gigi4

I haven't been feeling very well for about two weeks. The pain has been on my left side, under my rib cage, almost center. The pain was also in my back around my kidney area. The pain would come in waves and cause me to curl up wishing for it to be over. Now, for the record, I am not a wimp. I don't cry over pain. But last night, I cried like a big fat sissy. The pain got to the point that I ended up in the ER.
 
Now, I should have known this wasn't going to be a good night when EVERYONE at the hospital I told about my sleeve responded with the question "was the by-pass or the lap-band." Even the doctor had no idea what I was talking about. Then, to make matters worse, the doctor never once touched my stomach. He shot me up with pain meds...which I didn't mind at all considering how much pain I was in...and then sent me for a CT scan and an ultrasound.
 
Needless to say, in 30mins they tell me I'm constipated. WHAT? I just paid that amount of money to find out I'm full of crap? When i asked about the pain the doctor responded, "well, that's where the poop is." WHAT??? Are you kidding me?
 
Now, for the record, I drink all day long. Not the good, get you feeling all warm inside, make a fool out of yourself drinking...just normal crystal lite. How can I be backed up? Is fiber really THAT important? I will be honest, with the little I eat, I don't' know how I could ever get any fiber in me. My husband and I even thought about if I ate anything that would cause this. Actually, I ate really well. A lot of crab and shrimp, egg, and even a protein shakes. To be honest, I thought I was eating better than I have been in five months.
 
Needless to say, they discharge me with a bottle of fizzy stuff that is supposed to loosen it all up. WHAT PART OF I HAVE A SLEEVE DO YOU NOT GET???? (what I wanted to yell at the medically trained idiot. Instead, I put the bottle in my purse, came home, got my fiber mixture out and my stool softener and took them. So far, nothing exciting has happened. Hopefully by tomorrow it will all work it's way out. Then, if I am still in pain, I will know it's way more than crap. But for now, it's official...I'm truly full of sh#$!!!

So this all started about a year or so ago, its been about 5-6 years since my last serious attempt to lose weight has happened, in that time I regained all that I lost and then some. I have psoriatic arthritis, chronic fatigue, and fibromyalgia which haven't helped all this just made it harder to lose the weight. Three days of walking every morning leaves me so tired that i sleep on and off all day the fourth day. this frustrates me. so after back and forth (in my head), i finally work up the courage to talk to my husband who agrees. to come to a seminar with Dr K. super nervous and of course almost back out. lo and behold. it's amazing, and while aprehensive, i make my first appointment with Dr K and get the scoop, so i opt for the 3 month track and the month of May whirls by and i try not to talk myself into eating everything in my path and justify it by stating (again in my head) in three months I'lL never again be able to eat that, and manage to lose 1 lb. so June rolls around 2nd visit which in insurance land is 1st visit and i get my psych, and NUT visit. NUT goes well, but I have been doning. Home work and already have been researching post dos and donts. My psych tho. Yikes talked myself into a panic attack, it was awesome. But made it through. Then 3rd (2nd per ye ole ins) and yay diet pills however the up side, really helped my fatique. And bonus lost 10 lbs. so now up to my 4th (3rd via ins) visit tomorrow and will. find out if all my stuff can be sent to insurance to get a surgery date.....more to come on the slow train.

So this all started about a year or so ago, its been about 5-6 years since my last serious attempt to lose weight has happened, in that time I regained all that I lost and then some. I have psoriatic arthritis, chronic fatigue, and fibromyalgia which haven't helped all this just made it harder to lose the weight. Three days of walking every morning leaves me so tired that i sleep on and off all day the fourth day. this frustrates me. so after back and forth (in my head), i finally work up the courage to talk to my husband who agrees. to come to a seminar with Dr K. super nervous and of course almost back out. lo and behold. it's amazing, and while aprehensive, i make my first appointment with Dr K and get the scoop, so i opt for the 3 month track and the month of May whirls by and i try not to talk myself into eating everything in my path and justify it by stating (again in my head) in three months I'lL never again be able to eat that, and manage to lose 1 lb. so June rolls around 2nd visit which in insurance land is 1st visit and i get my psych, and NUT visit. NUT goes well, but I have been doning. Home work and already have been researching post dos and donts. My psych tho. Yikes talked myself into a panic attack, it was awesome. But made it through. Then 3rd (2nd per ye ole ins) and yay diet pills however the up side, really helped my fatique. And bonus lost 10 lbs. so now up to my 4th (3rd via ins) visit tomorrow and will. find out if all my stuff can be sent to insurance to get a surgery date.....more to come on the slow train.

