dylanmiles23

A new small NSV for me. I needed a white belt for my summer white jeans and shorts. Being that I had a massive huge waist I bought an xl. Too big and they didn't have a smaller size, so took it and had holes made. Was in Kohl's the other day and bought 2 size large belts and they fit and past the first hole.
My weight has not changed in about 1 year but I guess inches are changing which is wonderful for me. Yesterday I wore a size large maxi skirt from Gap and I looked great. I don't know how to down load pictures, that is why you never see any of me.
Needed to share. Thanks for listening.
Arlene

A new small NSV for me. I needed a white belt for my summer white jeans and shorts. Being that I had a massive huge waist I bought an xl. Too big and they didn't have a smaller size, so took it and had holes made. Was in Kohl's the other day and bought 2 size large belts and they fit and past the first hole.
My weight has not changed in about 1 year but I guess inches are changing which is wonderful for me. Yesterday I wore a size large maxi skirt from Gap and I looked great. I don't know how to down load pictures, that is why you never see any of me.
Needed to share. Thanks for listening.
Arlene

Happy new month to everyone in WLS land. I haven't been writing much but I try to read about all of you.
​The end of July is my 2 year banding. Best thing I ever did. I am much healthier and I actually enjoy walking. My weight has been around the same for 1 year but my surgeon thinks I am at goal even though I would like to be 40-50 pounds less. I am around 190-195 right now. When I got married 43 1/2 years ago I was 144 and have not seen that number since. Under 200 maybe 2 times in all my married life.
 
I enjoy eating out and do so almost every day at least one meal. Bread is a problem food for me so only great bread in restaurants and then mostly the crust and dunked in olive oil. A week ago I was out with my grandsons, 6 & 14 and husband and I ordered fried onion rings. I had 1 too many and after very bad slimming and throwing up slim I threw up that f**kn onion ring in front of the boys. How embarrassing is that? The band tells you when to stop and you need to listen.
 
I enjoy outlet shopping and walking. I go almost once a week even if it is just window shopping. When I go walking I need to be someplace not just in my area, boring! So I went when it was the Memorial Day weekend sales!! OMG, I did good. I wear a size 12 shoe and Easy Spirit had sandals for 1/2 off. I bought 3 pairs for $80.!!!!!! Mighty fine value when you have huge feet and I am only 5'5".
 
​Congratulations to all who graduate this spring.
Enjoy your summer.
Arlene aka Eye Candy

Originally Posted on 05/21/2014 Link to original post: http://www.bigfatloserblog.com/2014/05/the-truly-scary-part-of-bariatric.html
Since I announced the surgery, I have had a lot of people ask me if I'm nervous or excited about the surgery. Obviously, it's a mixture of emotions. While the surgery is a large commitment, I am not really nervous about the procedure itself. Dr. Jones does more of these surgeries than I care to think about, and at this point I'm sure he could perform it with his eyes closed (although, I'm not volunteering for that). The hospital where I am getting the procedure is brand new, and high tech. I don't expect any problems.
However, I am scared of what comes after the surgery. I know what to expect in terms of my body and my health. I know what I need to do to ensure a successful surgery and recovery. What is NOT predictable is how the surgery will change me as a person. What do I mean when I say that? Well, I have known several people that have had bariatric surgery done, and it completely changed them. It transformed them into self entitled monsters. Granted, it doesn't affect everyone this way. I haven't noticed any changes in my family member that has had it done. However, out of the 5 people I know that got it done, only 2 of them have remained similar to their old selves.
Let me tell you story of my (former) best friend. He had a Gastric Bypass done. Before the bypass he was truly my brother. I spent every waking moment of my life with him from age 16 until he moved away to Houston. Amanda and I went and visited him about a year or so after his surgery, and he looked fantastic! My initial thought was how confident he was. I could tell he was happy in his skin. The longer I spent there, the quicker I realized that it wasn't only his confidence. He seemed a little different. He spoke of his friends there in Houston, and they were not the type of people we would normally hang out with. These people weren't good people. They dabbled in things and activities that he would NEVER have participated in before. He explained that he had "come out of his shell". He had the confidence now to meet new people and get out of the house. I dismissed it, because after all, he had always been overweight, and maybe it was time for him to sow his wild oats.
Fast forward to about 5 years in the future. I got a phone call one day from him. He was back in town, and wanted to visit. So, without hesitation I invited him over. We had some drinks, and I offered to let him crash at my place.
To cut a long story short, and because it's a little painful to talk about, it ends like this.
He hacked into my PC, he stole my credit card numbers, and he talked ALL night about people that were out to get him. Like some type of weird paranoid tweaker. He said filthy things about my ex wife, and was incredibly vain. Insisting I feel his arms because he was "ripped", and this went on all night.
I later learned that this surgery can change you. It can transform you into a different person. With confidence comes great risks. Especially if you have lived as a fat guy for most of your life. You get attention that you normally would not get. This can result in pretty nasty personality changes.
I am FAR from perfect. I have some issues with being selfish, and I can be a bit of a cynical a*****e. However, I pride myself on my manners, and try to have respect for others. I like me. I like my personality. Moreso before I started suffering with depression. However, I remember how I use to be, and I want to be that way again. I am terrified to let this surgery change me into someone that my friends don't like to be around.
I tell myself that the fact that I even acknowledge that this could be an issue may be a good sign. Being aware of my actions and behavior is the first step of preventing negative personality changes.
I learned from my psych eval, that as much as I would like to avoid it, Anti-depressants are going to be in my near future. With my past struggle with depression and anxiety, I simply can't afford to take any unnecessary risks.

