makemyownluck

FAGE is so yummy - my absolute favorite is the peach! I've tried every other brand of Greek yogurt I can find in the storeand by far, Fage is the best around!

What an emotional day. Went to my surgeon appointment today. After waiting AN HOUR past my appointed time, I was taken to a room where I waited another 30m to see the surgeon. She was a bit curt, in my opinion, but my mom said "She was just being a doctor." The good news is that I've lost 12lbs in the last month. Considering I have been sick and not been to the gym in two weeks and Thanksgiving came and went in the last month, I'm pretty excited to see some weight loss. It makes me wonder what my true starting weight was since I was unable to weigh myself for so long. That's about the only good news I got today. :\ My blood pressure was up to 142/75, which isn't horrible, but is worse than it has been the last few times I've been to my PCP. IDK if I should chalk that up to nerves or what. I'll ask my PCP about it tomorrow. The bad news: The surgeon says I'm too heavy to operate on. That my weight and the fat distribution being mostly in my gut makes me too much of a surgical risk. Now, I was kind of expecting to hear something like this... I expected to be told that I needed to lose some weight prior to surgery. But then she said she wouldn't even consider doing surgery until I lost 50 or more pounds. That once I lost 50, THEN she'd put me on the liquid pre-op diet for THREE TO FOUR WEEKS to lose even more weight before surgery. WTF??? So all told I'd lose like 75 or more lbs before I even hit the operating table. That just seems... IDK, excessive to me. Not impossible, but I do feel like it's asking a lot. :\ And not only the amount of weight I'd have to lose being a lot, but also the extended liquid diet just sounds like torture to me. Definitely not what I was hoping to hear. Then I had to go meet with the dietitian, who went over my current diet with me and told me that I'm already on a good eating plan. She suggested more veggies, but told me that otherwise I was doing really well with my diet. And she explained more about post-op (things I already knew). She was much more helpful and compassionate than the surgeon though. She actually suggested I get a 2nd opinion from the other surgeon on staff, mentioning that other people have been told the same thing by the surgeon I saw, then they go see the other surgeon and get scheduled for surgery. That seems so unfair!! I started crying when the surgeon was telling me that I had to lose this weight before she would consider doing surgery, and she said, "Crying won't help you. You should see what I go through in a day, I should be the one crying." What kind of bedside manner is that? Can you just pass a tissue and let a girl cry?? (the answer: no. But the dietitian was nice enough to ask me if I was okay and hand me a tissue) So, I feel rather disappointed right now. I've been doing the diet/exercise thing and trying to prep for this since July, and I feel like I'm nowhere near getting this surgery. I don't know if it's worth the $60 copay, the hour long heavy traffic commute, the parking fees, the gas... to get the 2nd op or just keep going with my diet and schedule a new appointment when I lose 50lbs. This isn't gonna stop me from the diet/exercise plan I've been doing, but I just don't know what to do from here... stay with this dr who upset me? Get a 2nd op? Try to lose 200+ lbs on my own and forget surgery? This visit really has me wondering if this surgery is ever going to be a reality for me. If sustainable weight loss will ever be a reality for me... I hate feeling defeated. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day...

Thank you so much for the support and advice! As I've been thinking about it, I'm glad my mom came with me today just because if she wasn't there, I would have really given this doctor a piece of my mind. My mom's presence still has the power to censor me into submission! I felt like this doctor didn't want to know me, that she was treating me poorly because I was fat. She's sitting there trying to explain to me that I need to give up fast food or just order smaller sizes, after I explained to her that I've been existing on 2 Protein shakes, 2 yogurts, Soup and a cheese stick everyday since f'n AUGUST. She acted like the 12lbs I lost since exactly 31 days ago wasn't a success at all. I'm thinking, "You're a BARIATRIC SURGEON and you're looking at me as some fat @ss who can't keep a Big Mac out of her mouth." THAT is why I was crying. I have read over and over on these boards that people have to lose weight first, that a liquid diet was involved - I expected to hear those things. I'm not some ignorant person going blindly into something I know nothing about. I have worked in insurance, I've worked on the pre-approvals for these exact surgeries FOR YEARS, I know probably TOO MUCH about what's involved and the difference in surgeries and why I want this sleeve. Does that mean I think I'm entitled? No. But I deserve to at least be treated as a human being when I'm in that very office because I WANT to change my circumstance. So yeah, I'm asking for a 2nd opinion. And if I'm made to feel like I did today again, I'll be sending a strongly worded letter to the Chief of Staff of that hospital! I should think someone in the surgeons position should be a bit more sympathetic to the vulnerabilities of a morbidly obese patient!

