Izuri

It's been interesting looking back over my entries on this blog along with the journal that I keep intermittently on my computer. I think that it's chronicled not only the weight loss side of my journey, but a portion on my journey through my mental illness in relationship to my weight.
 
I started seeing a therapist last week. I probably should have sooner, and for anyone who has any kind of mental health disorder and is thinking about/having/had the surgery and even some of those who don't have a mental health disorder, it is something I would definitely recommend.
 
I have struggled with my mental health since I was a teenager and it has huge ties to my weight, so it's definitely relevant for me to have new issues as well as old issues cropping up as I continue to lose weight. It's funny because before surgery I reminded myself a number of times that weight loss was not a catch all for solving many of the problems that I have. Weight loss is just that - a loss of weight to increase my health.
 
I am now at 233 (lowest I have seen is 232) and still losing steadily, although much slower than before. Some days I feel like my entire life has changed, others I feel like I'm still left standing in the same place. Half of the time I cannot see the weight loss in the mirror. I can see it in the pictures, I hear it from the people around me, but there's this mental disconnect between that and the person I see in the mirror. I fit into smaller pants and my measurements shrink, but my waist still looks the same size (though one side of my stomach is bigger than the other, apparently I have some scar tissue or something holding my left side at a little bit larger around the stomach). I think this is one of my biggest struggles in regards to motivation.
 
So now that I'm approximately five months out, I'd like to take a minute for myself to outline what I think are the good and the bad that I've experienced from this surgery and from my journey over the past five months.
 
Good:
- Moving down from size 28 tight pants to size 22 slightly tight pants
- Hearing my coworker tell me today that I look like half of the person I used to be and that I now have a baby face
- Being told by my boyfriend that from the back waist up I look like I was never heavy to begin with, supposedly I now have a thin frame
- Having my mom notice that you can see my cheek bones
- Not being out of breath when trying to keep up with my classmates
- Having my smaller scrubs be too big and baggy
- Having my boyfriend be able to wrap his arms almost all the way around me (like almost back to himself)
- Having a boyfriend who is amazing (Yes, I attribute meeting him to the confidence I gained after surgery)
- Being able to walk up flights of stairs without being winded
- Being able to shave my legs without feeling like I'm doing some weird acrobatics
- Every time I realize something new fits
- Being able to sit next to someone on a bus and not feel like they are crossing their fingers I don't sit next to them
- Having a ton of extra length on my seatbelt
- Realizing I have collar bones and bones in my shoulders
- Being able to see the bones/tendons in my hands
- Having my rings fit every finger
- Feeling like people look at me instead of through me
- Not feeling like the largest person in every room
- Hitting the high end of projected weight loss by my doctor and still continuing to lose
- Not seeing a 3 on the beginning number of the scale
- Having lost something like 20% body fat according to my scale
- Not having to clear my plate out of anxiety at social settings
- Being cold at night instead of sweating my butt off (I prefer blankets to fans)
- Not feeling like the first thing people see is my weight
- Feeling comfortable enough in my body to have sex with the lights on and no covers
- Being able to reach my toes without doing weird bending manuvers
- Being able to paint my toenails
- The relief of not being at imminent risk of diabetes at 25
- Being able to fit in the bathroom stall and not always having to seek out the handicapped one
- The periods of increased confidence
- Feeling like I am moving on in my life
 
Bad:
- Hormonal imbalances - increases in mood swings, neediness, clingyness, irritability
- Saggy skin
- Lack of motivation to: Work out, take vitamins, get in protein - I struggle daily to fight my noncompliance
- Fatigue (Probably related in part to intermittent compliance with vitamins and protein)
- Anxiety related to the possibility of ever gaining the weight back
- Alcoholism could easily become a problem - I have to stay away from it completely
- Dealing with feelings rather than being able to turn to food for comfort
 
 
So the goods obviously outweigh the bads by far. And many of the downsides are either related to mental health issues that were already present and have started to reoccur or lack of compliance with my plan. I have tried to start schedules for myself and that's one of the things I will be working on with my therapist. I have always had issues with compliance - and the biggest thing I need to do is make sure that I get all of my medicines and vitamins in, because I feel 110% better when I do.
 
