RachelC

I think it's time to set some goals for myself. I've been thinking about what they would be and how much weight I need to lose a lot lately (duh). I think the hardest part is coming up with realistic rewards for myself.
 
First Goal: 25 pounds
Reward: Mani/Pedi
Progress: Achieved! Mani/Pedi scheduled for today!
 
Second Goal: 50 pounds
Reward: Spa Day! Massage, Facial, Mani and Pedi
Progress: 25 pounds to go!
 
Third Goal: 75 pounds
Reward: NEW CLOTHES!
Progress: 50 pounds to go!
 
Fourth Goal: 100 pounds
Reward: Vacation! Kidless. Just the hubs and I. Mexico?
Progress: 75 pounds to go!
 
Fifth Goal: 125 pounds
Reward: Bikini
Progress: 100 pounds to go!
 
ULTIMATE GOAL: 150 POUNDS
Reward: Whatever the hell I want! haha
Progress: 125 pounds to go!

Never thought I'd say this but I'M BANDED!
 
I went in on 10/11/12 and everything went great. Surgery took about an hour and doc said it was completely text book. My nurses were wonderful. Absolutely amazing. I am so lucky to have had such an amazing team to take care of me. Doc gave me clearance to go home same day but I decided to stay overnight because I needed the rest (and pain meds). Now I'm just resting and taking advantage of the hubby and kids taking care of me. They've been really great and helpful. I am so lucky.
 
So here are my stats.... figure I may as well start keeping track, huh?
 
Starting Weight: 313
Surgery Date (after pre-op diet): 300
4 days Post-Op: 293
 
I'd say that is some good progress! Of course, right now I am not focused on weight loss, I am more focused on healing. But I won't complain about any weight loss during the healing process! Not to mention I can barely eat anything.
 
I feel pretty good overall right now. The main thing that I've been struggling with is the gas pains. Oh, the gas pains. My chest and shoulders are so tight and the only relief is burping, which is far and few between. Walking seems to be the only thing to help, so I'm doing as much of that as possible. I'm pretty hungry but I think it is less tummy hungry and more craving hungry. Sitting in front of the TV watching Red Robin advertisements is def not helping! LOL
 
I am just glad that it's over and now the real journey begins. Here is a pic of me the day after surgery!
 

Just scheduled my surgery - it is official now - I'm getting banded! My surgery date is scheduled for 10/11/12 (hmmm, something feels lucky about that date) and I'm really excited. I start my pre-op diet tomorrow and I'm anxious with anticipation.... more so just wondering how I'm going to manage a liquid diet for 15 days! I know I can do it, just have to think of the bigger picture.
 
I have to get my bloodwork, EKG and chest x-ray done before surgery. I was told by the hospital admissions department that I will get a call sometime next week with further instructions on when to complete that. Then it is sit and wait until 10/11, which is right around the corner. Ahhh!
 
I plan on taking a before shot of myself tomorrow, and then once a month going forward to track my progress. I am dreading that but I think it's important.
 
Eeek!

It's funny because you read all about Bandster Hell when you're a newbie and think about how awful it sounds, but never really think it will happen to you because well, you are hopeful.
 
I am three weeks post-op today and I think I can officially say I am in Bandster Hell.
 
I'm definitely hungry and I'm definitely eating. Not as much as pre-surgery obviously, but I'm sure if I wanted to push the boundaries, I could. I have been getting by the last two weeks with sheer willpower. It's been tough, but I've been somehow managing to control myself. That is something I've frankly never been able to do before. I thank god for the 25 pounds from my pre-surg and post-surg diet because it has given me something to hold on to. I think about those 25 pounds, and how impossible it felt for me to even lose a pound prior to surgery, and that is what holds me back.
 
So, with that being said, I think I'm doing pretty good. I am officially eating whatever I want to eat which is kind of cool but kind of scary. I had some Talapia for lunch today and it went down just fine. It's kind of exciting to be able to eat normal foods again and not mush. I'm exercising as much as I can (walking) and it feels good. I'm making progress!
 
Starting Weight: 313
Surgery Date (after pre-op diet): 300
4 days Post-Op: 293
3 weeks Post-Op: 283
 
I'm down a total of 30 pounds since I first embarked on this journey and I am really proud of myself! There is no better feeling!!!!! I think I can take a couple more weeks of Bandster Hell if I keep it up.

I think it's time to set some goals for myself. I've been thinking about what they would be and how much weight I need to lose a lot lately (duh). I think the hardest part is coming up with realistic rewards for myself.
 
First Goal: 25 pounds
Reward: Mani/Pedi
Progress: Achieved! Mani/Pedi scheduled for today!
 
Second Goal: 50 pounds
Reward: Spa Day! Massage, Facial, Mani and Pedi
Progress: 25 pounds to go!
 
Third Goal: 75 pounds
Reward: NEW CLOTHES!
Progress: 50 pounds to go!
 
Fourth Goal: 100 pounds
Reward: Vacation! Kidless. Just the hubs and I. Mexico?
Progress: 75 pounds to go!
 
