makemyownluck

GOOD LUCK! I'm still wayy pre-op, but I'm hoping for a surgery date sooner rather than later! Can't wait to see more from you and hear of your progress!

oh man - I just started thinking about my estimated surgery date - early january '13 - and I forgot about needing to put on socks and shoes!! HOW QUICKLY I forget about these things during flip flop season! I had a compression bandage thingie (actual medical term, LOL!) that went around my waist when I had my gall bladder taken out. I haven't been sleeved yet, but they are similar as far as the laparoscopic part and I know that having support on my entire abdomen was helpful so I could move comfortably. I wore spandex under everything for a few months after that surgery.

"I don't need to be the smallest, mind you. Just not the biggest." yesssss!!!!!!!!!!! I don't even think about this in terms of how I can get to be a size (insert number here) - just in not being known as "the really fat woman" or similar descriptions. I shudder at the thought of how anyone would describe me to someone else who hasn't met me before. Good luck to you! Can't wait to see your progress!

I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling. I haven't been sleeved, but I did have my gall bladder taken out about 5 years ago laparoscopically. I was also uncomfortable in ANY position, as you describe. I couldn't lay down in my own bed for two weeks after surgery!! I'm kinda fearing the same for a sleeve because I don't have "that good chair" anymore to sleep in! I suggest, like the others, that you get something for pain - rx or otc is better than suffering. Be patient, it will get better!

I talked to my PCP about it today, and I'm not sure if he's just unaware of the actual process or what - but I'm just starting to feel like I'm not getting anywhere... I call BCBS and they refer me to the PCP, my PCP seems vague when I talk to him about what I need to do before getting referred to surgery. I have a NUT visit scheduled already (soonest they could see me is 8/22) and now i'm just about to lose my mind figuring out where to go for a psych eval - the *** doesn't require a referral, so now I'm on my own finding someone who will take my insurance AND do a WLS psych eval... 4 calls so far, still no luck. UGH!!! But - all this will be worth it when it's done, right? :\

...to check my bp, remove a mole, and let him know I have the appointment with the dietitian. hopefully all goes well. also, I want to ask him which hospital I would be referred to or if I get to choose. In outside of Chicago and there's lots of options, and I have NO idea how to choose which one to go to... too bad they're all equally far away and inconvenient for me! Convenience is hardly a factor! anyway, hopefully I'll have more answers tomorrow about the steps and how long it could take to get a referral to the bariatric dr. Does anyone know the process for bcbs IL h.m.o.?

I've been doing a lot of thinking on this since I posted (seems I can't think about anything else! GAHH!) and I think what it comes down to is this: - I really don't want the band. - I'd rather try this and see if I can be successful without doing a 2nd surgery to get the RNY or switch... I'm nervous of the long term complications of those two, with the nutritional deficiencies. I think that this will be a catalyst to make me lose - and ANY loss is better than staying where I'm at, right? If it takes me longer to get there, that's fine. I'm not doing this to be a size 6 by tomorrow, anyway... it's so I can actually move around and enjoy my life and actually have STORES to shop in for clothes (instead of online, sorting thru stuff that looks like my grandma would have liked!). I'm too young to feel this old, just cuz I'm big!! thanks for the replies, all - and for pointing me in the direction of where to get more info from the bigger folks like me who had more to lose.

I saw a glucose monitor commercial that looked like it was marketed toward 13 year olds the other day. and it made me sick because IT IS marketed at 13 year olds!! that's where we are as a society!! (at least, in the us. I'm too fat to fly - LOL!) don't let anyone shame you for making a choice to change your own life for the better. if she's that much bigger than you, she's probably that much more miserable about it, and this is her way of reinforcing her OWN decision to do nothing... she's projecting her negative thoughts about it on you. kill em with kindness... next time (hopefully there won't be one) just tell the person you're doing this to improve your health and move on!

