makemyownluck

I was just telling my friend that I mentioned in the earlier post that I was approved for surgery. She was telling me she's excited and can't wait to see me skinny. I told her, "Well, yeah, I'll be skinny, but it's not gonna be pretty. Picture a skinny person who is melting into a puddle." I literally wanted to grab the words out of my mouth as I was saying them. Where is all this negativity coming from inside of me? I feel like I'm trying to prepare people for the WORST instead of embracing this as THE BEST thing I could be doing for myself. Gonna try to work on that. Attitude is everything and mine could use an adjustment!

My surgeon's request was received by my insurance on Tuesday. Because patience is something I have very little of, I called them yesterday to check status. Still in review, they said. I called again today and I've been approved!! Two day turn around time is WAYYY better than I expected to get! So, I'm scheduled for surgery May 2nd. I'm going to call the surgeon's office tomorrow and see if there's ANY possibility we can go sooner (doubt it, but I'll never know til I ask!). I started this whole process in July 2012. I'm so thankful that after all the struggles I went through, I'm finally getting the results I want. I'm just so eager to start this new chapter in my life. I'm so excited, I could cry!

I feel that way. All the time. I even asked my friend, who's also obese, "Will you still be my friend when I'm skinny?" She looked at me like I was nuts. Honestly, I'm really not looking forward to the attention. I wish there was the magic wand that we could just wake up tomorrow skinny, and that we were ALWAYS skinny, so no one even notices a difference. Very curious to see how this will play out, for sure!

Walking supposedly helps with gas pain. Or you can try Gas-X strips. I'm pre-op myself, so I'm really just sharing what I've read around these boards. Hope it helps!

don't get a wrist monitor, they don't work! If you're close to your PCP, you can probably swing by and ask them to check it for you, too. My PCP does that, no appointment needed. Don't take it tomorrow and see if you can get a reading and if you're normal, check with your surgeon or PCP about stopping them completely. I'm REALLY hoping to come of my bp meds asap!! Also - your bp med - does it have hctz in it? If you're not getting your fluids in, you might also be getting dehydrated if you're using a diuretic. Good luck!!

These are things I wanted to know when I went: How long will I be in the hospital? What is discharge time? Do I need someone at the hospital in order to be discharged? When do I stop taking my meds prior to surgery? (I'm on bp meds) How long before I can go back to work? Where will my incisions be? What are my physical limitations after surgery? When can I resume exercise? What kind of exercise can I do? What tests do I need to have done? I can't think of anything else at the moment. Basically, ask every dang question you can think of - and write the questions you want answered down, cuz you WILL forget them, otherwise. Good luck to you!!

IF ONLY my lack of patience was related only to this... I'm impatient with everything!! I actually plan to learn transcendental meditation this year. It's on my resolution list, right behind "Get this dang surgery done already!!"

She obviously doesn't get where you coming from, but I can kinda see her as trying to be your ally... I mean, you were having a conversation about something she had also done, but for different reasons. Keep in mind that people rarely see themselves the way others see them. Like you said, you look at yourself in the mirror and think "not bad", then look at those pictures of yourself and say OOF. Well, she may not see a beautiful person when she looks in the mirror. She sees herself gain 4 pant sizes and she feels fat/unattractive/sad, whatever. I mean, we'd be sad if we gained 4 pant sizes, so the fact that she went from size 2 to 6 shouldn't mean she's not entitled to feel like she needs to do something about it. But I get it. We, as big people, know that she's not being looked at as or treated like a fat person is treated. She doesn't understand where you're coming from completely because the world doesn't treat her the way big people are treated. But that doesn't mean she doesn't struggle with it internally or that you both couldn't learn something from each other. I can totally understand where you're coming from feeling hurt by it. But I think you should try just a little not to let your emotions get the better of you. I think from her perspective, you come off looking selfish. I'm not saying you ARE, I'm just saying that might be how she's feeling. Like she shared something with you and you snapped at her. After all, she's not trying to get in shape to make you mad - she's trying to improve herself just like you are. I think if you can get this little bump straightened out, she might actually be a good friend to have as she can help you with exercising more... Anyway, you definitely need to be careful when you share the news of surgery. I'd rather keep it a secret that risk someone saying something that would piss me off - cuz I'd probably react just as you did. I'm only good at seeing both sides when I'm not on one!!

