Domika03

I read a post today that irked me, no it pissed me off. This Texas gal was ready to put her boots on and find her gun….. Hunt her some grammar and spelling police.
 
A fellow bandster said they read a thread where bandsters were criticizing the grammar and spelling of other bandster’s posts. It hurt this bandster so bad that she had steered away from LBT. REALLY…….why?????
 
Does it matter if we don’t use complete sentences or if we spell words wrong?????? Those of you who have a problem with bad grammar and spelling please comment and tell me why it’s so important to you. Cause (oh wait I should say because) I don’t get it.
 
We are all fighting a terrible disease called obesity and one of the side effects of this disease is low self-esteem. We don’t need our brothers & sisters pointing out more of our faults….. We do just fine doing that ourselves.
 
You are wondering why this bothers me….. So many times I hit that POST button and watch my written words appear on a thread and think SH** I spelt that wrong or that doesn’t make any sense hope they get my point. We are here for support in our weight loss journey. We consist of all different people, different education levels, different languages, different everything and we need support.
 
What we don’t need is the grammar and spelling police after us!

Yes, the "C" word = CANCER! Bare with me as this will be a long post....
 
My dad was diagnosed with colon & liver cancer back in Feb of 2011. He was given 6 - 9 months to live. He had the large mass from his colon removed the following month after his original diagnosis, and since the cancer had matasticised (spelling?), or should I just say spread, having chemo would have been fruitless. That was "20".... yes, I said "20" months ago. Dad i now 86.
 
Dad keeps himself busy, and his original response to the cancer, was that he had lived 84 yrs at the time, and I guess it's his time. What a frigin great attitude man. Dad is also my mom's caregiver. Even though she complains about him, and fights with him, he adores her & takes great care of her. She's not in the best of health, her memory is really starting to go (84 yrs old) and really isn't able to take care of herself (taking meds, running errands, driving...). Dad makes sure she is taken care of. In addition, he ALWAYS keeps himself busy, ALWAYS! While mom can't walk around a lot, dad enjoys doing projects. Earlier this year, he built my 19 yr old son a desk for college. A homemade desk! At 86! With Stage 4 cancer!
 
We've gotten used to the idea that dad has cancer, but since he's beaten the odds thus far, it's hard to think that one day he will be taken. It was hard, that is, until recently.
 
You see my husband & I were trying to figure out why I've been suddenly struggling with tracking my food intake, getting enough protein every single day, and eating enough overall. What caused this sudden change?
 
Dad went to the Dr 2 weeks ago for a cough he couldn't get rid of. The Dr decided to take an x-ray knowing he had cancer & to make sure everything was OK. It wasn't OK. I'll be damned if the frigin' "C" word spread to his lungs... :-(
 
He has an apt with his oncologist on the 30th, where we'll find out how far it's spread. He's still in good shape & "looks" ok, but you can see he's starting to get a little more tired. He takes pain med every morning for the pain in his stomach area (liver).
 
With that said, I've been pretty stressed out, but not really letting it show. I have a difficult time sleeping soundly at night because I worry about my mom when my dad goes, and my dad having to deal with all the pain & suffering that comes with... with that #$%^&* "C" word.
 
Obviously, it's having a bigger impact on me than I realized. It breaks my heart, and I worry. I'm no longer really focused on myself as much as I should be. I want my dad to go peacefully when his time comes. I want my mom to be ok.
 
I'm not ready for this. I HATE THE "C" WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I posted this on the forum, but since I'm keeping track of this journey, I want to include my post.
 
I've been experiencing a little port discomfort lately. It feels like a slight pull, and it's not all the time. In addition to that, I've been quite gassy / tummy very bubbly.
 
My port area definitely bothered me Sat night, when we were dancing at a Halloween party, later in the evening. I was actually rubbing it a little. It hurt to dance, but I still kept dancing.
 