 
 
So my New Years resolutions will include:
 
- Setting a day out every month to increase my compliance through scheduling, setting short term goals, and recognizing where my weaknesses have been
- Increasing my exercise
- Tracking my protein
- Not allowing myself to justify that bad foods are ok because I can only have 2 bites anyway (2 bites four times a week still adds up)
 
That was kind of long and rambley. Anyway, I hope that it helps others who might be looking into this and have some of the same mental health issues to maybe understand what it's like on the other side so that maybe they can prepare a little better and be able to manage some of the barriers to health better than I have.

Life has been crazy lately. With everything going on, I feel like I'm struggling just to keep my head above water, though part of that is my fault.
 
I don't enjoy the holiday season. It's not that I mind Christmas or Thanksgiving and being with family - it's nice to see them. But I don't like the stress that the holiday season brings along with it. The stress of finals, the stress of having no money and wanting to get the people I love nice gifts, the stress of work, the stress of not having time off, the stress of hearing the same five to ten Christmas songs over and over everywhere I go.
 
I want to be in the spirit of the season. I would love to spend a bunch of time shopping and get the people on my list some really neat things. I just can't afford it. I can't work full time because of school, and I can barely afford gas money to get to see my boyfriend on the weekends. And then right after the holiday season comes car insurance time. I just wish I had a bit of extra cash so that I could stop freaking out about money.
 
I have not been losing weight as consistently as before. I hit a couple of weeks of plateau where I thought maybe weight loss was done. I haven't gotten to working out as much as I'd have liked. I have been walking a lot more though. This week I had a bit of a nice drop though and have now fallen into the 230's, weighing in at 239.6 - what a great number to see. That means I'm just over 15 pounds away from 100 lost and I'm a little over four months out from surgery.
 
My boyfriend told me that he can really see the weight loss now. If you're looking at my back above my hips/butt, I actually look a normal weight. I wish my body would let me lose more from my lower abdomen and hips. I suppose it will come eventually.
 
Well, I didn't start this entry with the idea of complaining the whole way through, so I'm gonna head off and try and be more positive. Mostly I just wanted to document my weight and my feelings, especially since they took away my outside ticker so I've lost my graph that recorded all my weights. I will have to figure out how to set one up on my computer in excel or something. I know Alex said they'd work on it, but I am missing out on recording a number of weights while I wait for them to fix the tickers on this site.
 
I hope everyone is doing well!

So yesterday I had my very first date post-op. I had met him online and was very nervous =) I had decided to tell him about my VSG before meeting him, so that was thankfully something he already knew about.
 
It went really well, one of the better first dates I've had. I am a pretty shy person, but I tried to open up more. He is very cute and though I figured we'd only spend a couple hours together it turned into like an 8 hour date. We had lunch, walked around shops, played mini-golf, played arcade games, and went to a movie. I think he had a good time too, or at least I assume he did since he kept suggesting that we could keep hanging out after lunch. I'm gonna give it a few days or so and then I think if he hasn't mentioned it maybe I will bring up a second date. After all, I don't wanna make him have to do all the work. I'm reservedly excited though!
 
I actually felt like I looked great. I should have worn a coat that was a little bigger because the zip hoodie I wore was almost there but not quite.
 
So on to my progress: I have now lost 53.4 pounds! It's really pretty incredible to see that number. I haven't seen below 280 in like 4 years and now I'm at 271.6! I can't believe it most days. I still can't see it in the mirror, but I can see it in pictures now!! I need to get back on track with my protein though - I haven't been logging my food lately and I don't want to fall into bad habits. I want to continue to lose and the only way I can make this long term is if I self-correct when I make mistakes or get off track. Plus, I haven't been working out as much. This week my goal is to work out Tues-Sun. I would work out today but I have to head off to work shortly.
 
I am like 15 pounds away from being able to fit into my Threadless t-shirts! I am sooooo excited about that. I collect t-shirts and have like 40+ that I will be able to wear very soon. And pants! I wore my 24s to the date yesterday and I think they looked great. 22s are still pretty far away, but I am gonna be sooooo stoked when I can fit into them! It will be simply incredible.
 
