dylanmiles23

The last week has been emotional. I have a lot going on in both my professional life as well as my personal life. I have a lot of decisions to make on both fronts that will effect the rest of my life. So needless to say I feel a little out of sorts.
 
At work we are changing systems and I have to write a software program to track some things that won't be tracked in the new system. Plus, I have to get all the training in for the new system so I can train everyone else.
 
My mother-in-law is begging us to come up north to see her. While we want to, right now with my crazy work life it is hard to find some time to take off.
 
My dog got crazy sick last Thursday night. Vomiting blood- we were at the ER vet at 3 am. Thank God she is better, but I am having to watch her like a hawk. Plus, she has gotten really clingy during all of this.
 
We have had a contractor working on our house. Had our deck enlarged from a 10x14 to a 25x14.
 
Managed to get to my mom's for mothers day, which I ate a dessert and shouldn't have. I had to leave my dog for a few hours with the hubs, which caused the dog to howl for 45 min, driving the hubs crazy. She finally tuckered herself out and went to sleep.
 
Mother's Day is hard for me. If I wouldn't have lost my first child, she would be 3 and a half now. I have lost two more since losing her. Then I went to my OB/GYN Monday and was told my chance for having a child are slim. He said I can keep trying, but he would not get to invested until we are through the first trimester and half of the 2nd. So it's hard to decide if we should give it another go or not. The thought of seeing a postive pregnancy test I think would scare me. I am so scared of losing another one.
 
My weight loss is still at a sllllooooowww pace. Since Dec. I have only lost 10 lbs. It's hard to stay positive and focused when I seem to be getting hits from all side. Last week was pretty good weight wise. I went down to 188. After Mother's Day weekend and a splurge up to 190. It is so easy to put on and so hard to take off. It seems I can't even have one cookie without my body flipping out and gaining weight. Being that I seem to stay busy from before the sun rises until after it set finding time to work out has been difficult.
 
I am exhusted from the fast pace of life right now, and the knowledge that it's not going to get any better any time soon.
 
On top of all this the hubs and I are trying to figure out if I should go back to school to finish out my degree that I was forced to give up on years ago due to finances.
 
So as you can see I have a lot going on. I am not sure what to do or which way to turn. I am just tired!!

It has been a bad day, a really bad day as I deal with a family member that has severe emotional/psychological problems. As I drove away from their home my mind kept ticking through the things that would dull some of the pain I was feeling, and everyone of them revolved around food. Hell, I have a bottle of good Irish Whiskey downstairs in my office, and while I will probably pour myself a stiff drink after the kids are down for the evening, it isn't nearly as attractive in my mind as taking the family out for BBQ and eating until I am so full that it hurts. Is it any wonder diets don't work for us, when food has become a drug that we use to dull the pain that comes with living?
 
Well, the good news is, as my mind ticked through my options I knew that those that dealt with food really weren't an option. After getting stuck last night, I am not willing to piss off Mistress Band two days in a row, and to tell the truth since being banded, I know that using food as a drug will only make me feel worse and I will still have the family matter to deal with with the guilt of having indulged in emotional eating added to it.
 
So, here I sit with my glass of crystal light lemonade, writing a blog entry for those who have helped me on this forum. Thanks for listening.

Banded Diva Day... LOL I crack myself up sometimes!
First I want to thank everyone for the advice and word of encouragement. It is nice to know that I am not alone. I am truly blessed. Thank you so much.
Today, I decided to take action and do something fun. So I went to the nail shop and got my toes and eyebrows done. Then I went shopping for week 3 of my post op diet. I felt pretty good and wanted to do more but I need to slow down.
Today is my friend Mandy’s Birthday she is having her birthday party at a local club this weekend. I told her I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it or not. I explain to her I may be around to many triggers. Here is a brief history lesson.
Before me being banded almost every other weekend I was drinking… a lot. Those nights consisted of shots, shots, and bud lights. Then after club hours a trip to Jack in the Box I usually ordered 2 tacos and Jumbo Jack on sourdough. I know I can’t do that now or anytime soon but Mandy understand my situation.
Eventually I will have to learn how to deal with social situation but I do not want to be staying again this weekend. I was thinking about going to the movies this weekend. I never was those types of people who had to buy popcorn or nachos. I usually buy their version of a $6 dollars Icee and maybe a pretzel. Since I can have low fat cheese and crackers I thought about putting them in my purse just in case. I am so glad I have a big purse.
Anyway life is good and I have no regrets!
Thanks for reading.