This has been happening on & off the last few weeks. It comes & it goes. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with possibly being bloated / ocassionally constipated. So frustrating to have this stupid bloated / constipated feeling. I try to get enough fiber, but since I don't really think I'm getting enough protein, maybe this has something to do with it
 
IDK. I have an appointment with my Dr next Tuesday morning, so I'll mention it & see what they say. Geez, I can feel my tummy gurgling now. All I had for dinner was baked flounder. And, my tummy was gurgling before I even ate that. Grrr.....
 
To boot, I haven't been keeping track of my food intake on myfitnesspal like I was doing. It's not like I'm cheating, but I'm positive I'm not getting enough protein because I get light headed sometimes when I come home from work. Yes, I know, I know...
 
OK, I think I'm done whining.... for now

I ran into my patient advocate, Paul, at True Results today. The patient advocate is the first person you meet with and they walk you through all the pre-op stuff. Once you have the surgery you don’t see the patient advocate. Anyway, I ran into Paul and he about fell over when he saw me. (btw, Paul has been banded for 7 years – lost 120lbs)
 
We sat down and chatted a bit. He said he remembers our first meeting and how I cried because I was so unhappy. And now I glow (his words). He said not only do I look great from the weight loss but my face glows with happiness. He said I was a walking Lap-band billboard. Me? Wow.
 
It was so cool hearing that. I just had to share it. Now I just have to figure out how I’m going to get this big head through the doorway. lol

My name is AJ and I’m a scale-a-holic.
 
I have lied to my LBT friends, it wasn’t intentional… I don’t know how it got so out of control.
 
You see in the beginning I only weigh myself once a week, but back then I was seeing my doctor every week or two. Now I go every 4-6 weeks and that will get stretched out more. When I weigh in at my doctor’s office, that is my ‘official’ weight, I update my profile based on that. So when I weigh at home it doesn’t officially count….
 
Like I said I started weighting once a week, I even had a set day (Sunday morning). Then I started ‘just checking’ on Wednesdays, then Fridays too and before I knew it I was weighting every day. Then it was twice a day, once in the morning & once in the evening (just to see if there was a difference). It wasn’t my ‘official weight’ so what harm is there…..
 
Well my scale died last night. Yep after ten plus years it went kaput. My beloved scale was no more. Panic set in, how am I going to weigh myself in the morning? Where can I get a new scale and fast….
 
Boy was I in a panic! I searched on line all evening, need to find a good scale and fast. Thankfully, I go to the doctors tomorrow and will get an ‘official’ weight.
 
But in the mean time I realize that I have an addiction that I need to manage. The first step in the detoxing is cold turkey. I found the scale I want on Amazon, ordered it & selected Super Saving Shipping (It wound get here till next week). Next, if I have to I’ll have my husband lock it up….hopefully that won’t be necessary. lol

I'm thinking I'm the only person that, knowing I must eat slooooowly & chew/chew/chew, I manage to still try to inhale my food. In my mind, I'm slowing down, but in reality, apparently I'm not.
 
I swear I'm trying, but not enough! Gosh, it's so frustrating because you know what happens when you eat to fast. Your stomach or esophogus... IDK... rejects it.... And then guess what happens? Apparently, I'm good at having the food come back up.
 
I'm so frustrated with myself. I actually had this happen 2 or 3 times this weekend, seriously.
 
I try to put my fork / spoon down, but I guess I just pick the damn thing back up again too quickly. My husband even reminds me, "slow down Fran."
 
Done venting.... back to eating again. See? I waited to take my next bite until I was done complaining about myself

!
I have been banded a little over two years and so much has happened on this journey! I have learned so much about this band, and I still continue to learn things about having a band. One of my newest experiences was about three weeks ago when I could not get anything to go down and every thing I put into my mouth was getting stuck. I did not know what in the world was going on because I had not gotten a fill in over nine months or maybe longer. I was always told that the band could not readjust itself, but that is so far from the truth from my own personal experiences. I was told the band is a little tighter earlier in the mornings and after lunch I should be able to eat well as long as it was chewed "well"! (not always so true for me)
 
