dylanmiles23

​So today would have been my parents 74th wedding anniversary. My father died at 89, almost 90 April, 2006. My mother is 95, good to decent health but the mind is gone, full blown dementia. I saw her yesterday and she hates to be bathed, needs to wear Depends and won't. She wears a huge gold ring and while lashing out broke her finger and won't let us cut the ring off. I tried to talk to her, forget it.
At 4ish am this morning she fell. She wasn't great getting an x-ray. Don't know yet if she broke anything.
Ok, now my rant!! Why is it we can put our beloved pets to sleep and not our parents/spouse or whoever, who is suffering?????????? When my father was dying, my mother, age 87, bathed him, cleaned him, spoon fed him and every day she would say, "Today is a good day for a funeral, Melvin, close your eyes". My mother is that way and if she saw the way she is, she would try to kill herself, I know that.
Sorry, but I needed to voice my thoughts. My oldest brother feels the same way as I do. It is enough for our wonderful mother. She was great!! When I see her she always says who is watching the boys. I keep telling her they are 35 & 39. She thinks they are still very young. Sad.
Thank you for listening to me.
I hope you all don't have to deal with all this.
 
I also have a brother, 69, I am the very youngest of 3, who is mentally challenged . He lives alone but I take care of him. He has type 1 diabetes and takes 4 shots a day and he doesn't get it. I try to explain and help. I have a full plate with family.
 
Everyone enjoy your day. Stay warm.
Arlene

​So today would have been my parents 74th wedding anniversary. My father died at 89, almost 90 April, 2006. My mother is 95, good to decent health but the mind is gone, full blown dementia. I saw her yesterday and she hates to be bathed, needs to wear Depends and won't. She wears a huge gold ring and while lashing out broke her finger and won't let us cut the ring off. I tried to talk to her, forget it.
At 4ish am this morning she fell. She wasn't great getting an x-ray. Don't know yet if she broke anything.
Ok, now my rant!! Why is it we can put our beloved pets to sleep and not our parents/spouse or whoever, who is suffering?????????? When my father was dying, my mother, age 87, bathed him, cleaned him, spoon fed him and every day she would say, "Today is a good day for a funeral, Melvin, close your eyes". My mother is that way and if she saw the way she is, she would try to kill herself, I know that.
Sorry, but I needed to voice my thoughts. My oldest brother feels the same way as I do. It is enough for our wonderful mother. She was great!! When I see her she always says who is watching the boys. I keep telling her they are 35 & 39. She thinks they are still very young. Sad.
Thank you for listening to me.
I hope you all don't have to deal with all this.
 
I also have a brother, 69, I am the very youngest of 3, who is mentally challenged . He lives alone but I take care of him. He has type 1 diabetes and takes 4 shots a day and he doesn't get it. I try to explain and help. I have a full plate with family.
 
Everyone enjoy your day. Stay warm.
Arlene

I'm looking forward to my 1st bariatric support group meeting tomorrow near my local Kaiser facility. It's the 1st one in that location so it'll be a first for everyone involved.
 
I imagine there will be a combination of band / sleeve / bypass patients, and I'm curious about everyone's diet & recovery. Should be interesting! Look forward to posting about what I learned, tomorrow night.

I'm less than three days away from being banded. I have been feeling hungry since last night. This is real hunger with a growling stomach. It's getting difficult to choke the shakes down. I've been online today looking for some better ones that don't cost a fortune to ship to Canada. If anyone has any recommendations let me know.
 
Thursday cannot come too soon!

I get emails daily asking me how to I lose my weight and look so good but I must admit, things are not as they appear. I too have love handles and golf ball thighs but I don't post the pictures that show that of course. I lost a ton of weight fast but I did it with the sleeve and the gym. Ask my family where I spend my free time when I'm not at the office, I'm at the gym. Nothing is free, we must work out and sweat to get results and that is the only reason I look like I do. I also avoid carbs and sugars and focus on protein. Protein shakes and yogart and chicken is in my daily diet. You can do it too, don't give up!

This is really a repost of something I said yesterday but thought it was worth a blog entry
 
Watching my 600lb Life on TLC can be inspirational, aggravating and downright annoying. Many times I want to reach through the TV and slap patients but more importantly the non-supporting people in their lives. I will admit I have only seen a handful of episodes.
 
One thing I can tell you from being a 5'6 488 pound morbidly obese person is it was just a struggle to wipe my butt and it was to a point where I showered after to make sure I was clean and the shower alone was a task because of the aches and pains in my muscles and joints. Walking from my car to my office even with the use of an elevator took a lot out of me. I would last 10 minutes walking the grocery store with my wife and would end up going out to the car and wait for her to finish because I was out of breath and legs ached so bad.
 