Congrats to you, too!! I hope you can get a surgery date soon!

BCBS got my surgeon's request on Tuesday. I called them yesterday to check status - it was still being reviewed. I called them today - AND IT'S APPROVED!! They said the letter would probably be sent out tomorrow because the note was just added today saying it was "medically necessary". When I went to my final surgeon consult, I was scheduled that day. I'm going to call them tomorrow and see if there's ANY chance it could be done sooner (doubt it), but I'm definitely a GO for surgery on May 2nd. I'm so happy I could cry!! Good luck to all of you to get a quick and POSITIVE response from them!

Great progress!!! You look fantastic, I bet you feel pretty fantastic, too!! Keep up the hard work, it's paying off!

Yeah, I'd be pretty mad if my MD sent over private health info to my employer. There's laws against that kind of stuff!! Good luck getting your schedule worked out! Congrats on getting the date set!

Keep up the good work!!

The surgeon said I HAD to have someone to take me home. He said they absolutely will not release me to take a cab.

Well, after all this hoop jumping, I'm finally scheduled for May 2nd surgery. It's all tentative pending the insurance approval, of course. I should be jumping for joy, right? Unfortunately, no. My support system through this whole process has been my parents. I've been counting on my mom to help take care of me the first few days home. Well, Friday when we were at the surgeons office, the fight of the century started... The doctor answered our questions then advised that one of his assistants would be back in shortly with my surgery date. As soon as he left the room, my mom tells me that if it's the last week of the month, we have to ask them to push it back because she has work-related things to do at the end of every month. She works for the housing authority and end of the month is their check run, so it can NOT be postponed. I told her that I didn't want to push it back, and that I didn't want to start an argument about it when we didn't even know the date they would give me yet. She persisted, telling me that I just can't do it if it's the last week of the month. Again, I told her to stop, wait to see what day they actually give me. So, to my relief, they come in and say that the end of April is pretty booked, so they gave me May 2nd. I was kinda hoping to have it sooner, but it works out in the long run, so whatever. Well, today Mom calls me after work. She says that she's been thinking about my surgery date and that if it ends up getting postponed because of insurance reasons, that I need them to schedule it for mid-May because the 2nd week of May she has 2 training sessions for work that she has to travel for. I told her again that I have no interest in postponing this because of her work schedule, and this is where that ticking time bomb EXPLODED. My mom went into this whole speech about how I'm completely selfish. That putting it off a few weeks wasn't going to kill me. I tried reminding her again that she's arguing about something that we don't even know is going to happen (i.e. my surgery date being pushed back). I also told her that I really resented her putting it back on me that I'M the selfish one, when she's asking me to postpone this surgery over and over because of things SHE has to do. I've been jumping through every imaginable hoop to get this surgery scheduled since July of last year and she can't seem to understand that I DON'T WANT TO WAIT ANYMORE. I don't care what I might miss at my OWN JOB while I'm out for surgery, much less do I care what she might miss at work. I just don't. And if that makes me selfish, then I'm totally okay with being selfish. After all, this surgery IS FOR ME. Not her. Not anyone else. FOR ME. I even told her that I didn't mind that she had work related stuff to do. If she really had to go, then she should go. Dad can come with me. "Do you really think he wants to do that by himself?" she asked. "You expect me to concentrate on my training while you're under the knife?" "What if something happens to you and I'm 3 hours away and can't leave because I'm there with coworkers and have no way back to town?" "I'm supposed to ignore the fact that you're having surgery? What if you die?" She actually asked me that. "What if you die and I'm that far from home?" I said, well, gee, Ma, I'll try my best not to DIE, okay? I offered that my dad could take me and/or pick me up from the hospital. She said, "Yeah, Saint Roger isn't going to say no to you..." as if I'm supposed to feel guilty because my dad would do anything for me? Unlike her??? Things got pretty heated in our conversation, and in fact she hung up on me twice throughout it. We're both pretty well versed at getting under each other's skin. Finally, I just told her "Thanks for giving me a month to figure out a Plan B, at least." So then she calls me about a half hour later saying, "So are you going with a plan B even if your surgery date is still May 2nd?" And I told her that I guess I don't have a choice! She's going out of town 5 days after my surgery, so how the heck am I supposed to count on her to take care of me if she's out of town??? She's not considering my needs AT ALL and then turns around and calls ME the selfish one!! I am literally sick to my stomach over the stress of this. I've been crying for hours since this argument took place and it's not even so much because of the argument (sadly, I'm used to it - the whole thing reminded me of high school years all over again) - it's because I DON'T HAVE A PLAN B. I don't have anyone else in my life that I can ask to take care of me. And the way my mom has been acting honestly makes me cringe at the idea of how she's gonna be when I am post-op and hurting. So if I rely on Dad to be Plan B, that means she's gonna be around (when she isn't tied up with work). Can I even rely on her to be helpful post-op? Or is she just going to be a thorn in my side? At this point, I just don't even know what to do. I'm writing this more as a rant, not really expecting anyone to have advice for how to deal with some craziness like this... just had to vent it out. I'm gonna go see if I can dig up some Xanax to help me sleep tonight. I'm wound pretty tight at the moment... I hate Mondays.

