dylanmiles23

It's a week before my TOM, so maybe that is why I am feeling this way, but ugghhh!
 
I got up this morning like any other, weighed after potting, 190.8! Geez, how, I am following the rules. I want my 189 back or lower!!
 
Moving on with the morning routine, I put my clothes on and go to fix my hair. I had on a sleeveless top (I had a shirt to go over top that I would put on before leaving), as I am doing my hair. I lift my arms up to begin curling- OMG!!!!! My arms, OMG- they are huge, that is what a thigh should look like not my arm and the hubs says my arms are smaller- OMG!!! How big were they? Then my eye drop down- I fail to see any of the postives that have come with losing 50+- I only see the remaining fat rolls! I see how my tummy still pouches, my back fat- UGH- I am a huge fat hippo!! I feel like having surgery did nothing for me- ok I realize that isn't true, but I am in full pitty party mode. I have only lost 54 lbs in 10 months- I am a failure - others have lost so much more. Why didn't I have bypass, then maybe I would be smaller now. I am sick of getting stuck at meals! My pitty party was in full swing.
 
I wasn't just thinking all this the hubs was sleepily listening. Finally, when I turned and said if I am this freaking huge now, just how big was I really before I lost the weight. At that point the hubs just said I love you and you are beautiful to me and turn and walked out!! He knew there was no talking to me at that point, I was firmly in the mode. As most men can relate, when a woman is in this mode there is nothing a man can say and not get in trouble for, so it is best to be quiet- my husband know this all to well.
 
Now a few hours later I am at work, still down, but not total pity party. I am just in the mode of ok, this sucks I want to lose more, I am tired of this being so slow, so what do I do now.
 
As much as I do not want to add a more rigourous exercise routine to my plan, I think that is the next step I need to do. Also, trimming carbs even more- I dont' like this, but if it helps and get me to where I want/need to be then I gotta get with it.
 
So tonight after work- I do have the push mow the lawn (I actually do enjoy this- gives me time to think while doing something productive that has a postive result I can see when I am done). I am also going to have a talk with the hubs, I am going to need support from him to kick it into the next level. He has always been supportive and loving and I know he will be this time to.
 
So how many of you have pity party days, where you still feel like a beached whale?

I guess the band is really working because i haven't gotten hungry yet. That doesn't mean that i dont have the urge to eat tho. I guess its all in my head. I'm not really in that much pain. It only hurts when I try to get out of bed and walk around and stuff which i have to do often. I tried a different protein shake and i think its too thick because it hurts when i try to drink it. I'm gonna try a different protein shake and see how it goes. I might just be that the shake is too thick because when i drink water or some other kind of 'thin' liquid i be okay. I'm complaining now but i know in the long run it all will be worth it!

I think most of us were scared if not nervous going into this- all the what if's sworrling around our head. I am sure we thought about possible complications, what if it doesn't work, fear of the pain, ect.
 
However, sometimes fear is healthy. Like during my post op I was scared to do anything the doctor didn't okay, I know I bugged him and the NUT calling and asking what can I have - is this okay, is that okay. Then every little ache and pain I was scared I'd hurt my band.
 
Now I am a little less worried about the things from the begining. I do still have a little fear of will I be able to lose all the weight I want to. I've lost half of it so I guess it was successful, but I still have about 45 lbs I want to get rid of.
 
My fear now is foods!!
 
In some cases it's a good thing. I am an NC Girl and I swear Krispy Creme runs in my veins (heck where else is there a Krispy Creme Marathon). Due to the texture of a donut I am scared to taint my beloved friend. I fear that if I take a bite and swollow the pain will begin, then the foaming at the mouth, flowed by the delightful reverse of the donut up my eshogus.
 
Some foods though now have more power because I know they will go down. I can not tell you how often I pass the McDonalds right by my office and want to get a ice cream cone. But, I have been able to pass it up. Also, cookies- they slllliiiiiddddeeee on down. Last weekend when I make 3 batches of cookies for my hubs office party, I managed to keep my intake to just one (my fav- Carmel Pecan Crunch)- the other were shipped off to my hubby's office and I told him not to bring the box back until the cookies were gone!!
 
Then there is the fear of eating to much/eating to little. Having been a big girl most of my life I had never had anyone tell me I wasn't eating enough. A couple of months ago when I went to a doctors appointment and complained that I wasn't losing weight hardly at all anymore. My doc looked over my food chart and exercise tracker and told me I wasn't eating enough. I took a double take for sure. So I have a hard time balancing that line of too few calories to to many calories.
 
