makemyownluck

what else do they talk to you about? I'm so nervous about this - IDK what the "right" answers are!!

Your RNY friend may have a point. I don't think I'd be looking into surgery if I was 60lbs overweight. Of course, I don't know... personally, I'm 200+ overweight and so I really see this as something I need to do because I'm in a drastic situation. But you DID ask for her opinion and she gave it to you... you should really listen to what she's saying. She's saying that SHE would do it again, because she was 200lbs overweight. She had complications, but it was what she had to do to change her life. Maybe if she was getting it done now, she'd do a sleeve - who knows? She's assuming you'd have the same complications, which may or may not be true. I think what she's saying is that she would go through the complications again because it got her to where she is now, but she wouldn't go through all that to lose 60lbs... That said, it's your choice whether or not to have surgery, and considering you are diabetic, I'd say it's the way to go because you are going to have to change your eating habits either way and this will be a helpful tool. For someone with 60 to lose who didn't have co-morbids... idk... seems like a drastic step. But everyone makes the choice for themselves, and if you WERE NOT a candidate, then no surgeon would operate on you! The MD can decide if you're qualified, you have to make sure YOU'RE PREPARED. I wish you luck! Take your friend's advice for what it is - an educated, but not a professional opinion. In the end, if they are your friends, they will support whatever decision you make.

I've only recently started contemplating surgery and this board has helped me SO MUCH in deciding that this is the route I need to go. I haven't really started making changes yet, I see the NUT next Tuesday and I'm really excited to make a lot of changes. So, I don't know that all of these will be valid for much longer... I confess that I have never stepped foot inside a gym in my entire life (not counting school gyms, obviously) and that this fact embarrasses me. I confess that I'm scared of being embarrassed by going to a public gym. All those people! WITH THEIR EYES!!! I confess that I am extremely worried about being a mess with loose skin all over the place if/when I have surgery. I confess that I have no idea what my actual weight is, and that I'm more than a little nervous to find out the actual number. (6 days til that NUT visit!) I confess that I fear I've lost my chance at ever having a child because I allowed myself to be this fat for this long. I confess that not having children breaks my heart, despite always saying that I didn't really want have kids. I confess that since I brought the idea of having this surgery into my head, I've been a complete basket case. I confess that I'm okay with being a basket case, especially if I'm learning things along the way. that's enough for now!

I agree it's a pain, but I'm willing to beg at this point!! Hopefully it won't be too awful to get this done. I'm so frustrated not having any direction. I can't find anything on the whole world wide web about anyone having wls thru bcbsil h.m.o. how is that even possible! Lol Ill keep everyone updated!

Good point, Tex! I can't believe people think it's their business to say. When someone tells me they're divorced, I don't tell them "Oh, you took the easy way out, huh?" lol

People like to have opinions about things they know very little about. This is true of the general public, which includes our friends, coworkers, family members, and maybe even ourselves. How many years have we all suffered being obese because we had our own stigma about having surgery? I know I'm guilty of that, and as a result I've wasted years of my life that I'll never get back. This surgery isn't something you do for anyone else. It's something you are doing for YOU - and that's the only opinion that matters. Be smart and make informed decisions and you'll always be a success. Good luck to you! Weight loss is not easy - no matter what road you take!

I was going to suggest the thigh pain could be a clot as well....

So, I was sitting at work today and as my shift was winding down, found myself daydreaming about VSG again. I got to thinking (and worrying myself) about post-op living and long term care. Would I require b12 shots for the rest of my life? will I ever be able to eat sugar again? what about reflux? will I have unending reflux that requires lifelong treatment? Am I putting myself at risk for complications that far surpass the initial post-op recovery stage? what am I really thinking about doing to myself?!??!?!?! As I'm thinking myself into a panic, my phone lights up for a new email and this distracts me from my thoughts. A UPS order that I placed wasn't delivered because UPS requires a signature. I have no idea why, but UPS pretty much refuses to leave packages on a first attempt. They require a signature even if the sender doesn't require a signature. It's so beyond frustrating, every time I deal with UPS, I have to call them and get into a huge argument about this. I hate it! The package in question? My fat girl pants - for girls too fat to shop in normal stores. So yeah. That pretty much cinched it for me - I need to get out of these BIG GIRL britches ASAP!! All this stress/phone calls/talking to supervisors/getting SERIOUSLY TICKED OFF is because I need my giant pants. So sad! So what if I need Nexium forever - better than needing MAIL ORDER CLOTHING!! Anyway, thought this ironic tale might give someone a needed chuckle today.