Happy Marathon Monday from Boston. We are BOSTON STRONG!! Info about Boston. The Marathon is always run the closest Monday to April 19th, that is Patriot's Day. In MA it is a holiday and also school vacation. Our spring vacations are not around Easter but this week only.
 
The wheel chair racers started, then the women and finally the men. They have all started. This is a very important day in Boston. For WLS people, every day is an important day, why? because we are all running with our new journey.
 
I am far from a perfect Bander. I eat wrong but my band does say, Arlene, stop eating. This past week I had two stuck dinners. Ate too fast and too much. But I am the marathoner and I will not let this stop my journey. I have been too good with the gym either and my legs were tired yesterday. I thought I would do 5 minutes on the bike. My friend was there, so we talked and before I knew it, I did 11 minutes. It felt great!! Today is my MIL's 91st birthday and we are taking her out for Japanese food for lunch. One of the steak house restaurants. I will have shrimp, a filet, veggies and a little rice and I will feel good about my choices.
 
Well, I hope everyone in WLS land has a wonderful Patriot's Day. That was when the battle of Lexington and Concord happened. In June we have Bunker Hill Day. In March was evacuation day which was also St. Patrick's Day. Boston has a lot of history days. I went to Boston public schools and those were no school days.
 
Enjoy the spring day.
Arlene

Happy Marathon Monday from Boston. We are BOSTON STRONG!! Info about Boston. The Marathon is always run the closest Monday to April 19th, that is Patriot's Day. In MA it is a holiday and also school vacation. Our spring vacations are not around Easter but this week only.
 
The wheel chair racers started, then the women and finally the men. They have all started. This is a very important day in Boston. For WLS people, every day is an important day, why? because we are all running with our new journey.
 
I am far from a perfect Bander. I eat wrong but my band does say, Arlene, stop eating. This past week I had two stuck dinners. Ate too fast and too much. But I am the marathoner and I will not let this stop my journey. I have been too good with the gym either and my legs were tired yesterday. I thought I would do 5 minutes on the bike. My friend was there, so we talked and before I knew it, I did 11 minutes. It felt great!! Today is my MIL's 91st birthday and we are taking her out for Japanese food for lunch. One of the steak house restaurants. I will have shrimp, a filet, veggies and a little rice and I will feel good about my choices.
 
Well, I hope everyone in WLS land has a wonderful Patriot's Day. That was when the battle of Lexington and Concord happened. In June we have Bunker Hill Day. In March was evacuation day which was also St. Patrick's Day. Boston has a lot of history days. I went to Boston public schools and those were no school days.
 
Enjoy the spring day.
Arlene

It's been two months since I got my lap band. Tomorrow I'm getting my second fill. So far I've lost 37 pounds, 15 during the pre-op diet, and 22 since my lap band surgery. I've been to parties, and dined out at restaurants and I'm still losing. When I went out with friends last week, I brought my own take home container with me, and packed up half my dinner before I started eating it! I've changed the foods that I eat, but generally I don't feel like I'm on a diet. That's why I'm so surprised that I'm still losing weight. In the past, when I tried to eat like a normal person and not diet, I would always end up bingeing and gaining weight. Maybe it's because I've cut out my trigger foods from my diet. I don't feel deprived, though. I eat a lot of protein, and no junk food. I am hungry a lot, but I know that it's going to take a while before my band is in the green zone. I also know that I have long way to go, and a lot of weight to lose. I'm trying to focus on small goals not the the big picture.

