

Tomorrow marks 1 year since I started my journey. Oct 12, 2011 was the day I walked into my Surgeon's office and introduced myself and told him I was ready to make a change and a life long commitment to myself. I had at this point been researching the band for about 6 months off and on and had attended an informational seminar a month earlier. That day I was weighed in at 488lbs and they took all sorts of measurements and pictures along with a thorough physical. They sent me on my way with no promises of surgery until I met all the requirements and criteria. One of those requirements was to lose minimum 5% of my weight. They explained the need to shrink the liver for a safe surgery.
 
I hit that 5% goal which was 24lbs in less then two months. Weight Center was surprised and impressed but I told them that losing is not hard. Keeping it off is hard.
 
I was also given a laundry list of testing that had to be done along with meeting a 3rd party Doctor who had to clear me for the surgery. Also on that day I met with the in-house Nutritionist and was given a pre-op diet to follow along with a schedule for Nutrition classes. It was at that appointment they confirmed I needed to complete a 6 month mandatory monitored diet due to insurance policy.
 
November 28, 2011 the first Monday after Thanksgiving I spent a good chunk of the day at the hospital for the following tests
Upper GI
Abdominal ultrasound
Cardiac Echo
Chest X-ray
EKG
Blood work

On December 1, 2011 I returned to the office for a Psychological Evaluation and another follow up with the Nutritionist.
 
Between January 9, 2012 and February 13 I attended a 6 session (we met once a week) class called the Hungry Head. Hungry Head program is to help one distinguish the differences between head hunger and real hunger and to develop skills to manage urges to over-eat. This class also allowed me to meet my mandatory requirement of attending 6 pro-op Support Meetings. I found this class to be an eye opening experience and it really allowed me to take a long honest look at myself. I was a binge eater. I would plan binges. I would go to the store on the way home from work and buy soda, cheese its and ice cream. I would finish a meal and wonder when and what my next meal would be. Eating in front of t.v. was just plain bad for me.
 
 

I am the one in the Patriots shirt standing with my Dad. We were just wrapping up a fishing trip. This picture was taken in August of 2011. I have no real idea how much I weighed in this picture but it was taken two months before my consult appointment in October. So if I wasn't 488 here I was darn close.
 

This is a more recent picture. Weighing 364lbs down 124lbs.
 
I seems like it took forever to get to Surgery day but wow what a fast year it has been. It was well worth it..wait strike that! I am worth it and I would do this again in heartbeat. Even at 364lbs I have a new lease on life and it can only get better from here.
 
If you read this far I thank you i know I tend to ramble. I will close with a quote posted by Chris Powell from ABC's Extreme Makeover: Weight loss Edition
 
"You will never change your life until you change something you do daily". - John Maxwell
 
Words to live by and I'm still trying....

Well once again I was in bed about to have a long visit with the sandman when my nagging conscious made me get up and come write my blog. Its officially been 4 weeks since surgery!! I am down a total of 25 lbs since I started my pre-op diet! And a total of 32 since I started this process in February. Woo hoo. I had two doctors appointments today (I'll get to those in a min) and was thinking to myself in the elevator on the way home after the second one, how lucky I was to be in the situation I am in. If you had told me this time last year that in a year I would have my band and be on my way to being happy and healthy I would have said yeah right. I just hope that my success continues and yes I know that I am the one who controls my destiny. As my clinician said today, I am the boss of my band not the other way around.
 
First visit of the day was my surgeon's office, which I have grown to not like the office staff. The nurse practitioner make a crack about all of my emails when I was going through all of that extensive gas pain. Doesn't tell me much of anything and even has the wrong information, she starts talking to me about my gastric sleeve. Then she realized oops, I have the wrong chart. She also stated again that I had 0 cc inside my band. I am just glad that I do not have to deal with that office anymore. She gave me my release that turned my care back over to True Results.
 
