dylanmiles23

This rose bush is in front of my house.
 
It stands about 10 feet tall.
 
Love Texas in the spring!!

It been almost a year since my band as of tomrow it will be 23 more days till my one year. Gosh my life has changed. I am now a size 4 /6 I am now 129.8 lbs> I am also now a full time Zumba / Group exercise instructor/ personal trainer. Yes life has change but it not about how I changed it about the lesson I learned alog the way. The Lesson I want to share with you today. The lesson I had to apply to life to my life to make me a success.
 
First lesson become uncountable.It the things we hate the most the things that are the hardest for us, that do us the most good. A great example is the frist time I tried Zumba I hated it I was so bad I had two left feet. My frist thought was I never going back I hate this but i went back now i am Zumba Educational Specialist I am dance ever day and I share my love with orthers all the time But this lesson needs to keep being taught. The other day my trainer asked me if i did my 20 mins on the stair climber I said i hate it I call it the Michen of evil and she said to me Laura Thas just why you must do it. t The things that you hate the most do you the most good. I knew she was right.
 
The Next lesson Is the frist person who needs to believe they can Has to be you. If you want to change you need to say Yes I can. The words no I can't has to be gone we spent years say NO I can't exercise eat right making all excesses . If you do not belive you can that you wont you stay just stuck were you are. Relive you can be the change.This take streath. More then physical streath this was one of the hardest thing i ever did To believe in me. I am worth being believed in. and because I belive in me others do too and I have created a network of people who believe in me because I do
 
The last lesson I will share is Be the butterfly. Butterfly change into something beutey but each on is unquine diffent. Each one has to learn to spered there wings fly. And be free. One you embracess change and become fee ro it you wiil become beatful something everyone will love

I was reading about how some people give up and then go back to their doctor for help, which is wonderful. Then there are the people who blame. I have a cousin, Ilana (real name) a know it all RN, who had bypass surgery about 8-10 years ago and is now over weight, again. She blames her surgery for failing. She likes to snack, have her afternoon wine and a cocktail when dining out. Her mother had the bypass over 25 years ago and she also gained all her weight back. (she passed away from cancer). Why do people have surgery and then blame the surgery for failing and not themselves. Ilana went back to her doctor and said the surgery failed, could he re-operate. He said, no. Good for him. We are given a TOOL and we have to learn to use it and respect it. If we don't then we are back to being over weight and it is our fault, no one else.
Yesterday I had Chinese food for lunch, had a few other bad choices during the day, my fault, I gained or retained fluid from the sodium, my fault, can't blame anyone else for me, failing.
I got the Band 8 months ago today and I think I am doing ok. Not a super fast weight loss but a decent one. I see my doctor in a few weeks and I do lose every time which I like and he does too.
Have a wonderful weekend. Happy Passover and Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates.
Arlene

Since I work about 12+ hours a day, I am always grateful for assistance with the housework. I was quite thrilled the other day to come home to find out that my mother completed two loads of wash for me. However, it quickly turned to dread when I discovered that my black dress pants that I wear to work were put into the dryer. Now, let me fill you in a little bit about my dress pants. We usually have a battle in the morning with zipping them up. I lay on the bed, wiggle around, and feel the pain throb on my finger as I try to get that zipper up. I would NEVER put them in the dryer as the heat from the dryer is not my friend! So I had to break down and wiggle my butt into Spanx and thought I had won the battle with my pants. Well...sort of... It was still a challenge. This is what I usually deal with and what I have been dealing with for quite some time.
 
I was banded on March 4, took 2 weeks off from work, and during the first week back at work, I avoided my black pants since I was still sore in my stomach area. So here it is...Friday, March 30, and I have run out of options for clothing. There in my closet, looking ever so quiet (and a bit afraid of the battle that may ensue) are my black pants. Ugh! I am going to hate this
beginning to a Friday morning I thought to myself. Well, here it goes. I decided not to go with the Spanx as sometimes it is not all that comfortable for sitting too long and I knew I had a meeting to attend that day. Obviously, I had been weighing myself since March 4 and thought, hmmmm... let's
see if 20 pounds has made a difference in my world. (I have 130 more to lose...not real sure if 20 really made difference yet.)
 