Today at work I had to give a presentation to over 100 staff members, the majority being managers & directors.
 
Before I was banded I would get so nervous fearing all they would see was this talking whale….
 
Today, I felt confident in myself. I knew the subject matter, I was dressed professionally and I was ready. The presentation went off without any hicks and after it was over my coworker said to me, “Wow, you were so confident up there. How do you do that?”
 
It made me think. I am confident, I am in control, I like myself…. No I love myself. I stand tall!
 
All because in February 2012 I decided to put myself first, to change my lifestyle, to eat right & exercise. I got a tool to help me accomplish this, my band, and together we have done incredible stuff.
 
I have changed and improved myself and today I do stand tall.
 
I thank the band for that!

WLS is not Cover Girl. Easy Breezy is not a definition that can be used when talking about WLS.
 
In reading the comments posted on Fox News regaurding Gov. Christie's lapband surgery, I was disturbed to see that people still see WLS as the easy way out. What I would like to know is what part of major surgery is easy?
 
While lapband surgery is not a horrible ordeal to face, it isn't all sugar plums and roses. I was sick after surgery, felt like crap. Then I had trouble taking in enough. Then I was starving hungry. Then when I started eating again I was terrified. As the first 50 lbs melted away I was thrilled with my decision to have lapband, once I got past the 199 mark, the next 10 lbs took 4 months! I am still very glad I choose this change and committed to it.
 
Just because you have WLS doesn't mean your cravings, desires, wants disappear. We have to learn to manage these things. WLS success requires a huge committment to change your lifestyle. This pathway to health is worth it, but it is far from easy.
 
May 22nd I will be 11 months post op and I have gone from 244 to 188. I have gone from wearing a tight 18W to a very comfy 14. I know longer wear the 1-2X shirts, I know easily wear a large. These things are awesome and make then changes I committed to well worth the struggle.
 
Every day brings with it a new set of challenges, opticles, highs and lows, but it is worth it to finally feel "normal".
 
I no longer walk into places and feel like people are looking at me due to my weight. I am no longer paranoid over it (well almost there). I love walking into stores and being able to find cute clothes. I walked past the Women's sizes the other day in Belk and saw a cute top- guess what all they had were to big for me . My husband hugs me and comments frequently how small I feel and how proud he is of me.
 
So no matter how people view the surgery, no matter if it is hard or easy, I don't give a rats bootie- this is my life and I choose health. I choose to change. I am on this journey. I still have 45 lbs left to loose. I won't make it to goal in a year. But by golly I will make it. One day, I will see the blessed 140's. I am not sure how much more changing and rearranging I will have to do to my life style, but I am committed and I will do what I must to finally acheive my dreams!

Wow one week has passed since I got banded. So how do I feel?
I feel…….
The same. Weird huh? My incisions are a constant reminder that I have something inside me that is waiting to work. Why did I say that? Because my support system (i.e. my family and friends) are asking me food related questions that I can’t answer. For example my 30th birthday is less than 2 months away and I know they want to throw me a lap band friendly party. I just love that their hearts are in the right place but it’s hard to explain to them that I do not know what me and the band can tolerate. Based on my research I found some people can eat everything they want including breads and pastas. Then I found people who cannot eat breads, pastas, and certain fruits. I would like to be one of those people that can eat whatever I want just in moderations. But time would tell.
I am no longer starving like Marvin. I called my surgeon office and they told me to try to add more fluids in and I did. But I had the weirdest dream last night and I would like to share with you.
I have a confession to make. I have a crush on Bobby Deen I don’t care he is engaged I still have crush on him. Anyway I had a dream that I was did a cooking show with him and his mama Paula Deen. I guess me dreaming about food comes in different ways… LOL
Oh I almost forgot to mention my total weight loss. Last year in August I weigh 267 with me preparing and doing the 2 week liquid diet as of today I weigh 235! That 32 pounds…. Gone! I am feeling amazing right now!
For those who are concerned about me watching the Blues Games tonight…. I will have my pillow close at hand.
Thanks for reading

When I discovered LBT I was 4 months into my journey, like most I would read a lot of posts and on occasion I would post. I found myself following 2 ladies and the 3 of us struck up a wonderful friendship. We would goof around, take over threads, insult and love each other. One from Florida, one form North Carolina and myself from Texas we became the three musketeers of LBT.
 