Fifth Goal: 125 pounds
Reward: Bikini
Progress: 100 pounds to go!
 
ULTIMATE GOAL: 150 POUNDS
Reward: Whatever the hell I want! haha
Progress: 125 pounds to go!

I had my surgical consultation yesterday and it went swimmingly. Dr. Rantis was a lot cooler then I expected. Reading his reviews online led me to believe that a) he is a terrific surgeon and he lacks bedside manner. I thought his bedside manner was fine, and he seemed to think I was quite hilarious so that gives him a check mark in my book
 
We discussed my health history and asked me if I had any issues. I said, "No, I'm pretty healthy. Just fat." he said, "I like you, you're funny." Maybe I opened him up a little more because I tend to have a blunt, no holds barred type of attitude. Who knows.
 
After having my body composition analysis done, I studied the little print out in disgust. 310 pounds even. That is not the woman I see when I look in the mirror. I don't feel like a 310 pounds person. I don't like myself right now, and I can't wait to change that. I can't wait to see the number on the scale go down and down and down. I don't know how I've allowed myself to get to this point. I'm embarassed and disgusted and just plain sad. The doc asked me what my goal weight was and I told him at this point, my goal is to break the 200 pound barrier. I remember when I weighed about 225, thinking the same thing, I just want to get below 200. How silly was I! What I would give to only have to work off 25 pounds. Now I need to focus on working off over 100. Sick.
 
Now, I wait. I have to get a pyschological evaluation and personality test done, and I need to attend a pre-surgery nutrition class for bariatric patients. I have scheduled both already, pysch eval on 8/16 and nutrition class on 8/23. I guess I will find out after that what my next steps are. I plan on taking some before photos this week to track my progress. Really not looking forward to that but I will do it for the sake of the cause.

I feel like for the first time in years, I am actually taking the necessary steps to better my life! I can't wait to start losing weight and feeling good about myself again - both physically and mentally. The past couple of years have been such a downward spiral for me, I have gained SO much weight, my attitude has totally changed. I used to see myself in such a different light. I liked who I was and I was comfortable in my own skin, even being overweight. Now, I look in the mirror and I see a disgusting, fat pig who is lazy, unproductive, depressed and eating her life away. I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT PERSON ANYMORE. I refuse to be that person ever again. I have made an official vow to myself and my family that I will do everything in my power to get healthy again, from the inside out.
 
I sit here thinking about how much time I've let pass where I could have been actively trying to lose weight. All the diets that I quit, all the times I said "I'll start tomorrow" or "I'll just cheat this one time." For me, it all comes down to willpower. I always say I don't have any, but guess what? Starting today, I have all the willpower in the world! I will never say I don't have the willpower to get healthy. Because that is like saying I don't have the will to live. And I do! I want to see my kids grow up, I want to be a positive role model to them and to others who are embarking on this same journey. I want to be the person who said "IF I CAN DO IT, ANYONE CAN!"
 
I am very excited for my surgical consultation with Dr. Rantis on 8/2. Excited and nervous. What if I can't get my insurance to take care of it? What if Dr. Rantis doesn't feel I'm a good candidate? What if, what if, what if. I know it's counter productive and totally useless to worry about these things as they are not in my control. I guess I need to get better at learning to let go and let God.
 
I am going to keep trying to stay positive, through the good and bad. Attitude is half the battle. And for this moment, nothing is going to get in my way on my journey to losing weight and getting healthy.

I had my surgical consultation yesterday and it went swimmingly. Dr. Rantis was a lot cooler then I expected. Reading his reviews online led me to believe that a) he is a terrific surgeon and he lacks bedside manner. I thought his bedside manner was fine, and he seemed to think I was quite hilarious so that gives him a check mark in my book
 
We discussed my health history and asked me if I had any issues. I said, "No, I'm pretty healthy. Just fat." he said, "I like you, you're funny." Maybe I opened him up a little more because I tend to have a blunt, no holds barred type of attitude. Who knows.
 
After having my body composition analysis done, I studied the little print out in disgust. 310 pounds even. That is not the woman I see when I look in the mirror. I don't feel like a 310 pounds person. I don't like myself right now, and I can't wait to change that. I can't wait to see the number on the scale go down and down and down. I don't know how I've allowed myself to get to this point. I'm embarassed and disgusted and just plain sad. The doc asked me what my goal weight was and I told him at this point, my goal is to break the 200 pound barrier. I remember when I weighed about 225, thinking the same thing, I just want to get below 200. How silly was I! What I would give to only have to work off 25 pounds. Now I need to focus on working off over 100. Sick.
 
Now, I wait. I have to get a pyschological evaluation and personality test done, and I need to attend a pre-surgery nutrition class for bariatric patients. I have scheduled both already, pysch eval on 8/16 and nutrition class on 8/23. I guess I will find out after that what my next steps are. I plan on taking some before photos this week to track my progress. Really not looking forward to that but I will do it for the sake of the cause.