I don’t recall eating food and gaining weight simply because I was lazy or didn’t care about myself. I didn’t eat with the intent of becoming morbidly obese to a point where I couldn’t do those simplest of daily life tasks. I have a serious junk food addiction and I loved it. I ate from the moment I wake up to the moment I went to bed.
 
I am not making excuses for myself or anyone else but keep in mind you’re watching an edited reality t.v. show. Do we really know what is going in these people’s lives? They edit the crap out of these things to create the draw and because everyone loves a train wreck and more often than not they will put those things front and center.
 
One thing I am certain about is I will always remain humble and will make sure I never become like the people who used to judge me. I was a terrible mess physically and eventually mentally and I am lucky to be where I am today. I absolutely refuse to forget my 488lb self. Sometimes I wonder why me? Why was I successful? Just because someone doesn’t care about themselves doesn’t mean they don’t WANT to care about themselves.
 
Hope is a very powerful emotion and it can make or break you

I am very excited to meet with a plastic surgeon today to discuss my excess wt on the bottom half of my body that still makes me feel "ugly". I was hoping by hitting the gym everyday hard that I would not need additional surgery but I do not feel comfortable yet in a swimsuit as long as my back side is as big as Kim Kardashian's. Cross your fingers for me that it is affordable and painless and I will keep you all posted on what they say in case any of you are interested in pursuing this as well.

Good evening. I was watching the local news, Boston, and they showed a new device from England. It is a pill you swallow and it blows up into a balloon. The balloon stays in your stomach and takes up room for around 3 months and you lose about 20 pounds. After they deflate the balloon your stomach is back to where it always was. It cost around 5k!!!
It will be tested in the USA soon. Bad idea, sorry, don't like it. This is as bad as sewing mesh on your tongue for a month. When are they going to stop with dumb s**t???????
But then that is how people make money, millions of dollars.
 
I love my band and today it really did it's job when I was bad. Thanks band for reminding me to stop and eat smart.
 
Now if the band could say, Arlene get off your fat ass and get to the gym, then I would be more in love.

Good evening. I was watching the local news, Boston, and they showed a new device from England. It is a pill you swallow and it blows up into a balloon. The balloon stays in your stomach and takes up room for around 3 months and you lose about 20 pounds. After they deflate the balloon your stomach is back to where it always was. It cost around 5k!!!
It will be tested in the USA soon. Bad idea, sorry, don't like it. This is as bad as sewing mesh on your tongue for a month. When are they going to stop with dumb s**t???????
But then that is how people make money, millions of dollars.
 
I love my band and today it really did it's job when I was bad. Thanks band for reminding me to stop and eat smart.
 
Now if the band could say, Arlene get off your fat ass and get to the gym, then I would be more in love.

Good evening. I was watching the local news, Boston, and they showed a new device from England. It is a pill you swallow and it blows up into a balloon. The balloon stays in your stomach and takes up room for around 3 months and you lose about 20 pounds. After they deflate the balloon your stomach is back to where it always was. It cost around 5k!!!
It will be tested in the USA soon. Bad idea, sorry, don't like it. This is as bad as sewing mesh on your tongue for a month. When are they going to stop with dumb s**t???????
But then that is how people make money, millions of dollars.
 
I love my band and today it really did it's job when I was bad. Thanks band for reminding me to stop and eat smart.
 
Now if the band could say, Arlene get off your fat ass and get to the gym, then I would be more in love.

Quick drastic weight loss is a strange experience. Don't get me wrong, I was fully prepared, after all it took over 10 years to finally break down and undergo surgery. After all the research, doctor's visits, and support groups/forums, I was prepared buuuuttt. I'm having trouble moving into the "skinny mindset".
 
I eat like a skinny person, I don't have a choice since 95% of my stomach is gone. I'm becoming active like a skinny person with Fibromyalgia [there's only so much you can do with Fibro].
 
The problem is clothing. I still see myself as fat and think I should wear larger clothing. That's where having lots of children [young adults] in one's life helps. After being teased for wearing clothing that is too big [even though it is smaller than what I use to wear], I broke down and purchased items from stores I would have never dreamed I could patronize, Express, Old Navy, J C Penny, Victoria's Secret. Everyone thinks I look great but I feel they are too small.
 
Oh well, I guess my self-perception will catch up with the physical as time goes by.

We are already in to week three of the year. How many of you made a resolution to lose weight? Did you promise yourself you were going to lose a few unsightly pounds, or are you thinking about losing the weight of a small Volkswagen? Well, I'm here to tell you that regardless of how much you want to lose, to be successful you've got to get right in the head first. There is a huge chasm between thinking about it and doing it.
 