October is usually the worst month of the year for me - Every October I seem to have issues or have a relationship end or whatnot. I dread October usually. And this October is great so far! If you had told me six months ago that I would be happy, down over 50 pounds, possibly about to start seeing a new guy who actually lives in this state, and doing decent in school all in OCTOBER - I never would have believed you! I feel like I should pinch myself to make sure this isn't just a dream.
 
Can I just reiterate that I love my VSG? I know it's not all thanks to my sleeve, but dang, it sure has helped.

It's been interesting looking back over my entries on this blog along with the journal that I keep intermittently on my computer. I think that it's chronicled not only the weight loss side of my journey, but a portion on my journey through my mental illness in relationship to my weight.
 
I started seeing a therapist last week. I probably should have sooner, and for anyone who has any kind of mental health disorder and is thinking about/having/had the surgery and even some of those who don't have a mental health disorder, it is something I would definitely recommend.
 
I have struggled with my mental health since I was a teenager and it has huge ties to my weight, so it's definitely relevant for me to have new issues as well as old issues cropping up as I continue to lose weight. It's funny because before surgery I reminded myself a number of times that weight loss was not a catch all for solving many of the problems that I have. Weight loss is just that - a loss of weight to increase my health.
 
I am now at 233 (lowest I have seen is 232) and still losing steadily, although much slower than before. Some days I feel like my entire life has changed, others I feel like I'm still left standing in the same place. Half of the time I cannot see the weight loss in the mirror. I can see it in the pictures, I hear it from the people around me, but there's this mental disconnect between that and the person I see in the mirror. I fit into smaller pants and my measurements shrink, but my waist still looks the same size (though one side of my stomach is bigger than the other, apparently I have some scar tissue or something holding my left side at a little bit larger around the stomach). I think this is one of my biggest struggles in regards to motivation.
 
So now that I'm approximately five months out, I'd like to take a minute for myself to outline what I think are the good and the bad that I've experienced from this surgery and from my journey over the past five months.
 
Good:
- Moving down from size 28 tight pants to size 22 slightly tight pants
- Hearing my coworker tell me today that I look like half of the person I used to be and that I now have a baby face
- Being told by my boyfriend that from the back waist up I look like I was never heavy to begin with, supposedly I now have a thin frame
- Having my mom notice that you can see my cheek bones
- Not being out of breath when trying to keep up with my classmates
- Having my smaller scrubs be too big and baggy
- Having my boyfriend be able to wrap his arms almost all the way around me (like almost back to himself)
- Having a boyfriend who is amazing (Yes, I attribute meeting him to the confidence I gained after surgery)
- Being able to walk up flights of stairs without being winded
- Being able to shave my legs without feeling like I'm doing some weird acrobatics
- Every time I realize something new fits
- Being able to sit next to someone on a bus and not feel like they are crossing their fingers I don't sit next to them
- Having a ton of extra length on my seatbelt
- Realizing I have collar bones and bones in my shoulders
- Being able to see the bones/tendons in my hands
- Having my rings fit every finger
- Feeling like people look at me instead of through me
- Not feeling like the largest person in every room
- Hitting the high end of projected weight loss by my doctor and still continuing to lose
- Not seeing a 3 on the beginning number of the scale
- Having lost something like 20% body fat according to my scale
- Not having to clear my plate out of anxiety at social settings
- Being cold at night instead of sweating my butt off (I prefer blankets to fans)
- Not feeling like the first thing people see is my weight
- Feeling comfortable enough in my body to have sex with the lights on and no covers
- Being able to reach my toes without doing weird bending manuvers
- Being able to paint my toenails
- The relief of not being at imminent risk of diabetes at 25
- Being able to fit in the bathroom stall and not always having to seek out the handicapped one
- The periods of increased confidence
- Feeling like I am moving on in my life
 
Bad:
- Hormonal imbalances - increases in mood swings, neediness, clingyness, irritability
- Saggy skin
- Lack of motivation to: Work out, take vitamins, get in protein - I struggle daily to fight my noncompliance
- Fatigue (Probably related in part to intermittent compliance with vitamins and protein)
- Anxiety related to the possibility of ever gaining the weight back
- Alcoholism could easily become a problem - I have to stay away from it completely
- Dealing with feelings rather than being able to turn to food for comfort
 
 
So the goods obviously outweigh the bads by far. And many of the downsides are either related to mental health issues that were already present and have started to reoccur or lack of compliance with my plan. I have tried to start schedules for myself and that's one of the things I will be working on with my therapist. I have always had issues with compliance - and the biggest thing I need to do is make sure that I get all of my medicines and vitamins in, because I feel 110% better when I do.
 
