bhabydoll

I am getting banded in 18 days. I have been researching this for over a year and have met with multiple doctors before going ahead with this. My best friend is not supportive at all. She is staying with my husband and I so I am dealt with her negativism every day. Some people say because she used to always be bigger then me and then i gained and she lost so now shes smaller, that she is jealous. I hope that is not the case but her attitude about it is borderline mean in my opinion. She works at my (primary) doctor's office and is his assistant. When i needed paperwork from him she took her time and blamed the doctor. She makes a point of pointing out every patient they have with the lapband that has had complications. and some bypass patients who have died. I find it hard to believe that there isn't one of their patients with a success story. She makes sure to tell me every time i get excited. I was telling my mother in law the risks of dying during surgery, which were primary related to having surgery itself not the lapband. Those complications could happen with any surgery. But she made a point of telling me I could easily die. Tonight she really upset me. I am in my last supper stage and eating my faves I know I wont be able to have again since I don't have to start liquids for another week. I had tacos tonight and i had 2 leftover and said I would eat them for breakfest. She looked at me and said she didn't think I would have the will power to do this and that I don't understand what to eat. That if I eat 2oz it has to be a healthy 2oz not 2oz of crap. I know this! I have done the research, she hasn't! I just looked at her and said I wish you would be more supportive and not so negative and she replied its hard to be supporitve when I disagree. And she made a point of telling me how a client came in with the band and has gained weight and has had complications. and the woman's mother came with her and lost 50lbs in a month from portion control and excercise (i think 50lbs in a month is a stretch...) She says that she doesnt agree with it. That it is an easy way out and I just am lazy and don't want to work. (Shes a little bigger too). Does anyone else think this is mean? Have you guys had similar experiances? And if so how do you handle them? Amd I just overreacting? I would really appreciate some advice or personal experiances because beside my husband, and sister she is one of the most important people to me. So I would appreciate her support, besides this issue she is the best bestfriend ever. :help:

Thank you everyone for all of your support, We hav finally had it out and are still friends. In her mind she "supports" me by being with me helping me recover after. She says I knew she disagreed with it. I consider support what you guys are giving me. You guys make me feel good with all your advice, and warm thoughts. My DH read this post and was touched by how wonderful and caring you all are. I am getting banded in 3 days and I cannot wait! I will update you on my surgery and It really helps to have great people like all of you who are so positive and inspiring. Thank you all!:eek:

Thankyou for the advice. Unfortunatly she is living with me for awhile so I have to see her everyday. A co worker pointed out to me that she may be jealous of more then just the weight loss, shes jealous because her lifes in turmoil shes living with me because of a bad breakup. and shes jealous i have a wonderful husband, a big house, a successful career. The weight loss would be the icing on the cake and all of that combined makes her envious. I dont know if this is true but it sounds logical. I hope for things to get better and if anyone else reads this i would still like to hear your stories of how you handled unsupportive people. Thanks!

Thankyou for the advice. Unfortunatly she is living with me for awhile so I have to see her everyday. A co worker pointed out to me that she may be jealous of more then just the weight loss, shes jealous because her lifes in turmoil shes living with me because of a bad breakup. and shes jealous i have a wonderful husband, a big house, a successful career. The weight loss would be the icing on the cake and all of that combined makes her envious. I dont know if this is true but it sounds logical. I hope for things to get better and if anyone else reads this i would still like to hear your stories of how you handled unsupportive people. Thanks!

Thanks! Congrats to you to! I sure will July Bandsters. Woo-Hoo

Hi BJ long time no talk! This is Danielle in Waldorf. I have been so busy getting my stuff done. But i got approved and am all set for surgery! I am going to the same Dr. as Pamela and I am having surgery 7/2/07 at Holy Cross!!! BTW how is everything going since your fill? Are you still feeling hungry? :clap2:Danielle

Pamela, Hi Pamela I decided to make an appointment with Dr. Rickford. I thought it wouldn't hurt to talk to another doctor. Is Dr. Rickford the one who told you to lose the weight? Did he say why and if you don't mind me asking what is your BMI and/or weight. Thanks Danielle

<p>Don't Worry Everyone, I will not be going to Southern Maryland Hospital. I met with Dr. Kalan and he was very nice. I really liked him and he made me feel comfortable. BC/BS said that I don't have any pre op requirments except to have the BMI. But when I went to the Doctor today I was told BC/BS would want everything before she submitted it. Everything I am okay with (all 6 tests) except the 6 month physician supervised diet. I didn't do that even though I have been thinking about lapband for sometime because my insurance said I wouldn't need it. I called Dr. Kalan's office and told her BC/BS said to just submit it but she said the doctor would make me do those things no matter what for liability reasons even if insurance says I don't need it. Is that normal? or has anyone ever heard of this before? <img src="http://www.LapBandTalk.com/images/smilies/help.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Help" smilieid="256" class="inlineimg" /></p> Oh and Janine When I to BC/BS they told me if you went with a preferred provider they would cover 90% of the cost. So 5-7Kseems a little steep. I was only estimating 3K at the most. If you go with a non preferred surgeon they only cover 80% so maybe that was the case.

Hi I have BCBS federalalso and have been having a little problem finding a doctor. I live in southern Maryland so I was going to go to Dr. Waggener at Southern Maryland hospital. Now they dont know if they have a team to do it. So I searched and search my provider directory (BCBS told me to look under general surgery) and I found Dr. Kalan. He actually just did surgery on my father to remove a part of his colon so I know he will be good, but have you had any news if the insurance company has approved you? I was just curious how long it would take once they submit it. Thanks:o

I have decided to get the lapband. I meet with my doctor on monday. I have BCBS fed. I have called numerous times because a lot of times people tell you different things. I live in MD and my husband works for the federal government. Our group number is 105 (standard options plan). I have been told by evey single customer rep i speak to that it is covered. If I use one of their preferred doctors they will pay for 90% of the cost. The only thing out of my pocket is the 10% and my decutable of $250. If I use someone outside of their network it is 80/20. I even verified this with a different surgeon I was talking too. His office contacted BCBS fed and got the same info. The reps have also been extremly helpful and nice with me. I also made sure there were no qualifying things such as a pre diet, psych eval. etc. All I have to do is meet the norm. requirments. 35+BMI. If you have BCBS fed. it is very easy to look up one of their preferred surgeons. You go to their website: fepblue.org and go into preferred provider directory. Enter in your zip or location. You have to look under surgery or general surgeons and just kind of go through and see who does bariatric surgery. Also to the right of the box you will be filling in there is a little box that says preffered canters or hospitals something like that and it has BCBS Fed bariatric centers. So I would guess if you picked on of those you would be even better off. I hope this helps. I will post after my appointment on monday to let you know if the insurance will go as smoothly as it sounds.