makemyownluck

I agree with prior posts questioning why you would have this surgery at 30 BMI. Seems quite extreme. But, to each their own. There are people here who have struggled with major weight issues for their whole life, and have lots of medical complications as a result, and are seeking surgery to improve their health and extend their life. In my opinion (which, I realize you didn't ask for it, but oh well), this is strictly about vanity. I just don't understand why you'd do this to yourself considering your current weight. I know this won't deter you, but this is an open forum, and that's my two cents. Luck for you, they'll take anyone's money in Mexico...

CAN you have it? Yes. SHOULD you have it? No. RESIST!

Oh, that's a tricky one... plenty of people have discussed on here how this surgery affects their relationship with their bf/gfs or spouses. I can't imagine it will be easy, especially when you've both gotten comfortable with bad habits. You should start making changes now so it;s not such a shock when surgery comes around... do you have a surgery date yet? I have a girlfriend who has a similar relationship with her bf. They live together and both don't like to cook much. They eat out probably 5 nights a week - and they eat bar food at that. Pizzas, subs, fried foods... she's gained probably 50lbs in the 2 yrs she's been with him... and he stays skinny. It's not my place to tell her to stop eating like that (esp since she's still way thinner than I am - but even at my WORST I didn't eat as poorly as those two do!), but I always have the urge to tell her to slow it down! But I have my own bad habits to work on, so I TRY to keep my opinions to myself!

thank you everyone for your responses... I don't know what to do yet, but it definitely helps to hear how other people deal with it. I'm also a private person. I've already started spilling some Beans because my coworkers have noticed that I'm taking more half days (so I can make my MD appointments), and they're curious. I am not a good liar, and I don't enjoy lying, so my creative responses are vague and so far it's kept people out of my business. I think I'm going to just say "I'm having surgery" and leave it at that. If they ask more questions, I'll just tell them I'm not comfortable discussing my medical issues and leave it at that. It's the truth, and it doesn't force me to talk about things I don't want to discuss. IF ONLY it was as simple as telling people MYOB!!

How much extra are you paying? If you don't mind my asking...

Well, I have completed all my pre-op testing, finally. I didn't have to do a lot of stuff that other people have mentioned they had to do... I'm hoping that doesn't present a problem when I submit to the insurance to approve the surgery. But if the surgeon doesn't think it's necessary, it shouldn't be a problem, right? :\ All I needed was blood work, an EKG and physical with my PCP, and an upper GI. Easy peasy. Anyway, I go back to the surgeon on Friday to go over the test results and I'll get scheduled for surgery as well. They explained that I'll get scheduled for about 3 weeks from then and we'll submit to the insurance to get the approval before surgery (hopefully). I'm hoping this will go smoothly, but if I've learned anything in the last 9 months it's that NOTHING GOES SMOOTHLY where this surgery is concerned!! Wish me luck, hopefully the next time I post, I'll FINALLY have a surgery date!

well, I haven't been sleeved yet, so I'm just speaking from my experience from gall bladder surgery, combined with what I've read here. GB surgery isn't that different from what this surgery will be, except for the huge staple line in our stomachs. You can move around, you're just very tender in the abdominal area, and you use your abs for just about every movement you make. I would get this "pulling" pain (no other way to describe it) if I laid down in bed. I had to be nearly sitting all the way up to be comfortable enough to sleep. And walking was okay, but after about 5-10 minutes, I'd get an ache and have to take a break. A simple trip to the grocery store for a few items would wear me completely out. Don't expect to be incapacitated. You can do most stuff, but reaching up for things and bending over will be very painful for a few weeks. Don't push yourself beyond what feels doable. Your body will let you know when it's time to slowww downnn. Having the GB surgery was painful, but it wasn't terrible. After about 5 days, I was fine. I was back to work 9 days after surgery. (office job) Knowing what to expect isn't scaring me off from doing this! The post op pain is temporary, I'm more nervous about all the other changes that will come once the surgery is done... losing weight, having clothes that fit, knowing what/when to eat, staying healthy, getting enough exercise... this is what concerns me. Surgery is only the beginning!