We have never met face to face but to me our friendship is the most precious around. I love both these ladies like sisters. I don’t know what I would do without them.
 
This evening when I got home from work the mailman knocked on my door with a package for me from Florida?! The package was marked Fragile….I haven’t ordered anything on line lately. Who do I know in Florida??? I was puzzled. So I opened the package to find the most thoughtful birthday gift from one of my LBT friends. It was so thoughtful and personalized that I burst into tears.
 

 
 
I enjoy my wine and my hot tub, but we all know that wine glasses do not mix with hot tubs. So I got a personalized travel wine glass, it’s called ClearWater Gear and her daughter did the vinyl customizing. I will cherish this gift.
 
Thank you so very much!

This week I have been confronted with more and more people noticing my "physical changes". This makes me feel very vulnerable and I am not sure why? I have been heavy my whole life and I think, for the most part, I have "accepted" this about myself. Even "identified" with being heavy. With time, I have compensated by having a BIG personality in order to be "seen". I drove myself to accomplish many things. For instance, I was a good student, I worked very hard on my career and got promoted because of it, I am a good friend, sister, daughter, etc. I really felt that, aside from my weight, I have a lot to offer to the world and I am displaying this in other aspects of my life. Until my weight became a VERY unhealthy issue, I really didn't think it held me back from living my life. The more people focus on my physical changes...the more I want to hide. Hiding was never an issue when I was heavier. I have noticed that taking a compliment has been difficult, that the more people focus on how "good" I look...the more I have tuned down my personality in order to now take the focus off myself. My brain still has not caught up with the changes my body has made. I am hoping the journey will help understand these new feelings and vulnerabilities. Perhaps accepting a new identity and a new normal. I am learning a lot about myself and as much excitement this process brings....it's also dusting up fears that I didn't even know I had.

Yep... I'm feeling majorly guilty today... yes.. I just finished working out.. I should be happy right? Burned over 500 calories - BUT that doesn't make up for the fact that I was extremely out of control this weekend.. blah... totally didn't follow my eating plan. Granted, I had a wonderful time.. but honestly these 'relapses' aren't going to help me with my goals... I wasn't logging my food and after doing it this morning I so went over my caloric limit on BOTH Saturday and Sunday... of course I did work out on Saturday - so I don't feel so badly about that.. but I am pretty disappointed in my inability to resist temptation...
 
I have known for a long time that I am addicted to food - especially GOOD food.. and in addition to that - I am also an emotional eater. Face it. I love to eat. But I also know that THIS behavior is also the behavior that got me to 495lbs the first time... so alas - though I made some really poor choices this weekend, looking on the bright side of things? I did get up this morning and kicked butt during my workout.. that's something right?
 
So I take it one day at a time... and make a personal vow to make good choices in my eating and drinking - TODAY... because I can't do anything about what I did this weekend.. so I move past it...

i'm down to 208 and i can see onederland in my future

Over the last four months I became almost unable to walk. I had so much pain in my muscles and weakness I was walking like duck. My old doctor who is now my old doctor would sit in the hallway and write me prescriptions for muscle relaxers and tell me to go home. I was in so much pain that I could not function, could barely get by at work. I had muscle spasms so bad in my lower back I was going weekly for a deep tissue massage. I never believed in Fibromyalgia because I didnt want to be labeled with something they have no explanation for.
 
I was so miserable I had to find a new doctor. I made an appointment two weeks ago, drove myself and almost needed a wheel chair to get inside the building. Two guys were standing outside talking and said mam do you need help? Well what the hell I am 50 years old and needing someone to almost carry me inside. So I said yes if you would be so kind.
 
I met with the doctor and he listened as I explained all my symptoms that started last year in July with no feeling in my leg and how I had MRI's of every part of my spine and head and nothing was wrong. He listened for one hour. Never rushed me so he could move on. After he examined me he told me I have Fibromyalgia. I cringed at those words because how can I live with something I dont believe in. I told him my thoughts and he said it's not a label we put on people when we can't find out what is wrong. It's a real disease with all the symptoms you are having and your nerves are over firing and causing muscle pain and spasming. He put me on Savella, which has been a God send, change my sleeping medication and told me to continue on the muscle relaxers and yes gave me something for pain because he believed I was having excrutiating pain. I gained about 6lbs because of lack of activity but I still tried to maintain my diet.
 