Thank you both - I agree with you. I told my mom that the drs bedside manner was terrible, and really it makes me appreciate my PCP even more (and I've always loved seeing him because he is so kind)! I'm going to discuss the whole experience with my PCP and see if he agrees to a 2nd opinion. Even if the next surgeon tells me the same thing, I'm leaning towards going to a different doctor simply because this one left such a bad taste in my mouth. I mean, she told me pretty much what I was expecting to hear (you need to lose some weight first), but I didn't expect to walk out of there bawling. Not sure I'd want to deal with her when I'm post-op in the hospital and hurting...... Maybe my PCP will have some sound advice for me. Here's hoping! Thanks for the advice, guys!

I agree with what Aussiegirl said - panniculectomy if you want kids, abdominoplasty if you don't. Panniculectomy is just to remove excess skin. Abdominoplasty removes excess skin and also tightens the abdominal muscles. Panniculectomy is usually covered by insurance. Abdominoplasty is usually NOT covered by insurance. So your insurance saying they will pay for part of it is probably saying they will pay for the fee of a panniculectomy and the extra $ for the abdominoplasty portion is considered cosmetic and would be out of your pocket. Abdominoplasty will give a better cosmetic result, but you can also tighten your own muscles with exercise. If you plan to get pregnant, though, I'd hold off on either surgery. Make sure you're going to be at a stable weight before you go under the knife again... cuz recovery time for either one of those surgeries is 6-8 weeks - would you really want to go through that twice because you had kids after the first surgery? Or pay for it twice, for that matter?

These are normal concerns for any surgery. If you stick to the plan your surgeon sets for you, then you should be successful. Gastric bypass patients (and sleeve patients) can regain weight. Bypass patients still have their full stomach and the pouch can stretch or reconnect with the remaining part of the stomach, which will allow them to eat more and gain weight. Sleeve patients stay more restricted longer, but don't have the dumping side effect like RNY patients do, so it's easier to start eating things that aren't good for you. All the WLS types have their pros/cons. Yes, you will probably be on Vitamin supplements for life. Why? Well, with bypass, it's because your intestines are altered, and the portion of the intestine that absorbs nutrients from your food is removed. This is also the part that absorbs fat and calories, so it creates malabsorption for the purpose of weight loss and it is a permanent change to that part of your anatomy. So even if you identify through bloodwork that you have a deficiency and start taking a Multivitamin (or rx) correct it, your body is still set up NOT to absorb those nutrients, which makes it that much more difficult to stay in control of that post-op. The difference with a sleever is that you're potentially deficient on Vitamins because even if you were on the most perfect, ideal diet plan, you simply can't eat enough of ANYTHING to get enough of those vitamins in your system. But if you find out you're deficient and start taking vitamins, then your body will still be able to absorb those vitamins in your intestines and you can control it more easily. With bypass and with sleeve, eventually the time comes where you can tolerate eating more food. So your vitamin levels can be maintained with diet alone, once you reach a point where you can tolerate a well-balanced diet. But you may still require those vitamins for the long haul. It's not quite as bad as with the bypass, though, as far as the number of vitamins you need - depending on whether or not you are deficient in those vitamins now. Bottom line is that when you choose WLS, you are committing to long term medical care for your obesity. So you'll need regular bloodwork to make sure everything is where it should be, and you'll have to be in control of what you put in your mouth post-op. These surgeries (none of them) are the "easy way out" or the "quick fix". You have to be committed to doing what your surgeon tells you to do, and committed to sticking with the plan. Having 80% of your stomach taken out will dramatically reduce the amount you can eat, and should reduce if not eliminate your hunger/cravings. This journey is what you make of it! I totally understand being scared that it won't work or that you'll regain - I have those same thoughts - however I think the best you can do is take the advice of your surgeon/dietitian and stay in control of what you eat. I'm sure your friend who had the bypass and regained did something to cause it. No one just gains weight for no reason. Maybe your friend doesn't want to disclose what they did to gain the weight - but I sincerely doubt they stuck to their plan 100% and still regained. This journey is only your own - I'm actually glad I don't know anyone who has had WLS, because you could drive yourself crazy doubting yourself when you see someone else's failure. I wish you good luck! Educate yourself as much as you can to make sure this is the option you want to take!