I put both legs in those pants, pulled them up, and got ready for the wrestling match on the bed. Much to my surprise, they zipped. I don't mean just zipped up....I mean they zipped without a 10 minute worm dance on my bed! I was thrilled! Beyond thrilled! These pants haven't seen a dryer for quite sometime so I just know it was thrilled too! No one at work has noticed the weight loss and I really don't expect anyone to notice until I buy new clothes and lose around 40 lbs. But my pants and I knew better that particular day. We were winning together!
 
As I shut off the light in my bedroom, I thought I heard a small voice say, "I'm next" from the pair of pants (Size 16) that I wore several years ago when I lost 70 lbs. Yes...my friend...you are next! Just stay in that drawer a little bit longer. I am working on getting you out and about as soon as I can...and I promise we won't have a battle!

I was reading about how some people give up and then go back to their doctor for help, which is wonderful. Then there are the people who blame. I have a cousin, Ilana (real name) a know it all RN, who had bypass surgery about 8-10 years ago and is now over weight, again. She blames her surgery for failing. She likes to snack, have her afternoon wine and a cocktail when dining out. Her mother had the bypass over 25 years ago and she also gained all her weight back. (she passed away from cancer). Why do people have surgery and then blame the surgery for failing and not themselves. Ilana went back to her doctor and said the surgery failed, could he re-operate. He said, no. Good for him. We are given a TOOL and we have to learn to use it and respect it. If we don't then we are back to being over weight and it is our fault, no one else.
Yesterday I had Chinese food for lunch, had a few other bad choices during the day, my fault, I gained or retained fluid from the sodium, my fault, can't blame anyone else for me, failing.
I got the Band 8 months ago today and I think I am doing ok. Not a super fast weight loss but a decent one. I see my doctor in a few weeks and I do lose every time which I like and he does too.
Have a wonderful weekend. Happy Passover and Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates.
Arlene

I was reading about how some people give up and then go back to their doctor for help, which is wonderful. Then there are the people who blame. I have a cousin, Ilana (real name) a know it all RN, who had bypass surgery about 8-10 years ago and is now over weight, again. She blames her surgery for failing. She likes to snack, have her afternoon wine and a cocktail when dining out. Her mother had the bypass over 25 years ago and she also gained all her weight back. (she passed away from cancer). Why do people have surgery and then blame the surgery for failing and not themselves. Ilana went back to her doctor and said the surgery failed, could he re-operate. He said, no. Good for him. We are given a TOOL and we have to learn to use it and respect it. If we don't then we are back to being over weight and it is our fault, no one else.
Yesterday I had Chinese food for lunch, had a few other bad choices during the day, my fault, I gained or retained fluid from the sodium, my fault, can't blame anyone else for me, failing.
I got the Band 8 months ago today and I think I am doing ok. Not a super fast weight loss but a decent one. I see my doctor in a few weeks and I do lose every time which I like and he does too.
Have a wonderful weekend. Happy Passover and Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates.
Arlene

Another week down ... But for whatever reason I had a hard time with cravings ?
 
.... Stop... Rewind...
 
During my recent fill... The PA suggested I go down to 1200 calories a day to jump start my metabolism and go on a liquid diet for a week or two :/ Well I was pretty good, but the last few days I feel like a bear !!! I have been cravings the worst things like chocolate and greasy stuff But I refuse to eat fast food ... So to get my "grease fix", I fried an egg in Pam ...but lost control twice this week and had 2 peanut butter cups (1 pkg) and a small bag of M&Ms. Ugh !!! I'm also having issues with soup.... I never realized how much sodium they have :/ If I personally have soup once a day, I'm going to balloon up. So, I've decided to cut down on soup.
 
On the bright side of things ... I'm down another 2 lbs. I felt it should have been more ...but I'll take it.
Also, I am actually get full on smaller amounts of food.
 
Goals:
 
Hit the dance studio 4 x a week
Drink more water
And decide if I need a fiber supplement for the plumbing lol

I have noticed I have more gas now than ever it doesn't smell at all.

When people fall in love they are head over heels with each other. They can't get enough of each other and decide we are in this for the long haul. As time goes on life changes and that in love feeling changes to a new love. People have to work at it because if it goes stale then the only thing that happens is either divorce or break up. People don't stay married for 50 or 60 years because it was always easy. Work, children, stress and everything in between come in to play and if you give up then you are giving in.
 