Two weeks later I feel a lot better but still have pain but it is bearable. I am thankful to my new doctor and my husband who sends me weekly to get a massage. I dont know if I still believe in this disease but I know the medication I am taking makes me feel so much better.

Well I did it! I am now banded! Yesterday I had the lap band surgery and I don’t know how to feel and I am not going to stress over it. I had to be at the hospital at 530am and I guess my surgery was around 7 then only thing I remember was me being cold. The nursing staff was amazing and they took really took good care of me. There was a lot lap band surgeries going on yesterday. I had a walking buddy name Melissa and we walked around now the hospital floor at least 12 times. My dad is amazing he was off at 8am the morning and was with me the whole time. I was more concerned for him then myself but he was able to catch a few ZZZ while he was there. My best friend Mandy came up to see me and was there until I was discharge at 730pm. My dad stayed with me until Mandy came to my house. Mandy was my unofficial nurse last night. Oh I forgot to mention that my dad went to work last night! I was shock but that is my dad and that is why I love him!
 
Last night was hard because I had a hard time sleeping I thought if I sleep on my couch it would be easier for me. I was so wrong! However I was comfortable in my bed and I slept on my side and had some pillows on my stomach. I just had hard time getting out of bed. I have this fear of if I do too much I will burst my incisions. I am moving around my house hopefully some on of this gas pressure will get release. I feel like I have 5 burps stuck inside me so I am going to keep moving until something comes out. I have a water bottle besides me at all times. Sipping is hard but I think I got the hang of it. This is a slow process. I am not really hungry but I know I need to eat something more like drink something. I meet my surgeon and my primary doctor next week.
Today I will take it move around as much as I can and keep my momentum going!
 
Thanks for reading.

Hello all I no I been gone for a min. I had a lot of stress these past few weeks, and with stress comes band habits that I didn't let go and I own up to them. So with that said I put myself back on my liquid diet and I'm back to working out. So much so I fasted walked 6 miles today. How is everyone else doing.

I woke up this morning and I feel OH so much better than I have the last few days. I was starting to worry that I'd never feel ok again.
 
This surgery was harder than the initial surgery. It hurt more. It took more out of me. Mind you, I *am* almost 5 years older than I was then. Maybe that's it, maybe it's just coz I'm an old chook now lol.
 
I'm still on a liquid diet - full liquids, with the thickest thing I am having being yoghurt, and I'm doing it easily. I'm rarely hungry and this reminds me so much of when I was in my green zone, when I nearly never felt hungry. I have great hopes of getting there again now I have a new band in.
 
I've also lost almost 5lbs since surgery. I'm not trying to take that loss too seriously but, if I'm honest, I'm ridiculously happy because I've been so careful with my intake and exercise the last few months and not lost a measly lb without the band. This is why I went back to get a new band, because it works for me.
 
Next stop: the green zone. I have my first fill in a couple of weeks, and then hopefully it won't be too long until I'm back there again, and I can go back to happily living my life with my band like I did for the 3 years before the leak.
 
Fingers crossed.

Today is April 30th the last day of month.. May 1st will be here tomorrow. I am looking forward to May 9th my first nutritional class. I am so excited to finally face my journey. I am so happy that I have all kinds of support here. I hope and pray that this will work for me.. as I pray that surgery will work for all of you that are here for the same reason. May 13 will be my physical and then the 20th of May is the big day. Well, I will be back with more news on the 9th of May. In the mean time good luck to all my friends, follow directions, listen to your nurses, and exercise if you can. God Bless you all. Signing off Sheryl

So here I am, 4 days after full band replacement surgery. Feeling weird because I've done this before so I don't really relate to those who have just gotten their bands for the first time, but at the same time, knowing that what I'm going through isn't much different.
 
S why did I get a band replacement?
 
Well my band has been leaking for 15 months now, maybe longer. I was first banded in 2008 and had great success with the band, losing all my excess weight and more. In fact the band was so successful for me that I eventually had to make a conscious decision not to lose anymore.
 