 
 
So my New Years resolutions will include:
 
- Setting a day out every month to increase my compliance through scheduling, setting short term goals, and recognizing where my weaknesses have been
- Increasing my exercise
- Tracking my protein
- Not allowing myself to justify that bad foods are ok because I can only have 2 bites anyway (2 bites four times a week still adds up)
 
That was kind of long and rambley. Anyway, I hope that it helps others who might be looking into this and have some of the same mental health issues to maybe understand what it's like on the other side so that maybe they can prepare a little better and be able to manage some of the barriers to health better than I have.

I don't really come on the forums as much anymore, but I'd like to keep a record for both myself and those who are looking through posts to find information about surgery. So I'm trying to at least keep my blog updated once in a while.
 
I had my 3 month appointment last month, which went well. According to my labs I am high on Vitamin D, so I'll be stopping my supplements. I am also low on my Vitamin A, which kinda surprised me because I never really considered it would be something I'd be low on, so I am going to be taking a supplement for that for a while. Aside from that I guess everything was good. I haven't actually gotten a copy of my labs yet, I'm waiting for them in the mail, so when I do get them I'll have a better idea of where I'm at.
 
My weight loss has continued steadily. I am down 76.2 pounds now. It's hard to believe really. There are days I feel thinner and there are days that I feel like I'm still the 325 pound person in the mirror. It's trippy to fit into new clothes but not see the difference when you look in the mirror. I am solidly in size 24s and just on the verge of being able to fit into some 22s.
 
I have not been following the diet as well as I should. I know that I have not been getting in enough protein lately, so that's something that I'm actively working on. I also have not been doing workouts, but I have been walking a lot. School has been busy, and I've been going to stay with the guy I am seeing almost every weekend, which means I am almost never home nowadays. I need to make it a priority again. I don't think I get enough in to eat in general. I have not regained any of my hunger, which is a great thing for my weight loss, but it makes me at high risk for being tempted to skip meals when I'm busy. I have been doing better the past week or two, but it's very easy to slip into the "I don't feel like eating" thought process nowadays. It's really kinda strange because I never imagined it was even physically possible for me to turn into one of those people who just didn't really care if they ate. But I don't.
 
I have had my period for almost 4 months straight now. It started a week or two after surgery and I've had maybe one week off of it. It's not heavy like a normal period, it's on and off moderate/light, but it's annoying. My gyno thinks that it's all the hormones and the fact that my pcp told me I could use 2 nuvarings in a row without having a period. She sent me for an ultrasound to make sure there was nothing else that could be causing it and they think I might have a cyst on my right ovary that they're going to take another look at in 4-6 months when I have lost more weight, but that there wasn't anything that would increase my bleeding. I've got my fingers crossed that it will stop any day now. I think it has been one of the hardest parts of the surgery for me. It's physically and mentally taxing to be on your period 24/7. I know this is probably TMI, but I wanted to vent a little!
 
My life has been good. Things are going pretty well with the guy that I've been seeing, which has been great. He loves to share meals with me, which I think is fantastic. School has been crazy. I am doing pretty well though, and I just can't wait for this semester to be over. I am really not cut out to be a pediatric or ob nurse. While I have had a ton of really interesting experiences this semester, I am ready to go back to adult care. I never thought I'd say it, but I kinda miss medsurg (I know I'm gonna be eating those words next semester). Anyway, overall things are great, I love my life, and I'm gonna keep working on keeping myself on track. Can I just say, VSG changed my life in a way I never thought possible. This Thanksgiving it is one of the things I am endlessly thankful for. Thank you modern medicine.

I don't really come on the forums as much anymore, but I'd like to keep a record for both myself and those who are looking through posts to find information about surgery. So I'm trying to at least keep my blog updated once in a while.
 