The first thing you need to do is ask yourself:
"Self ... am I ready for this? Am I ready to severely change my life?
Am I ready to rethink the way I look at food and drink?
Am I ready to temporarily forego dinner parties, lunches, and various other social functions?
Am I ready to make my weight loss the most important thing in my life?
Am I ready to become more active?
Am I ready to find a plan and stick to it?
Am I ready to have patience?
Am I committed to succeed?
 
Well, are ya?
 
If you have answered NO to any of the aforementioned questions, you probably need to rethink your resolution. Whether you're thinking of blowing out 5 pounds of baby fat or 100 pounds of fat ass, the commitment is the same. The only difference is the distance you may travel. Your 5 pounds may take a couple of weeks. Your 100 pounds may take a couple of years. I know this first hand. If you read my previous rant, you'll remember that Dr. X shocked me by telling me that my quest for Thindom is a 2 year journey. All the while, stupid me was banking on being done in one year. So if you're a "biggun" hitting for the fences, face the fact that you're going to be doing this for a while.
 
Let's talk to possible Lap-Band candidates. Know this. Don't think you're going to go in for your first consultation and schedule a surgery date. That's what I thought. I went in on January 21, 2013 and thought I would schedule my surgery for a few weeks away. Right between some travel plans I had. Oh NAY NAY! I was given a laundry list of things that I needed to accomplish to get scheduled. My doctor told me if I was diligent, I could get it done in 5 months. Yikes! I saw numerous doctors, shrinks, exercise gurus, nutritionists and fat counselors. I went to group therapies and had batteries of test done. I did everything asked of me as quick as possible and it took me 4 months to get the food fighter installed. So potential Lap-Banders ... be ready for that!
 
Another thing Lap-Band candidates must grasp. This Lap-Band contraption is nothing more than a tool. To be successful, you must find a diet plan your comfortable with and stick to it! Fact is, it will be a while after your surgery that you even feel the device working for you. In my case, it was at least 5 months of saline injections before I finally felt a small restriction. Even after 8 months, I still am not in the "green zone". My doctor and nutritionist discuss this every month at my check-in. And every month we're still tweaking it up a bit. It's all part of the process.
 
Bottom line readers ... If you're trying to lose weight, it's gonna take commitment and time. I have read many blogs of newbie lap-band patients that are disappointed in their results. But if you read between the lines it's always the same. They got the surgery and they are sitting on their collective fat asses waiting for the pounds to melt away. Sorry. That just ain't gonna happen!
 
Going into month 9, I am bouncing around the 70 pound loss number. I did it by carefully watching my calorie intake of both food and alcohol. I have gotten more active. Do I work out? Yes, but I ain't killing myself doing it. After all, my original goal was just to fit back into my Level 3 pants. I was never trying to qualify for the Olympics.
 
I will get back to you when I am firmly under that 70 mark. Should be real soon!
 
Johnny

Here is a breakdown of how I spent my 60 minutes today at the new gym we joined:
 
1 minute- deciding if I wanted to use the treadmill in the giant room with all of the exercise bunnies
2 minutes-picking out the treadmill and wondering where to put my sweatshirt I had taken off
1 minute- thinking I looked really new to this
1 minute- sneaking glances at the other people, noticing all the old people that were there and realizing
that I was the fattest person there
45 minutes- walking on the treadmill
 
While on the treadmill:
20 minutes- wondering how many people behind me were staring at my fat butt and
hoping my pants weren't riding up the crack of my a$$.
5 minutes- doing fat girl adjustments to my clothes to make sure my belly wasn't
hanging out
1 minute- trying to sneak glances to see how fast other people were walking
19 minutes- feeling good about my performance and listening to Pandora 80's Cardio
Channel to get my groove on
 
5 minutes- trying out an elliptical machine for the first time. thinking wtf? this does not feel natural.
5 minutes- waiting for my hubby to finish his stuff and checking out the group classes and deciding
we need to go to the beginning yoga class tonight.
 
Really, it was great. I've been walking on my treadmill at home so I'm not totally out of shape. I must say that the presence of other people does motivate me to do better. I walked for 45 minutes at 3.0 to 3.4 mph. I felt good about my work out.
 
Mostly I was happy that my husband and I went to the gym together. I have dreamed of this moment for years. That someday, he would become interested in something other than the television and we could do it together.
 
I'm happy.

So, please pardon me and accept my apology if I happen to step on toes here. Sincerely!
 