Fears bounce around all the time, some times it's good to give in to it (like not eating the donut out of fear) and sometime it's better to say a little prayer and plow through it (like having the surgery to begin with).

Wow.. 2 weeks from today I will be in the hospital getting lapbanded. Its hard to believe that my struggle with weight loss has come to this, but i am ready to tackle it head on.
 
Lets rewind. I am 33 years old and in live in Tallahassee Florida, home to my beloved seminoles. I am happily married and have a 5 year old son named Dylan. Growing up I swam competitively from the time i was six years old through college. Although i had to watch my weight because i swam so much, it wasnt an "issue". My eating habits growing up were atrocious..two orders of chicken fingers and fries was a regular. Once college ended, swimming stopped and the "real world" set in. Sitting at a desk 9 hours a day, eating junk and not exercising lead to a 100lb weight gain.
 
I have decided on Lap Band and will be banded May 9th at Tallahassee Memorial Hopsital by Dr. Eliot Sieloff. In preparing for surgery, I have read blogs and books and searched the internet...man is there a lot of stuff out there...funny how the things that stick are the scary parts.. How do you get past that? Any encouragement would be much appreciated~!!

For now anyhow, had my second appointment were we decided that I didn't need a fill. Steady weight loss (Of course not as fast as I would like), 3-4 hours of satiety (Depending on if I stay away from simple carbs and focus on protein). Can pretty much eat anything, but have to be careful and have had a few stuck episodes in the last month when I wasn't.
 
It is kind of a bittersweet place to be, the green zone is this magical fairy land that is held out to us from the time we are banded, and yet here I am. I still wrestle with eating too fast, I still am plagued by head hunger, I still have to exercise, I still have weight to lose, I still get plateaued.
 
WAIT A MINUTE, YOU MEAN I STILL HAVE TO WORK AT MY WEIGHT LOSS, I THOUGHT THE BAND WAS MAGIC!!! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

Had my follow up with gastroenterologist yesterday. He's done all he can, medically. I'm seeing a top doctor in this type of problem at a local university hospital. There are only a few options available, even surgically:
1. Remove band, evaluate gastro-esophageal junction, hiatal hernia repair, vagus nerve damage/injury.
2. Remove band, take down HH repair and redo it along with Heller Myotomy.
3. Remove band, implant feeding tube for 3-6 months to rest the esophagus.
4. Remove band, remove esophagus with reconstructive surgery (horrible option)
 
The achalasia is "end stage" based on the manometry, but since pseudo achalasia is gaining prevalence in the banded population, I might get lucky and just end up with #1. Fingers crossed.
 
My motility was 0%
 
My appointments at the university start on May 17.
 
Wish me luck
 

The Beginning
Growing up I use to tell everyone I was born fat so I am going to die fat! My story starts on July 28th 1983 my wonderful mother gave birth to a beautiful 10 pound baby girl…. Me! My parents told me I was the biggest baby in the hospital and I was proud of that. Who ever thought that this was the beginning of my obesity life. I am not going to sit here and writing about how I was teased when I was growing up and how I eat everything is sight because I will be lying to you guys and I am many things but I lair I am not. I was never tease about my weight growing up.
 
So what cause me to become plus size diva? One word boredom. I was never athletic in school but I was involved in a lot of different activities like girls scouts, drama clubs and etc. Majority of the time all I did was eating junk food and when I was at home I was eating junk food either because I was bored. Fast forward to my high school life preferably my Senior year. Me and my best friend (Note: Just in case you are wondering we are still best friends!) were going to join the Air Force together but I had to lose 40 pounds in order to join. Guess what? I did as a matter of fact and I lost about 60 pounds. Impressive Right? Too bad I inherited my dad’s feet and could not join because I have no arch in my feet. True Story! I was devastated but life goes on and so did my weight.
 
Life in my 20’s the yo-yo dieting years!
Who wants to play I’ve been on that diet game? Since I couldn’t join the armed forces I decided to work for the government and started going to college. I always struggle with my weight and I spent most of my twenties trying out different diets. I gain back 50 pounds that I lost before with a new set of boobs. No I didn’t get a boob job I think 20% of my weight gain went to my boobs. For the longest time I have maintained my weight from 225 to 235. Then all of a sudden I was either losing a friend and a relative every year. I took my frustrations out by eating food. I am an emotional eater and I can admit that. My last diet that I was on was Weight Watchers I actually did pretty well on it until I hit a plateau then I never got back on track. I learned how to accept weighing at 250 or 255 and maintaining that. Until August of last year… For the past 4 years I’ve been maintaining my weight 250 to 255 but this time around my Wii fit (my scale) Said 267! I swear I thought my Wii fit was lying. Until I weighted myself on several scales at work and I found out the harsh reality.
 