I had my 3 month appointment last month, which went well. According to my labs I am high on Vitamin D, so I'll be stopping my supplements. I am also low on my Vitamin A, which kinda surprised me because I never really considered it would be something I'd be low on, so I am going to be taking a supplement for that for a while. Aside from that I guess everything was good. I haven't actually gotten a copy of my labs yet, I'm waiting for them in the mail, so when I do get them I'll have a better idea of where I'm at.
 
My weight loss has continued steadily. I am down 76.2 pounds now. It's hard to believe really. There are days I feel thinner and there are days that I feel like I'm still the 325 pound person in the mirror. It's trippy to fit into new clothes but not see the difference when you look in the mirror. I am solidly in size 24s and just on the verge of being able to fit into some 22s.
 
I have not been following the diet as well as I should. I know that I have not been getting in enough protein lately, so that's something that I'm actively working on. I also have not been doing workouts, but I have been walking a lot. School has been busy, and I've been going to stay with the guy I am seeing almost every weekend, which means I am almost never home nowadays. I need to make it a priority again. I don't think I get enough in to eat in general. I have not regained any of my hunger, which is a great thing for my weight loss, but it makes me at high risk for being tempted to skip meals when I'm busy. I have been doing better the past week or two, but it's very easy to slip into the "I don't feel like eating" thought process nowadays. It's really kinda strange because I never imagined it was even physically possible for me to turn into one of those people who just didn't really care if they ate. But I don't.
 
I have had my period for almost 4 months straight now. It started a week or two after surgery and I've had maybe one week off of it. It's not heavy like a normal period, it's on and off moderate/light, but it's annoying. My gyno thinks that it's all the hormones and the fact that my pcp told me I could use 2 nuvarings in a row without having a period. She sent me for an ultrasound to make sure there was nothing else that could be causing it and they think I might have a cyst on my right ovary that they're going to take another look at in 4-6 months when I have lost more weight, but that there wasn't anything that would increase my bleeding. I've got my fingers crossed that it will stop any day now. I think it has been one of the hardest parts of the surgery for me. It's physically and mentally taxing to be on your period 24/7. I know this is probably TMI, but I wanted to vent a little!
 
My life has been good. Things are going pretty well with the guy that I've been seeing, which has been great. He loves to share meals with me, which I think is fantastic. School has been crazy. I am doing pretty well though, and I just can't wait for this semester to be over. I am really not cut out to be a pediatric or ob nurse. While I have had a ton of really interesting experiences this semester, I am ready to go back to adult care. I never thought I'd say it, but I kinda miss medsurg (I know I'm gonna be eating those words next semester). Anyway, overall things are great, I love my life, and I'm gonna keep working on keeping myself on track. Can I just say, VSG changed my life in a way I never thought possible. This Thanksgiving it is one of the things I am endlessly thankful for. Thank you modern medicine.

I don't really come on the forums as much anymore, but I'd like to keep a record for both myself and those who are looking through posts to find information about surgery. So I'm trying to at least keep my blog updated once in a while.
 
I had my 3 month appointment last month, which went well. According to my labs I am high on Vitamin D, so I'll be stopping my supplements. I am also low on my Vitamin A, which kinda surprised me because I never really considered it would be something I'd be low on, so I am going to be taking a supplement for that for a while. Aside from that I guess everything was good. I haven't actually gotten a copy of my labs yet, I'm waiting for them in the mail, so when I do get them I'll have a better idea of where I'm at.
 
My weight loss has continued steadily. I am down 76.2 pounds now. It's hard to believe really. There are days I feel thinner and there are days that I feel like I'm still the 325 pound person in the mirror. It's trippy to fit into new clothes but not see the difference when you look in the mirror. I am solidly in size 24s and just on the verge of being able to fit into some 22s.
 
I have not been following the diet as well as I should. I know that I have not been getting in enough protein lately, so that's something that I'm actively working on. I also have not been doing workouts, but I have been walking a lot. School has been busy, and I've been going to stay with the guy I am seeing almost every weekend, which means I am almost never home nowadays. I need to make it a priority again. I don't think I get enough in to eat in general. I have not regained any of my hunger, which is a great thing for my weight loss, but it makes me at high risk for being tempted to skip meals when I'm busy. I have been doing better the past week or two, but it's very easy to slip into the "I don't feel like eating" thought process nowadays. It's really kinda strange because I never imagined it was even physically possible for me to turn into one of those people who just didn't really care if they ate. But I don't.
 