When you choose to have weight loss surgery you are entering in a new relationship. In the beginning you are all gung ho over the band, bypass, or sleeve because you are getting results. Then your weight loss starts to deminish, it goes slow and that feeling of giving up plagues many. That in love feeling with your band becomes stale and sometimes obsolete.
 
To keep your love alive with your band you must make an effort to have a healthy relationship with it, not give in because the going gets rough or you're not losing as fast as you want too. You have to change up your diet and not give in to eating the same old boring foods day in and day out. If you don't work with it or for it, it won't work for you. We had a good relationship with food before the surgery so you now have to have a good relationship with food now that you have the band.
 
The only way that you are going to let this make you or break you, is your determination that your relationship with the band is going to be ever lasting. We don't give up on our children because they don't behave well, we don't give up on our jobs because they stress us, we don't give up on our loved ones because they are ill and we can't give up on our bands just because at the moment the scale won't move or we are having a hard time in life, stressed, dealing with things that we don't want too that would make us eat before.
 
Our relationship now is different. It will in time give you life, health and happiness if you are willing to stay married to it for the long haul. If you want the band to work, then develop a loving healthy relationship with it. Don't let it get stale. Keep your momentum alive and think about why you did this.
 
It is only up to you and you alone to make this relationship work. If you don't then you will be right back where you started. It's not always easy to have a new relationship but it's not impossible to have a healthy relationship with food.
 
Love yourself enough to make this work because the benefits are priceless. If you ever doubt that you can't or won't succeed then its up to you to know that you are worth more then that.

I love me some Italian food, but Italian food tends to be calorie loaded and heavy. I have been wanting Chicken Alfredo lately, but knew I shouldn't. So I attempted to make it from scratch tonight and it was fabulous. Here is the recipe that I came up with:
 
Pasta-
Spaggetti Squash cooked in the microwave
 
 
Chicken-
4 chicken tenders sautéed in a skillet with olive oil
 
Alfredo Sauce-
3 cloves of garlic minced (use more if you like or less)
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons I Can't Believe it's not Butter
1.5 heaping tablespoons of all purpose flour
1 3/4 cups 2% Milk (you can use 1% I just had 2%)
splash of balsamic vinegar
salt and pepper to taste
1 tablespoon of splenda
 
put the evoo, butter and garlic in a sauce pan cook on med heat for about 3 min stiring
add the flour and stir until incorporated
add milk and bring to a boil
add salt, pepper, vigegar and splenda and stir
 
cut heat off and let sit
 
chop half a bag of baby spinach (I used the ninja chopper I have)
 
Once chicken is cooked add the sauce (if it is to thick add water to thin it down). Add in spinach and stir. Stread spaggetti squash with a fork add to chicken and sauce and stir.
 
Eat and enjoy!!
 
 
This was a WONDERFUL meal!! The hubs and I both enjoyed it. It was enough for him and myself to eat dinner and have lunch tomorrow (He eat bigger portions than me)
 
 

I went for my 5th fill this morning, so today is liquids and tomorrow is mushies.
 
Normal for me is to pick up a quart of milk and a quart of OJ to supplement my shakes and get me through the day because I am so freaking hungry. Just got out of spin class and sat down at my desk and opened a shake and started reading the forum. Pretty soon half my shake was gone and I picked it up for another sip, and Mistress Band said "Sorry Bud, but you are done". Now, she didn't say it in a mean way, she didn't bring out the spiked heels, I just looked at the shake and thought to myself, ewwww! (And I love my shakes).
 
Interesting...

I post this here so I can refer back to it often.
 
1) Where you are in life isn’t a measure of your full potential. It’s a measure of how you’ve played life’s cards SO FAR.
 
2) It’s never too late to play your hand a different way.
 
3) If you challenge YOURSELF every day, you’ll have more experience when LIFE challenges YOU.
 
4) Just like muscles need to be broken down to get stronger, sometimes we need to be broken down mentally and
emotionally to get stronger in their respective senses as well.
 
5) Sometimes the people that you thought were good in your life were actually the people stepping on your head.
 
6) Surrounding yourself with positive and uplifting people, thoughts, pictures, quotes, experiences, etc. is the way to
FEEL like you are living a positive and uplifting life. The same is true for the opposite.
 
7) HUGE personal successes start with a LOT of smaller efforts that build a solid foundation for that success.
 
8) When you don’t believe in yourself, other people don’t believe in you either. When you DO believe in yourself, people
get blown away by everything you accomplish.
 