Why I chose to have the lap band….. A Quarter life mid crisis!
After many bottles of beer and soul searching, I told myself “I gave obesity my 20’s I refuse to give obesity my 30’s!” I decided to start working on a better me. I watch a Weight Management seminar online to get a better understanding on my surgical weight lost options. I immediately knew if I was going to pick a WLS it was going to be the Lap band. Why, because I didn’t want my stomach to be cut in half, my inside to be rerouted and etc. Sorry but that does not sound healthy to me. I didn’t wake up and said I was going to get the lap band this was a 7 month process. I wanted to try to lose weight on my own first but at the same time I went to a local support group to help me with my final decision. I am glad I went to a local support group because some of the YouTube videos I found scared the crap out of me. October I made my decision to get the lap band. On February 9th I got my approval letter from my insurance company and 2 months later (April 9th) I got my surgery date May 1st 2013! I am looking for to my healthier lifestyle and a new me! My goal is to be 20 pounds lighter on my 30th birthday! Wish me luck!
Thank you for reading

I have been out all day and saw much earlier or yesterday a question about hair loss. At my monthly support group tonight was the rep from Bariatric Advantage. Her name is, Pat, I think. Pat had bypass surgery 10 years ago. She still looks great. About 4 years ago she started to lose her hair. She had a blood test and her Ferritin showed up very low, around 2 and she said it should be around 40ish. She had to have some medical things done to her but her hair is very healthy now. So she said if you have hair loss get tested for this Ferritin. She also said you have to keep up with your annual blood work because people that have WLS do lose some vitamins and minerals and don't know it.
Have a great evening everyone.
Arlene

Neil Diamond is at the Red Sox game singing live, Sweet Caroline!!!! This country is great!!!
David Ortiz gave a speech and said "this is our f**king city". He was not bleeped.

I grew up in Boston, on Comm. Ave. between BU and BC. I went to Boston public schools and I am very proud of being from Boston. I now live about 10 miles south of the city. My good friend works for the Boston Police Dept., 911. He just told me a woman from CA ordered a lot pizzas to be delivered to the head quarters and a person from KY sent fruit. This country is super, if you don't like it, there's the door.
My 95 year old mother's nursing home was in lock down yesterday. She doesn't go out, so she wouldn't have known. My mentally challenged brother lives near the nursing home and the chefs and other workers couldn't go make and serve dinner last night. He lives in senior housing.
So today when we are all out enjoying our freedom, let's all sing "Sweet Caroline". That was sung at the Boston Common last night by the people that could finally leave their homes and at every Red Sox game. Thanks Neil Diamond for a great song.
I know this has nothing to do the weight loss or the band.
Arlene

Even though we all know we should, many of us fail to listen to what our docs and NUTs have to say; some in major ways, some in small.
 
Now in the major ways I always listen to my doctor, I am to afraid not to. I do not want complications. But, in small ways, I fail at times.
 
For instance, in March I went to see my doc for my 9 month check up. We discussed how I was doing- good, felt good, not getting hungry, eating 3 meals a day. I track calories in and I track by my fitbit how many calories I use- I showed the doc. During all this I was complaining that my weight loss seems to have slowed almost to a stop. After reviewing my intake and calorie burn (1200-1300 calories - 2100 to 2200 calories out), the PA said I wasn't eating enough.
 
Now I have been over weight since I was 5 years old. Never have I been told I wasn't eating enough. I was terrified that this would cause me to regain some of what I'd lost, but I tried for a few days, a couple more pounds came off. Then I was headed out on vacation. The hubs and I went to Florida for a week and took in Disney and Sea World. During this time I was also on my monthly cycle. My band was really tight and I had a really hard time eating, even yogurt was a struggle in the morning. I was burning close to 3000 calories a day due to all the walking. When I return my weight was up 4 lbs - WTH, I hardly ate? I figured some was salt intake and apparently that was true. In a week of being back on schedule I was back down to pretrip weight. This week since being really back to normal I have increase my protein intake and started eating snacks as my doctor recommended. All week I have stayed at the 190 weight. Each day I have eaten a snack of 1 weight watchers cheese stick and about 12 grapes (if I didn't want grapes I ate half of an apple). I found this was a tasty snack and I never got hungry, always kept a satisfied feeling.
 