I have the same fears. I have been at my job longer, but I just know telling my boss that it will eventually get around the office. The fact that your boss only thinks of the negative (i.e. you missing work for surgery and not you potentially dying by being obese) just confirms that there is still a lot of stigma around this type of surgery. I'm so sorry that you have to go through it. My suggestion is to let it go. Going to HR or talking to her about it will just make it worse, and right now you need to stay positive. If word gets out, it gets out - all you can do is be true to yourself, be honest and do what you need to do to secure your physical and mental health. The only opinion about your medical history that matters is yours and your Doctors. If your boss does anything to specifically call you out, that would be the time to involve HR. Otherwise, save yourself the stress, stay off the boss' radar and keep doing your job so you can get PAID. That's all that matters, bottom line, is that you do your job and that they pay you to do it. Don't rock the boat. You have way more important things to deal with than someone elses prejudice. Be the example of how WLS is a positive thing.

I've made a gajillion phone calls in the last 2 weeks, I think! I really just wanna get this show on the road so I can get referred for a surgical consult. I had a Dr. visit today. This was follow up for my visit 2 weeks ago when my bp was way high and he put me on meds, I've been taking them as prescribed and they're working. He says he'd like it to be a little lower, but that it's better (I was 138/80, down from 162/92 2 weeks ago. Yay drugs!). So we talked more about surgery and I swear I'm more confused than when I went in. I mean, I understand the requirements, but I'm just baffled about what hospital I would go to. I guess I'll let that part work itself out and focus on the other stuff I need to do in the meantime. HMOs really are a pain. I never understood when people said that, but I've also never had to do anything like this before. HMOs are super, if you don't actually need major medical care! Here's my August schedule for MD appointments: 8/22 - 1st nutritionist visit. I'm actually looking really forward to this! I want someone to sit me down face to face and show me what this process is gonna be like. And to get started being healthy now would be great and help with the pre-op weight loss requirement for the surgeon. 8/28 - back to my PCP to check the bp again, then we'll do a pap (I'm wayyy overdue) and an EKG since that's gonna be a requirement pre-op. I hate pap tests. I'm really not thrilled about this. It's not even the poking and prodding, it's the sitting in stirrups and a too-tiny paper shirt when you're 200lbs. overweight. I feel sorry for anyone who gotta look at alla that! But it's all in the name of health, right?? :\ 8/29 - psych eval for WLS. I'm really, really curious what this is about. I've had counseling before, but this just seems... IDK. Odd. From what I read there's a quiz. I'm intrigued. Must I study for this quiz? lol So ya - never been to a NUT before, never had an EKG, and don't know what to expect from the psych eval. Anyone have anything that might help me through any of these? Look forward to replies...

Patience has never been a virtue of mine. I'm already feeling a bit overwhelmed by this process. I'm starting to get the feeling that I'm doing the wrong things and that I'm wasting a lot of good money on all this medical stuff and I'll just have to start back at square one when I (hopefully, finally) get to a bariatric surgeon. So many, many steps. I just hope it's not all in vain. Guess I'm just feeling a little down lately. It's CRIMSON TIDE time, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. Also, my nut called and said she needed to reschedule my appointment. Now, instead of going the day after my bday, I'm going ON my actual bday. That should be fantastic. :\ First nut visit where I discuss all my bad habits and resolve to change them on the same day that I usually go out for an extravagant dinner and have drinks and cake. Awesome. I guess this is as good a time to start as any... wouldn't be able to indulge like that after being sleeved anyway! I'm too tired to do the perky, keep your head up thoughts afloat right now. Just gonna ride this out and see where it takes me. I'll try not to stay bummed out. *le sigh*

I will go to dinner, darn it! It's gonna be my BIRTHDAY, after all! When the NUT called to reschedule (she called, not someone from her staff), I mentioned that it was my birthday and told her to go easy on me. She said she's always nice on the first visit so you'll come back. I wonder if she was kidding! lol Thanks to all of you for the support and hugs - I appreciate it! I just straightened my shoulders and put my head up - as long as I can stay positive, anything is possible. I can will to this!