Right before I started experiencing my stuck episodes- I had a really bad sinus infection and I wasn't aware how much post nasal drainage I was having. The drainage caused my esophagus to swell around my upper stomach where the band is connected. The more I tried to eat different foods and vomiting the more irritated and swollen my esophagus around my band area became. I lost a quick 20 pounds in two weeks before I really realized it. I was so focused on the daily stuck episodes and trying to figure out what was going on wrong with my band. Now someone may ask, "Why in the world I didn't see my WLS". Well he had moved 4 1/ hours away and I did not want to make that trip feeling so awful unless I had no other choice. Therefore, I scheduled an appointment with a gastroenterologist and he ordered labs for barium swallow. A day after the barium swallow everything had gone back to normal. Unknown to me all of the post nasal swelling had gone down and my band was back to its appropriate restriction level. If that's the correct way of saying it. I have also learned that a week before my "M" cycle my band appears to be more restricted until my cycle has ended. I have also identified that my band is also more restricted when my body feels stress! These things were something I had to learn due to my life experiences with living with my band. Each person's experiences with their band is not always going to be text book or similar to someone else. Each day I learn a little more about life with a "BAND"! Please know that every single day is not going to be the same. Each person will achieve a different level of success- but it does not mean someone else is a failure compared to others. It only means each banded person is a little different and unique! LOL (learn to work “your band”)
 
Each day I work so hard mentally, emotionally, and physically never to become that same person I left behind two years ago and counting……… I had walked three miles while watching Netflix last night before I had realized how long I had walked. I could not believe it! Two years ago- the old me would have pasted out within the first 15 minutes of walking. That was a big victory for me last night and I now understand how much my weight has held me back from a lot of things.
 
I remember me "then" but I focus on me "now"! I am down a total of 90 pounds and counting.
 
 
 

I went for a possible fill today, and I didn't get one. The Nurse asked me if I was eating meats, and I told her that I really wasn't because I was afraid of getting stuck. I explained how scrambeled eggs got me stuck the 1st time for breakfast. She suggested I stick with yogurt in the morning as our stomachs are typically a little more swollen in the morning so it's much easier to get things stuck then. Hum, I didn't know that. I mean I read that some people couldn't eat breakfast, but didn't understand why. So, now I know.
 
I'll try to have yogurt with strawberries or something from now on in the mornings. She said if I can eat meats (chicken, beef, turkey or pork) that aren't dry, and eat every 3 hours or so, that I should be in a good place. Sometimes our bodies change & I might need another fill down the road, but I could be OK. I told her I baked burgers last night (not fried or grilled), and they came out OK. I added a little honey mustard for flavor & so it wouldn't be dry. Got it down OK, so I think I'm in a good place...
 
I lost 5 pds, and she was only expecting 1 1/2 or 2 pds, so I guess thats good.
 
So, there you have it... no more eggs for breakfast for me...

I went for a possible fill today, and I didn't get one. The Nurse asked me if I was eating meats, and I told her that I really wasn't because I was afraid of getting stuck. I explained how scrambeled eggs got me stuck the 1st time for breakfast. She suggested I stick with yogurt in the morning as our stomachs are typically a little more swollen in the morning so it's much easier to get things stuck then. Hum, I didn't know that. I mean I read that some people couldn't eat breakfast, but didn't understand why. So, now I know.
 
I'll try to have yogurt with strawberries or something from now on in the mornings. She said if I can eat meats (chicken, beef, turkey or pork) that aren't dry, and eat every 3 hours or so, that I should be in a good place. Sometimes our bodies change & I might need another fill down the road, but I could be OK. I told her I baked burgers last night (not fried or grilled), and they came out OK. I added a little honey mustard for flavor & so it wouldn't be dry. Got it down OK, so I think I'm in a good place...
 
I lost 5 pds, and she was only expecting 1 1/2 or 2 pds, so I guess thats good.
 
So, there you have it... no more eggs for breakfast for me...