This morning my weight dropped to 189.8!! Ok, this is big to me. Okay TMI I know, but I haven't gone number 2 in 3 days. So being that I haven't really pottied well and my weight went down make me feel really good.
 
Maybe I should listen and heed instead of just hearing every little tid bit the doc says!!

Everyone always wants to know why you have to eat protein. PROTEIN PROTEIN PROTEIN is all we ever hear. Well I'm gonna try to make this as short and sweet as I can. When we are obese it doesnt matter if we eat protein because we have enough fat to burn for about 20 years worth. When you have weight loss surgery and you lose your fat stores, you will then start to lose lean muscle mass. Once you lose the muscle mass YOU CAN NOT GET IT BACK! 70 TO 90 GRAMS OF PROTEIN EVERY SINGLE DAY. (Sorry forgot to unlock caps and was not yelling). Before you put anything else in your mouth, you should be eating something filled with protein. If you can't eat meat then you have to find other things such as cottage cheese, tofu, beans, etc. If you lose your lean muscle you will be in trouble. Its not about just eating protein to burn fat, its about keeping your body healthy. If you chose to eat like crap then you can't blame anyone else when your muscle's don't work correctly. Also if you do not get enough protein you can become very vitamin B-12 deficient. Once damage has occurred from B-12 deficiency it is not reversable. I have seen patients become paralyzed from not having enough B-12 if that happens you will not get it back. Eat your protein. If you have to drink it then drink it but you must get in your protein.
Losing muscle mass from weight reduction can lead to harmful effects on your body, as well as problems with your weight-loss results.
 
You want to lose weight fast but please do it safely. Nothing worse then losing a lot of weight, lose your muscle mass and end up in a wheel chair. That is not what weight loss surgery is about by any means. You are given directions for a reason.

I cannot believe its finally here!!! I all checked in and am so blessed to have so much support from friends and family....it's overwhelming! I don't think im gonna sleep tonight at all tonight cause of my nerves and excitement. I keep walking around the hotel room organizing everything and checking off my lists ahh!! Well I better try to calm down so I sleep. Next time I come on here I will be banded!

I was banded a little over a year ago, I've lost over 80 pounds and I am at my goal weight. I also drink wine every evening. I don’t hide this from anyone. I have posted such information several times and when I get PM’d about it I answer honestly.
 
I knew when I decided to get the band that I would have to change my life and I was more than willing to do just that. But, I was not willing to give up my wine. I enjoy wine, I like the taste. My husband & I often go wine tasting at some of the Texas wineries. So, I decided that wine was going to be a part of my lifestyle.
 
From day one (& before) I have enjoyed my evening wine. Yes, the evening of my surgery I had a glass.
 
I count the empty calories (110 calories for 5oz of wine, approximately) and I am careful. I know that wine relaxes the band right along with you. So if you drink too much and the munchies set in…..everything will go down & then some.
 
I am responsible with my wine. I don’t drink for the effect of the alcohol. I drink wine because of the taste.
 
You wonder, does my doctor know? Of course he does, I tell my doctor everything. Hiding information from your doctor only hurts you.
 
My thoughts are this, if you have something you love and you can manage it then you should enjoy it. Make it a part of your plan. I have a friend that has a treat once a week of their favorite fast food meal, and another who has a single serving bag of Cheetos every day. Depriving yourself will not work. If you are anything like me, you will get resentful and end up splurging and hating yourself after.
 
Enjoy your love, just manage it and you will succeed.

I have 5 days until my surgery!!!!! Im so anxious to have it done already...it feels as though this process has been sooo long!! I have finally realized something...I am on my liquid diet btw..yesterday I was talking to my fiancé and I asked him if I could cheat just a little on the diet...and he told me something that I now hear in my head every time I want to cheat.."You have cheated your whole life, its time to buckle down cause things are changing!!" Im blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life who supports my every move. I heard him and I thought to myself...he's so right, I have ate pizza at late hours with extra cheese, extra pepperoni, I have eaten out for days eating junk and greasy food, I drank pop whenever I wanted to and never thought about the consciences...but now is my chance to move forward to grow out of that to help myself in becoming the better ME I can be for my Fiancé and most of all for my DAUGHTER!! I don't want her to have to see me as a diabetic or with high blood pressure and have to worry about me taking pills or having to be on insulin..i want her to know me as active and healthy I want to chase her around and take her for walks and not feel out of breath because I jogged a little..These next 5 days cant come any faster!! I am so ready to start my Journey with the lapband