I have had my period for almost 4 months straight now. It started a week or two after surgery and I've had maybe one week off of it. It's not heavy like a normal period, it's on and off moderate/light, but it's annoying. My gyno thinks that it's all the hormones and the fact that my pcp told me I could use 2 nuvarings in a row without having a period. She sent me for an ultrasound to make sure there was nothing else that could be causing it and they think I might have a cyst on my right ovary that they're going to take another look at in 4-6 months when I have lost more weight, but that there wasn't anything that would increase my bleeding. I've got my fingers crossed that it will stop any day now. I think it has been one of the hardest parts of the surgery for me. It's physically and mentally taxing to be on your period 24/7. I know this is probably TMI, but I wanted to vent a little!
 
My life has been good. Things are going pretty well with the guy that I've been seeing, which has been great. He loves to share meals with me, which I think is fantastic. School has been crazy. I am doing pretty well though, and I just can't wait for this semester to be over. I am really not cut out to be a pediatric or ob nurse. While I have had a ton of really interesting experiences this semester, I am ready to go back to adult care. I never thought I'd say it, but I kinda miss medsurg (I know I'm gonna be eating those words next semester). Anyway, overall things are great, I love my life, and I'm gonna keep working on keeping myself on track. Can I just say, VSG changed my life in a way I never thought possible. This Thanksgiving it is one of the things I am endlessly thankful for. Thank you modern medicine.

I don't really come on the forums as much anymore, but I'd like to keep a record for both myself and those who are looking through posts to find information about surgery. So I'm trying to at least keep my blog updated once in a while.
 
I had my 3 month appointment last month, which went well. According to my labs I am high on Vitamin D, so I'll be stopping my supplements. I am also low on my Vitamin A, which kinda surprised me because I never really considered it would be something I'd be low on, so I am going to be taking a supplement for that for a while. Aside from that I guess everything was good. I haven't actually gotten a copy of my labs yet, I'm waiting for them in the mail, so when I do get them I'll have a better idea of where I'm at.
 
My weight loss has continued steadily. I am down 76.2 pounds now. It's hard to believe really. There are days I feel thinner and there are days that I feel like I'm still the 325 pound person in the mirror. It's trippy to fit into new clothes but not see the difference when you look in the mirror. I am solidly in size 24s and just on the verge of being able to fit into some 22s.
 
I have not been following the diet as well as I should. I know that I have not been getting in enough protein lately, so that's something that I'm actively working on. I also have not been doing workouts, but I have been walking a lot. School has been busy, and I've been going to stay with the guy I am seeing almost every weekend, which means I am almost never home nowadays. I need to make it a priority again. I don't think I get enough in to eat in general. I have not regained any of my hunger, which is a great thing for my weight loss, but it makes me at high risk for being tempted to skip meals when I'm busy. I have been doing better the past week or two, but it's very easy to slip into the "I don't feel like eating" thought process nowadays. It's really kinda strange because I never imagined it was even physically possible for me to turn into one of those people who just didn't really care if they ate. But I don't.
 
I have had my period for almost 4 months straight now. It started a week or two after surgery and I've had maybe one week off of it. It's not heavy like a normal period, it's on and off moderate/light, but it's annoying. My gyno thinks that it's all the hormones and the fact that my pcp told me I could use 2 nuvarings in a row without having a period. She sent me for an ultrasound to make sure there was nothing else that could be causing it and they think I might have a cyst on my right ovary that they're going to take another look at in 4-6 months when I have lost more weight, but that there wasn't anything that would increase my bleeding. I've got my fingers crossed that it will stop any day now. I think it has been one of the hardest parts of the surgery for me. It's physically and mentally taxing to be on your period 24/7. I know this is probably TMI, but I wanted to vent a little!
 