9) Some of the same people that see you turn your life around for the better will try to bring you back down to their level
in order to feel good at the level they are STILL at.
 
10) When those people start to succeed in bringing you down, FIGHT HARDER! KEEP your goals, and know that you
STILL have MORE potential to unleash!
 
11) NEVER GIVE UP! When you give up, you are saying, “I’m not worth it.”
 
12) KNOW that you ARE worth it!
 
13) Life isn’t easy or fair. The people that fare the best are the ones that adapt in difficult situations. Teach yourself to
adapt! Get creative!
 
14) The same routine yields the same results. If you’re unhappy, CHANGE something.
15) Patience!
16) “When you were in high school, college, etc…” < Stop living in the past! Live in the present!
 
17) Stop making excuses! Admit you’re flawed like the rest of the world, and figure out a way to be the BEST version of
yourself.
 
18) The best version of YOURSELF? What is that? Figure it out. Experiment. Stop looking to others for easy answers to
YOUR complicated personal battles.
 
19) Be proud of yourself!
 
20) Taking pride, and being a self-absorbed tool bag are NOT the same. So relax, and talk about your accomplishments
a little. It’s OK! You might even inspire someone else!
 
21) Stop worrying about failure, and “what ifs.” Focus on what you WILL do instead. When you decide to do something,
you find a way to do it. When you worry about failing, you find a way to do IT too.
 
22) Taking care of YOU should be a PRIORITY. It doesn’t make you selfish. It means you have self-respect. Besides,
everyone knows you can’t be fully present for others when you’re not for yourself. Win-win.
 
23) Take out the trash. You’re not a dumpster, so get rid of the garbage in your life. (Whatever that garbage is- people,
food, habits…etc.)
 
24) Allow yourself to be human and have “bad days.” You’re not a superhero. Get over it.
 
25) When you DO have bad days, find a way to re-inspire yourself. Even if it’s just by making a list of things you’ve
learned in life and sharing it in on the internet
 
26)Patience!
 
27)Remove the Drama from your life!

Today was my monthly appointment at True Results. They always have the patients fill out a questionnaire prior to seeing the NP. It asks what your typical meals are, the size (1/2 cup, 1 cup, 1 ½ cups, etc), what exercise you are doing, and so forth. I answered the questions honestly. I am eating 1 to 1 ½ cups per meal and getting hungry between meals.
 
I am happy to say that I am maintaining my weight of 169 pounds. So I don’t know if it is the head or not.
 
When I met with the NP we discussed this and she told me a story about how the head messes with us.
She had a transfer patient come in (they always pull all the fluid out of the band to verify the amount on transfer patients). She pulls out the fluid and puts it right back in (doesn’t add or remove any of the fluid). Two days later the patient calls her saying “I don’t know what you did but I have not restriction.” She has the patient come back in (concerned of a leak), pulls out all the fluid out again (the amount was exactly as it was 2 days earlier) and puts it back (again not adding or removing any fluid). Two days later the patient calls her saying “I am so tight I can’t eat anything” Nothing changed as far as the amount of fluid in her band; it was all in the head. lol
 
I did get a small fill and instructions to get my timer back out and time my bits, put a dime next to my plate for a visual on the size of my bits, and most important, come to the support group on Thursday to help get a hold of this head game I got going on.
 
Maintains is not a walk in the park!

In the WLS journey we will meet all sorts of people: negitive nellies, debbie downers, encouragers, motivators, ect. We will find people at all stages who tell us we are making a mistake, or we will not succeed or we will gain it all back. Then we will find people who will encourage and motivate us to continue on the journey and keep working hard.
 
However, I think the worst enemy we run accross is ourselves. I have long know that I was my worst enemy. I am harder on myself than anyone else could ever be. For many years though I took a break from honestly looking at my weight. Once I did confront it and realize where I was and I had to do something about it, I have been really hard on myself. Maybe I don't forgive myself for allowing me to get to the 240's.
 
Now I am always second guessing myself- as I losing enough, what am I doing wrong, did I eat to much, did I eat enough. Honestly, the first months weren't to bad, the weight easily melted off and it was a true honeymoon period. Now, I am in the trenches fighting for ever ounce. I am always asking myself, am I drinking enough, am I eating to much - to little, am I moving enough. Can I, Will I?
 