I almost gave up on this site with the reorg. I lost a lot of the old timers who had helped me along the way. These people were wonderful. They never talked down to me or told me to go dig through past forums to find the answer. They generously shared their personal experience, (which has turned out to be invaluable). Here's where the cranky part came in, finding out that some of the older bandsters were tired of answering all the questions for the newbies and they should start asking their doctor and not them, unless we wanted to pay this person. (I'm sure she was being snarky). I've read things like if you don't like it... don't read it... block me... I don't care. What in the world has happened to you that you could be so cruel to people who were not so long ago on the same path you were on? Just HATEFUL. I know this person doesn't need my respect, validation, or approval... so they definitely don't have it.
 
If the people on this site bother some folks so much then I think its time to leave. It's kinda like when you get older and have to stop driving! You're running too many people over to have anybody listen to you. BTW. I can usually let things run off my back but after seeing post after post. I had to vent.
Not usually a whiny ******!
 
Best Wishes To Everyone!

I gave myself and my daughter post-Christmas presents, memberships at Planet Fitness. Since I don't drive and PF allows you to bring a guest, my son gets one by association - he will be my driver.
 
The problem is that with this extreme cold weather, my fibro has been in overdrive. I don't like to go out when it is really cold because it aggravates my pain so I've been following the exercises set up by my pre-op personal trainer and my post-op physcial therapist.

"As I look back over my life, and I think things over, I can truly say that I've been blessed" I'm headed in to get my labs drawn for my one year appointment that is coming up very soon! I am just in shock over the fact that I was able to take this journey. I am so happy with the decision I made over a year ago to pursue WLS. I would have to say, without a doubt, that is the best and hardest decision I have ever made. There were days when I wanted to give up and had eaten badly, but I got back on the saddle and rode this one out! This morning I stepped on the scale to discover that I have lost 98lbs! That is 4 additional lbs to the last time I checked. I now completely understand that this is life-changing. I will never stop maintaining what I have worked so hard for. I have spent $$$ on vitamins, co-pays, supplements, medicines, etc. I am invested and I want to protect this investment of good health with living healthy. I feel like a different person when I step into public places. I am no longer as insecure and ashamed as I walked around feeling for years. I feel like I might cry through my entire appt this week. They have a picture of me the day before surgery. I have not seen it, but I know I am bigger than my license picture. As a reward to myself (and getting tired of people focusing and questioning that I am the person on my license) I am going to the Secretary of State to get a new picture and new license mailed to me. This will be another little happy gift to myself. It truly is the NSV that make me so content. Congratulations to the people that are celebrating their one year surgery anniversaries with me this month! I know I was on this site 24/7 as I rested after surgery. I am so appreciative for all the great advice on the blogs and chat rooms here. I couldn't have made it so well through my first month without this site. I started back when this site was verticalsleevetalk.com. Thank you everyone for the encouragement when I needed it, and the advice to give me discipline. I am emotional now just writing this. We have all made it over hurdles that we didn't know we had the strength to do.

Today is Day 5 of my pre-op shake diet. I'm really growing to dread "meal time". I guess it doesn't help that I've also been sick the past few days. All I want is a little soup. I've been eating my vegetables for dinner. I never thought I'd ever be looking forward to eating asparagus and cauliflower!
 
I'm doing this for a reason. It will all be worth it when I start dropping pounds. This is the first time in years that I actually have a chance to get down to a reasonable size. Right now my first goal isn't even getting out of plus size clothes sizes. I've been shopping in plus size stores for so long! It really doesn't bother me. My first goal is to be able to shop in the regular section of stores that sell XXL like Old Navy or Target. I guess that would make my first goal a size 18. From here at 4X, that seems like a long way off, but I know I can do it!

Hello everyone. I haven't been writing lately but I have been reading. Sorry, just been busy with life.
Today I go for a 3 month check up and I failed. How did I fail? I didn't lose any weight but stayed within 3-5 pounds of my last visit. When I go and get a fill it is very tiny under .4cc. My doctor goes slow.
 
I have not been to the gym since November but I pay every month.
Joke of the day: What do gyms call people like me, who pay and don't go? Profit!!
 
I had an ugly thing on my forehead and had it removed the other day and have 2 blue stitches. So right now bending over makes me a little dizzy. But I have gym clothes on. I bought a new 'outfit' yesterday. The real Arlene likes outfits not separates. I am nuts. When I skied many moons ago (I learned at 40) my skis, boots, poles and my ski outfits all matched and had the same colors. I am nuts. I am so nutty that I have sox to match sweaters. Orange stripes. I buy men's sox because I wear a size 12 shoe.
 
So soon I will be at the doctor's and he won't be pleased with my weight not being down. Everyone have a great weekend.
Please cheer for the NE Patriots!!!! We need a super bowl, because we are Boston Strong. Speaking of Boston Strong, that came after the marathon bombings, the RMV just approved a new license plate with Boston Strong on it! Some of the money will go to the marathon survivors.
Enjoy your weekend.
Arlene

Hello everyone. I haven't been writing lately but I have been reading. Sorry, just been busy with life.
Today I go for a 3 month check up and I failed. How did I fail? I didn't lose any weight but stayed within 3-5 pounds of my last visit. When I go and get a fill it is very tiny under .4cc. My doctor goes slow.
 