WOW! Great job with the weight loss!!! How did you lose 130lbs in 6 months pre-op?

I had my surgeon visit today. She said I'm too heavy to operate on. I have to lose 50lbs before she'd consider it. And when she delivered this disappointing news and it made me cry, she said, "Crying won't help you. You should see what I go through in a day, I should be the one crying." Yeah, ok, but I thought we were here to talk about ME. So, no surgery date for me.... yet. Still figuring out what to do from here.

Hey! At least you have a date for surgery! I have my 1st surgeon visit on 12/6 so I'm really anxious to see what hoops I have to jump and when I can get scheduled! I haven't discussed a goal weight, but I know I want to be at the 170 mark. Right now, I'm 459. That's 289lbs to lose! I have every confidence that I can do it, though. From where I'm starting, I'd be happy just to be in the 200 range - which is ironic when you see all the people on here who got surgery BECAUSE they were in the 200s. Better to do something about it now before you have 400lbs to lose, is what I'm thinking. Wish I would have looked into surgery sooner! Good luck to all of us! <3

I'm pre-op and have wondered about this, too. I'm not an emotional eater. I eat for the taste. I eat for the feeling of the food in my mouth. IDK, maybe I am an emotional eater? The term "emotional eater" seems misleading anyway - isn't hunger an emotion? Anyway, I read your post and thought, "Ok, seriously, how can this be fixed?" Besides all the obvious boot camp answers that were given (which is sound advice, but maybe not quite what you were looking for), the only thing I came up with was hypnotherapy. Years ago, I lived in a condo complex and my downstairs neighbor was a hypnotherapist. I was so intrigued by this profession, and I asked him why people would get hypnotized. He said, "Oh, for pretty much anything. Stop smoking, eat less, exercise more, stop drinking, stop shopping, stop biting your nails... you name it, I've done it." I asked him if it worked, and his answer was, "It can." He went on to explain that it's all about the power of suggestion. Being hypnotized doesn't erase your mind's natural response, it just substitutes a type of reaction. He said it doesn't always work forever, but you can be hypnotized more than once, and eventually, the habit/feeling/thought you're having won't be the natural response anymore. The more you can identify your triggers, the more you can tell your hypnotherapist what to suggest to you during your session. Now, I get that this could all sound like a lotta ridiculousness. I would normally seek out a more practical solution in a situation like this. But I actually love this idea - maybe my neighbor was hypnotizing me at the time that he was telling me how well hypnotherapy can work. (lol - but now that I made the joke, I wonder if HE WAS!!) I just know that the idea still intrigues me, and it's something that I might look into if I see old habits creeping back up when I'm in post-op land. It's worth at least looking into, and I see no harm in trying it. Anyway, I thought I'd share that idea with you. I hope you find something that works for you - and when you find it, let the rest of us know! Good luck!!!

What is a "flavor packet"? Some of these recipes call for "peach flavor packet" and "Chocolate flavor packet" but I have no idea what that is?

That's awesome! I can see the difference in your face already, you look great!

