RachelC

I had my surgical consultation yesterday and it went swimmingly. Dr. Rantis was a lot cooler then I expected. Reading his reviews online led me to believe that a) he is a terrific surgeon and he lacks bedside manner. I thought his bedside manner was fine, and he seemed to think I was quite hilarious so that gives him a check mark in my book We discussed my health history and asked me if I had any issues. I said, "No, I'm pretty healthy. Just fat." he said, "I like you, you're funny." Maybe I opened him up a little more because I tend to have a blunt, no holds barred type of attitude. Who knows. After having my body composition analysis done, I studied the little print out in disgust. 310 pounds even. That is not the woman I see when I look in the mirror. I don't feel like a 310 pounds person. I don't like myself right now, and I can't wait to change that. I can't wait to see the number on the scale go down and down and down. I don't know how I've allowed myself to get to this point. I'm embarassed and disgusted and just plain sad. The doc asked me what my goal weight was and I told him at this point, my goal is to break the 200 pound barrier. I remember when I weighed about 225, thinking the same thing, I just want to get below 200. How silly was I! What I would give to only have to work off 25 pounds. Now I need to focus on working off over 100. Sick. Now, I wait. I have to get a pyschological evaluation and personality test done, and I need to attend a pre-surgery nutrition class for bariatric patients. I have scheduled both already, pysch eval on 8/16 and nutrition class on 8/23. I guess I will find out after that what my next steps are. I plan on taking some before photos this week to track my progress. Really not looking forward to that but I will do it for the sake of the cause.

I feel like for the first time in years, I am actually taking the necessary steps to better my life! I can't wait to start losing weight and feeling good about myself again - both physically and mentally. The past couple of years have been such a downward spiral for me, I have gained SO much weight, my attitude has totally changed. I used to see myself in such a different light. I liked who I was and I was comfortable in my own skin, even being overweight. Now, I look in the mirror and I see a disgusting, fat pig who is lazy, unproductive, depressed and eating her life away. I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT PERSON ANYMORE. I refuse to be that person ever again. I have made an official vow to myself and my family that I will do everything in my power to get healthy again, from the inside out. I sit here thinking about how much time I've let pass where I could have been actively trying to lose weight. All the diets that I quit, all the times I said "I'll start tomorrow" or "I'll just cheat this one time." For me, it all comes down to willpower. I always say I don't have any, but guess what? Starting today, I have all the willpower in the world! I will never say I don't have the willpower to get healthy. Because that is like saying I don't have the will to live. And I do! I want to see my kids grow up, I want to be a positive role model to them and to others who are embarking on this same journey. I want to be the person who said "IF I CAN DO IT, ANYONE CAN!" I am very excited for my surgical consultation with Dr. Rantis on 8/2. Excited and nervous. What if I can't get my insurance to take care of it? What if Dr. Rantis doesn't feel I'm a good candidate? What if, what if, what if. I know it's counter productive and totally useless to worry about these things as they are not in my control. I guess I need to get better at learning to let go and let God. I am going to keep trying to stay positive, through the good and bad. Attitude is half the battle. And for this moment, nothing is going to get in my way on my journey to losing weight and getting healthy.

NWGirl... I am/was the same way. I guess when I look in the mirror, I don't see a 295 pound person. I remember when I weighed a bit less (talking like 230's) I would tell people I was close to how much I weighed and they'd say, "Wow! You carry your weight well!" so I thought I looked good for my size. I do still think the way I'm built allows me to conceal my weight better then some, but seriously, I don't look good. At all. I look fat. No matter what angle the picture is taken at, I am obese. It is so hard, even now, to admit to myself that I am considered morbidly obese. I think it all comes down to being totally ashamed of the way I look and what I've let happen over the years.