I have not been to the gym since November but I pay every month.
Joke of the day: What do gyms call people like me, who pay and don't go? Profit!!
 
I had an ugly thing on my forehead and had it removed the other day and have 2 blue stitches. So right now bending over makes me a little dizzy. But I have gym clothes on. I bought a new 'outfit' yesterday. The real Arlene likes outfits not separates. I am nuts. When I skied many moons ago (I learned at 40) my skis, boots, poles and my ski outfits all matched and had the same colors. I am nuts. I am so nutty that I have sox to match sweaters. Orange stripes. I buy men's sox because I wear a size 12 shoe.
 
So soon I will be at the doctor's and he won't be pleased with my weight not being down. Everyone have a great weekend.
Please cheer for the NE Patriots!!!! We need a super bowl, because we are Boston Strong. Speaking of Boston Strong, that came after the marathon bombings, the RMV just approved a new license plate with Boston Strong on it! Some of the money will go to the marathon survivors.
Enjoy your weekend.
Arlene

I have not been around as much lately and several LBT friends have asked why……
 
I was banded in February of 2012, lost 80 pounds in 10 months and have maintained that weight until I had a tummy tuck on Halloween…
 
After the surgery I had 2 drains, they were removed after 2 weeks. Within 5 days, my tummy filled up with fluid and my doctor drained it (this is like drilling for oil with a really BIG needle….. not fun!). Within about 5 days my tummy was full again so my doctor put a drain back in. The next week the area above my belly button filled up with fluid and I had another drain put in just below my bra line.
 
About a week later I had the upper drain removed & that issue was resolved, BUT….
 
I was still accumulating over 50cc of fluid a day from my lower drain. Doc said the magic number was less than 20cc a day for 2 days in a row, well that wasn’t happening. So on Monday doc flushed Ethanol thru the tubing of my drain into the pocket in my tummy (100cc total). This is supposed to irritate the area between my skin & abdomen wall and cause it to stick together. Today (Thursday) I am still getting 30cc of fluid a day from my drain…… I go back to the doctor Monday.
 
My options are, do the flush again and if that doesn’t work…..another surgery. Ugh
 
Complications happen, I know that. But, how has this affected me mentally? Well, I can’t exercise (every time I do the amount of fluid goes up), I can’t go in my hot tub with my husband (open incision), Have this glamorous drain to carry around in my pocket….. IT SUCKS!
 
And I have gotten very depressed over it. I have disconnected from my life lines (Local support group, LBT wait I mean Bariatric Pal, and my family) Yes I looked to food for comfort. (We won’t even add the holidays on top of all this….)
So you wonder….how is my weight? I am about 10 pound over my original goal weight (I weigh between 177-180, depends on the day). But even more important is how I am mentally? I will be honest, I am struggling. I am pissed, why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? WHY? Oh WHY? OH WHY????? Full on pitty me party here!!!!
 
This is my confession, I am not the perfect role model. I struggle, I have pitty me parties, I ask why me…… and so I stayed away from my support. Too many people saw me as inspiration. How can I be inspiration when I am like this????
 
I am taking my complications day by day. I am not giving up (& yes the tummy tuck was worth it). I just don’t think I can motivate anyone right now.

I cant believe it but i have not eaten not even a bite of processed food in over 2 weeks.
 
The only drinks i have had are cold water and Almond Milk.
 
My whole family jumped on board, so we sold all our unopened processed food to friends, and stocked up on healthy spelt and almond flour, rapadura/panela sugar and coconut sugar, and a heap of fresh veggies and some fruit (we are not big fruit fans, we like it but dont crave it) . I and my eldest son drink almond milk as dairy milk makes us feel sick, so instead of soy milk we turned to the healthier and much more tastier Almond Milk. My youngest son and my husband drink full cream dairy milk, as fat free milk has a higher sugar content and has traces of white paint (as it needs to look like milk since all the fat/white stuff has been removed) and the full cream has healthy fats that the body can process easier anyway.
 
I have stuck to my high protein 1/2 cup of food per meal every day and so far in 5 weeks have lost 16 pounds. So happy with that effort.
 
When i went to say hi to my medical clinic staff, they were amazed by the transformation my face and belly are making. The nurse said my facial skin looks so beautiful and healthy, so i told her about going off all processed foods and drinking almost a gallon of water a day and she was so happy for me.
 
A few other people commented how great my skin looks.
 
