today I went to the swap meet.i saw a gorgeous yet petite jumper outfit so I walked in cautiouslyand asked the foreign saleslady how much for it.
she quickly [goofy smirk] replies : it not for you no fit you haha nonono! .
thats all I needed......that was it.
I willing answered her with : " no.....its not for me." smiled with courage and happiness
not sadness and kindly in my head finally
spoke these words to myself:
"so long...goodbye...i must leave you behind now"
referring to all of my 230 pounds n five foot three old me.
with 6 days left til surgery I have parted ways
with that 18 years of extra weight extras and extras of 18 years of tears heartache and sadness
18 years of being buried under this rubble of
my skin...
today I said bye and so long........