Hellooo fellow fat fighters! Welcome back to my warped world of wobble. It's true I don't see things the way the most people do. Some call it weird. Some call it inappropriate. Some like it. Some don't. But I call it the way I see it. Through my own pair of kaleidoscopic glasses. If you're a liker, read on for more of my magical mushroom musings. If you're a hater, stick around anyway. I might publicly embarrass myself. Again.
 
Anyhoo .... Let's start with a few facts for newer readers. This can also refresh the jellies that my loyal readers call brains. Hey, if you're hanging around this blog, your power of cognitive thinking is probably lacking that of a confused hamster. Or you obviously don't have anything better to do. Either way, Let's all assume that the overall retention rate of my readers is, well ... what were we talking about? Oh, yeah .. right. A little recap.
Here ya' go.
 
December 2012 - Couldn't fit my fat ass in a plane seat. Almost needed the belt extender. Realized I had a weight problem.
January 2013 - Had my 1st consultation for Lap Band surgery. Was hoping to get it done in a week.
February / March 2013 - Saw doctors and shrink. Had Farewell to Food Tour. Fought insurance company.
April 8, 2013 - Level 3 pants explode. Started emergency diet. Fought with insurance company.
May 15, 2013 - Had Lap Band surgery
May 16, 2013 - Started new life.
 
Last April 8th, I hit the scale at 254.5 pounds. This may not sound like a whole lot to some with similar struggles. But I am of smaller stature. This weight put my BMI at 43! I was a short biggun! Had there been a remake of the Wizard of OZ, I would have gotten the Mayor of Munchinville part hands down! However, since there was no hope of a munchkin comeback, I knew I had to get started, regardless of my doctor's or insurance company's schedules.
 
My emergency diet worked. My Lap Band is working. My new lifestyle is working. It's all coming together. I set a goal for myself of 169 pounds. Today's scale visit shouted 179 pounds. I am 10 pounds away from my original goal. If I can lose about 1 pound a week, that will put me at goal right around my Bandiversary on May 15. That would be Mission Accomplished.
 
As awesome as it will be to hit that goal, that is not my current mindset. First of all, if my goal is 169, I damn well better get down to 165. All dieters know that there will be upward fluctuations upon return to a normal food life. I certainly don't want to get all giddy at 169, have a party and wake up the next day at 173. That would be muy depressing. So for what it's worth, I have decided to play this thing out for the rest of the year. I am going to continue doing what I am doing as far as food, drink and exercise and let the chips fall where they may. If I get down to the 150s by then, maybe Santa will bring me a new wardrobe.
 
Via Con Dios!
Johnny T
 
Fat Fanatics! Email your comments and questions to:
 
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I will answer all questions and, who knows, your pithy comments might make the blog!
 
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I went clothes shopping yesterday & for the 1st time in a LONG time, I saw something different in my reflection as I tried on a pair of pants. I took a long, hard look at myself, tilted my head & actually saw myself as "thin." Yea, that's what I said, THIN! I actually fit into size 8 pants. Yup, a size 8. I think my average pant size in high school (31 years ago) was a 10, so I'm fitting into smaller clothes.
 
I saw a pretty sleeveless little black dress in the fitting room (size Medium) that someone else left behind. Feeling a little brave, I figured ah, what the hell. I haven't warn a dress in YEARS so let's try it on. Oh... my... goodness... Not only did it fit, but it actually looked really nice! I mean, it really looked nice. I had an attractive hour glass figure. Seriously, me! I came out of the dressing room to show my husband. He winked and said "very nice," followed with, "are you OK?" I smiled because I actually had tears in my eyes. I was overwhelmed with such emotion. I didn't cry but I could feel something deep inside me. It almost felt like a happy confusion because there was no denying that I was no longer overweight.
 
I'm still amazed. After 1 1/2 years on this weight loss journey, I'm finally comfortable & quite happy in my own skin!
 
Ahhhhh..... feels good, damn good!!!

Wooo, finally my GP has sent of my referral letter so now hopefully we can get started on meeting the surgeon and then I'll know more. It's quite frustrating that for just under a year, all I've been waiting for is my DR to send off one sentence and they lied .. but still, I just want to look forward. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, done that way too many times. Going to set myself goals to keep motivated..
 
1. Do the 7 minute workout each day.
2. Try get an appointment asap, don't wanna be forgotten about again.
3. Log into this site more, it's really useful and great people!
 