I am so excited with this change and have so so SOOOO much more energy.

Yeah I am at a plateau..... I am not to upset about it but damn it! I am so close to my high school weight it not even funny! I also found out that my Wii Fit has been lying to me as well this difference is 3 pounds but when I used the quick weigh option it will acturate. I will a little disappointed at first but then I realize that this has been the lowest I have ever been in years!
 
Okay confession time
I admit I haven't been making the best food choices and lately I've been adding wine as a food group. However I've been working out either 45 to 1 hour each day.
 
My plan of action
Stop drinking wine every night and cut it down to twice a week.
 
Change my workout routine.
 
Review my fitness pal diary to review my eating habbits.
 
Start planning my meals through out the week and remember Protein Protein and Protein
 
I need to get to ball going anyway I have to train for my first 5K run in April.
 
I am still happy with my weight loss and I know for a fact I will never weigh over 200 pounds again! This is a promise I made to myself
 
God is good and I still love my band!
 
Thanks for reading!

Hi there...
 
HumbleMom here.
Am Pre-Op RNY - waiting for insurance approval. Most likely will have surgery next month (2/2014.)
Was born and raised in Memphis, TN and am still here.
Have been a wife for almost 21 years ~ looking forward the next 21+.
Mother to 3 children, one of whom passed away at 8yrs ~ more about this in future blogs.
Am happy in general ~ my life is full of love and laughter, family and friends and all those little positive intangibles we tend to take for granted.
My faith is intact, meaning my relationship with God has weathered the death of my son. God and I are good ~ I have MANY questions for Him, but I also have to thank Him for all He's done for me and for all He continues to do for me.
For financial reasons, I dabble in cybersecurity. For fun, I read, cook (sometimes healthy, sometimes not), needlepoint and am learning to play Bridge.
We have three dogs, all different sizes, all rescues, all quirky and all amazingly lovable.

You can see from my profile that I'm a big girl. Like just about everyone else here, I didn't get this way overnight.My weight crept up on me over time, over pregnancies, over typical stress, over unbelievable stress and over many a wonderful meal shared with good friends.
 
 
Also like just about everyone else, I'm a very well educated obese person.
I KNOW Weight Watchers inside and out and have been very successful with it over the years, having lost (and regained) myself several times over.
Jenny Craig and I have been good friends, albeit never for long.
I've tried Nutrisystem and Medifast ~ ordered the products, received them, organized the cupboards to house them, tried them for a few days and then promptly sold the remaining items on eBay.
I've walked, done couch-to-5k, done pilates, attended exactly ONE Bikram yoga class (WHAT was I thinking??? If you are a Bikram fan, my hat's off to you!), used a personal trainer, worked out in a members only gym, worked out at my office gym, walked some more and then walked even more.

And like just about everyone else, each new this-will-change-my-life endeavor has proven successful (except the Bikram yoga!). I've lost weight, I've toned muscles I never knew I had and I've increased my endurance more than I ever thought possible. UNTIL… I wasn't losing or toning anymore because I'd stopped. I'd stopped because I ~ well, that's part of this puzzle. Why DID I stop? I don't know. I seriously need to find a counselor who can help me with this strange dance of mine with food, exercise and health. Know of anyone in the Memphis area? Please share!
 
 
So, long story short, I'm hoping this surgery will be the missing tool from my arsenal of knowledge needed to become a healthier me. While it will be nice to look more attractive, I'm here for other reasons.
I want to be able to hike and climb volcanoes with my sons. (True story ~ more later!)
I want to quit the daily meds for cholesterol, blood pressure, GERD and depression. Or maybe I should say I want to trade those meds for vitamins, calcium and b12 supplements!
I don't want my family to bury me because I literally ate myself to death. Much better to perish on the side of a volcano, right?
I'm tired of walking into a large department store filled with beautiful clothes and being relegated to shop from the Women's sizes hidden away in the tiny corner of the basement. I mean, come on. NOTHING tastes that good! I have 'eaten' my way into that corner and I'm tired of it. Those clothes in the other 90% of the store are much, much cuter! I want to shop from THOSE racks. Actually, just knowing I have the choice to shop from those racks is enough for me. I'll probably end up at the consignment store anyway.
 

Well, that's me in a nutshell. Obviously a fan of lists! I need to get to know others here. I need support and I want to support you! I need to know I'm not the only one who can't stand a certain type of chewable bariatric vitamin!
 
Won't you please be my neighbor?

Helllooo!
 
Twice, I spent at least 20 minutes swiping out a blog entry on my phone and then I couldn't get it to publish. So here I am to try again on my computer. The other entry was about a couple of embarrassing situations that helped lead me WLS. I think though, that I'd like to give a little introduction about me and how I got to this point.
 