I felt like I got nothing done at work today. I kept getting up to make phone calls, it was so frustrating. After three days and multiple attempts, I finally got through to the scheduler for the dietitian my PCP referred me to. The earliest they could get me in was August 22nd at 1:30, which happens to be the day after my birthday. They told me to chart my food intake as accurately as possible for a few days before the visit and that's about it. I asked if they had a high capacity scale, and was a little surprised that they don't. She said she would ask if the heart institute office (next door to them) had a high capacity scale and call me back... but I never heard back from her today. She seemed friendly enough, but then again, she's the scheduler. Nice is in her job description. The scheduler also mentioned that I should double check that dietitians are covered for weight loss, some insurances only cover for a recent DM dx. So that had me away from my desk for another 30m later this morning. Talk about being distracted from work!! I gotta ask - what gives on the scales? It's extra embarrassing because most scales are max capacity at 400 and I'm guessing I'm in the 420-440 range. I'm actually a little scared to find out, considering I haven't known my actual weight in years. Is this common? Am I the only fat person who doesn't obsess over their number? I think I'll be shocked to get the accurate weight, quite frankly. I don't know how I'm gonna feel about it when it comes right down to having THAT NUMBER in my head. Anyway, so I had to email my boss and work out some flex time (want to save that PTO if I can!) so I can go to this appointment. I've never really had to ask for flex time, so this recent influx of requests from me got her to finally ask me if everything was okay. I was reluctant, but I had a chat with her about how my bp recently spiked and my MD and I discussed surgery... it was like I was in the frickin therapists office... but she shared some personal stuff with me and in the end, it was kinda nice. And she reassured me that she wouldn't talk to anyone about it, and she wished me luck - even went to the HR lady and got some details about STD benefits if/when I get surgery scheduled. I swear, I only actually committed to wanting to do surgery like 8 days ago and I feel like it's just been a run away train since!! Anyone else have some similar pre-pre-pre surgical stories to share? Or any sage wisdom to help me through all these really overwhelming and stressful times?

That's meant to say do you/did you have H. M. O. ... the edits on this board are silly! lol

I'm going to print this out and take it to my appointment on Monday and show it to my doctor. I don't want to delay the inevitable! Sneaky how BC put this in at the END of the policy, in the part most people never read!! But I'll still follow my doctor's advice, but I also want him to know I'm serious about surgery and want to pursue it aggressively. Do you/did you have ***? What is the referral process like? How much "work" did you do with your PCP vs. your surgeon?

HAH - that's such a condescending phrase, anyway! How is that encouraging?! lol But yes, definitely a funny pun!

I am nowhere near even having a surgery date, but I've already pondered the "who to tell" topic frequently. My office is very gossipy, with my direct supervisor leading the charge, so I'm very worried that everyone will know... then again, I'm sure an extended absence and sudden, vast weight loss might tip them off too, so I think this story has inspired me that safe is better than sorry! I don't care what those gossipy crows think about me, anyway!!