I just looked at myself in the mirror- really looked at myself. I realized my face is much smaller as is my neck and my double chin has disappeared. My husband keeps telling me I am looking great, but I just fail to see it. I know I am smaller because the scales and my clothes show it, but when I look in the mirror I still feel large.
 
Will I ever be able to let go of being the fat gir? Will I ever feel like I am small enough? I am 5'2 and to start with I want to be around 170, but now I have changed that to 135 ish. But, will that be enough once I reach it. I am not sure how I will feel at that point and I know I should worry about, but it's a thought in my head.
 
I love the fact that I am 38 lbs smaller than when I began- even though it's taken 4 months to get there. It feels slow, but my average is 8 lbs a month which isn't bad.
 
I wish I had a magic mirror that could show me what I will look like in a year. But would that motivate me to continue or would it allow me to become complacent and stop being so tight with myself.
 
I don't think any of us have the answers to all these questions, we are all just living our own banded life each day- which varies from person to person.
 
For today I am happy to look at my smiling face in the mirror and now see a second chin or my eye lids dropping down - my face is tighter and cuter and for today that is going to be my joy.
 
Onward and downward in our case! LOL!!

Had my 2nd fill today. My first fill was 2 weeks ago, and was 5 1/2 cc's. Mind you, my band is large, 14 cc's or something like that. Today, I was given an additional 2 1/2 cc's. I believe I was told not to take bites that are bigger than an M&M. Oh, how I would enjoy a peanut butter M&M... Im not a big chocolate fan, but chocolate & peanut butter. Sign me up LOL...
 
I didn't really notice a decrease in appetite, or a more filling sensation with the 1st fill, and the NP told me I probably wouldn't notice anything yet. Somehow I managed to lose 6 pds in 2 weeks. Not bad I guess. Actually, I would LOVE to lose 6 pds every 2 weeks. Did you do the math yet? So, if I lose 6 pds in 2 weeks, that should come to 12 pds in 1 month, then 24 pds in 2 months, oh my gosh, 36 in 3, 48 in 4... eventually I'll disappear! OK, maybe not. Just trying to make a point at how quickly our mind starts calculating as we go through this weight loss journey. I had actually lost 2 more pounds, but found it again in the last week or so. Not sure how I did that, but I'm going to blame being constipated. What? I need an excuse. No wait, I'm doing this to avoid the excuses...
 
I suppose if I worked out 5 times a week like I'm supposed to, the weight could come off alittle quicker. Damn, I have to make an effort.
 
Lesson learned: You get out what you put into this. Some weeks you will lose 3 pds, another week (God help us when this happens), you won't lose anything. Stay focused Fran, stay focused! See the end result!

So, I had my 1st fill today after my Nutrition class. Can I just say "ouch!" Yea, it smarted a little when the needle went in, and I did say "OUCH!". The Nurse says "aw, come on (jokingly)," and I said "yea, seriously OUCH." Oh, it wasn't painful or anything like that, but it did kinda pinch. I even felt something weird when she first started injecting the saline. She said some people can feel it, others can't. This was about 2 hours ago, and my port site is a little sore, but it doesn't hurt.
 
Oh, I found out my band size is a 14. Holy large band, Batman. Yea, I guess it's one of the bigger size bands :ph34r: (embarrassed a little), and I guess she filled me with 5 1/2 or 5 cc's (great, now I can't remember). I'm kinda feeling 'full' right now, but I haven't eaten anything. They said fluids this afternoon, and soft foods for dinner. Then tomorrow, normal foods. I have an appointment for 2 weeks from today to see if I need a 2nd fill by then. They said I can cancel if I feel I don't need it, and schedule an apt for 4 weeks out. I guess we'll see how the next few weeks go.
 
So, I'm off....