So, I'd say I'm PRE-pre-op. I'm terribly obese. I can't even tell you how obese because my doctor doesn't have a scale that goes that high. He hasn't had a scale that goes high enough... for a while. I'll be 32 in exactly 20 days and I've been fat my whole life. I've never been happy about that. I've never been proud of it. In fact, I've mostly tried to ignore it and hope everyone else does too. I've literally been the elephant in the room. I considered surgery so many times in my life. But, I don't know, there was something nagging in the back of my mind saying that surgery was a bad idea. For whatever reason, I decided that I need to do something now. I've already "wasted" so much of my life being fat - because, sadly, I am a total hermit and don't go out, therefore have been single for WAY too long. I have zero confidence when it comes to men. Furthermore, I don't even like the idea of having someone touch me right now. I disgust myself. I know that might come off as totally self-loathing, but I really don't hate myself. I hate my situation. I want to change it. As someone who has tried to keep blinders on about it for years, I actually think it's the healthiest thing for me to look at myself through a strangers eyes. I'm no longer some chubby girl who's still kinda cute. I'm FAT. I don't want to be anymore!! So, looking around at the various surgical options, I think I really want VSG. I talked to my PCP on a visit 2 weeks ago about surgery and he said we can get started so the insurance will approve it. He's referred people for it before, people with similar insurance as mine. At this last visit, I was also officially diagnosed with high blood pressure (160/90) and he put me on meds to bring it down. I go see him again Monday, and I have a whole bunch of questions written out for him. I've been seeing him for years and he respects me (I think) and he knows I have some medical knowledge (I'm a health insurance underwriter - YES, I'm probably that jerk you hate that declined you coverage) so I'm really hoping to get a better understanding of how the process works and what I can do to speed the process along. I got a referral to a Nutritionist from him on my last visit, I'm calling them tomorrow to schedule an appointment. (the referral came in the mail today - NO, I promise I haven't been procrastinating since 2 weeks ago!!) I'M SO NERVOUS!!! I talked to my best friend about it last weekend and she wasn't as supportive as I thought she'd be. She's also overweight, but not nearly as much as I am. Despite the fact that we've shared with each other multiple times how unhappy we are with our weight, I really think she sees WLS negatively. She's the kind of friend who will support me anyway, but I just feel like deep down, she thinks I'm making a mistake - and that bums me out. Then again, I was one of those surgery nay-sayers 3 weeks ago, so I can also understand that A, the news was probably a shock and B. I could be projecting. She's got serious issues of her own to deal with, so maybe I'm putting too much value into the conversation! I told my mom about it today. She was so happy for me! She's also overweight and said, "I've been wanting to do something like that too, but I'm too scared to take the plunge!! I'll let you go first - PAVE THE WAY!" I wish I had talked to my mom before I talked to my friend!!! (Isn't that how it always goes? lol) Anyway, Mom agreed to take good care of me post-op, so I got that part taken care of, albeit incredibly premature. I realize I've barely dipped my toes in this whole process and I'm already so anxious to do this! I want my life to change. I want to go through what everyone describes here - the ups, the downs, the highs, the lows - I just want to turn my whole life around so I can go run down the street if I want to, or not have to worry about if there's a close parking spot or if that friend's house has a bunch of stairs.. OR ICE IN THE WINTER!! Ugh! I swear, FAT GIRL NITEMARE is falling on some ice and it's impossible to GET UP!! lol - gotta keep a sense of humor about these things, right? Anyway, I really look forward to this journey. I hope I can stick to it, I hope I can get this done... wish me luck! Hope to find some cool people with a sense of humor to get through this process with on this site, and IRL.

@jaded, I feel that may be the case. Between the 2 of us, she's the "skinny" fat girl. I'm pretty sure that my single girlfriends have never considered me as any competition. Not to make all my friends sound like jerks, because they aren't, but of course I'm the friend they can trust not to steal their man, because NO ONE is looking at me anyway! *sidenote; i can't feel flirty again. It's been so long! She's also been trying to diet and exercise since I've known her and I'm always the one who doesn't make her feel guilty eating a whole pizza with. Once we can't EAT together all the time, what will we do? I think I'm going to start going to the gym with her. She's invited me before, but I've never stepped foot in a gym and I'm nervous. I know that I'll have to take the plunge soon enough!

When I set the appointment, I specifically asked if they handled psych evals for WLS and they said they do... My PCP told me to get the psych eval so he could submit the request to refer me... but my plan recently changed so no referrals are done for psych care anymore. Supposedly it's to give the patient more choice, but I could really use some direction! So I'm hoping since I specifically said I was coming for WLS psych eval, they will be able to do what I need... it's just a regular counseling center, tho. They seemed to know what I wanted. Maybe I'll call them tomorrow to make sure...

best advice ever!!! I'll be keeping this in mind for myself.

Saggy skin is going to happen. It's inevitable. But if you work out, it will slowly start to shrink. And if you had stretch marks in those places already, they might get worse and the skin is less likely to ever look smooth again. I haven't had surgery and I already know this is all FACT! But - you are going to learn to see yourself differently. It is true that young age and lower starting BMI will help you have less of it than others, but it will be there. Go to the spa, sit in a sauna, get massages... these will help tighten you up as well. And WORK OUT! The harder you push yourself, the better results you will get. I'm still working out getting a referral to a bariatric surgeon, so I'm a long ways from surgery. I hope to be on the track you're on very soon. Good luck! It's only gonna get better from here!