My name is Leigh (rhymes with eeeee) (One time I had a guy ask me if my name was pronounced Lay because if you put an "S" on the front of my name it'd spell sleigh.) I am 40 years old. I live in Louisville, KY. (Yes, I wear shoes. No, I don't own a horse.) Louisville is a mid-size city. They like to boast that it's the 16th largest city in the nation. Whatever. I have been married for 8 years. I have been an RN for about 5 years. Before marriage and my nursing career, I was a diligent party girl. But, I've settled down in to a cozy little, mostly drama free, life with my husband and our two fur babies.
 
I had various times growing up where I was chubby, but I don't remember ever being made fun of. In high school, I ran around with the popular party crowd and I generally had a good experience. The only thing was I always felt like I was different on the inside than those people I ran around with. By the time I graduated high school, I was in a size 14 and I thought I was fat. Man, lookin back on pictures of me, I was perfect! But I was 5'9" and all my friends were 5'4" and a size 4. Plus, for reasons I can't fathom now, my mother was always trying to bribe me to lose weight. I'm sure some of it was out of concern, maybe some was to try to help me when I complained I was fat. I don't know. I always felt like she was so concerned about appearances (still is) and that somehow she was ashamed of me.
 
I started gaining weight as soon as I got out of high school and over the years I went from a 14 to a 22 by the time I was 30. I probably weighed about 250. I had pretty much always embraced my curves and didn't worry, but when I reached 250, I decided to lose weight. (I had done various other diets over the years.) That time, I lost about 70-80 pounds. I got back into a 14 and I felt great! That time, I just started walking one day. I didn't walk fast, I just took a stroll. Eventually, I worked myself up to where I could run 3 miles. It took me about a year. After a few months, I watched what I ate. It was a great time. I felt empowered. I felt beautiful. But then, life happened. I got a job with a different schedule that wasn't conducive to exercise and I also got into a long term relationship (hubby) and got lazy. And then, over the next ten years, I blew up to a whopping 295 pounds. (Side note, I have known the hubby for many years, so he knew me before I lost weight. He has always loved me, no matter what size I am).
 
Over the last few years, my size really started to affect my life. I didn't want to go out, because I hated my clothes and I hated the way I looked in them. When I was in nursing school, I was also going through a big depression and went on antidepressants which helped me gain the weight. This last year, though, I spent a lot of time mortified by my size. It really affected my self esteem. I knew I had to do something about it.
 
I'm an RN at a big hospital in the city. I have always worked in cardiac areas and I see, every day, the effects of weight on humans. It is bad. Every time a 300 or 400 pound person came in and we put them on the table for a procedure, I would see myself on that table. I have a very strong history of heart attacks and diabetes in my family. Every day, in front, of me was a reminder of what I was doing to myself.
 
I had thought about Lap Band surgery for a couple of years, but could never get myself to ride across town to our sister hospital and go to the seminar. This last May, I had a couple of very embarassing experiences when I went on a convention trip with a few of my coworkers. One involving the seatbelt on the plane and the other being talked into hiking up the side of a mountain. It truely mortified me. Something. Had. To. Happen.
 
One day, this past September, I got on the website for the Bariatric program and lo and behold! You could watch a video of the seminar instead of having to go in. So I did. And I filled out the info below. Two days later, they called me. I was lucky to have it so easy from there. They sent me a packet, which I filled out and returned. They called me a week later, said my insurance was approved. I had a 10 minute appt with the surgeon on October 15th. About 2 weeks later, I had a 5 minute appt with a psychiatrist. They made an appt for me to come in for labs, a barium swallow, and education on Dec 6th. I had one more 10 minute appt with the surgeon on Dec 11th. Then, on December 18th, I was banded!
 
I had quite a bit of discomfort after the surgery and it took me a good couple of weeks to feel normal again. But now, about 4 weeks later, I feel great. I do feel that I have some restriction right off the bat from the surgery. But, is it really restriction? Or can I just not eat as much because I kept to the prescribed diets, watch my protions and calories, and have been practicing getting to know the difference between hungry, not hungry, and full? Maybe a little of all.
 
My husband has been at my side this whole time and we have completely turned around our eating habits. We threw out all of the junk and most of the carbs and have been eating a mainly high protein diet. He has been exercising a lot and I have started walking on the treadmill 4 days a week for 30 minutes. Most of all, we are staying away from sweets and NOT EATING FAST FOOD. We were really bad fast food junkies.
 
I've lost 20 pounds since I started the preop diet. I'm feeling really good. Today was a small setback because I have a really bad head cold and I don't know if I have the energy to walk. But I'm not going to let it bother me. If I feel good tomorrow, I will walk tomorrow.
 