I finally settled on a 'happy' weight of 128lbs and maintained for 3 years before one day feeling almost like something 'popped' in my belly. I was able to eat more for a while before hand but after that day, there wasn't anything I couldn't eat. I felt no restriction. So I took myself off to see my surgeon.
 
March 2012, I got port replacement surgery. The tubing had an obvious leak in it. All done. Leak sorted. Right?
 
Wrong. I still couldn't keep any restriction and soon they realised that, yes, I was still losing fluid from my band. This time, in Aug 2012, when I went in for a port replacement though, they didn't find any leak, so they didn't change anything, just sewed me back up.
 
Fast forward to early 2013. I have given up on my band working. I've gained 37lbs and with diet and exercise, I lose 15lbs of that, but it's annoying me, niggling me, that the band isn't working, so I make an appt to see my dr again.
 
I've lost fluid from my band. Again.
 
So after all that, 4 days ago, I finally got a full band replacement. I tossed up the idea of revising to a sleeve but decided to stick with the band because when it works, it works a charm for me.
 
Right now I'm really sore and sorry for myself. I remember feeling better far more quickly after my initial band op. They also moved my port from my right hand side to the my left hand side so I'm sore in both places now.
 
I've got some localised swelling but I'm hoping that it's subsiding. In the meantime, I'm having liquids, and have lost 2lbs already in 4 days, though I know enough not to really count those lbs in the long run!
 
I have a fill in 3 weeks so I'm hoping that I've now rejoined the band life for real.

I’m trying a few things to see if I can get my weight down on my own. Not like I haven’t tried a thousand times before but whatever. I measure out my food in increments – 1/4 cup, 1/2 cup, 1 cup etc. I try and eat half of what I’m used too – 1 egg instead of 2 ( or 3), 1 soysage pattie instead of 2; 1 slice of toast or maybe none at all. I use tiny plates, bowls, forks, knives, and spoons. I set my fork down between every single bite, I chew everything at least 30 times, and I try and make sure my meal lasts at least half an hour. It’s all much harder than you would think! Yesterday I made a snack of 3 little peppers cut up and 2 tablespoons of hummus last an hour. Here’s my breakfast today, eaten at 10:30 but I was pretty busy this morning. I also had 2 cups of my favorite coffee. One egg, one Morningstar Farms maple soysage pattie.

I didn’t eat the quarter. But I wanted too…
It seems to be working. I’ve lost 3.6 lbs since I got home from Florida last Friday night, and I’m down 6.8 lbs since my all time high just a month ago. Sure this sounds good, but I still have so far to go.
I know that this is basically how I’ll have to eat if I have the Lap Band surgery. But so far these changes seem to be working better than Weight Watchers ever did. Some weeks I would only lose 1/4 or 1/2 a pound. Ridiculous!

I have a serious problem with wanting instant gradification. I think I've always been this way. My mom says patience was never my strong suit. I guess this is way gaining weight was so easy for me. You eat, it taste good, instant grad. Where the calories don't build up to pounds quickly so I don't see the negive consequence so fast.
 
I went into this surgery knowing that the loss would not be instant, however I did believe I would have lost more by this point (only 55 lbs in 10 months). I did well the first little bit, but then it has taken me 4 months to lose 10 lbs. I worry that I've lost all I will lose, a co-worker has told me over and over that with lapband you only lose 50 to 60 % of your excess body weight, and I am right there.
 
With exercise I also find it hard to keep on schedule. Due to my desire for instant gradification I find it difficult to say walk, do the elliptical, lift weights for x length of time because I see no result afterwards. Now, I love cutting my grass (I push mow my .28 acre), working in my flowers, even cleaning my kitchen and house because when I am done I can see a difference- instant grad. I know I need a regular exerecise plan, but I am having a really hard time sticking to one. I can go a month maybe two then I slack off due to other obligations that get in the way. Once I don't do it one day it makes it hard to get back at it. The hubs fusses at me for this, but he does the same thing. At one point we were walking the dogs on the trail behind the house every night, but long hours at work rain, we don't do that now.
 
My eating I think I am doing well with. I am making good choices, eating small portions, and drinking water. I know that limiting my carbs more than I have already done may help me get it down even more, but I worry I wouldn't be able to keep that up long term. I am a meat and potatos girl, always have been.
 