That's it for now, wish me luck.
 

 
♥

Happy Wednesday
How is everyone? I know I haven’t been on here much lately but I’ve been really busy at both jobs.
My new work hours have been a real adjustment for me. It has been challenging but I think I have getting the hang of it.
I will say this planning my meals has really helped because it eliminates the temptation of me eating fast food and eating junk food at the day care.
The Day Care is my trigger because I am surrounded by cakes, cookies, and chips.
A few weeks ago I noticed me eating item more often. This is not good because I am still a t plateau.
So one week I started bringing salad and Greek yogurt to the day care. So I started sharing my meals Fun Boy (my nephew). So he now loves Greek yogurt.
Last week Snowmagendon hit the Mid-west again so I had left a salad at the day care since my sister 2 kids at the day care I told her go ahead and get them my salad.
The kids loved the idea and they started bragging to the other day care kids about my famous salad.
After taking to the parents and my sister we decided to have salad 2 days an week for snack.
Each time the kids will add something new to the salad or we will buy a fruit or veggie they never had before.
So far this has been a success! My only complaint is they kids a drowning their salads with ranch dressing! Will be wrong if I replace the Hidden valley ranch with a healthier version of a ranch dressing?
I am just happy my day care kids are enjoying salads now even though they are going thru to bottles are ranch dressing!
This is why I love them. I wonder what I can get hooked on now???
Even though I am still at a plateau I love my band!
God is good
Thanks for reading.

Hello everyone. I have been reading everything but just haven't written much. I am busy with my family. My 95 year old mother's mind is getting worse. Last week she didn't recall my name. That sucks. My mentally challenged brother, he is 6 years older than me, is a handful. Tomorrow we are looking into adult day care for him. I hope it works.
 
Today my oldest son is 39. Can't believe I have a child that old. I baby sat his son, Max the other night. Max is 14 months and priceless. Laughs, yells and loves to eat fruit.
 
I belong to a gym and Friday was my first time there since November. I went yesterday and today and I feel much better about me. It was like starting over again. I went slow and didn't push myself but loved it. Do you know what you call people like me that pay and don't go to the gym?, profit! My husband won't get off his fat ass and go with me.
 
A high school friend posted this, funny and dumb: I want to die like my grandfather, in my sleep, no pain not yelling and screaming like the people in his car. I have a weird sense of humor.
 
Before the band my tops were either a 2 or 3 xl plus size woman's. Yesterday I bought a new sweat shirt, size misses large! Yeah! me! Now to just get rid of the muffin top which is my largest part of the body.
 
Everyone have a great week. Thursday, Boston is either getting lots of snow or rain. They don't know yet.
Arlene

Hello everyone. I have been reading everything but just haven't written much. I am busy with my family. My 95 year old mother's mind is getting worse. Last week she didn't recall my name. That sucks. My mentally challenged brother, he is 6 years older than me, is a handful. Tomorrow we are looking into adult day care for him. I hope it works.
 
Today my oldest son is 39. Can't believe I have a child that old. I baby sat his son, Max the other night. Max is 14 months and priceless. Laughs, yells and loves to eat fruit.
 
I belong to a gym and Friday was my first time there since November. I went yesterday and today and I feel much better about me. It was like starting over again. I went slow and didn't push myself but loved it. Do you know what you call people like me that pay and don't go to the gym?, profit! My husband won't get off his fat ass and go with me.
 
A high school friend posted this, funny and dumb: I want to die like my grandfather, in my sleep, no pain not yelling and screaming like the people in his car. I have a weird sense of humor.
 
Before the band my tops were either a 2 or 3 xl plus size woman's. Yesterday I bought a new sweat shirt, size misses large! Yeah! me! Now to just get rid of the muffin top which is my largest part of the body.
 
Everyone have a great week. Thursday, Boston is either getting lots of snow or rain. They don't know yet.
Arlene

Hello everyone. I have been reading everything but just haven't written much. I am busy with my family. My 95 year old mother's mind is getting worse. Last week she didn't recall my name. That sucks. My mentally challenged brother, he is 6 years older than me, is a handful. Tomorrow we are looking into adult day care for him. I hope it works.
 
Today my oldest son is 39. Can't believe I have a child that old. I baby sat his son, Max the other night. Max is 14 months and priceless. Laughs, yells and loves to eat fruit.
 