You're an inspiration. I feel like maybe I'm reading parts of my own "after" story - because I have actually considered not being able to look at something and know if it will fit, and what it will be like to buy clothes at any story - I've been mail ordering clothes for a few years now and it just makes me sad. When I get to a healthy weight, I'm sure I'll have a hard time looking at myself in the mirror naked. I've thought about this! I'm definitely not doing this for vanity, because I already know my body is gonna be a mess. But I'll take a smaller mess over the one I have now! Good luck to you. Be proud of all you're doing and how you've stayed on track. You're doing it right!

I've worked in insurance 10+ years and can tell you from my experience, we don't sit on paperwork. We have print outs and spreadsheets tracking everything we do. Any correspondence is time stamped and every company has turn-around-time goals. If something gets "old" we're going to be asked what the hold up is. When it comes to pre-approvals, on our end the hold up is with OUR medical staff. Why is that? IDK. Doctors run on their own time, I think. And as far as your doctors office not getting back to you, I'd ask if there's an office manager and speak to that person. If they can't help, then tell your surgeon that their staff is irresponsible with returning phone calls. That's not a responsible way to run a practice, and the MD should be aware if an office manager is unable to resolve the issue. I would normally err on the side of patience as well, but when you're lied to (i.e. them saying they didn't get the letter/it's still in nurse review) that's the end of being patient! Did you offer to fax a copy of yours to them? It should have most of the same info... In any case, try to keep your cool, but don't lay off hounding them to get their jobs done. good luck!

good luck getting approved, sramos89! I hope you get an approval! I don't know what doctor my MD would refer me to. I plan on calling my H.M.O. tomorrow to see if they can help - I want to get registered for the seminars/classes in the hospital that I would be in, but I really don't know which one I'd be in. I talked to my PCP Monday and he gave me the name of the MD he would refer me to (who I looked up and is a vascular surgeon), and said I would most likely get surgery done at Sherman Hospital in Elgin, IL. But they don't have a bariatric program! I don't want this done by a surgeon who doesn't specialize in bariatric surgery! I'm kinda hoping that he was wrong about that and I'll get referred to Alexian. The surgeon that he mentioned is also affiliated with Alexian, so maybe with the H.M.O I have to go to the vascular surgeon first then get referred to bariatric? IDK. I hope not. That seems like a waste of time AND my money (specialist copay is $60 on my plan!). long story short, I'm lost. I'm just doing the other pre-op stuff at this point and we'll see what happens from there. :\ I have a psych eval on 8/23. What's it like?

I keep reading conflicting info about if the sleeve is appropriate for people with high BMIs? I am not sure of my weight, but I know I'm probably in the upper 50s on my BMI, if not even low 60s. I've got a lot of weight to lose and I'm wondering if this is the way for me to do it? I'm turned off to the lap band because I don't want something foreign in my body and I don't want to do fills. I don't want bypass because I'm worried about the malabsorption issues for the rest of my life. The sleeve sounds like the best option for me, but I'm wondering if I'm setting myself up to fail with it? Any High BMI'ers out there who were successful without getting a bypass or switch afterward?

good luck to YOU with getting approved!! I am glad I don't have to do a sleep study - but I thought an upper GI would be mandatory, but my PCP didn't seem to think so... I'm just worried that it's the blind leading the blind, but maybe when I get what he's asked for already done, he'll be more encouraged to research this more thoroughly so I can get the answers I want. Baby steps, I tell myself. This isn't gonna happen overnight! The chick I scheduled the psych eval with said that it was only like 50-55 minutes, though. I might call to confirm that because I was really lucky that the place for the eval is literally across the street from where I work. I took their soonest appt and thought of going over there on my lunch break, but if it's going to be a 2 1/2 hour appointment, that's not an option!

thank you keldollbeth and everyone, really for sharing their experiences. I am just so confused about what I need to do to get referred to surgeon that at this point, I'm just going through the motions of the pre-op requirements. I have the NUT visits and the psych eval scheduled. I'm going in a few weeks for an EKG and to get a pap done since I'm long overdue. I really am interested in the NUT visit and following a diet because, you're right, it's better for me as far as being a surgical risk, not not a bad idea to ease into a new eating regime since it's all bout to get flipped upsidedown when surgery happens anyway! I really hadn't considered the idea that a dr. wouldn't refuse to do surgery before seeing weight loss... I kept focusing on the insurance requirements and getting the testing done - didn't even think about what the actual surgeon would want! Ya learn something new everyday on this board, and for that, I'm so thankful!