People get to down on themselves when they "slip up" and have something sweet or high calorie. I say, don't let this get you down. You have to "treat" yourself every now and then. Just don't let it become a habit. Make your new habit to be eating healthy and feeling good about yourself. Plan the times you get to eat what you want. For instance, I love to go out to restaurants. We are going to go out every other Friday. When I'm there, am I going to eat fried foods and carbs and desserts? No. I will make a sensible choices. But it will still be fun and nice not to cook. It will be a reward for staying on track for two weeks.
 
I can't believe that I didn't do this sooner. Why did I spend all those years miserable and overweight? Well, I guess we all have to reach that point where we are ready to take control. If you're not ready and not truely comitted, success will be much harder. I have also accepted that my band, Brunhilde (that's her name), is only a tool. I have to make choices that are good for me. I have to committ to change.
 
And things like this website and forum. Visiting and reading other people's stories and advice. I know it will lead to my success and help me keep on track. Do your research. Know what you're getting into. And when you're ready, make the step toward taking control of your life. It's the best thing I have ever done, and it will be for you, too.
 
And to all of the veterans, thank you! Your success and advice make this a place worth visiting.

415 to under 235 I had to do this twice so Never again and Never forget!
 
About 8 years ago i found myself over 400 lbs. I wont put blame but I do have to say I was in an abusive relationship with a women that drank.. So I ate and ate and ate some more. I Decided one January morning that everything was going to change. I advised her unless she stopped drinking it was over. SImple as that and i walked out the door of my home in NH and started walking.. Every day i walked and walked a little longer every week i would increase my walking . Well come May I had done away with her and it was all about me at that point. I ended up getting to about 250 lbs on my own. No surgery this time.. I was happy but had a ton of excess skin. I did my legwork and found a plastic surgeon who did 2 seperate surgeries. My Upper body and my lower body. I will say the upper body surgery was not to bad to remove the "man boobs". The Lower Body the Pandectomy procedure was something I would never do again and glad I dont have to.. Very painful procedure and a scar all the way around my body. Im glad I had it done and im glad the second time around my tummy went back to being flat as a board.
So back to my story.. I had both surgeries feeling good no issues and then one day out of the blue, and ill never forget it was a couple of days before Thanksgiving I stopped going to the gym.. Dont ask me why I have no clue why i did this. I was invisible. I was working out 6-7 days per week and felt good and i just stopped! The weight started going back on. You all know the struggles of a YOYO person. Up and down and up and down. Well soon after that my father passed away. Very very mixed emotions and a heavy heart. I balooned back up to 415lbs + or -.. I stayed that way for the last couple of years.. At almost 45 years old I didnt know what to do. I knew I needed help. I didnt think i could do it on my own again. I found Dr Jiser the chief bariatric surgeon at Lowell general Hospital in Ma. He advised me I was a great candidate for the "Sleeve". he said i would see amazing results and the sleeve was slowly catching up to the bypass as far as results go, So I went for it. I started in April at 415lbs. I got down to 372 on Surgery date June 24th 2013. I kissed my wife and my mom and said lets do this. i was dedicated. I worked out and walked and walked and walked and then started lifting weights again. Well here we are Jan 11th 2014 9 months after taking the initial step in April.. I weighed in just the other day at 232lbs. Thats -183lbs in 9 months. Amazing. Even Dr Jiser said i was so far ahead of schedule. i went from a 52inch waist to a 34. I went from a 4x shirt to a large. I am off all medications!!! I will never ever go back. I am happy. all the frightening stupid things that "NORMAL" people can do I can now do. We all know how frightful it was to get on an airplane or go to a show. Nothing worse then needing an extended seat belt or wondering if you would fit in the movie theater seat. Well No More. never ever again will i be worried about having to get an aisle seat so i wouldnt bother the person next to me. i recently went back to Aruba. We go everyyear and the reactions were funny and amazing. Hardly anyone knew who I was. It was funny but it showed me i was such a different person. The weight loss has also opened my eyes to the discrimination we all face or faced. We all know that people looked at us "heavy" people differently.. I have noticed so many people have a different attitude towards me. It is for the better now but it also shows me how my weight before made people discriminate against me. Well here I am about 20lbs from my high school weight. I want so badly to be able to take this and help others. Id love to start a support group.. Id love to be a counselor at say a weight watchers but amazingly enough to do that I would have to weigh about 180lbs. Yes that is not happening. I have never been that low and will never get that low. I would look unhealthy. Im trying to break through and figure out ways to reach out to people in similiar situations and help. This weight loss has changed my whole life. I will never look back but I will never forget!!
 
Christian Zaccone
Zacconechris@yahoo.com