So, I had my 1st fill today after my Nutrition class. Can I just say "ouch!" Yea, it smarted a little when the needle went in, and I did say "OUCH!". The Nurse says "aw, come on (jokingly)," and I said "yea, seriously OUCH." Oh, it wasn't painful or anything like that, but it did kinda pinch. I even felt something weird when she first started injecting the saline. She said some people can feel it, others can't. This was about 2 hours ago, and my port site is a little sore, but it doesn't hurt.
 
Oh, I found out my band size is a 14. Holy large band, Batman. Yea, I guess it's one of the bigger size bands :ph34r: (embarrassed a little), and I guess she filled me with 5 1/2 or 5 cc's (great, now I can't remember). I'm kinda feeling 'full' right now, but I haven't eaten anything. They said fluids this afternoon, and soft foods for dinner. Then tomorrow, normal foods. I have an appointment for 2 weeks from today to see if I need a 2nd fill by then. They said I can cancel if I feel I don't need it, and schedule an apt for 4 weeks out. I guess we'll see how the next few weeks go.
 
So, I'm off....

This is the most wonderful and emotional feeling in the world...Yesterday i put on a pair of 18 jeans and I almost cried, it was good tears... im finally under 200 lbs and it excites me everytime someone notices, friends and other family members, it was really getting to me because i got all these positive comments from everyone else except my husband, untill yesterday i saw my husbands face light up when i walked into a room, with my size 18 jeans and a lg not a 2x shirt and he told me that i looked so beautiful and different i wanted to cry to se that he noticed and finally made a comment.. I dont think im asking to much but i luv hearing that my spouse makes a positve comment towards me...( am I??) i had a slip up and was sick last night, learned my lesson, but i feel fine today and it a new day to stay on the right track not giving up... each month or every other month i want to get a smaller size of jeans when they get loose and have a new goal (what do u think?)

I am happy to report that after 2 weeks of absolutely NO weight lost, I finally went down 2.2. pds. I was honestly getting quite frustrated with myself, and reviewing everything I was eating. Hopefully, it will continue to go down slowly but surely.
 
Ahhh,,, finally a small sign of relief

I am happy to report that after 2 weeks of absolutely NO weight lost, I finally went down 2.2. pds. I was honestly getting quite frustrated with myself, and reviewing everything I was eating. Hopefully, it will continue to go down slowly but surely.
 
Ahhh,,, finally a small sign of relief

On my way to my 1 week follow up, even though my surgery was actually last Friday. I have to say that I've got some seriously LOW energy. Since I sit on my booty all day at work, I'm glad I took most of this week off. I'm supposed to go back to work tomorrow, but think I will work from home. I just don't think I've got enough energy to get moving.
 
I'm still not sleeping well because, wouldn't you know it, my siatic (sp?) nerve is starting to bug me when I go to sleep. Great timing for it to act up, huh? It makes for a heckuva sleepless night. I also don't think, never mind, I know I'm not getting enough protein in me. I've been feeling sooo full although I'm barely eating. I think I must be drinking too quickly. Trying to watch myself today because I start on soft foods.
 
So far today, I've had 4 oz of a protein drink, and 1 oz of vanilla greek yogurt (with a dash of cinncamon for flavor). I'm waiting aobut 45 minutes before drinking anything again, but this schedule is tough. I planning ahead and bringing some of my snacks/meals with my 1st nutrition class & follow up apt so I don't miss out on anything (1oz of egg beaters & 1 oz of refried beans & something to drink).
 
I know I've been losing weight because I've checked the scale. However, I try to be realistic because anyone would lose weight following a liquid diet. I don't expect miracles, but am thankful that I'm going in the right direction I still need to learn what my body is saying in the way of hunger vs the full feeling. The last few days it's always felt "full" which is insane beacuse I'm not eating much of anything. Nonetheless, today's nutrition class should be informative, and I look forward to it.
 
Gonna go have my crystal light now. I'm thirsty.

Post-Op Day 7
 
Oh my gosh... I actually ate some homemade chicken soup with zuchinni, carrots and beans,, "pureed!" I don't care what anyone says, after only having liquids, the soup tasted soooo good. I think I actually had like 2 oz of it last night. My family enjoyed their meal without the puree, not sure why they didn't want to join me. Nonethelss, it felt good going down & I didn't notice any issues with it. Ahh....
 