Congrats on your weight loss!! I hope I can see some results like that! Still pre-op here, but I've read a lot about how your hormones fluctuate while you are losing weight. Some people experience issues with their short term memory, some have a hard time concentrating, and other get depressed. It's totally normal and should hopefully balance itself out when you lose the weight. It's worth discussing with your doctor. A therapist could help with all the stress in your life and the changes going on because of surgery/weight loss, and your MD might put you on a mild anti-depressant. I'd take advantage of both, if you can. But if you can't do counseling or aren't interested, I think a mild anti-depressant for a short term use is your best bet. Meds don't make the problem go away, but it does help with the emotions. In the meantime, try to spend time with people who make you happy. And the boards are here to lend an ear, and you're welcome to PM me if you need someone to talk to. It will get better. It's up to you if you want to wait it out or get help. Good luck, focus on taking care of you right now.

Went to the info seminar today. Thanks to my endless research (and all the good info on this and other sites), I learned exactly NOTHING at the seminar except, of course, how to get to the hospital. Which is a good thing to know, right?? I should get a call in a week or two to schedule an appointment with the surgeon. I'm pretty excited to see what happens next! This whole process has helped me stress less about knowing what would happen next. Whatever happens, happens. And I'm okay with that. I did also get my starting weight while I was there. It was a number I was not looking forward to seeing... but at least now I know! Today's weight: 459. Eek. And I've actually been exercising for a few months, I wonder what it was to start off with! Stepping on that scale wasn't as awful as I thought it would be, I'm really just glad to have an actual starting number. Yay! (?) My worry now is that my high weight will cause the surgeon to say I should have RNY and not the sleeve. I really don't want to do that! Can any higher BMI patients tell me what their experience was re: what surgery to have? I'm tall, so I guess that helps (not much). I'm 5'10.5", my BMI is 64.9. (Oy vey! I think it was better not knowing my weight) I would like to be around 170 just so I can be in the "normal BMI" range - but that would mean I need to lose 289lbs. There are people who weigh 289lbs that need surgery!! There's like two extra average weight people inside of me! Whaaaaaat??? Ok, mini freak out over. Bring on the motivation, if you have any to spare. I just need reassurance that this battle is winable!

Thank you! This is so inspiring. I really appreciate all the support, guys!! I have already implemented a lot of healthy changes, so I'm eager to see how much I lose when I see the surgeon on 12/6. Looks like surgery won't be until the beginning of the year (which is what I originally thought, but I had some hopeful wishes that it would be sooner!)... and I can't wait to hear what the surgeon says when I meet her. I want to know what she needs me to do to get this show on the road. So far, I've been tracking my diet on MFP daily, staying under my target calories by quite a bit. I drink 2 Protein shakes a day, have greek yogurt for breakfast and lunch and then a sensible, low cal dinner. Snacks, if I need them, are almonds or beef Jerky... but I have cut out quite a lot of carbs. I can already see a difference in the way my clothes fit me, and it gives me incentive to keep going. And I've been working out 2-3 days a week, and I've been steadily increasing my workouts as I've been seeing results there, too. I know I have a long way ahead of me, but I just see it as an opportunity to just embrace this as a complete lifestyle change. My path to goal is a long one, and even if my goal still puts my in the overweight category, I'm okay with that. I just want to be healthier and get off my bp meds, and get off the path to being diabetic or having high cholesterol that I've been on for so long. I'm lucky to only have one co-morbidity, and I'm willing to do what it takes so that I don't have any more!! I'll keep everyone updated once I talk to the surgeon. Thanks again for all the encouragement!

There are so many factors to consider, it's hard to say. Your insurance may impose a diet, anywhere from 3-6 months long, but some insurance companies have dropped this requirement. Then it depends on the surgeon you go to and what they want - some want you to lose a certain percentage of body weight before scheduling a surgery date, and that will depend on how long it takes you to do it. Other surgeons don't care that you lose weight and just want you on a pre-op diet. I'm still pre-op as well, and I started the process in July. I got a referral to a surgeon in October and I've gone to the hospital's seminar, now I'm just waiting to get a call to schedule an appointment. But I have no idea what will happen from there. It's been very hard for me to stay patient, because I'm not typically a very patient person. But I've embraced that I want to make a whole lifestyle change, so I'm taking this time to start working out regularly and changing my diet by cutting a lot of carbs. Spend this time wisely to educate yourself about what post-op life is like, because that's for the rest of your life. The surgery will come when it comes, but when it does, you'll do best to be ready! Good luck to you!