The bottom line is I, me, myself is the ONLY one who can make this journey a success or failure. My doctor and NUT want me to succeed, hey it only makes them look good. The negitive people want me to fail. However, I am the only one with the power to do it or not. I must make the decisions to eat as I am told, to eat better higher quality foods, to move more and sit less.
 
There are people on this site that have done nothing short of AMAZING!! Amazing isn't a strong enough word here. I mean Missy- come on- 200 lbs in a little over a year- WOW that is fantastic. Carolina girl- 100lbs in 9 months- fabulous. Then there are the people on here that complain about the band not working or questioning is it okay to eat a whole pizza or did they just hurt their band by doing it. Then there are people, that I count myself in, that are trucking along- that aren't having grand losses, but aren't gaining either.
 
I have to say I am the one to blame for not doing as well as some. While I do move more than I did, I don't move as much as I could. When I got home yesterday, I should have taken my fat hind parts and hit the elliptical- instead I took it to the chair and relaxed due to a exhausting day at work. Those are the days when I need someone to slap my hind parts and tell me to get the h$%% up and MOVE.
 
I also am not as strick in my food as others. I was afraid that if I cut certain things out of my diet (carbs) that I would certainly relapse to being over weight. I wanted to hit a balance of eating anything I want just not as much. Well, that has worked pretty good (lost 50+ lbs), but I am starting to think after a 3 month SLLLLLOOOOOWWWW down in loss that I may have to reevaluate the situation. What can I cut or what can I cut more than I have. Like I said I am the only one with the power and I must enforce it.
 
I know that I will be to the point I am no longer obese and I believe I will get out of or at least to the low over weight BMI range, but I will do it in time. I will not do it in year, but by the 3 year post op mark I want to be in the wonderful 140's or at the least 150-155.
 
I have the power to do this- I just have to use the force!! May the force be with you to!!

Last Friday was my 9 month anniversary with my band. My journey began last year about this time with the seminar and me trying to figure out if I was ready to make this step. I quickly decided that the band was best for me and began jumping through all the hoops to make it happen.
 
June 22,2012 was surgery day at 244 lbs!! The surgery went great and the following months were great. It seemed I was loosing between 5-7 lbs a month. In Dec. 2012 I was finally below the 200lb mark, my first big goal hit in 6 months.
 
3 months later and I am still sitting in the 190's and getting frustrated. I have toned some, which has gotten me in a size 14 summer clothes, which feels nice. Yet, I still keep jumping around in the 190's. Two weeks ago I saw the 190's for the first time, then it bounced right back up to 194. I saw it again last weekend, then boom back up to 193's where I was last week, yesterday 191, today back up 192.5.
 
My doctor says all this is normal. Plateaus are expected and we just have to keep moving to break them, it will just take time.
 
The only health issue that had begun to creep up on me before surgery was my blood pressure. Which has nicely come down and is now perfect. All other labs are perfect. I wear a size 14. Yet, I still want more.
 
I slide on my 14 shorts and my large T-shirt and I still see the big girl in the mirror. I know I am smaller, but I want more. My BMI still has me well into the obese range. I have to lose 30 more lbs to be in "just" the over weight zone. While the 1st 50 lbs came off realively easy, apparently the next 50 are going to come only by a tooth and nail fight.
 
I have spend the weekend being introspective, looking at myself and what I do and don't do. I must find a balance in my life that will get me to my goal and keep me there. I am not a lover of exercise, I'm just not. But, I do need to find more ways in my life to move more, which I have, but now I need to step it up even more.
 
I had been pretty much eating much of the same things as pre surgery (I was never as much an unhealthy eater as I was a big eater). Now, I think I must start looking at things that I can cut from my diet, such as cutting, at least, back on carbs. I do try and stick with healthy carbs, but hopefully my triming even those down I can get these next few lbs off.
 
This coming week will be a big test for me. The hubs and I are headed of to Disney for a week vacation. We both need a break from our jobs and in general life. While I am looking forward to the experience I know there will be a lot of food challenges. My doctor told me to try and not stress to much about it, that I would be burning a lot of calories moving around the parks and I would need more calories than normal. She said to remember to keep portion sizes low, make good choices and have fun.
 
I am hoping that the extra movement, the destressing and the trying to eat healthy will help slide me out of the 190's. I've spend 3 month's here and I am ready to leave.

