Domika03

It's my 5 month bandiversary, and I have lost almost 52 pounds so far !!!
 
I'm feeling good about my weight loss thus far, and look forward to losing more. It's been quite the journey & learning experience. I'm making better choices, and defnitely eating less. More importantly, I'm actually making time to work out (exercise bike). I'm looking forward to the Summer where I might actually be able to go on hikes without losing my breath, and enjoying the outdoors! I feel that my weight gain kept me in hybernation for way too long. Well, it's time to get out & enjoy life again!
 
Congrats to all of you that have lost & continue to lose. Every day you become a healthier you!

It's my 5 month bandiversary, and I have lost almost 52 pounds so far !!!
 
I'm feeling good about my weight loss thus far, and look forward to losing more. It's been quite the journey & learning experience. I'm making better choices, and defnitely eating less. More importantly, I'm actually making time to work out (exercise bike). I'm looking forward to the Summer where I might actually be able to go on hikes without losing my breath, and enjoying the outdoors! I feel that my weight gain kept me in hybernation for way too long. Well, it's time to get out & enjoy life again!
 
Congrats to all of you that have lost & continue to lose. Every day you become a healthier you!

It's my 5 month bandiversary, and I have lost almost 52 pounds so far !!!
 
I'm feeling good about my weight loss thus far, and look forward to losing more. It's been quite the journey & learning experience. I'm making better choices, and defnitely eating less. More importantly, I'm actually making time to work out (exercise bike). I'm looking forward to the Summer where I might actually be able to go on hikes without losing my breath, and enjoying the outdoors! I feel that my weight gain kept me in hybernation for way too long. Well, it's time to get out & enjoy life again!
 
Congrats to all of you that have lost & continue to lose. Every day you become a healthier you!

I went to my primary Dr today because I'd been feeling light headed lately. I hadn't seen him since before my surgery last August.
 
I walked toward the private waiting room, and his nurse says to me, "Wow, you look great. I almost didn't even recognize you!" I thought to myself, are you talking to me? Yea, you ARE talking to ME!!! YIPEE YAHOOOO!!!
 
She proceeded to weigh me & I'm down "49" pounds!!!!
 
The Dr. walked in, smiled & said "you look great!" All I could do was nod & smile!!
 
This Dr. has known me for about 8+ years, so he knows my crazy yo-yo weight history (up,down, up, down, up, up). And, aren't we all familiar with that concept? He also knows the depression I spiraled into as a result of my being over-weight. I didn't want to go out, or even be seen in public, not even by my own brother & his family! I digress.
 
The point is that it felt good (damn good) to hear compliments about my progress so far. I swear I felt myself getting taller as we spoke about my lap band journey. Heck, I'm actually even starting to like the way I look now that I bought a few new outfits. My closets are much emptier now, but I'm OK with that. I know I'll be in this size for several months because I don't go down in size until I lose 20-25 pds. I still need to lose another 40 pds or so, but it's all good! I'm already feeling more confident about myself & that's whats important.

3 little letters...
 
F...A...T...
 
FAT...
 
Something I have carried with me my whole life, something I have been called my whole life, something I have felt my whole life...
 
Something I am ready to let go of.
 
 
I have always struggled with my weight. I was never the kid that felt confident at gatherings or at school. I was teased...badly. There have been so many times that I have cried because of my weight, whether it be due to someones cruel comments, or because it has inhibited my life. Even as an adult, I have been struggling.
 
It is time to let go and be the person I always wanted to be...
 
I can't wait to be the girl who stops to look in the mirror twice because I don't believe the reflection is me. To be just "one of the girls" in a photo, instead of the "fat friend". To deal with my "inner fat child" demons and live a healthy life.
 
I am going to start my pre-op diet on the 14th. Once that day comes, there is no turning back...
 
I pray this momentum and desire carries me through this journey...
 
Cheers to a new me!

I'm not sure what's going on, but lately I've been having trouble drinking water. I mean, of all things. Tomorrow I'll be banded 4 months, and this "issue" has been only coming up the last few days. My chest starts to hurt a little when I take several sips. I don't think I'm drinking any faster than I have been...?
 
My food intake hasn't been doing too well either. I'm not necessarily eating "bad" stuff (hum, those veggie chips can't be "that" good), but I am keeping track of everything. I'm actually not really eating enough overall. I get busy & don't eat. Then, at the end of the day (afternoon), I start to drag a$$ & get really tired. Sometimes even light-headed. Yea, I know guys. I know better.
 