When I started my WLS journey, I never expected to be a blogger. If you would have told me three months ago that I would be typing out my weight loss funny moments....and some not so funny moments, I would have told you that I thought you had lost your mind. Well, I would have been wrong. The other day I checked to see how many visits I have had and I was shocked to see that in only three months, you all have read my blog 10,000 times. DANG.....that's a lot of reading. Thank you so much for the support, and I hope I can continue to make you laugh and smile throughout our journeys together. I finally understand why Sally Fields said, "You like me. You really like me." It wasn't ego....it was pure shock.
 
Ok, now that I got done with all the sappy stuff. Stay tuned as I plan to write about my exploits from the past few days. I will explain that getting drunk isn't anything like it used to be....and I still have the ability to fall for no reason. Can't wait to write about my 20th H.S. reunion and let you all know how great it felt to be around the same size I was in H.S. So many stories....so little time. Stay tuned.

So I'm so excited to say that after almost 2 weeks of stalling....my weigt finally started going down again!!!...I just want to say thank you to the ones who gave me some helpful advise and helped me keep my head on straight when I was feeling like a mess...I am so very thankful for this website and all the helpful blogs and all the people who take the time to extend helpful words when things aren't going exactly like you thought they would...It's nice to be able to talk to people who are going through the exact same things as I am!!!!

Hello! Last week I completed my requisite pre operative psych consult and nutrition consult. I'm waiting for the reports to be sent over to my surgeon's office so they can contact me for my appointment with the surgeon. I'm very excited for this and have already been making changes to my regular "routines" to hopefully facilitate a smaller adjustment period after surgery. Any advice or info anyone has is appreciated as I can read all of the articles and journals that exist but nothing compares to real life stories of people who have already had this surgery!

So I've hit the 6 week mark on the diet and here I am not following through on my own plans. I've lost a bit of weight but for whatever reason, this weekend I've gone off the rails again. This is always where it happens. The weight stalls and I get sick of looking at my body fiddling around w/ the same 3 pounds for a few weeks. Skipped lunch. Didn't wait for dinner had a cup of oberweiss chocolate milk (its a regional thing, they come in the old glass bottles, hormone free, all the good stuff....) and ate half a pb&j (i made strawberry jam this weekend). I know I'm being ridiculous. I think this is the part where I once again realize I need this surgery to stop being famished. I also need to get myself back on track. ok...i think it's safe to turn off my vent now.

For a couple weeks after deciding that I wanted to get the sleeve, I couldn't control my eating. I ate so much! It was ridiculous! I think a lot of it was "last supper syndrome," and also doubt. In the back of my mind, I was hoping for an effortless quick fix. When I read more and learned that I would still have to put in hard work, I think that bothered me also.
 
I'm finally at peace with the fact that the surgery won't solve all of my problems without effort. I'm now ready and willing to do everything I have to, especially in the first 6 months, to ensure success. I'm also going to meet with a counselor to help me work through the problems that cause me to overeat. I'm not sure which route will be best-- a hypnotherapist or a traditional psychologist?
 
Now that I'm 2 weeks pre-op, I suddenly am a lot more focused, calm, and able to control my eating. Don't get me wrong. I didn't do it on my own. Yesterday, which was my first day of change, I literally had to pray every few hours just to keep my mind in check. When the "food addiction" thing takes over, no amount of pills or anything can stop me. Prayer is the only thing that works when I'm that out of control. And even then, it's a huge struggle. I can't say with 100% certainty that I'll make it through today without indulging in junk. In the past I've been so sure and then failed. But I will do the best that I can.
 
Last night I thought about my goals as far as weight loss, and I feel so much better now that my path has been set. Yesterday, I weighed in at 188 pounds. My first mini goal is to get to 145 pounds. That would but me at a BMI of 27.3-- still overweight, but I look good at that weight. Everything I lose after that will be like a bonus. My ultimate goal, however, is 125 pounds.

I went to the gym today and was on the sit down bike for an hour without realizing it. I was playing Trade Nations and Words with Friends on my iphone the whole time so the time must have whizzed on by. I don't own a scale at home so only weigh myself at the gym like once a week so I don't get discouraged. It said 260!! I don't remember the last time I was that weight, had to have been in junior high when I wore a size 16.
 
