A New New Dawn

I think how you are feeling since he has left speaks to whether you were being selfish or not. You have felt happier and a sense of relief. Certainly, if the marriage was repairable I would suggest getting counseling; however, it sounds like he wasn't interested in trying to repair it. Congrats to you for staying strong. People can grow apart and life is too short to spend it unhappy or even worse, miseable.I was married years ago and it was very toxic after time went on. It was scary being on my own initially but such a sense of relief to not be weighed down. An unhealthy relationship can be very draining and wear on your soul. It is better to be alone than continue living that way. Best wishes to you!

Also, drink lots of liquids.

Yay, you broke the 150 mark. Congratulations, you must feel great! You are also a great motivator and inspiration to the rest of us. Happy dance ~ is right!!!

Hang in there! Like Dennis said, it will get better. You did not make a mistake though it may feel like it now. This will pass and your journey will begin. If the migraine is too bad, perhaps they can give you a shot to help ease it.

I really like the idea of journaling what you are feeling, etc. and what you are eating in the moment. I think that could be very beneficial to getting to the root of what is behind it. I sometimes have to take eating hour by hour, minute by minute as the "big picture" (of changing eating habits and how much weight I need to lose) can be overwhelming, daunting and seem unachievable. So, as you mentioned, sometimes the easier alternative is the unhealthy, self-destructive behavior. For me, I feel food was my coping mechanism for "not coping" with things in my everyday life that got me down. I feel I keep people at an arm's length sometimes as it is easier to have that "barrier" than to be let down or hurt yet again by someone close to me. It becomes a vicious cycle. Food always felt good (in the moment) whereas some personal relationships did not. There was that brief "euphoria" while I induldged and then the guilt and disgust with myself and appearance follows. I really have never had the strength to do this on my own and the lap band has really helped me. Beginning to lose weight is empowering and motivating. For me, it really comes back to hour by hour or day by day. Also, planning my meals (at least mentally) helps me tremendously as I already know what I am going to eat and don't leave it to chance. Lastly, when I have been in that moment of almost breaking down to food, I have distracted myself by going for a walk. Do you have anything you do for fun or entertainment? If not, I think it would be good to have some "lighter" and fun activities (park district class, exercise class, book club, etc.) something to help balance the heavier things you are doing with counseling, support groups, etc. This, too, has helped me get myself balanced. Lastly, can you avoid having those trigger foods in your house? If I have those foods accessible, I too, will eat them. I keep them out of the house and when I have that weak moment it isn't there to tempt me. I think it is awesome that you had the courage to reach out on this very personal topic. Not only does it benefit you but several others from reading it.

I would suggest you get some counseling as well. If you are eating until you are miserable, chances are you are not going to follow the "rules" intended for the band until that is under control. It sounds like you may have some emotional challenges that could benefit from getting some counseling. You owe it to you and your band to be successful.

Prayers and good wishes for Maddy!

First, congrats!!!! Second, be sure to follow all the pre and post op directions from your doctor. Enjoy the journey!!!!

I know it is an awkward subject but getting through something beats modesty with all the changes our bodies are enduring.

I understand tmi but I had that happen while at work and know what you mean. I ended up waddling around work after spending 20 min in the bathroom. Finally after walking around it helped with that particular moment. However, to prevent it going forward, definitely up the liquids it made all the difference.

Up your liquids.. I was having a major (ugh) issue. I make a point to get in the 6-8 glasses of water and it has helped tremendously.

Oh my goodness! Hang in there Linda!!! Make sure you get to the dr. or ER today!!! Unfortunately, we have to learn some things the hard way and this is one of those moments. May you get relief soon.

As long as you have done the research and understand what you are signing up for, your age shouldn't matter. Yes, you are young... which means A) you will recover quickly you won't be like many of us wishing we did this sooner. Good luck on your journey!!!

I applaud you for following your own path and not letting her influence your decision. I, too, have to agree she is no sort of best friend. It really does sound like she is jealous of you and you may be more her equal (in her eyes) by losing the weight. She sounds very controlling and demeaning in her comments. You need support, not lashing out at you. You are a grown woman who can make her own decisions and do not need to justify it to anyone! The "friendship" (if you can call it that) is very toxic. I do agree with one of the other ladies above that if this friendship is something you feel is that important to you, that you could have a talk with her (very blunt and direct) that this topic is off limits and you are not seeking her approval or opinions. However, I would really question having this person in your life at all. By the way, how is improving your quality and quantity of life (by having the band) not thinking of your family??? This journey is challenging enough. You do not need to subject yourself to a toxic relationship. You have taken control of your physical health, now it's time to take control of your emotional health. Best of luck to you! Be strong!!! No friend or best friend should act that way or say those hurtful things and still be in the "friend zone" in my opinion. My best friend was a little apprehensive about me having the surgery (she doesn't have weight struggles) but she worked with someone who had the band and gained back the weight. When I made my decision, she said I love you no matter what size you are and will support you in anything you do. She then congratulated me when it was approved and offered to come with me for the surgery. I hope you are able to either rid yourself of this toxicity or turn it around. Big hugs!!!

Ok, silly (but not) question.... I know when you are in the infamous "green zone" that you should be able to go 4-5 hours between meals. However, what I am not really clear on is how it feels during a meal when you reach your green zone? Did you notice a difference as you ate or during mealtime that felt "different" than when you weren't in that zone? I had my 2nd fill on Tuesday (up to 4 cc in a 10cc band). I have noticed a major difference after this fill as I can get liquids down but have to eat V-E-R-Y slow and carefully or agony strikes. I am not sure if I may still be swollen since it was only 2 days ago or if this is what the green zone is like or if I may be too tight..... I can get liquids down fine but almost afraid to eat anything of substance or density. Your insight would be most appreciated.

Definitely nip this in the butt before weight creeps back up on you. If you are able to get other foods down, it does sound like you are either too tight or you are not eating small enough pieces and chewing the heck out of them (as you eluded to). My dietician and doctor say to chew everything 25 times. By eating softer foods you are not getting the proper Protein and not utilizing the band as it was intended. Soft foods will not keep you satiated for the 3-4 hours as solid protein will. My dietician told me no more soft foods or I will be hungry all the time. Really try to chew, chew, chew, chew ... oh and CHEW your food. They also recommended using an olive fork or pickle fork as I shouldn't be eating more than what would fit on one of those little things in one bite. Good luck to you and to getting back on track.

Your positive attitude will get you and your family everywhere. So sorry about your challenges and struggles. I can imagine it is a very difficult time. I applaud your courage and strength! You go girl!!

Good luck to you Linda for relief to come soon.

Congrats to you! Every victory helps motivate!! Keep up the great work.

Congrats to you! You look amazing!!! You must feel great too. Since you seem to be working out too, have you been able to stay toned or do you have any issues with loose skin? Thanks for sharing. It is inspirational.

Soup Enjoy your outing.

My sister-in-law (a non-banded person) was having similar issues and her doctor thought it may be celiacs but now is having her go dairy free to see if that helps things. Perhaps logging your food every day and notice what you have the day of or day before these bouts (if you haven't already). Also, as Mis 73 said, have you been checked for Crohns? That can have similar symptoms. Good luck.

Good luck to you and best wishes. Even though you feel "knocked down", you are such a fighter and will get past this hurdle. I hope the 2nd opinion brings positive news. Hugs to you!

For me, corn tortillas (50 cal ea) or if I toast the bread that seems to work. I am actually glad that bread doesn't go down well as it is a huge weakness for me.