I think I've just been so busy taking care of my parents (dad), running their errands, taking mom to get hair done (she's been going every week for YEARS), grocery shopping & now I even cook a little extra & drop it off.
 
I digress...
 
So, why am I having this discomfort when drinking water? What's this all about? I've always loved water!

Why is it when I'm highly stressed, I go towards junk food. I did great all day until this afternoon when I got home from my parents house, for the 2nd time today.
 
As you may know, my dad is in stage 4 cancer, and while he's been one helluva trooper beating this cancer shi*, it's finally starting to take it's toll. He's starting to feel pain more often so the pain meds are getting stronger & given more often. He still looks strong, but we know the inevitable.
 
Anyway, I had to call Hospice, his Dr, then check on him, then go back when the Hospice Nurse got there, and make an apt for him to go to his regular Dr tomorrow. Mind you, many emails & texts with my husband & brother in between. You get the picture?
 
With all these "excuses" said, I ate 2 (not just one) sugar cookies AND a few chips (which I NEVER eat)!
I was on a roll not eating "junk" food then I hit major stress & BAM.. back to the horrible habits!
 
Can anyone tell me.....Why, oh why do old habits die hard?

Yippee, yahoo!
 
I weighed myself this morning & there it was just starting at me. The scale actually started with the number "1". Let's forget the fact that the other #'s were 99.6. Who cares? It actually started with a "1"
 
It's probably been 10+ years since I've seen that. It felt so good that I even put on my size 18 jeans & they fit. A little snug in the tummy area, but you could actually tell that I'd lost 45 pds with them on. I actually had a male co-worker (who knows me well) tell me that he could tell I lost weight!!!!!
 
I'm excited & looking forward to hitting 190 in the next 6 weeks :-)

Ok, perhaps I'm being just an itty, bitty over dramatic BUT I'm literally kocking on onederland's door!!!
I weighed in at 200.4 this morning. Oh my gosh, I can almost taste onederland's. It's been years since I've been here.
 
I'm so excited. If I stand on my tippy toes I can see 199!!!

I was banded almost 4 1/2 months ago & have lost 45 pds so far. I haven't lost any weight in the last 2 1/2 weeks, but I didn't really exercise as much or eat as healthy as I had been. I'm not thrilled about it, but I'm not stressing about it either because I"m much more aware of what I eat these days. I still struggle with getting enough protein in, but I'm working on it...
 
So, with that said, I've done quite a bit of closet cleaning the last few weeks. I'm happy to say that I've donated A LOT of clothes to Good Will. Time to put all the over-sized clothes to rest.
 
I went to Dress Barn, and found myself, comfortably, in size 18 pants, and 1X shirts. Well I'll be damned if they didn't look pretty good on me. Hum... go figure. Since it takes me around 20 - 25 pds before I go down a size in clothes, I figure these clothes will last me a while.
 
My goals are now limited to 10 pounds at a time. I think this is much more manageable & it'll make me feel better about myself. I still have another 50 pds to go to make my goal, but it's OK. I'm enjoying the journey!

I was banded almost 4 1/2 months ago & have lost 45 pds so far. I haven't lost any weight in the last 2 1/2 weeks, but I didn't really exercise as much or eat as healthy as I had been. I'm not thrilled about it, but I'm not stressing about it either because I"m much more aware of what I eat these days. I still struggle with getting enough protein in, but I'm working on it...
 
So, with that said, I've done quite a bit of closet cleaning the last few weeks. I'm happy to say that I've donated A LOT of clothes to Good Will. Time to put all the over-sized clothes to rest.
 
I went to Dress Barn, and found myself, comfortably, in size 18 pants, and 1X shirts. Well I'll be damned if they didn't look pretty good on me. Hum... go figure. Since it takes me around 20 - 25 pds before I go down a size in clothes, I figure these clothes will last me a while.
 
My goals are now limited to 10 pounds at a time. I think this is much more manageable & it'll make me feel better about myself. I still have another 50 pds to go to make my goal, but it's OK. I'm enjoying the journey!

I was banded almost 4 1/2 months ago & have lost 45 pds so far. I haven't lost any weight in the last 2 1/2 weeks, but I didn't really exercise as much or eat as healthy as I had been. I'm not thrilled about it, but I'm not stressing about it either because I"m much more aware of what I eat these days. I still struggle with getting enough protein in, but I'm working on it...
 
So, with that said, I've done quite a bit of closet cleaning the last few weeks. I'm happy to say that I've donated A LOT of clothes to Good Will. Time to put all the over-sized clothes to rest.
 