Just to clarify -- I'm not suggesting that a surgeon asking you to lose weight is a bad thing. The surgeon I saw first was just particularly rude, and it seemed that asking me to lose 50lbs was excessive. If you go on a liquid diet, you'll lose weight. Even if you go on a partial liquid diet with shakes as Meal Replacements twice a day, you'll lose weight. As long as your surgeon isn't setting an unrealistic goal (50 lbs was excessive, IMO), then there's no reason you shouldn't try. Besides, the more you lose pre-op, the closer you are to goal!

Good luck to you, Diva1!! Alexian is a great hospital, I'm sure they will take great care of you. I'm hoping for a speedy (and favorable) reply from BCBS - for you and me both!!

Sounds like you'll have challenges no matter where you go! How often would you have to go up and down the stairs? I mean, moving isn't impossible, just uncomfortable. You'll have to walk around anyway post op, but stairs could be a challenge, for sure. It's not like you'll be completely immobile, though. Does your cousin go to school? Would it be terribly inconvenient to go to your aunt's during the day and go home at night? I can totally relate to wanting to be at home, though. My parents house is very comfortable, very quiet, in the country and very big. My dogs are even welcome to come with me. But I know me, and I'll just want to be in my own home!! So I only plan to stay with them for 2-3 days tops after being discharged from the hospital. I'll have to make arrangements for laundry, because my laundry area in the basement has really steep stairs, and I won't be able to lug the baskets up and down... I'll have to make arrangements for someone to come help with groceries and stuff too... but just think, it's only a few weeks, then we'll be back to ourselves!

I had a surgeon tell me she wouldn't even consider operating unless I lost 50 lbs first. I immediately found a new surgeon. And this one sees no reason to make me do that (I told him about the previous surgeon). It never hurts to get a 2nd opinion.

I plan to stay with my parents for a few days, then when I'm comfortable, I'll come home. But I live alone, so my reasons aren't the same as yours. I'd advise to stay where you'll be taken care of the best. The last think you'll want is to give yourself a hernia because it "will suck not to be with him at night". I had laparoscopic surgery to have my gall bladder removed a few years ago, and I couldn't even lay down in my bed for about 3 weeks, so most likely, you'll be on the couch or in a chair by yourself anyway. I lived with my bf at that time, too, and lemme tell you, being in pain after surgery made me really cranky, and we argued all the time. That was really the last thing that I needed when I was all hurty from surgery... You are doing this for you - not your bf. I'd hope you could both stand to look at the bigger picture and not worry about sleeping separately for a few days if it means you're being taken care of properly....... can't he come visit you at your aunt's house anyway?

I'm so glad you said this because I was getting myself all worried about this 2 yrs of medical records business!! haha, I had H.M.O last year and found out they required an 18 MONTH supervised diet, so I switched at the beginning of the year when open enrollment came around. The PPO doesn't require any diet, but you had me scared that you knew something I didn't know! Diva1 - In rereading, I'm not sure I answered your question... if you're wondering about approval time-wise, from start to finish, you're looking at a few months - depending on how quickly you can get the psych eval, the NUT visit and surgeon consult scheduled, plus you'll need to see your PCP for a physical. Then once you see the surgeon, they will likely order more pre-op testing which could be lengthy, depending on your medical history. Once you get all that done, tho, BCBS will give a response within 30 days - usually much less - and then you can schedule your surgery. Patience is a virtue I really don't have, so the best advice I can offer is to stay on top of all your providers, call frequently for cancellations if they tell you it's gonna take a while to get an appointment, etc. You can definitely hurry this along by being involved and following up with everything. Diva, where are you located? Do you know where you want to have your surgery? There are only certain providers that BCBS will approve to do bariatric surgery - if you need help with that, let me know!

Well, hopefully you can get the scope ASAP so there's no delay for your surgery - the surgeon needs clear idea of what he'll encounter during surgery, so the testing is more to prepare him, not to decide whether or not you can proceed with surgery. Good luck, I hope you get good news!!