I belong to a gym and Friday was my first time there since November. I went yesterday and today and I feel much better about me. It was like starting over again. I went slow and didn't push myself but loved it. Do you know what you call people like me that pay and don't go to the gym?, profit! My husband won't get off his fat ass and go with me.
 
A high school friend posted this, funny and dumb: I want to die like my grandfather, in my sleep, no pain not yelling and screaming like the people in his car. I have a weird sense of humor.
 
Before the band my tops were either a 2 or 3 xl plus size woman's. Yesterday I bought a new sweat shirt, size misses large! Yeah! me! Now to just get rid of the muffin top which is my largest part of the body.
 
Everyone have a great week. Thursday, Boston is either getting lots of snow or rain. They don't know yet.
Arlene

Whew! I just got back from my third road trip in the past few weeks. I know I haven't been keeping you in the loop. I've been busy! I told you I was going to be gallivanting around the country. So I hope you'll forgive my tardiness. I have certainly felt the wrath of some of our more ardent followers. Believe it or not, there are few fatty fans out there who just can't live without this blathering blog. One or two are even a bit stalk-ish.
 
(Note to FeelingFatInFinland: Yes, I got your e-mail. No, I won't send you a photo of my bare ass with all the stretch marks connected in red marker. I can't reach that far. Besides, if you really need to see something like that, a detailed road map of Cincinnati would probably do the trick.)
 
(Note 2 to BiggunInBoston: The answers to your questions in order are: Yes, No, Three at a time, On my head, NEVER!, Boomerang, Oink oink baby and jelly.)
 
That takes care of this weeks fan mail. I will share more in the future.
 
OK, now to the news. As previously stated I have been on three roads trips in the last 3 weeks. Staying on my self prescribed 1200 calorie a day plan was difficult. Logging my food choices was not an option. Eating the right foods all the time was a struggle. Staying away from alcohol was impossible. The bad news is I gained about a pound and a half. But I think I 'll be able to dump that by Friday after a week of detoxing.
 
I'm not upset. I'm right where I expected to be. I mean really. I spent a few nights in the foodie paradise of New Orleans and then 5 nights partying at a golf tourney in Palm Beach. Honestly, I feel pretty much unscathed. I really did watch my food intake. I ate every meal out. So I tried to eat the right fruits and fishes where possible. I watched my portions. Other than a small binge on plain M&Ms that were mistakenly sent to my room, I avoided all sweets. Pretty much a home run.
 
Unfortunately, Johnny likes his booze. All flavors as a matter of fact. We all know that booze is a secret diet killer. The more you drink, the thinner you think. The thinner you think, the more you eat. It's a vicious circle. Clearly, Mr. Booze (or AL C. Hall as we know him) are the enemies of restraint. And I succumbed repeatedly to their liquor-i-ous offerings. Martinis, Cabernet's and Merlot. Greyhounds, Screwdrivers, Bloody Mari's and a frosty margarita. As a salute to the Olympics, I even sprinkled a few White Russians in for good measure. A regular cornucopia of adult beverages.
 
Hell, I get it! It's back on the ol' wagon for me today. I'm tracking my food, I'm off the sauce and I might even try to get in a workout or two. I'm leaving for the Valley of the Sun in 3 weeks and 4 days. I'm planning on being under 180 when I get on that plane. SO let's do this. Phase 2 of the Deconstruction of Johnny has begun! I have about 28 more pounds to lose by May 2015 according to Dr. X. I might as well start now.
 
BTW... I saw Dr. X before I left for Florida. I'll update you on that next time.
 
Soooo long for now.
 
Johnny
 
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This is a quick review of the Omron HJ-112 Pocket Pedometer. I've had it for a few months and if you're looking for basic, accurate pedometer with no frills, this one works well. But it does have a few drawbacks.
 
Update 12-19-2013: I've had a chance to compare the accuracy of my Omron to a GPS device. It was very accurate, considering that my stride changes in length depending on how energetic I feel. Over the last month, I have done 3 mile hikes several times a week, the Omron was only 2 tenths of a mile less than the GPS on average.
 
If you like/dislike my videos, please thumb up or down, and leave a comment about how I could improve the content. Your input helps me become a better Youtuber. :-)
 
Keep Pimpin' that Sleeve!
 
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Well, not technically.
 
But we forget that we have to work our minds in this process just as much as we work our body.
 
If you are constantly thinking or saying negative things, then that is the energy you are putting out into the world and it is what you're gonna get back.
 
A long time ago, I was sick of going to bed every night feeling anxious and laying there, having a thousand things a minute running through my mind. I decided, I want a quiet mind.
 