Wow! Just a few days away and feel very much unsure of what I am doing. I know I need this tool. I know I need to do this if I want to move forward but the idea of it all still is overwhelming. I am sure I preach to the choir but I feel like I am saying good bye to someone I have known my whole life. Food. My companion, my enemy, my comfort, my nemesis. So many feelings. I am glad I found this spot to talk about my feelings. Not sure anyone really understands how I feel but those who are making this choice too. Thanks for the listen.

Well Good Morning to all of you LapBanders! Are you having a wonderful day, are you having a successful lap band journey? Well I am choosing to have a wonderful day and I have had a wonderful lap band journey. If you can't answer yes to both of those question, you need to ask yourself WHY the H E L L NOT!
 
Hi, my name is Diane, Love to all my BFF's on lap band talk. I have been banded since October 2010, and yes I am a successful lapband participant. I set her dormant most of the time, surfing the site, occasional liking a post or making a comment. I don't really get caught up in all the Bull S H I T that goes on in the blogs or on the forums, because honestly people are going to do what they want and you can't fix stupid.
 
My philosophy on life is to live to the fullest and you get out of life what your willing to put into it. There are times in life when we all ask the question,"Why is this happening to me?" God, why do you put so much burden on me? Seriously, how much more can I take or can I do?
 
Seriously folks don't ask those questions because, life is just that LIFE and it will always throw you curve balls and it will always put obstacles in your path, it is how YOU chose to deal with the curve balls and the obstacles that defines your path. If you want to be successful or optimistic about anything it is your attitude that is your defining grace.
 
Let me explain:
What is a pessimist?
a person who habitually sees or anticipates the worst or is disposed to gloomy.

What is an optimist?
the tendency to EXPECT the best and see the best in things, hopeful, confident.

Now I want you to read both of those definitions and take a good internal look at your self, stand in front of the mirror and ask your self, Am I a pessimist or an optimist?
 
If that person staring back at you from the mirror is a pessimist, I am here to tell you, YOU WILL FAIL at this WL Journey. You will never lose all your weight, you will struggle at every obstacle the band throws your way. You will whine about being hungry, you will whine about being stuck, you will whine about not losing weight, you will blame the band, the surgeon and everyone on this sit who has been successful or is really trying. Face it everyone, trying to lose weight sucks, and it is hard whether you have Lap Band or some other tool helping you. It is going to be hard work but if you believe in yourself, NOT the BAND, you can and WILL be successful I know because I was and am!
 
So the next time life throws you Lemons, instead of crying over split milk, Make a nice cool, refreshing glass of Lemon Ade sugar free of course.
 
Today, I dedicate my blog to my mother. My mother is 84 years old and is dealing with Dementia. Well maybe I should say we are dealing with mama having Dementia. Honestly I never thought we would be here, my mama was always such a vibrant lady, always a on the go, the life of the party. But now she is scared and lost and what is the saddest is she knows she is lost. She woke up yesterday morning at my house and walked out of her room like a frightened 2 year old waking from a bad dream. She was disheveled and crying. "Di, how did I get here? I went to bed in one place and woke up here? How did I get here?" She was sobbing, it broke my heart to watch. It took us the better part of the morning to reconstruct the night but with time and patience she was able to put her night back together and realize why she was with me instead of at her place. You see we are relocating my mama to be closer to me and my brothers, she had spent 4 days of hell, saying goodbye to all her old friends, her great grand children and grand daughter. She had packed her 84 years up in boxes and loaded them on a big truck. She spent the night in a hotel, had lost her suit case and drove for 8 hours, unpacked a truck into her new home, went to dinner in a strange town, went to bed in a strange bed and woke up scared. Now I ask you, What would you do or feel? Lost, scared, unsure of what is happen, Yes you would and so would I. I told my mama it was going to be OK! She said to me" Di, it may be OK but it will never be the same!." WOW what a powerful statement, and you know what she is right, it will never be the same. But it will be OK, and why will it be OK, because we are choosing to be optimistic.
 
We all know the end result of Dementia, you slowing lose your present, live in your past and forget that there is a tomorrow! So why not make the most of what time you have left of today and continue to enjoy life. We could all give up on mama and just pretend this isn't happening or let others deal with it but is that really fair?
 