I think basically I need to suck it up, put on my big girl panties, stop wining and do something!!! I find it easier to cut carbs than I think, I had a much easier time letting go of soda than I thought I would. The exercise may still be an issue, but maybe I will be more apt to do it if I get a gym membership- I don't like to waste money.
 
I am in contemplative mode right now, the pity party is over, I am planning now to get over this hump. I want to kick my want power into high geer!!
 
Please any one who want to kick me in the seat of the pants, bring it on. I want to move forward!

I love to shop for clothes, even if it's window shopping. Where I live in MA we have outlet stores about 30-45 minutes away and my husband is a people watcher. Perfect match! So today we went, the temp in Boston was around 60. I went into the Donna Karen store and they were selling daisy dukes. Can you picture us former over weight women in those with our Shar Pei thighs? Great picture, men. I just thought that was funny and I need humor. I did go to the Jones NY store and bought some 't's for $7. each and bought some for Mother's Day gifts, too. I love that store.
I was good today, my husband wouldn't let me into the Godiva store, OMG! I love their dark chocolates and yes, I do eat them.
Happy shopping, ladies and men.
Arlene

I love to shop for clothes, even if it's window shopping. Where I live in MA we have outlet stores about 30-45 minutes away and my husband is a people watcher. Perfect match! So today we went, the temp in Boston was around 60. I went into the Donna Karen store and they were selling daisy dukes. Can you picture us former over weight women in those with our Shar Pei thighs? Great picture, men. I just thought that was funny and I need humor. I did go to the Jones NY store and bought some 't's for $7. each and bought some for Mother's Day gifts, too. I love that store.
I was good today, my husband wouldn't let me into the Godiva store, OMG! I love their dark chocolates and yes, I do eat them.
Happy shopping, ladies and men.
Arlene

I love to shop for clothes, even if it's window shopping. Where I live in MA we have outlet stores about 30-45 minutes away and my husband is a people watcher. Perfect match! So today we went, the temp in Boston was around 60. I went into the Donna Karen store and they were selling daisy dukes. Can you picture us former over weight women in those with our Shar Pei thighs? Great picture, men. I just thought that was funny and I need humor. I did go to the Jones NY store and bought some 't's for $7. each and bought some for Mother's Day gifts, too. I love that store.
I was good today, my husband wouldn't let me into the Godiva store, OMG! I love their dark chocolates and yes, I do eat them.
Happy shopping, ladies and men.
Arlene

I love to shop for clothes, even if it's window shopping. Where I live in MA we have outlet stores about 30-45 minutes away and my husband is a people watcher. Perfect match! So today we went, the temp in Boston was around 60. I went into the Donna Karen store and they were selling daisy dukes. Can you picture us former over weight women in those with our Shar Pei thighs? Great picture, men. I just thought that was funny and I need humor. I did go to the Jones NY store and bought some 't's for $7. each and bought some for Mother's Day gifts, too. I love that store.
I was good today, my husband wouldn't let me into the Godiva store, OMG! I love their dark chocolates and yes, I do eat them.
Happy shopping, ladies and men.
Arlene

I am at peace


What can I say… I have accepted the fact that of me doing this pre op diet. Today is 4 day and I am at peace. I have lost 3 pounds and is ready to lose some more. I am more mentally prepared than ever and I just want to have my surgery and move on. I AM THE POINT OF NO RETURN! J I am looking forward to my ups and downs of being banded. So I wrote down my unofficial Top 10 things I look forward to being banded and I would like to share with everyone.
10. Crossing my legs
9. Finding an athletic hobby
8. Asking for a go box
7. Walking a 5K
6. Getting back into the dating scene
5. Cutting my grocery budget in half
4. Shopping for new clothes
3. Outlasting the day care kids at my second job
2. Reintroducing myself.
1. Standing in the mirror and telling myself….. DAMN I LOOK GOOD.
Not bad right? My momentum is still going and I am feeling good.
Thanks you for reading.