I went to Dress Barn, and found myself, comfortably, in size 18 pants, and 1X shirts. Well I'll be damned if they didn't look pretty good on me. Hum... go figure. Since it takes me around 20 - 25 pds before I go down a size in clothes, I figure these clothes will last me a while.
 
My goals are now limited to 10 pounds at a time. I think this is much more manageable & it'll make me feel better about myself. I still have another 50 pds to go to make my goal, but it's OK. I'm enjoying the journey!

Why should you feel guilty about eating something. Isn't that the way we used to feel before being banded. Over eating on Sunday before the start of your Monday diet. If you are eating something that makes you feel guilty then why over indulge and eat it.
 
This journey is about learning new habits not holding on to the old ones. Being made to feel guilty about any decision in life whether it is about food or anything else is a very bad feeling one should never have. If you are about to sit down and eat a chocolate bar or a piece of pie but after you eat it that guilt trip settles in, then why put yourself through that process over and over again.
 
One day I sat down and I was looking at my snacks for the day and when I entered them in on Spark People (because I like that site much better then My Fitness Pal) holy toledo, even though I was only eating a thousand calories for the day, at least 350 to 400 were in snacks. Not that the snacks were bad because it was 100 calories for greek yogurt, 170 for a protein bar and so forth, the guilt of what I ate snack wise floored me and made me feel guilty. I never wanted to feel that way again about food.
 
I don't want to feel guilty so that is why I do not eat high calorie snacks anymore. Some apple slices, craisins, low fat cottage cheese, hard boiled eggs and so forth. I keep my snacking calories under 250 so I don't have to feel guilty. I love anything with sugar but I can't eat it because I can't just have one and then the guilt settles in.
 
Pleasure should never be compared to guilt or associated with guilt. You make your decisions to eat things so why feel guilty. We have all failed at something in life whether it be having an aweful relationship with food, family, mates, children.
 
I don't want my eating life to be full of guilt because in all reality in this part of the game I am eating to fuel my body not fuel my mind on taste. My mind played enough aweful things in my life as far as my relationship with food goes.
 
Think before you eat and ask yourself "is this going to make me feel guilty after I eat it"? If the answer is yes then get rid of it. You don't need guilt to be in your life over something that won't matter in ten years.
 
TTFN

Anyone thats ever had a traumatic event in their life can relate to what I'm about to say. I spent a lot of time in the counselors office talking about forgiveness. Forgiving your abuser and those who supported the abuse, either by denial or by complacency is more about healing you than giving that other person anything.
 
I never once in this whole process ever thought about forgiving myself. I was watching a recent episode of Heavy and one of the counseling sessions was about forgiving yourself. There is so much guilt associated in childhood trauma, at least there was for me. I can honestly say that I have forgiven those involved, but I have never forgiven myself.
 
Part of this journey for me is to work through the reasons I turn to food for comfort. Part of my realization is that I have not forgiven myself; I did not allow myself to break free from my abuse because of the guilt. I feel responsible for what happened, because I didn't speak up, I didn't tell anyone, I didn't make it stop. Why didn't I? Logic sets in and tells me it was because I was only 2,3,4,5,6,7 years old but my memories are processed through my mind, an adult's mind. I am mature enough to know it is wrong..now! But then? I remember saying " this is wrong" and him saying " why?" and I couldn't answer him because I didn't know.
 
How could I not have known?
 
These are the things I am working through...it's not a sob story, so don't feel bad for me. It's just my reality, one that I've lived with my whole life. I'm working through it now. I have no choice because I can't consume large amounts of food anymore to avoid working through them ( thank god!)
 
I'm just telling myself every day that I have the right to what everyone else has and that....
 
It was not my fault! It was not my fault! It was not my fault!

This seems to be one of the most popular questions in the forums. Weight stalling is normal but there are things that your body needs in order to continue to lose weight that some never think are important.
 
Sleep is a big factor in weight loss. You need a full 8 hour nights sleep in order to lose weight. Why? Because while you are sleeping your body is revitalizing its self and removing toxins from your body. When you don't get a good nights sleep your weight loss can slow down or stop completely.
 
Water intake. In order to help flush fat out of your body, you need to consume large amounts of water daily. 64 ounces or more. It also helps with water retention when you are drinking enough water.
 
Your bowels need to move. If you are not having bowel movements on a regular basis that is added weight that needs to come out. Take something to help relieve the constipation because protein causes constipation.
 
Stress. If you are stressing out over not losing weight you are only making it that much harder to lose any weight. Stress has been a key factor in no weight loss.
 