So I was carpooling with my BFF this morning. She is the only friend who I have told that I'm in the process of getting this surgery. She and my parents are the only people I've discussed this with. She's overweight as well, though not as heavy as I am, she's still quite heavy. I don't really talk to her about it much, but she asked me how my seminar went on Monday. So I tell her how it was, how I already knew the things they were discussing, that I was anxious to see the MD, etc. When I'm done, she says, "I just don't think I could do that." I ask her why not? And she responds "I just couldn't give up fooooodddd," with such passion, as if she was talking about the love of her life. Now, she's a girl who loves to eat. I get that. But hearing her say that out loud, the way she did... it felt like I had just been snapped out of a trance. That was me. That was me when I was her age (she's 7 years younger than I am), saying the exact thing. And it strengthened my resolve to say I don't want to be a person like that anymore. I've already changed so much in the past few months in preparation. Saying no to things I would have never refused before. Working out. Tuning into my actual hunger... and it just made me a little sad for my friend. To be so thrown by the idea of having to be on a liquid to solid staged diet, and I explained that part only lasts about 8-12 weeks out of your ENTIRE LIFE. It's not the end of the dang world! Part of this is due to her own naivety about surgery in general, and the differences between them. I'm sure she has no idea what kind of surgery I want (although I've told her). So, I told her in my most patient voice, "Well, hey, I know where you're coming from, and I hope that you don't get to a point where you have to do something like this. But if you get to be my age and feel like an old lady too soon, you might change your mind about how important that food is to you." Now, I worried she might take that a little harshly. But I figure it's better than me saying what I WANTED to say, which was "Well, I know where you're coming from, but when the time comes that I'm the smaller one, you might change your mind about how important that food is to you." Does anyone else worry about how their friends and family will react to the "new you"? I suppose a side effect of losing weight is how it can potentially alter your relationships. I'd love to hear some other perspectives on this...

THANK YOU - for all of that.

I wish you success as well! In the past 24 hours, I've adjusted to the actual starting weight, and realistically, I was in the ballpark on what I thought I weighed anyway, so I just had to let the shock of actually KNOWING sink in. Just want to make sure I weigh less than that when I see the surgeon again. I'm in this for the long haul, too, I look forward to seeing us both progress! Good luck to you!! I'm glad you're friends aren't experiencing that side effect. But it's a pretty significant number of patients who do, and it's a chance I don't want to take. And also, the nutritional deficiencies I had mentioned. The sleeve is more of a normal life once you're in maintenance. I know the difference between the surgeries. I just don't want RNY. or the band.

I already started a savings account to get plastics! I realize that to get to goal, I'll probably require some skin removal, and I'll just deal with it when I get to that final stretch. (no pun intended) and I never, ever get tired of hearing how cute I am. Thanks!!

Great analogy, proudgrammy! And I agree. Especially since your NUT and MD are communicating with each other - your MD is deferring to the NUTs opinion on her area of expertise (which would be nutrition). I would say your MD probably should have advised you to discuss the topic with your NUT instead of giving you a misguided answer... can I guess that your MD is a MAN? lol - am I right?? Good luck getting it straightened out, though. If this particular conflict of info is really bothering you, I'd bring it up when you talk to your NUT so they can maybe elaborate on the answer your MD gave or just clearly advise that you should be doing something other than what the MD said.

I think it should be targeted to young people. I know when I was 23, I considered it but thought "I don't have any other health issues, I don't need it." and here I am, 9 years later, 150ish lbs heavier, and now have HTN as well. If I had a time machine, I'd go back and have it done when I thought about it way back then! If just one person would have suggested that being heavy was reason enough to take control and have surgery, I would have looked into it. But back then, even my overweight mom threw shade on me because she didn't think I needed to do anything that 'extreme'. Mom's on my side now, tho. Someone at my seminar said they were there because they saw a commercial for surgery on TV. I haven't seen any, but I thought that was a bit odd... I guess breaking the social stigma is a good thing, though. We shouldn't be ashamed if we're getting help for our problems!