When I couldn't go to sleep, I would stop myself and try to think of an image. You could pick anything, but for some reason, I always chose an apple. Sometimes green, sometimes red. I would picture the apple in my head. I would look at all of the details. The stem, was it long or short? Did it have that little rough edge on top? I would look at the body of the apple. Was there a shiny part? Were there little brown spots on the skin? How about the bottom of the apple? Did it have 3 or 4 little bump feet like red apples have or was it smooth? What about the little brown spot on the bottom. Was it rough?
 
By doing this I was changing the focus of my mind. I was slowing it down. Sometimes, I would picture that apple for about 15 seconds before my mind was already back to racing thoughts. But after a bit, I would catch myself, and go back to the apple. Each time, doing my best to push all the other crazy thoughts aside. The more I did it, the easier it got to quiet my mind. Really, it's sort of a form of meditation.
 
The same goes even during our waking hours. If we succumb to the negative thoughts, they will consume you. We have to learn to push them away. To ignore them until they disappear.
 
I thought about this today at the gym. I spend a good part of my time there comparing myself to others, being self-conscious that I'm the fattest person there. Why do I have to have people running on both sides of me, when all I can do is walk? Do they purposely get on the treadmill next to me, so that they look better? All very negative thinking. And I keep reigning myself in. Stop it, Leigh! Stop thinking these negative thoughts. What does it matter? I don't even know these people. I don't care about them or what they think and I'm not gonna let these thoughts hinder my progress. I've found that as time goes on, it's easier for me to get rid of these and just focus on what I'm doing. The less you give into the negativity, the easier it is to get on with your life.
 
So don't forget to work that muscle that is your mind. It really may be the most important part of this weight loss journey. We have to learn to control our mind. Bring the subconscious forward into consciousness and be truthful to ourselves, no matter how painful.

Well after 7 weeks and an already monumental transformation of both weight and body shape as well as the nagging from my wife over the past two weeks in regards to how silly I look in my old "Fat" clothes I submitted and went shopping for my first new wardrobe (I say first as I think there'll likely be another new one before this is all finished!!).
I was sleeved on the 19th Dec '13 and well there's been as many difficult moments as happy ones, it's a huge transition to make and bad habits die hard. My overriding decision to have this surgery though still holds true now because it was those choices that put me where I was, but not only the choices but the amount that I poured down my throat.................Now whether I want to or not my body simply will not tolerate it and to go against it means I actually lose a meal and those very important nutrients I need because too much now spells a trip to the toilet and a vomiting session. It's now been 2 weeks since my last session like that and i'm now both confident and comfortable in what I can eat, I've learnt to listen to my body where before I reacted through my eyes.
I began as slave to the scales as all of us overweight people do jumping on every other day looking for that high generated from declining numbers, but then had two episodes where the number actually went up yet I knew within myself I was slimmer. It's now been 2 weeks since I last stepped onto the scales and I don't care what the numbers might say I know I've lost further weight and my biggest confirmation came over the weekend shopping for some new work and casual clothes.................
At the commencement of my journey middle November '13 my clothing sizes were as follows:
 
Pants - 112-117 (44-46) waist
Shirt - 4xl (50 neck)
Pullovers - (3xl - 5xl depending on label)
 
As I said I knew and felt that I had dropped weight but us "Fat" people still look in the mirror and only see that Fat person we've known for so many years and don't register the new person emerging. So therefore I kept on wearing the big clothes, over sized t-shirts etc and would close my belt an extra loop each week or so. My wife kept telling me I needed to get some new clothes as i looked ridiculous in my old stuff. So finally I relented as I said above and cleaned out my old stuff of which I had to agree did now feel and look silly (some stuff was tight 3 mths ago and now are huge on me!!!).
It's been over 15yrs since I was able to walk into a department store and shop from the rack, years...... My wife made it clear that we would not be just selecting the size I believed I was, we would be trying everything on and purchasing what fits firmly now to cope with the additional losses still to come...................My "Fat" mind was saying sure, sure this is gonna be a shameful and fruitless exercise, but I humored her and said ok.
And here are my results.....................
 