Salt intake. If you are eating a lot of lunch meats, soups, and other things loaded with salt you are retaining fluid.
 
Not enough protein. If you are not eating the recommended amount of protein and filling yourself with carbs then of course you won't lose weight. Protein is vital in burning fat. If you're not eating enough then your weight loss will stall also.
 
Exercising too much. If you are burning 800 calories a day exercising and only consuming 800 calories then you will not lose weight. Your body will hold on to every ounce of fat because you are not giving it enough fuel to function. Exercise in moderation about 30 minutes every other day. Your body needs a recovery period from exercise. You don't need to go to the gym 7 days a week to lose weight.
 
Lastly plateus happen and sometimes they last for weeks or months but this is not the time to throw in the towel. Its the time for your desire to lose weight to shine. Eventually your body has no choice but to drop the pounds it is holding on too.

Cause I kicked it all out!
 
I went to my PCP today for a follow up on my high blood pressure. When I was banded I was on 3 different medicines to control it. About 3 months ago my PCP took me off the last one and said we will monitor your pressure and see how you do.
 
I was so proud of myself, for the last three months I have posted how I went from 3 meds to no meds…
 
Well, today my doctor put me back on one of the meds at half the dosage. I was so disappointed in myself. I felt like I had failed, that NSV pulled right out from under me. I wanted to cry. I pouted all the way home.
 
I know this is something that is not in my control. Everyone in my family has high blood pressure (the skinny ones too) and I know this could be genetic. But, dang it feels like I went backwards.
 
To make myself feel better I went shopping for new pajamas. Mine where too big and the pants would fall off me as I slept (hubby didn’t mine this). Anyway, I got me some cute new PJs. See!
 
Now time to put all my sand back in my sandbox. Thanks for listening.

Do you admit when you are struggling?
 
Or eat wrong?
 
Or over eat?
 
Or do you just hide it??
 
I feel like I have been successful at my weight loss, I’ve lost 75 pounds in 10 months and I’m at goal. But, was I an A student the whole time? NO!
 
I slipped more than once during my journey. I had nights where I munched on peanuts and chocolate chips, didn’t measure them out so I have no idea how much I truly ate. I also had times when I ate more carbohydrates than protein and times when I ate so fast that I was PBing my food back up.
 
What I did do was be honest with myself. I tried to log everything in my food journal (I had to estimate some things). And I got back on the saddle as soon as possible.
 
Perfection is not required for success; my doctor told me if I could give 80% I would see results. And I did see results.
 
So to all of you struggling know that for every success story you read there are behind the scenes struggles, too.

So I recieved a call from my plastic surgeon's assistant this morning.... I have my pre op appointment late this afternoon as my tummy tuck and breast lift is next Tuesday.... She wanted to remind me to bring in a picture of how I would like my girls to look after surgery. I told her I found a pic online and will bring it with me.
 
Of course what I didnt tell her was that it was hysterical doing it.... I have never looked at so many breasts in my life... I never realized how weird it was to analyze them, try to imagine how they will look on my body etc... And of course I had to incluide hubby in my quest for the perfect breast.... who really thought it didnt matter as long as I was happy. So he was no help. LOL
 
I narrowed it down to 2 pics of people who had lifts after weight loss, who were over 45, over 5'7 and about 157 lbs..... basically ones I thought looked natural and were about my size and shape... we'll see what the Dr says.
 
One more chapter in this fun journey.....

Ok, perhaps I'm being just an itty, bitty over dramatic BUT I'm literally kocking on onederland's door!!!
I weighed in at 200.4 this morning. Oh my gosh, I can almost taste onederland's. It's been years since I've been here.
 
I'm so excited. If I stand on my tippy toes I can see 199!!!

Ok, perhaps I'm being just an itty, bitty over dramatic BUT I'm literally kocking on onederland's door!!!
I weighed in at 200.4 this morning. Oh my gosh, I can almost taste onederland's. It's been years since I've been here.
 
I'm so excited. If I stand on my tippy toes I can see 199!!!

I decided for the holidays I would buy myself a recumbent bike. I got it today off of Craigslist for $75. They usually go for $100 - $150, used. The guy didn't have the owners manual but I figure I can download it.
 
Looking forward to using it because, other than walking around running "many" errands & going Christmas shopping, I haven't really done much in the way of exercise lately. I've been helping mom & dad run their errands since dad hasn't been feeling well with his sciatic nerve acting up, and mom can't really walk around a lot.
 