Hi everyone! I'm Rachel, I'm 29 years old and I am looking forward to my first surgical consult visit on 8/2. I'm so excited and nervous and anxious and basically, you name the emotion and I'm feeling it. I have struggled with my weight forever... diet after diet, workout after workout, three kids and 300 pounds later, here I am. I was getting to a point where I felt totally and completely helpless over my weight. I would step on the scale and think... when did this happen? How did I let myself get here? I don't want to believe that those numbers represent who I am and how people see me. It is truly depressing and I don't want to live like that anymore! I am so blessed to have a supportive husband who has loved me unconditionally even when I didn't love myself, three beautiful children who I would do anything for, and extended family and friends who want me to be successful in my journey. I am so ready to start over, LIVE my life, ENJOY my children, and most importantly, be around to watch them grow up! I am really excited to have found this forum and connect with others who are on the same journey!

Eek! Sliming and Productive Burping?!?! A small price to pay but yikes!

Congratulations! How exciting for you! New job, new body, new life!!!

Welcome and good luck on your weight loss journey! I just found these forums and have been reading, reading, reading! There is a wealth of knowledge here.

Congratulations on a successful surgery and your first five pounds! Looking forward to hearing more about your journey!

Wow, 12 weeks of classes?! That is bananas! I hope that you are all able to get through the process quickly! Good luck!

Hi Christina! Good luck with your journey. I'm just starting out as well, attended the seminar two weeks ago. May I ask how come you are expected to lose 10% of your body weight before surgery? Is this an insurance requirement?

I am just starting off on my weight loss journey and would love to have a buddy that has experience with this whole process. I'm 29 years old and live in Lake Zurich (NW suburbs of Chicago). I don't have a scheduled surgery date yet, as I'm just going in for my first consult on 8/2. I have so much anxiety over the insurance process and getting approved, and of course, the surgery itself.

And Missy, GOOD LUCK with your surgery! You will do great!!!!!

Thank you both so much! That gives me hope that maybe I will get approved easily too I tend to think the worst with these sorts of things which I know I need to work on - haha. I will definitely keep everyone posted on my results once I found out!

Congratulations!!! What a relief. I'm excited for you!

I am a very private person to begin with, and I do not plan on telling people about my surgery. Right now, the only people who know are my husband and children, my mom and dad, and my best friend. I have already been contemplating what I'm going to tell my boss and co-workers as to why I need the time off. I was thinking gallblader surgery, but hernia works too I guess when I start dropping weight and people start asking questions, I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I'll probably just say I've been watching what I eat and excercising.... it is true, after all

Damn right you are I feel the same way! I can't wait to wear a thong and hang from the chandeliers (ha ha ha). Not really, but you know what I mean! My daughter told me the other day that she can't imagine what I would look like skinny. I thought about it for a minute and realized I couldn't either. I don't think I've ever been "skinny" and I don't think I ever will be, but I can't wait to be healthy and be able to shop at normal stores and wear a bathing suit in public!

I know exactly how you feel! It has gotten so bad for me that I won't even allow people to take my picture. My dreaded moments are when I see someone tagged me in something on Facebook. I immediately go and untag myself. It is no way to live, constantly being ashamed of the way I look! My appearance has taken control of my life in the worst way possible. I find myself declining plans and secluding myself from people because I feel like I'm constantly being judged. I just want to be able to look at a picture of myself and think, wow, I look great and I was happy. Not wow, I look disgusting, fat and unhealthy, and boy was I depressed! Anyway... you are not alone! I can't wait to be excited to have my picture taken again We will get there!!!

My fears are based around insurance not approving the surgery. I know I'm a candidate but I've heard so many insurance horror stories that it scares me. I have no co-morbid conditions so I feel like they will deny me based on that, even though my BMI is over 40. I keep reading and re-reading Anthem's Bariatric Surgery policy, as if something will change. It is quite stressful. I am trying to talk myself into not obsessing over it, it's totally out of my control at this point and I will just have to wait it out. My surgical consult is 8/2, and my insurance already verified that it is covered. Now we just need to get through the approval process. Feels like forever! Good luck to you! Try and stay positive, I know it's easier said then done, but your attitude can make or break you!

I haven't had surgery yet but I'm so curious about the port! At the seminar I attended, they had a previous patient who was banded and she was walking around letting people feel her port. I didn't get the chance to, but I was a little surprised that you can actually feel it through your skin. Is it visible?

Glad to hear the surgery was a success and you are feeling good! I am looking forward to hearing about your journey and weight loss!