Thus far, I've lost like 40 lbs since the surgery and pre-op liquid diet. My biggest weight was 400 lbs right out of college so I joined Weight Watchers. $90 short later, I was still 400 but was addicted to their ice cream sandwiches. I slowly started losing the weight over the years by ceasing all fast food and soda so finally reached 300 but could not lose another pound. I was at my high school weight now so figured it was OK and maintained that weight somehow.
 
Things all changed when I turned 29 and my mom died of cancer at only 52. It was so hard visiting her at Parkland hospital in Dallas. She was always 100 lbs + heavier than I but she loss 200 lbs as she lay there with a tube down her throat. I was hoping things would get better for her but her body lost the fight. I kept having images in my head of myself in her place but there was no family visiting me. I've never had a boyfriend and have only been on one date in college in my life. My weight had always been the excuse for why I couldn't have a love life like everyone else seemed to have. I was only 29 but felt my knees hurt when I walked, had sleep apnea, hypothyroidism and high blood pressure. Things were only going to get worse for me in the years to come. Right then and there I knew I had to do something, but what?
 
A few days after my mom's death I found myself at work trying to hide my tears. I had started the job only last year so didn't want to ask for some time off. A lady named Felicia that I had been well-acquainted with came by and was looking so much slimmer. It turned out that she had had bariatric sleeve surgery back in December but bought some clothes that fit her. I had never heard about sleeve surgery but was going to get the band back when I was 24. My dad's insurance would not cover it since I was going to be 25 and off the plan the following year. Felicia told me all about the sleeve surgery and even told me her doctor's name, Wade Barker M.D. He was in our insurance's network so would be covered! I immediately searched for him and found his website, then submitted a form.
 
A few hours later, a nice receptionist at his office called me and I made an appointment for the following Thursday for a consultation. I knew that I had made the right step towards taking control of my life instead of let my food addiction dig me an early grave.
 
Now I am almost 1 month post-op and have lost 40 lbs. When I walk I no longer feel pain, sleep better and hope my high blood pressure will be gone when I go back for the monthly follow up appointment in January. I know now that I am on the fast track to wellness and have my whole life ahead of me. The future is finally clear with the food craving and addiction completely gone. My new addiction has been cable TV but I'm trying to force myself to be more productive with my time. (:
 
Lots of love,
Becky

It amazes me how much my body has changed in only five weeks. Rolls are smaller, my side boobs are almost gone, and my stomach is semi flat (though still big). My legs are changing and shaping and my boobs are shrinking to the smallest they have been since college....when I used to think they were very large. If I have changed this much is such a short time, I can't even imagine what I will look like in a year. The idea of being around 150 pounds is still unreal to me. I know it's my goal and I am doing everything I need to in order to make my goal, but it still seems crazy to me to think I could ever bee that thin. I wasn't even that thin in high school.
 
Yesterday I took the plunge and tried on my bathing suit. I knew when I bought it two years ago that it was too small for me, but I didn't care. I shoved every inch of fat into it and enjoyed myself on the beach or in the pool. That won't be the case this year. First, it went right on with no wiggle-wiggle. You girls know what I mean. The moving your body and the garment in an attempt to get it up and over your ___________(fill in the blank). Nope, this time it slid right up. It fit perfectly and I looked good in it. Not model good, but good. I will no longer have to pretend that I feel comfortable at the beach, because now I will be. I was so excited that I came running out of the bedroom to tell my husband only to find him passed out on the couch taking a nap. So, I decided to jump into the car and drive the mile to my parent's home and show my new body to my mother. I was smart enough to throw some clothes on before running out the door. I think it would be a little strange to see a woman driving in her bathing suit this early in the summer. I do live near a beach, so it's not as uncommon as you may think. I literately walked into the house, said hello and stripped down to my bathing suit. Lucky for me my mother is very understanding and didn't demand me to stop stripping in her kitchen. Instead, she looked me up and down and told me how wonderful I look. Yea, I look wonderful in a bathing suit. LOL
 
Then to make my weekend even better, I tried on a pair of Old Navy sweats I bought prior to my surgery. They couldn't get over my but when I bought them but now, they fit just perfectly. I am really liking this weight loss thing that comes from getting a sleeve. I wish someone would have told me this would have been a side affect. I would have done it a long time ago. LOL Just kidding. The only side affect I didn't really know about was how good I would really feel and not just because the clothes fit. It's more just feeling better all around. Knowing I did something for me that is making me healthier every day. Now, if weight loss is a part of that, I'll take it. I will also take feeling good in a bathing suit (both kinds) because, that's something I haven't felt .... well, ever.