I get to True Results for my first fill and have to say that I was really pretty nervous about it. I am a big whimp when it comes to pain but I had read from several people that it wasn't anything bad. They did like any other doctor's office, weighed me, took my vitals, asked how I was feeling and then left me in the room until the clinician came in to do my fill. She walked in, her name was Linda and we got a long really well, we had each other cracking up. She asks if I want to be numbed I said heck yes. She stuck me about 5 times (which didn't hurt) to numb the area and I have to say pretty quickly I could only feel the pressure of her pushing down but not the actual feeling of it, if that makes sense.
 
They located my port by feeling around and I have to say it was pretty cool/yet kinda gross to be able to feel it. Once she found the top of it, she tried accessing it to test to see if any fluid was in there. I told her that the surgeon's office said there wasn't any. Another nurse had to come in and help since my port was being stubborn, she said that my port site was still pretty swollen from surgery and deeper than she thought it would be. But guess what...I had 1.5 cc in my band!! I am not really upset with that because I can't imagine how unbearable the past few weeks would have been without any restriction, I would have been eating the walls. This also means that my stomach and liver were really small when he got in there, because he said he doesn't do fills if the area is really tight around the band. So double score for all of that liver worrying. However, at the same time I am just mad at my surgeon's office for giving me wrong information. I am officially filled to a 3.5 cc in a 10 cc band. I had to wait in the waiting room and drink a cup of water to make sure it went down before I left.
 
I can say I could tell a change pretty quickly, and I've had some issues with gas pain tonight. I think that this is from me needing to take EVEN smaller sips of things. Part of the problem is that I am dying of thirst, or feel that way and just want to chug a bottle of water, but that would cause A LOT of pain. So I have just been taking more and more sips. According to the target track True Results put me on they would have liked for me to have lost 3 additional pounds, which would have meant 14 total from the date of surgery. But everyone was happy with what I had done. However, my next target is another 16 lbs lost by my next fill which is scheduled for 11/6. I am going to increase my working out even more and make sure I am cutting back on my carbs and making sure I behave on the weekend. I haven't been crazy with them, but going to reign them in some more.
 
Oh, I emailed the nurse practitioner at the surgeon's office and told her they may want to update my chart to reflect that I did in fact had 1.5 cc in my band post-op. The lady had the nerve to write back and say, "not necessary." WOW!! Am I blowing this out of proportion or am I a little justified in feeling like they have absolutely zero patient care. But on the pro side, I had 6 people tell me today that my incisions looked really good. For the record, I have no issue with the surgeon, just his office staff. I'll post a pic next week showing what they look like a month out.
 
Anyways, I was back to liquids for today and tomorrow, then one more day of mushies, then back to regular food on Friday. I will keep you posted on how my weight loss is going, hopefully I can continue to see the scale numbers go down and meet that goal of 16 lbs by 11/16. That would make me at 40 lbs lost!! I can't even believe I can type that let alone it be possible. I still haven't purchased any new pants, why I am not sure yet. But I desperately need too, going to be wearing burlap sacks pretty soon if I don't fix this problem. Also, non scale victory I have written and proof read the first 3 chapters of my second novel! And I think come up with a title for the first, so pretty soon I hope to be a self published author!
 
My final rant, I normally post on Monday nights, but couldn't bring myself to do it. I had to put my first born fur baby (I don't have any human children) to sleep last night. Taylor was my 9 year old chocolate lab who was just getting old. She went downhill fairly quickly in the past two weeks and after our best efforts to save her, she was just too far gone, so we had to put her out of her pain and misery. I literally was there right after the was born and I held her paw until the end. The pain I feel is terrible and I miss her like crazy. I was outside tonight with my other dog, Lizzie and I could have sworn I heard her bark, needless to say it brought tears to my eyes, but I know she is watching over me.
 