I'm sorry I wasn't clear! Let me try to explain... When I say Obamacare, what I mean really are the new insurance rules, not really a specific plan. Once the new rules go into effect, private insurers won't be allowed to decline anyone coverage. They won't be able to exclude coverage for ongoing medical conditions (meaning, you can't have a rider to your contract saying they won't pay for anything related to, say, a joint replacement you've had, for example) and they won't be allowed to set pre-existing condition limitations on the plans. Also, there will be minimum required coverage - for example, preventative care, check ups, mammograms, pap tests, etc. So, what I mean is that RIGHT NOW - most people with recent WLS won't qualify for insurance with MAJOR carriers. Are there companies that will cover you? Sure, but they have limited benefits, lower payment cut offs, higher deductibles and smaller participating provider networks. However, the rules change starting January 1st, which means they will start opening enrollment for the new plans in October. That will be the prime time to apply for coverage - these companies will all want as many subscribers as they can get. As the consumer, you won't have a lot of the hassles that many people experience when applying for private insurance now. I'm an underwriter for individual plans, so I'm the person behind the scenes who is making you do phone interviews, submit medical records, get a current check-up, etc. I totally understand how infuriatingly frustrating getting private coverage can be. The new rules will help an enormous amount of people, and I'm really glad to see the changes!! I hope that helps. If you have any other questions, I'll try my best to answer them! :)

Thanks for the rational thinking, everyone. It's really hard to put things in perspective when you're in the midst of an argument, so I do appreciate you all for both seeing where I'm coming from and offering practical advice for the situation. Now that I've slept on it, I realize we are both super anxious about what is happening. I'll do what I have to do to make sure my mom can be there for the surgery and hope that insurance doesn't force me to push it back. I've never been a patient person - I'm impatient to a FAULT most times, and this is a prime example. Does putting it back a week or two make a big difference? No, not really. I'm just, as usual, eager to do it as quickly as possible. I mean, if I've been going through these steps since July, a few more weeks isn't that big of a deal... (that's me rationalizing this to MYSELF, lol) I'm going to call my insurance and make sure they have they got my request from the surgeon. So at least I can have some peace of mind that we're moving forward in some way. Then I'll call my mom and apologize for being a monster and hope she can do the same (I wasn't the only one yelling, after all). I also realized that my surgery is on a Thursday and my surgeon said I'd probably be in for 2 nights. So that means I'll get discharged on a Saturday. So, if for some reason I can't get a ride from my parents, finding a friend who can pick me up shouldn't be as difficult as I was imagining. It's also good to know that I won't really need the help once I'm discharged. I'd really rather be at home anyway, so maybe I can reassure my mom that I won't be totally helpless if she has other things to do. I do understand that she has a life of her own and she needs to go on these trips in May so she'll know how to do her job. I don't fault her for that. And I don't want her to think she's failing me because she can't be at my bedside 24/7, especially when I don't really NEED her to be there. While it's convenient to have help, I will be able to do it on my own. Thanks so much for the feedback, guys. I appreciate it!