My surgery is officially tomorrow and I got to meet with the surgeon today. He was really nice and the only thing im worried about is if I stuck to the atkins diet well enough to shrink my liver......I had a few slips and im most stressed about that. If he gets in there and cannot get to my stomach I will be devastated! Im not gonna think about the negative though, and im gonna just enjoy the process and know that im doing the right thing for myself! I got to meet other people today getting surgery this week and that was encouraging. Wish me luck, cannot believe its tomorrow already!!!

Ok, stress again.........
 
So this is a question I frequently want to ask people, when they want to be encouraging, but they really don't have a clue.
 
As I have said on this site before, I have had 3 miscarriages. My friends and family are aware of this also. Everyone says, oh it's already, you will have one, don't worry it'll happen when the times right, I just know you will have a little one next time. I always want to flip them off and say just how the h@## do you know, because I sure as heck don't?
 
I realize people mean well, but I have come to believe we are a "know it all" society. When we try and encourage others insert I "know" xyz will happen, when sometimes we just don't.
 
I have come to the point, where I want to be realistic. There are somethings I just don't have answers to and that isn't always a bad thing.
 
People tell me about my WLS to just stop stressing about my weight being stuck in the 190's for 4 months. Well, easier said that done! Some say oh, just keep doing what you are doing it will come down. Some well exercise more it will come off. Some say cut the carbs and you will loose it.
 
Well bottom line the ONLY truth I know is- if I eat less calories than I burn I will loose. However, there is a point when you eat two few calories and you body refuses to release the fat it already has- however there is A LOT of contraversery around this and how long it takes.
 
I get to the point where I worry I am stuck forever, will I lose anymore. Am I a failure?
 
The only person that can make me a failure is me because I define failure.
 
Also, and I am saying this to me- we need to be careful when talking with others to encourage realistically. If we feel for them in their situation whatever it may be say that you don't need to add to it- sometimes just knowing someone care is enough.
 
I don't know if anyone on this site I meet will be successful- I don't live with them or know their history. There are people here that have done so amazing and I wish I could be more like them (Carolina Girl and Missy here is your shout out), but I am me. My body is different, I lead a different life, I eat diffrently (we all have things we like and don't like) so I can't be like them. The only things I can say is what I know- we all have the power to be successful and we all have the power to fail- we must decide which one it will be.
 
People get offended if we are harsh, poor Carolina Girl gets picked on to much about this, but in my book sometimes we need the honesty to make us look at ourselves. You, me, anyone will not succeed in this if we continue living and doing as we did before. So why the heck do you expect anyone to say oh, it's okay to eat an entire pizza at one time- WTH? NO it's not ok. If you doctor tells you do xyz and you abc then no you DID NOT do right.
 
Wake up folks be honest, be realistic, and if it calls for it be harsh then do it- you might actually help someone.
 
While it pissed me off sometime ago when someone said oh there are worse things than never having kids. After I got over being pissed I realized it was true. Just because I don't have a child born to me doesn't mean I can't lead a full and amazing life. Now I appreciate that person for helping me come to terms with my reality even though it hurt at the time.

so i weighted myself to see how much damage this stress has done along with me being off my game. first let me say i went to the gym and saw my personal trainer and ran a mile in a half after. then i came home took a shower got on the scale and to my surprise i had lost weight im down to 210 and i can wear a size 12 jeans. i didnt do as bad as i thought i did.

Because that is where I am spending my day. My daughter's middle school is having a Narnia celebration and I have volunteered to be a photographer. I think I will hide some jerky in my camera bag, I hope Aslan doesn't mind.
 
My daughter and I ready for a day in Narnia.

Today is my MIL's 90th birthday party, at a Chinese restaurant. Almost every one at the party has not seen me for over 6 months. Nervous does not explain my feelings. I know I am being crazy, but I feel like everyone will look at me and judge what little food I will be putting on my plate. My children and oldest brother have seen me eat and say nothing, it's all the others and they don't know about my new friend, The Band! There is an open bar, I don't drink, even before the band, so that is fine. I have not said anything to anyone even the hub about this. He would tell me I am crazy.
​Thank you for listening.
Enjoy your day.
The Red Sox are winning right now!!!!!!!!!!!! go SOX.