Taking the first step of a journey is both exciting and frightening. Add in the thought of surgery and it takes it to an omg level. But I am that desperate. I have tried just about everything – Weight Watchers more times that I can count, starting when I was just 25. Diet Center. Remember them? Pretty sure Diet Center single-handedly wrecked my metabolism. Appetite suppressants. Alli. Full bars. Slim Fast. Atkins. Every ‘fad’ out there. I did have that brief Golden Age (around 30) when I worked at a fitness center and worked out constantly and could actually keep my weight under control. As long as I ate barely nothing that is.
I have been ‘chubby’ for years, but the pounds really packed on when I quit smoking 6 years ago. And I have never been able to get/keep them off. I think I’ve gained an average of 15lbs/year. Ouch. I weighed 105 when I graduated from high school, and 120 when I was 20, and around 125-130 right before I got pregnant with my first baby. I did gain 50 pounds with that pregnancy but was able to get it off by her first birthday. I never really had a problem losing weight after having my children, but I was breastfeeding and super busy and who has time to eat? Unfortunately at 52 that’s not an option now! But don’t think I haven’t considered it. Joking! (Kind of).
Anyway, I need to do something. My husband would die if he knew how much I weigh. Pretty sure it’s more than he does, and he’s a foot taller. I have a brand new grandson on the way, and I would like to be able to get on the floor and play with him, AND be able to get back up. I would really like to go off my blood pressure medication, and the Rx I take for the arthritis in my knee. I have so many wonderful things going on in my life right now, and being overweight is like the ultimate buzz kill. I do a LOT of hard physical labor in the summer months, and the thought of having to start that up soon really depresses me. I can barely rake the yard much less do anything strenuous. I get out of breath just going up and down the stairs.
It’s time for a change.

So I am Felicia. I just turned 24. I have stuggled with my weight, well, since birth. I was always overweight. I can blame my parents and grandparents for force feeding me all the time, but that's what they know. I am 100% Italian. My parents both immigrated from Italy when they were younger. We base every gathering around one thing- FOOD. At a cookout in the summer, we would arrive at 2pm, stuff our faces with hotdogs and hamburgers. At 4pm there were steaks. Later (around 6) Chicken and grilled potatoes. Soon after, dessert. After dessert, we would hang out and the people that stayed later would always go for what we call round 2. Any cookout food left was fair game, you just had to man the grill yourself. This happened EVERY weekend. Sometimes both days.
It was always my choice what to eat and how much, but I always took my cues from the people around me. When everyone ate, so did I, even if I wasn't hungry. This would explain a size 16 juniors in 4th grade.
In 4th grade, I started my first diet. Weight watchers. I was the youngest member in the Westerly group. I enjoyed the ladies there, always very motivation. But I was a KID. I didn't want to count my pretzels for my afternoon snack. I wanted to run in the house and eat a tube of pringles with the help of my brother and cousin.
I would say that I have been on a diet since then. On and off again. All different diets. I feel like I have tried ever thing. Atkins, SouthBeach, Counting Calories, Lo-Carb, Seeing a nutritionist, HerbalLife, Ideal Protein, even the no food diet.
Before this surgery, my last diet was the Ideal Protein. It wasn't so Ideal. First off, you have to pay a 350 dollar start up fee. After that it was $100 a week for the packets of food. Three high protein packets a day. Then a meal consisting of 7oz of protein and 2 cups of veggies. And another 2 cups of veggies at another point in the day. No Sugar, No carbs. My body needed to be in ketosis. It was pointless to cheat because once out of ketosis, it takes three days to get back in. This means that I would have wasted three days of food (about $50) all for what. An oreo. It wasn't worth it. I stayed on track and lost about 40 pounds before leaving to study abroad in Italy. The land of pizza, pasta and gelato. I thought I would have gained everytihng back. But I maintained and actually lost a few pounds. Probably because my walk to school was about 45 minutes each way.
When I came back (May 2011) , like I said I maintained myself at around 215lbs. I was proud of myself. I tried going back to that diet, but it just didn't work out. I couldn't stop myself from cheating. It was a waste. I stopped it. With not dieting, exercise being non-existent, and the accessibility of McDonalds, Dunkin and Taco Bell, I saw myself at around 240 in no time, by the end of the summer really.
In October, I met my boyfriend. He is a string bean. Maybe it's because I was around him so much, that I starting eating like him. Fast food or a candy bar, chips, and gatorade for dinner. I escalated and by my birthday 2012, I was creeping toward 260. I was disgusted. I didn't know what else to do.
I was confiding with my sister and she told me about a surgery her sister-in-law had a while back. The lapband. It sounded like it could be my saving grace. We did some research and in May I attended my informational meeting. I decided that that is what I wanted to do.