So, this morning on my drive to work, I got to thinking about "being on a journey". I've always found the whole "this is a journey" thing a little cheeseball, but now that I'm ON IT, I realize it's a completely accurate description. The trick will be staying on it! I started envisioning this process as a road trip (my favorite) and it struck me that I'm still in my driveway, and I'm not getting on the road today! I got the referral to the nutritionist in the mail yesterday but when I called, the scheduling office was already closed. This morning I left the dang paper at home so I couldn't call at work. By the time I got home, it was too late to call again!! Better luck tomorrow, I already put it in my purse for tomorrow, I did make SOME progress today. I called my insurance to verify that WLS is a covered benefit on my ***. She said it is "as long as your PCP says it's medically necessary" but I already know there are other prerequisites. The woman on the phone just kept referring me back to my PCP - she didn't even know what a vertical sleeve gastrectomy was!! Fortunately, I used to work for the company that I'm currently insured through, so I knew how to locate their medical policy online to get the requirements myself. I was surprised to find they haven't changed much in the last 5 years since I worked for them! LOL! AND! VSG IS COVERED! yay!! Eligibility: be at least 18 years of age. CHECK! Be BMI 40+. (less enthusiastically) Check. **the rest I still need to do: Documentation from the surgeon that I have completed: - a nutrition program, which may include a VLC diet or recognized commercial diet based weight loss program AND - Behavior modifications or behavioral health interventions AND - Counseling and instruction on exercise and increased physical activity AND - Ongoing support for lifestyle changes to make and maintain appropriate choices that will reduce health risk factors and improve overall health AND - psych eval w/i 12 mo AND - absence of psychological comorbidity that could contribute to weight management and/or an eating disorder AND - patient willingness to comply with preoperative and postoperative treatment instructions. Seems like a lot, but really it's what? Nutritionist consult (working on scheduling that), a psych eval (need to ask about that), and going to the seminar the hospital does should cover the rest. Right? Or am I way off? I'm getting worried about how much this is going to cost. Despite being on an ***, i have a LOT of out of pocket expenses. I have a $500/day copay for the hospital stay. Plus it's $40 copay every time I see the PCP and goes up to $60 for specialists (including the nutritionist I have to see (at least 4 visits, per my referral slip), the psych eval and visits to the bariatric Dr. too!!). I can just see this being a real financial hardship. I know it will be worth it, and it's NOT a deterrent for me, but I'm just realistically trying to see how I can squeeze this money out of my budget right now and the outlook is not good!! I was trying to realistically think about how much time I could AFFORD to take off work when I have surgery and I started getting a little panicky! How am I going to afford this? WHY does my insurance suck so bad (I WORK FOR AN INSURANCE COMPANY - I WOULD THINK I'D GET THE BEST!!! WRONG!)??? And then thinking about long term expenses like how am I going to afford all the new clothes I'm gonna need? And the vitamins and protein shakes, and gym membership and yadda yadda yadda - and then I realized that that's why it's a journey. And why it's especially like a road trip. All this hardship and work and everything is like a long, sweaty ride to The Grand Canyon. The one where you're in a car with a bunch of people and the air went out, and you're all crabby and you've been on the road for a couple of days and starting to stink and you're delayed because the car broke down and then... you get to The Grand Canyon. And it's amazing. It changes your life. You'll always remember the moment you saw it, and chances are, you'll recall the trip as a lot more fun than the reality. It's the destination that's important and makes everything else worthwhile. But the getting there is a real pain in the you-know-what. *sigh* So yeah, I'm already starting to get overwhelmed, but I know that all the sacrifice will pay off. I'm keeping my eye on the prize, but there's a lot I need to work out. IF my timeline for this that's in my mind (based on my various research and talking to my dr.), I could be eligible for surgery as soon as December. And if that's the case, everyone I know is gonna just have to DEAL with not getting a present from me this Christmas!! lol!! In the meantime, I'm just going to have to keep my mind on my money and my money on my mind for a while... and STAY POSITIVE!

This fear is what has kept me from getting surgery when I first considered it at age 22. I'm (almost) 32 now and have only ballooned even bigger in the last 10 years!! I look back now and WISH I was the same weight I was at age 22 - and I thought I was at my max BACK THEN. Also, I have worked in health insurance for the last 10 years as well - In claims, pre-authorizations, AND in underwriting, so I've seen the good, bad, ugly and UGLIEST of things people have gone through with these surgeries. I feel like I've seen it all!! But on the flip side, I could also be one of those unfortunate people that strokes out or has a heart attack in their 30s simply because they're too fat. Would I rather give up cake for the rest of my life or be paralyzed? Uh, I'll pass on that cake... What really made me open my eyes and say this is the better choice is that I was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure. Despite lifelong obesity, I've remained relatively healthy. The only major medical problem I've had is gall stones and I had my gall bladder removed right away with zero complications. Other than that, good blood work, good bp (until recently), good everything else except being big. I just know that without this tool, I'm going to fail at losing weight as I have been doing for my whole life. Weight gain and/or complications are just bridges I'll have to cross when/if I get to them. In the meantime, the best thing we can do for our health is to THINK POSITIVELY! Whatever weight loss plan you ultimately choose, surgery or not, it's gonna require patience and commitment - and plenty of setbacks. That is what makes our journey our own. Good luck! You can do this!

Thanks to all of you for the kind words and support - I'm so glad to have a board like this where I can say how I feel and not feel like a weirdo!! Leslie, this is ringing SO TRUE with me right now. I think there are people, even other overweight people, who really don't understand the burden it is to carry this weight around. This is NOT the easy way out or a weak person's solution... if anything, I'm taking the HARD ROAD because I want to have this drastic surgery and there will be no going back when it's done! And you saying that after 32lbs you feel the difference just reinforces that - 30lbs can change your life! Good luck to all of you in your progress. I look forward to hearing more from all of you!