So my big butt was so big it could hold a serving tray. Well it is gone! I need a butt lift and I still have a lot to lose. My husband said I need to have the fat sucked from the belly and put into the butt. I told him they do that in Brazil. Brazil, here we come? It is a nice feeling to know that huge monster is gone and there is still room for improvement. I have a lot of belly fat. I go to the gym but I am sure I need to something else to work it off. The fat took many years to get there and it will take some time to get off the body. my fatonmythighs have lost at least 6" since September (that was when I started taking measurements).
I hope every one realizes that inches count as much as numbers on the metal monster when losing.
Every one enjoy your thinner day, off to the gym now.
:wub:Arlene

OMG only 4 days left, im so nervous and yet excited. I cut my hair short today to get myself pumped for change!!! All the hard work of getting approved by insurance is finally done! I have all my liquid stuff ready to go and got my hotel booked. I just cant believe its next week, ive been counting down the days. I know this is a tool and its not going to cure this overnight but im ready to finally take care of myself for a change and do something for me! Its a long journey ahead of me but im more than ready and cant wait to post my "after" picture someday!!! TIme for me now!!!

I hate baggy clothes, and wearing my size 40 jeans made me feel sloppy. I am currently wearing 38"comfortably, but I decided to try on 36" when I went shopping. Here are the results:
 
 
Now this is uncharted territory, but I am more than happy to keep on exploring. Going where Terry has never gone before. Band, warp 9!

...the kind in the old saying: swimming serenely on the surface and paddling like a lunatic underneath.
 
Actually, I've been doing fairly well ever since I got back on board with my band (3/8). The additional fills have made a difference and at 9.25cc, I've decided to consider myself I the green zone. I stay not hungry for about 4 hrs after a meal. I never experience stuck episodes or PBs, thank goodness, but I am a pretty conscientious chewer, which is good because my bite size varies depending on the texture of the food I'm eating. I make sure to get my minimum 50g of protein per day and I keep track of my calories, but other than that I don't stress abut counting anything else (fat or carbs). I still eat "bad" foods occasionally (like chips) but only in moderation, in premeasured servings, and I always count the calories and try to make sure that at the end of the week I average out around 1200 calories per day. I can eat bread, rice, pasta, asparagus, steak ... there is nothing I have ever tried to eat that I was unable to eat. I also don't ever feel like my band "stops" me from eating. My portions are usually 1 cup at a time, sometimes 1.5 cups, but I never feel stuffed after eating or that my band is telling me to stop. My mind tells me to stop because it remembers the rules given to me by my doctor.
 
In reality, I'm learning to be okay with that. Part of me wonders if I'm missing some vital part of the bandster experience by not having a band that bosses me around, but I think this way is honestly probably less painful. I also hope that it is teaching me more than if I had a vocal band. This way, I know that what I'm doing is a choice and since I'm going to have to do this for the rest of my life if I want to lose and maintain a loss, getting into the habit of choosing right is probably a good thing in the long term. Sure, there are times when I wish I was one of those people whose band made them forget about food completely. When I read about someone who never has cravings any more, or who forgets to eat, or who loses interest in food--even really yummy food--after a few bites, I wish that were me, but I'm doing okay with the me I've got, so I get over it.
 
The bottom line is that I am losing weight. Not huge quantities and not as fast as I would like, but since I would LIKE to be losing 10lbs per week, I'm focusing on being realistic instead. My 1-2 lb per week loss (really does usually fall around 1.5!) is exactly on track. All I need to do is to remember to stay the course and I will get where I want to be eventually. Better to get there slowly than to stay where I am.
 
So, like the duck, I just keep paddling.
 
 

At least for a little while. Went out to breakfast with a friend, ordered off of the menu with no substitutions (scrambled eggs with veggies and feta), enjoyed a nice conversation, took small bites, ate slowly, sipped my coffee a couple of times and when I was no longer hungry piled my plates up and pushed them away. I ate about 2/3 of my eggs, 1/4 of my potatoes and half a slice of dry toast. AND I WAS FINE WITH THAT!
 
Now, that wasn't say that the head hunger voices weren't screaming in the background about wasting food, about how good it tasted, about taking just one more bite. They weren't as loud as they usually are, I just checked and made sure that I wasn't hungry (Satiated), and dismissed them.
 
There is hope...