So you see, life has now thrown me another curve ball or more lemons, I have whined, I have cried, I have asked those questions, Oh why me and my mama but today, today I am choosing to be hopeful and confident that my mama will slowly descend into the shadows of darkness known as Dementia, I am choosing to be hopeful that she can remain independent with minimal assistance from her family. I am choosing to make Lemon Ade. I know the odds, I know what the final outcome will be but it truly is about the journey and I am choosing to make this a wonderful, hopeful journey for me, mama and my family.
 
So friends I ask you again are you a Pessimist or an Optimist and if you are a pessimist may I suggest you look really long and hard at that person staring back at you from the mirror and ask WHY?
 

Good afternoon everyone. Surprisingly today i feel great. I got up and took a shower and got to take all of the bandages off! pretty exciting. I had my gall bladder out in May of 2012 which was laproscopic and the surgeon sealed my incisions with glue and they never healed right. I asked if Dr Nirmul could go in and fix it and he did. I am very happy he actually listened to what MY needs were. I am very pleased with him. I am 100% better than my last laproscopic surgery. I am impressed with how everything was handled. I also went through true results in Phoenix and they have been wonderful! My hubby and i decided once i'm healed we are going to join a rec center near by. I have always wanted to join just never had the motivation. Well all my excuses are out the door!. I know it says no strenuous exercise for 4 weeks do you really think 4 weeks is a good time. For me i think it would take longer. I assume it would just depend on how you are healing and what you yourself are able to achieve! Oh and i'm down another 3 LBS.. Weird i think it just may be the C02 leaving! anyways 3 lbs is 3 lbs you got to start somewhere!

For the first time in a long time I'm believing that hard work and determination really do pay off. I haven't felt this good about working out and being healthy in a long time. I would always but everybody before me ie husband kids work. Now It's my turn and I dont know how to act. It just seem so unreal to me. Oh well I thought I would just share some food for thought. Enjoy your evening.

Not the self control needed to keep from eating. Thanks to yesterday's fill, I'm currently honeymooning in the luxury resort of little food = long satiety. Yay me.
 
No, I'm talking about the self control it takes me to remove myself from a conversation with no constructive outcome. The self control it takes not to yell and scream and tear out my hair when someone exhibits just how widespread the stigmatization of the obese in our culture has gone. It's so accepted in our culture to hate obesity and the people who suffer from it,that we have successfully convinced the obese to hate themselves.
 
Personally, I hate being fat. I hate it so much that I underwent weight loss surgery in the hopes of becoming thin. But I spent enough years in therapy in the meantime to understand that the reason we hate obesity is the same reason why racists hate minorities and homophobes hate gays--because we are afraid of them, and afraid of what they tell us about ourselves. We have managed to convince ourselves that people with the disease of obesity (and yes, the National Association of Chronic Disease Doctors classifies it as a disease, as well as many experts in endocrinology and associated sciences) are entirely at fault for their own condition and should view them selves with the same condemnation and disgust and shame that our culture view them.
 
Do people who are overweight generally eat too much? Yes, but science is only beginning to understand that there are biological reasons WHY we eat too much, that there are disorders systems in our bodies (endocrine, neurological, etc) that do not react the same way that those in individuals without the disease react. There is something more wrong with an obese person than that they eat too much and move too little. If eating less and moving more were a real solution, no one would be fat, and WLS would not exist.
 
It makes me so angry and so emotionally hurt when people who struggle with obesity deny the idea that it is a disease, that it is not just a matter of being greedy and lazy and no damn good that makes us weigh too much, because if we agree with the rest of the world that we should hate ourselves, what hope for real happiness will we ever have, no matter how much weight we gain or lose?

Okay so I am going to be totally 100% honest here on what lapband has meant to me:
 
1- A chance to like how my body looks.
2- A chance to shop in the "normal" section.
3- A chance to be healthy as I age.
4- A chance to take my life back.
5- A chance to learn.
 
 
I know many of these are vain, but it's the truth. I mean be honest here, who doesn't want to look in the mirror and go damn I look good- or at the least look in the mirror and go uh, I look pretty good. For the ladies out there, I am sure you will agree- it's nice to lose weight and see that little glimmer of somethin' somethin' in your significant other's eye. I want to be sexy for my hubs and have him be proud of what I look like on the outside as he is about what is on the inside. And, yes, dang it- it feel darn good to be able to buy clothing the size doesn't have a W attached.
 