Until tomorrow,
 
Amanda

It has been a while since I logged in here. But Almost 3 years later I am 6 pounds from goal weight of 140 and I have lost 100 pounds! I lost 68lbs in first year and 20 lbs each year thereafter. I have not worked out so would have been faster if I did that! But went to see Dr Rantis today and band position looks good! I have a 10cc band and it is filled to 5.25ccs and no more restriction needed! I am a size 6 and it feels great! Foods that have been eliminated from diet are Soda and Soft Bread. Everything else is eaten on strict portion control! This has been the best decision I have ever made! I have had no health or complication issues and blood work keeps coming back good. I am starting a home workout routing - Jullian Michaels Body Revolution to tone up. I have the occasional times that I eat too fast or dont chew enough and I get stuck but I have managed that pretty well by now. So for now, I am very happy and hope to reach my goal weight very soon and get back into shape!

"You're only nineteen."
"You don't need to have surgery."
"Losing weight isn't impossible. If I can do it, anyone can."
"How is it even possible to not lose weight."  
Sometimes not everyone understands another's decisions. Which is totally rational. Not one person has gone through the same thing as another. In my eyes that gives no one person grounds to judge another person on their decisions.
 
I am nineteen. This is true. But what makes my surgery so much more taboo than another person's surgery? What makes my surgery different that a girl my age getting a boob job, or a nose job? I can't do something to benefit my health, and my over all apperance? To create something better for myself; No matter what the cost.
 
I understand why people believe I shouldn't get this surgery. I get it. I'm young. But the great thing is that I am having a procedure done, early on in my life, that will teach me about the lifestyle change I have to make. In order for me to live a healthy, happy life I believe that I need to have this done. Not only because I know I will be more confident, but I will be able to step away from being a prediabetic as well as my sleep apnea.
 
I used to dream, as a little girl, of what it would be like to feel pretty. To be comfortable. To walk around in my own skin and not feel like I was disgusting. Somedays I didn't want to leave the house. I felt repulsive. I felt like it would be better for the world, and myself if I just didn't go to class that day. No one would have to look at me, and I wouldn't have to look at everyone else...looking at me. For whatever reason. I know that this deicision is the best thing I could do for myself. I know that because I am young, I can change my whole life because of this. And I'm excited for it. I am excited for the new me. I deserve it.
 
My surgery date is October 10, 2012.
I am so unbelieveably excited to start my life.

I made it through my first full anesthesia surgery and everything went well. the doctor performed a Single Incision placement of my band so I only really have one scar (currently healing very nicely) in my belly button.
 
For some reason I was more worried about the anesthesia than the actual surgery, and boy did it seem like one second. The surgery lasted around 1 1/2 hours and my first recollection happened in recovery staring up at my mom in pain. Geez, did I not expect the gas pain. I felt like an elephant was trying to sit in my upper chest and boy did that hurt so badly. In the next few hours, I ended up in a recliner because lying down was too painful. My incision decided to bleed a lot so I had to get it redressed, and the pain meds had me in another planet so I couldn't even walk very much even though they wanted me to walk as much as possible.
 
Luckily I was able to go home that night. But, what I did not expect was that I could not lie down flat, not even a little bit. The most i could muster was sitting in my couch with my feet raised. I stayed in that position for the most part for almost 3 days. The gas would move up and down between my chest and right shoulder and it was agony sometimes. When I was finally able to lie on my side I could have cried out in happiness.
 
Today is day 5 and I feel a lot better, so much so that I made it to work, but taking it very easy and not pushing any limits. I'm not sure if its because I'm still in recovery or because of the lack of food, but I do feel sort of weak and a bit out of it. I can't wait to start my mushy/puree phase.
 
I've lost 24 pounds since starting my pre-op liquid diet, have not had any nausea or issues with my liquids. They all go down very easily and took me two days to feel my first sense of hunger. Feeling the band is such an undescribable feeling, its tight first thing in the morning but once i've been up for an hour or so its ready to go. Now I am hungry but I want to heal right, so I have been making sure I have been hydrated and taking at least 2 protein shakes a day.
 
All i need now is to get rid of the last bit of gas pain and I can continue this journey!!!
 
Have a great day everyone!