Pants - (Jeans, dress pants & shorts) 92cm waist
Shirt - XL, dress shirt 43
Pullover - XL-XXL
 
About 3/4 through this expedition I stopped and remarked to my wife that I was struggling to believe what was happening and was actually a little emotional, of course in the back of my mind I fantasized about being that slim person but you all know the drill after trying and failing for so many years it felt just that, a fantasy. But to actually now see the changes and feel the changes and see the sizes on the labels of the clothes was simply crazy I just couldn't comprehend it...............I can now though and I am so grateful I decided to take this step and am thrilled at the man emerging from that great shadow cast by the guy that occupied my body before........................

In the last few Seasons of Biggest Loser I've watched it less and less. Once I seen Dolvett and his demeanor with those he's training I started to get more interested again but never as much as I did in the first few seasons.
This status isn't about Rachel and how thin she looked. I admit I only barely watched the finale yesterday and yes IMO she took it too far. That said, she is extremely competitive and she won. Is it okay? Probably not but that is something only she herself can work to correct.
It's really UNFAIR to judge her because I know how it can be to take anything too far. I have an addictive personality and I empathize with her. Who would I be but a hypocrite to demean her. All I can do is pray she remedies herself.
All that said it is also VERY UNFAIR to lay blame on her trainer. I highly doubt Dolvett would approve if he knew she took it that far. And especially shame on NBC and the comments left by Bob and Jillian on this issue. Personally Jillian constantly cracking her whip on those she's trained in the past makes me think she is full of hypocrisy! I can not support her anymore, as I had in the past. When she returned after leaving the show for the enth time she came back softer but I'm unsure it was from the heart. That's her cross to bear though.
I will never again watch BL. I hope Dolvett does leave the show but as he does to take his personality elsewhere. To train people in a positive, respectful and healthy manner. From what I see of him, that is really what he is all about.
Losing weight should never be competitive! ! I fight against this all the time. Anyone who is obese already lives their life with feelings of low self worth and inadequacy. So then we display a bunch of severely overweight people and put them in front of a TV screen, put them in a bunch of ridiculous scenarios and expect to be entertained by it? No. No more.
This show is a clown song and dance... and shame on ME for partaking in it for as long as I did. In my own defense though I watched it more for the inspirational factor, but I see now that is not what it's really about.
And I will not continue to be a part of the problem.

Well it has been three months since my last blog (6 months from surgery) and I'm happy to say I've lost another 30 lbs for a total of 90 lbs lost!! Current weight- 274. Whoo-hoo!! I think this is the first time ever that I've lost weight during the holidays. I've been averaging a loss of 10 lbs a month. Very happy with that. I've been getting very small fills. In fact I've only got 3 cc's in my 10 cc band. I still don't have alot of restriction but I count my calories, exercise and follow the rules. We've had a very cold winter so instead of doing my walking outside I've been doing low impact cardio workouts. My two favorite being Shapely Girl and the Biggest Loser Power Walk. I'm looking forward to warm weather and today I signed up for the Blue and You fitness challenge. This is something I did last year and it's basically just making a commitment to exercise 3 days a week for at least 30 minutes. Now what I'm really excited about is that I signed up for my first 5K!! It is May 3rd and I have the option to walk but I would love to run as much as possible. I know I can easily walk 3 miles but I haven't even attempted to run. I have wanted to try running but I don't want anyone seeing me. I know this is something I need to get over but when I go to the walking trails the only people I see running are already really fit and skinny. Ugh!! Well time to get over it because starting this week (wait it's snowing) ok next week I'm going to start training for this 5K.
 
So besides all that my band seems to being doing well. I have had some pain in my left shoulder for about 3 months now. At first I thought I had injured it but then I realized that the way the pain would come and go, hurt when I would bend over for any length of time (cleaning) and when first laying down in bed that it seemed to be a nerve issue. I did some research and found that it is not uncommon for bandsters to have this pain. It is caused by a nerve- phrenic nerve- that runs through the diaphragm. It hurts everyday but luckily not ALL day so I can handle that. Other than that I haven't had any problems really. There is nothing I have found that I can't eat (but alot I choose not to!!)
 
Oh yeah, I had a pretty sweet NSV this morning. I was chatting with a co-worker this morning and looked down and realized that I had my legs crossed. Wow! It's been a long time since I could do that.

Hello there, I'm your Lardy Duchess and I'm wanting to write about my weight loss journey.
 
I was a skinny child, really skinny, and was sometimes called "boney". I haven't been called that in many years and really, I'm not aiming for that ever again. In my late teens I began to gain weight.
 