I am 32 now and while I was healthy when I had surgery with no health issues and rarely ever needed a doctor- I knew that those days were numbered. I knew it time I would likely end up diabetic like my dad, or with heart issues like my brother and grandfather or any other major health problems. I wanted to insure that as I age I can do it in a healthy manner.
 
As far as taking my life back, I had come to the point where I realized food ruled my life. My co-workers and I would spend an hour in the mornings discussing and deciding on where we would go for lunch. I ate crap and would feel like crap. I would over eat and have horrible indigestion and stomach cramps that would make me feel aweful. I wanted to rule my food, not it ruling me.
 
Leaning- I think I will always be a learner/researcher. I love to read and study- I could be a professional student if I had enough money. I have read a lot of health, food, calories- basically how our bodies work. I like understanding things better. Now I know if I would have know some of this earlier, boy it would have made a difference. The way I look at food and what I put in my body is totally different. But, will I ever eat something totally decadent and sinfully calorie loaded again - yep. Being honest here- I fully intend on having some Red Velvet Cheesecake Factory Cheese cake for my anniversary. The difference in pre and post band - that cheese cake slice will not all be eaten by me and it will now follow a huge equally calorie loaded meal and it will not take place multiple time of year. This is not about restricted myself for everything I love, it's about a balance between over doing ( which was what I did before ) and driving myself crazy with restrictions.
 
This journey is going to be long, God willing, (the rest of my life). Everyday is a choice, every meal is a choice - I am the only one to blame or pat on the back for my choices because they are MINE. I want all the things that the band gave me a chance at, but the only way I am going to achieve it is if I do my part. The only person I can cheat is myself.

I am on day 6 post op and its finally getting better. I have been researching and researching for the past 8 months about lapband, but NOTHING could have prepared me for day of surgery and the 5 days following. I'm still a bit sore when breathe deep, and when I get hungry. But I'm definately ready to eat mushy foods, my protein shakes are making me sick and nothing sounds good anymore. Except pizza. I have been craving pizza for two weeks. But I'm ready. I'm ready to get back in the gym and I'm ready to really ready to start my journey.
 
Follow me on Instagram! Shell_LB

Have you ever taken a bit of something and as you are chewing it you think “this is way too big of a bit” so you stuff half the bit in your cheek and swallow the other half? And a few seconds later you swallow the half in your cheek… How did that work out for you?
 
It has never worked out successfully for me. Usually within minutes I am at the sink or toilet watching the bits go down the drain… sorry if this is TMI.
 
I hate it when this happens and often it happens when I an overly hungry or the meal is really tasty. That makes it even worse because it ends the meal completely for me.
 
So, I have to remember to take small bits, even when it is really really good and chew them completely, otherwise my yellow rose will reject them and I will not enjoy my meal.
 
Lesson learned; I am not a squirrel!

Had my surgery this morning! No complications and I feel great! I ate a Sugar Free Cherry Popsicle to celebrate and it was DIVINE!
 
I also finally found a store-bought protein shake that I like! It's called EAS AdvantEDGE Choclate Fudge!
 
Keeping my optimism up! I am so fortunate and blessed to have very supportive friends and family.
 
Until next time!

Its my first post! Good lord, it takes some legit effort to navigate this site haha!
 
I am officially a week out from my surgery, and real talk, I have been down for the count. I had the laproscopic procedure, outpatient surgery, allergan band. For all the hoopla about this being minimally invasive, I've been hurtin'! I don't know if I've been hurting this badly because I didn't move around as much as I should have or if I really have the world weakest pain tolerance. Either way, its been rough. I struggled a lot with pain from gas in my stomach through day four. I'm good with my liquids consumption now but I've definitely had to work up to it. I really just hope the next week flies by because I am SO OVER liquids right now haha! I've been having to cheat and add a cup of chocolate soy milk to my protein shakes because they're starting to taste so gross. My starting weight was 315 at my very first appt, I was at 300.8 the day of surgery, and floating between 290-289 today(7 days post op). I'm resisting temptation and only weighing myself every Tuesday. On top of that, I'm doing a body shot every 4 weeks. Good gawwwd, the pre-op ones I took (In what I'm now loving referring to as my 'goal-kini') was a blow to the self confidence lol. I swear by spanx and can dress my shape really well... seeing it all hang out like that was not an image I wanted to see. But hey, gotta see where you came from to know where you're going.
 
If you read this, drop me a line or comment! I'm trying to meet some people on here since I don't have a support group nearby.