I have BCBS PPO. Here's a link to the current medical policy: http://medicalpolicy.hcsc.net/medicalpolicy/home?ctype=POLICY&cat=Surgery&path=/templatedata/medpolicies/POLICY/data/SURGERY/SUR716.003_2012-02-01#hlink And here's the criteria, direct from the medical policy: PATIENT SELECTION CRITERIA FOR COVERAGE For a member to be considered eligible for benefit coverage of bariatric surgery to treat morbid obesity, the member must meet the following two criteria: 1. Diagnosis of morbid obesity, defined as a: Body mass index (BMI) equal to or greater than 40 kg/meter² (* see guidelines below for BMI calculation); OR BMI equal to or greater than 35kg/meters² with at least two (2) of the following comorbid conditions related to obesity that have not responded to maximum medical management and that are generally expected to be reversed or improved by bariatric treatment: Hypertension, OR Dyslipidemia, OR Diabetes mellitus, OR Coronary heart disease, OR sleep apnea, OR Osteoarthritis; AND 2. Documentation from the requesting surgical program that: Growth is completed (generally, growth is considered completed by 18 years of age); AND Documentation from the surgeon attesting that the patient has been educated in and understands the post-operative regimen, which should include ALL of the following components: Nutrition program, which may include a very low calorie diet or a recognized commercial diet-based weight loss program; AND Behavior modification or behavioral health interventions; AND Counseling and instruction on exercise and increased physical activity; AND Ongoing support for lifestyle changes to make and maintain appropriate choices that will reduce health risk factors and improve overall health; AND Patient has completed an evaluation by a licensed professional counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist within the 12 months preceding the request for surgery. This evaluation should document: The absence of significant psychopathology that would hinder the ability of an individual to understand the procedure and comply with medical/surgical recommendations, AND The absence of any psychological comorbidity that could contribute to weight mismanagement or a diagnosed eating disorder, AND The patient’s willingness to comply with preoperative and postoperative treatment plans. Hope that helps!

No worries on the paper. I only got a copy because I'm sure paranoid and wanted to deliver it to my PCP myself... I didn't have to take any tests either, just talked to the doc. All programs are a lil different, so dont sweat it.

You look great!! I have several shirts that could maybe be tailored into dresses once I drop the weight, I hadn't thought of doing that til I saw your pic. Great idea!

Very good message, and lots will benefit from hearing/reading it. Myself included!! I have always been heavy and have never felt beautiful. The supposed compliment of "you have such a pretty face" has never made me feel great about myself, it feels more like an insult. And I hear it a lot, and I agree that I have a lovely face, but it seems in our society having a nice face doesn't mean much. So many allegedly beautiful women only have rockin bodies - no one seems to notice or care if they have an ugly face. So, I'm kinda hoping to fit into societies standards of beauty a bit more, but that's not really my goal for having surgery, either. I'm not expecting this surgery to make me beautiful, just healthier. Anything else that comes with that will just be a bonus.

Let us know how it goes!!

I don't see my family often throughout the year at all, and am really looking forward to having something like this happen to me. I'm hoping for surgery in May and I probably won't see many of my family members til Thanksgiving time. Plenty of time to take off a bunch-a-chunk! Congrats on all you've done so far. nothing like a boatload of compliments from people who really love you to keep you on track!!

what a great problem to have, huh? can't help on the clothes, but I can say you look great in your profile pic. Congrats on the weight loss!!

I wanna hear these suggestions too, cuz I hope to have surgery very soon and am worried most about preop liquid diet and how to avoid eating my arm off. GOOD LUCK with your surgery. :)

the only thing better than a good BM, is a good BM at work. nothing like getting paid for that! hahaha

Good luck! Mine was also smooth sailing. I was sure they'd lock me up and shrink my head, but I passed! I made a copy of the letter and told my PCP "Yeah, I kept a copy of this letter saying I have no psychiatric conditions, in case my family and friends ever question me on it." We had a good laugh. GOOD LUCK! :)

you look incredible!! great idea using the same outfit before and after. love it!