Somewhere in the 1980's I lost all that excess weight, and promptly put it all back on. I think at the time I just thought that simply because I lost it once, I was good for a lifetime. Since then I've been on every diet known to mankind. I don't want to name them all here, but I can't think of one well known or notoriously horrid 'diet' I haven't been on. I've tried deprivation, excessive exercise and now, now that I'm in my mid 50's, I'm announcing right here, right now, I'm done with all of that. It's destructive and harsh and horrible.
 
For those that say - well now come on Duchess - you can do it. Just control yourself and exercise, I say yep, that is great, everyone should do that. I can do that - until I can't do that. Until I can't stop myself. This is like an addiction - on the wagon - off the wagon. Dieting/not dieting. It never ever ends. I come from a family with addiction and abuse issues. That's not an excuse - it's merely a reality. And I feel addicted to food. Unhealthy food in unlimited portions, in scary sizes. It dominates me, dominates my thoughts, controls me. If you've ever been there, you get it. If you've never been there, I suspect you won't understand.
 
Then again this blog isn't for you either probably. Many things have contributed to this weight loss blog and I'll be writing about some of those issues, but I also value my privacy and may elect to not be public about everything. It feels like if I write it all down, and tell those that can relate on some level, that somehow, someway I'll mend myself - a selfish endeavor maybe, but it's my truth.

Hi everyone, new here, so worried, been referred for WLS, consultant recommending sleeve. My worry is that I have heard that the sleeve is not so effective as the bypass. Want to be healthy, and more active, don't want to fail. Fed up been judged, and a great source of entertainment to others. Anyone have worries???

So sorry it's been forever- life seems to creep up on you and next thing you know- you don't have 3 seconds to sit down and blog. lol
So- I've hit and passed my dr's goal, and my own goal...I'm currently at 149, in a size 4/6 pants, and a Medium shirt. I've lost a total of 106#, 8-10 pant sizes and 4 shirt sizes
 
I'm saving up to have breast augmentation...they're WRECKED and I'm trying to figure out if my insurance will cover a tummy tuck, or if I'll have to fund that myself as well. I have lost over 100# so I think they might cover it, but they didn't cover my surgery- so I'm doing leg work on that right now. I'm with Blue Care Network in Michigan...so I'll keep everyone posted on that.
Life is amazing. I'm happier than I've ever been...I feel good, I look good- I have more energy- I'm motivated...this decision has changed my entire life, in every single aspect.
I recently re-started a 30 day challenge, and have been working out everyday, I'm waiting for this TERRIBLE Michigan weather to break so that I can start walking...and hopefully running outside this Spring/Summer....I'd like to try doing a 5k this year- that's my goal...so here's to that!
 
Here is a progress picture I wanted to share with you too.
Thanks to each of you that offered support, encouragement, or just an ear when I was having a hard day (or a good day!!).
 
I'm going to make a better effort to keep blogging here too- my journey is not over..no way! This year is just the start of the rest of my life

The Journey Starts Today!
 
A few days ago I finished my pre-op tests and everything is finally in order! Today I started the liquid diet to get my obese liver in shape for the big day. I find myself constantly thinking about the impending surgery every day and hour. Am I making the right choice? Should I just try traditional weight loss one more time? Am I going to regret this decision? I've been thinking it over since last October and I think the pros out-way the cons so I am ready. I weighed in this morning and of course the battery on my scale is on the fritz. Go figure. Anyway, I got one more reading out of it and I weigh 291. Not proud of that number but at least it's not the 313 I was about 18 months ago so I have that to be proud of. Anyway, that's about it for now. We'll see how things go over the weekend. I'll check in on Super Bowl Sunday with how things are going. Go Seattle!

Last week I saw my PCP. He did some labs, and I received my results today. My thyroid levels were in normal range. My cholesterol was good. But more importantly, my blood sugar levels were within normal range!!
 
I have type 2 diabetes. I've been insulin independent for about 9 years now. My sugars have always been uncontrolled. It's a daily struggle having Diabetes. I'm not going to go into these challenges on this particular entry--but I will later on.
 
Anyways so back to my topic. I was on the insulin pump when I had the surgery on 12/20/2013. After the surgery I was taken off the pump but I still had to take insulin (Novolog). Today my doctor told me that I can discontinue the insulin and start oral medications (Metformin,Glyburide). I am so excited! I know this may not sound like a big deal to most folk. But for me it is. I no longer have to inject myself with a needle in the stomach 4xs a day.
 
When I first started the insulin, I was told there was no turning back. That I would be on insulin for the rest of my life. A very depressing thought for a 20-something.
 
Skip to today. I thank God I was able to have this surgery. It's given me a new life.