Thanks mokee. I've been most nervous about being alone and having some sort of accident. I didn't want to really spend more than a few nights at their house anyway (I much prefer my own home), I'm really most concerned with the ride home. The hospital specifically told me they will NOT release me without someone to take me home. Can't go home in a cab - must have someone present to escort me home. And since discharge is in late morning/early afternoon, everyone I know will be at work. Just trying to think who I should ask, is all... disappointed that I'm having such drama with my mom when I'm finally getting close to what she knows I've been working for since last year. :/ But I'll figure it out. I always do!

Melissa, you think I went to the trouble of responding that in depth to give misinformation? Furthermore, you think she needs advice from a stranger to do her own research? Take your advice, but not that from someone who actually knows something about it, huh? Great advice. Sheesh. With that attitude, why would you even join a community like this? Sweetcurves, if you need any other info, feel free to inbox me.

Well, that was incredibly helpful, Melissa. I live alone. I'm in my 30s. What this has to do with my post, I'm not sure. I'm not postponing my plans. I know I'll be able to walk and stuff. I was just counting on the help. And now I don't have it. It's frustrating and taxing to go through the stress with my mom. I know I'm selfish. If I don't put me first, who else will?

I'm gonna assume you're in the US... Most Blue Cross plans will decline you for any WLS in the last 3 years. After that, they may cover you, but you'll have to pay more money. Aetna will decline you for 5 years. Cigna is the most lenient, but I think even they decline for surgery within 2 years. I work for a third party vendor, as an underwriter, so I'm quite familiar with what they look for. You have to be a certain number of years our from surgery (as stated above), have a physical with blood work within 6-12 months and they will want to see a recent CBC and b-12 level. You will also have to be stable at your weight for at least a year. And your current BMI can't be over 32 (sometimes less, varies by carrier). A lot of these plans will max rate you for this history, so if you have any other medical issues or medications that you use, that could put you over the edge to be a decline. For example, if your surgery was just outside the "decline" period and your current BMI would require a rating also, you'd be declined. If you're still treating co-morbid conditions, you would be declined... Also, if you were ever a diabetic on insulin, they will never cover you. Even on oral meds, diabetics are rarely eligible for insurance coverage. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer about it, but you asked! Truth of the matter is, insurance companies want to insure healthy people. Plain and simple, as an underwriter, my job is to reject high risk applicants, and WLS patients are considered high risk... especially since most WLS are either lap band (which require frequent visits for adjustments) or RNY (which those patients have Vitamin deficiencies and such years after surgery). They group all WLS together, so they really don't consider that sleeve patients don't have the same ongoing care issues that lap band patients and RNY patients do. It's not fair, by any means, I'm just telling you how the insurance companies see it. However, starting in October, you can apply for the Obamacare plans, and they can't decline you. If I were you, I'd start with Cigna (if it's available in your state), I find they are the most lenient. The best advice I can give is to elect the COBRA coverage. It's expensive, yes, but you won't have to worry about being covered. It's only 6 months until you can apply for the Obamacare plans, and they are guarantee issue policies. Good luck to you!

sorry!! It worked for me also, but I'm on a PC/laptop, not a tab/ipad. I'm glad you figured it out anyway.

definitely if you're in the US, you're covered by FMLA. You have 12 weeks per year that you can use for medical related absences. Talk to HR about it. You don't have to disclose what you are taking time off for, you just have to get your surgeon to fill out the paperwork and your job is protected by federal law. good luck!

http://nhlbisupport.com/bmi/ that's the site I use. We use it at work too. It's the National Health Institute site. My BMI started at 60 and is now in the 50s... don't sweat it. You're on track to bring it down, and that's what matters!