Fortunately, I've been lucky enough that I keep losing weight, but I don't want to be saggy. I want to lose weight, feel & look healthy.
 
Anyway, I'm hoping to put it in the LR once we get all our Christmas stuff up tomorrow.
 
Merry Christmas to me. 42 pounds down & counting...

So I went to a Christmas party last night.. at the home of friends we see regularly so saw lots of people who have seen me recently but more that havent seen me since this party last year. While its fun to hear and oh so flattering... the accolaids were almost embarrassing.... I was like.... isnt there something else to talk about besides my weight loss?
 
But then this morning I did my customary morning ritual on the scale and I weighed in at 159!!! I do not EVER remember in my life being in the 150s... I am in shock and no one is awake yet in my house so I had to rush on to tell you.... Holy #%#%... who would woulda thunk it? Maybe 150 isnt a pipe dream....
 
Happy Sunday!

i often get asked how do you stay so focused and positive. The answer easy, I look in the mirror every morning and I love what I see, I stand on the scales and I love what I see, I get to go shopping and wear pretty much anything I want! So I ask Why would I not stay focused and positive when this process has worked so well for me? Has it been easy NO!!! but what is worth achieving with out hard work and dedication? I will tell you something that has helped me and that is my positive outlook and commitment to this process. I have learned from both my positive experiences and my negative experiences. I have learned that I am far from perfect and can learn from everyone, even the ones who are struggling. I am just Polly Anna enough to believe that anything worth achieving is worth working hard for and I also believe that most people are good. Now I have been burnt a couple of times in my life but this does not prevent me from still believing in people.
 
So I share with you this morning some positive affirmations for a healthy happy weight loss journey.
 
I write them on my mirror, I post them in my office and on my refrigerator and share them with my friends.
 
This is my trick for staying focused and realizing my dream of a thinner, healthier me.
 
 
 
A list of positive Affirmations for Weight Loss

I achieve my weight loss goals
Losing weight comes naturally to me
I choose nourishing, healthy foods
I think before eating
I drink lots of water
Losing weight is fun
Healthy foods taste better
I am motivated by both successes and failures
I accept and love my body as it is, and work to make it better
I love challenges and embrace them
I lose weight systematically and I keep it off permanently
I am losing weight
I exercise because it makes me feel good
I respect my body and treat it with respect
I do everything I need to do to achieve my healthy weight
I am encouraged by every success
I am motivated by every shortfall
Losing weight and I are one
I dissolve all blocks to reaching a healthy weight
I forgive myself
I learn from my mistakes
I fill all physical appetites in physically healthy ways
I am aware of my eating habits and how they affect my weight
I am willing to change my eating habits and I do so easily
I build lean muscle and I lose fat
I enjoy the process of reaching a healthy weight
I see myself at my healthy weight and I achieve it
I have non-stop daily determination to reach my healthy weight
I like long walks
It is easy for me to stay on my plan to obtain my healthy weight
I picture myself at my perfect weight
I have a positive attitude about what I eat, how I eat, and when I eat
My body burns fat like a furnace
Developing healthy eating habits becomes easier each day
I stay on a healthy eating plan and maintain my healthy weight easily
Each day, I automatically and successfully get healthier and healthier

 

Happy Sunday all and wishing you continued success to achieving your goals!

I decided for the holidays I would buy myself a recumbent bike. I got it today off of Craigslist for $75. They usually go for $100 - $150, used. The guy didn't have the owners manual but I figure I can download it.
 
Looking forward to using it because, other than walking around running "many" errands & going Christmas shopping, I haven't really done much in the way of exercise lately. I've been helping mom & dad run their errands since dad hasn't been feeling well with his sciatic nerve acting up, and mom can't really walk around a lot.
 
Fortunately, I've been lucky enough that I keep losing weight, but I don't want to be saggy. I want to lose weight, feel & look healthy.
 
Anyway, I'm hoping to put it in the LR once we get all our Christmas stuff up tomorrow.
 
Merry Christmas to me. 42 pounds down & counting...

I have been posting in the forums for several years and never even noticed the blog feature... but recently I am seeing that everyone is blogging.. so thought I would try it out.
 
This week my patience has been tried on the forums so maybe I need to be more selective in replying to certain posts and use a blog to vent... something to think about....
 
Have to go to my office Christmas party in 30 minutes.... I will stand around with my pretty glass of water with lemon and watch everyone stuff their faces on rich fatty appetizers... And tomorrow I will still be in my new found size 8s and they will be thinking of how to shed the bloat from their over induldging. Life is good!