So, as of post-op Day 6, I had managed to lose 15 pds. Yes, I know, that's amazing. And so, I tried to prepare myself in that the weight would start slowing down once I started eating a little more normal, and walking. I started walking about 2 days ago, and to my surprise (though it shouldn't be), I haven't lost anything in 2 days : ( Yes, I know, I know. I didn't gain it all in 1 week, but I have to admit, it felt good seeing the scale go down & down each day. So, I went ahead & measured myself. Thank goodness, it looks like I lost an inch in my waist, thighs, calves & boobs. Ok, as long as it keeps going down, I will settle down...

Post-Op Day 7
 
Oh my gosh... I actually ate some homemade chicken soup with zuchinni, carrots and beans,, "pureed!" I don't care what anyone says, after only having liquids, the soup tasted soooo good. I think I actually had like 2 oz of it last night. My family enjoyed their meal without the puree, not sure why they didn't want to join me. Nonethelss, it felt good going down & I didn't notice any issues with it. Ahh....
 
So, as of post-op Day 6, I had managed to lose 15 pds. Yes, I know, that's amazing. And so, I tried to prepare myself in that the weight would start slowing down once I started eating a little more normal, and walking. I started walking about 2 days ago, and to my surprise (though it shouldn't be), I haven't lost anything in 2 days : ( Yes, I know, I know. I didn't gain it all in 1 week, but I have to admit, it felt good seeing the scale go down & down each day. So, I went ahead & measured myself. Thank goodness, it looks like I lost an inch in my waist, thighs, calves & boobs. Ok, as long as it keeps going down, I will settle down...

Hi everyone,
 
So, let me back up 1 day to surgery yesterday.
 
I woke up & really wasn't nervous like I was the day before. Some how my nerves were calmed. It's gonna happen so why get nervous about it. I went to the hopsital around 9:30am MST and had surgery at 12:30 or so. The worse part was just laying in the hospital bed, waiting for "my turn." I had my durgery done at Rose Medical. Great staff all over. The surgery itself, I'm told, took 19 minutes. While I was there they made me walk around, and can I say, I was burping left & right. Yes, that's what I said ... LOL... I'm told thats very good becuase you want to get the air out that thee pumped in there. It almost seemed to relieve me. so uh, if you can, burp away my friends... the other thing i did at the hospital was gentle massage my stomach. it seemed to gently soothe my achiness at times,
 
I was definitely tired, and a little achy when I got home. My throat actually hurt from havng that tube down my throat. The best way to decribe the achniess is that I felt like a had a permanent stomach ache, an a sore throat with maybe swollen glands; no fever. I went home & napped on & off while making sure to drink / drink / drink. My husand took such good care of me, even my 10 yr old daughter I was thankful to be watched over & pampered.
 
I didn't sleep very well last night, very restless, and therefore woke up with a bit of a headache. I'm not sure what to take, but was going to try my daughter liqud tylenol, if I could find it. I'm sure I'll nap again on & off today as well. Oh, I must have peed like 20 times since I got home (seriously). My goodness, I'm releasing all those liquids... HA HA .... . Thank God, my throat pain feels much better, My stomach is definitely less achy. May I repeat that getting up and, forgive me, but burping again (and any other relief from gas) is helpful. Just saying guys...
 
So far, I'm only had 2 oz of a protein drink, but it looks like I will sipping liquids just about eery hour for the next 5 days. I don't think I actually feel hungry. Saw my daughter eat one of those breakfast sandwiches & I didn't crave it. I'm sooo hoping that stays with me.
 
Well, that's about it really. I'm going to shower then go grocery shopping (yes, I know) for the family. They told me to walk around the first few days, but not to over do it. I'll keep you guys posted.
 
Thaks for listening.
 
PS,,, ive actually lost 4 pds in 1 day due to the liquid diet