My life has been good. Things are going pretty well with the guy that I've been seeing, which has been great. He loves to share meals with me, which I think is fantastic. School has been crazy. I am doing pretty well though, and I just can't wait for this semester to be over. I am really not cut out to be a pediatric or ob nurse. While I have had a ton of really interesting experiences this semester, I am ready to go back to adult care. I never thought I'd say it, but I kinda miss medsurg (I know I'm gonna be eating those words next semester). Anyway, overall things are great, I love my life, and I'm gonna keep working on keeping myself on track. Can I just say, VSG changed my life in a way I never thought possible. This Thanksgiving it is one of the things I am endlessly thankful for. Thank you modern medicine.

It has been a while since I have been on here regularly and written on here. I haven't even updated my weight for a few weeks. In the past 3 weeks I have gone from 276.8 to 262.6. So I am still losing well, and steadily. I'm down a total of 62.4 pounds now! Holy moly, I can barely believe it.
 
Even though I know I still have a lot to lose left, I feel like an entirely new person. My life has kind of done a 180. I have energy, I have confidence, I feel like I look good when I wear my clothes. It's incredible. I cannot even list all the ways this surgery has changed my life. I have struggled with depression for the entirety of my adult life, and a lot of my late teens/early adulthood, so the level of difference is like night and day. I have had good times before, yes, but I feel like I've come so far in being where and who I want to be. I still have hard times, I still am a horrible procrastinator, but I feel like whatever the day throws at me, I am more ready for than I have ever been.
 
And....I think I have a boyfriend. He hasn't actually called me his girlfriend, but we did have a casual conversation the other day in which we asked if the other was seeing anyone else, and neither of us are, so I guess that makes us exclusive? He invited me to a get together with his coworkers next weekend, so we will see what he introduces me as, or maybe between now and then we'll chat about it. He's really an awesome guy, and we click really well together. Last night we went to a corn maze and walked around for about two hours - something I probably never would have done pre-surgery. He has said that I motivate him to eat better when he's out eating and whatnot. I thought that was really neat. He doesn't have a lot to lose, maybe 40 pounds or so, but it would be awesome to have him get in shape and feel better too. So I spent the night at his place and the whole day and night were just fabulous. I can add one NSV to my list about having more fun during sex =) Skinnier sex is much more fun.
 
Sometimes I feel like I need someone to pinch me, like is this really real? Is this my life now? How did I get to such a happy place so quickly? Not that I was horribly depressed before, but I certainly was not happy. I cannot say enough how thankful I am for this surgery. I will have to remember to let my surgeon know Thursday at my 3 month appointment that he has been such an instrument for change in my life. I'm sure he gets it a lot as people lose, but it would be nice to let him know that I feel so appreciative for the gift he has given me (Even though I paid for it =p).
 
Anyway, I just wanted to update because I hadn't in a while, and I haven't really kept up on my food logging or searching posts here. I keep trying to get myself back into the habit of it, but it hasn't worked. It will continually be something that I try to work on until I can finally make it a habit. I haven't been eating poorly though, and my weight loss has been great, so I'm not concerned or anything.
 
That being said, I'm procrastinating finishing getting ready for work, so I have to head off. I hope everyone is doing well!
 
Life is good. =D

It has been a while since I have been on here regularly and written on here. I haven't even updated my weight for a few weeks. In the past 3 weeks I have gone from 276.8 to 262.6. So I am still losing well, and steadily. I'm down a total of 62.4 pounds now! Holy moly, I can barely believe it.
 
Even though I know I still have a lot to lose left, I feel like an entirely new person. My life has kind of done a 180. I have energy, I have confidence, I feel like I look good when I wear my clothes. It's incredible. I cannot even list all the ways this surgery has changed my life. I have struggled with depression for the entirety of my adult life, and a lot of my late teens/early adulthood, so the level of difference is like night and day. I have had good times before, yes, but I feel like I've come so far in being where and who I want to be. I still have hard times, I still am a horrible procrastinator, but I feel like whatever the day throws at me, I am more ready for than I have ever been.
 
And....I think I have a boyfriend. He hasn't actually called me his girlfriend, but we did have a casual conversation the other day in which we asked if the other was seeing anyone else, and neither of us are, so I guess that makes us exclusive? He invited me to a get together with his coworkers next weekend, so we will see what he introduces me as, or maybe between now and then we'll chat about it. He's really an awesome guy, and we click really well together. Last night we went to a corn maze and walked around for about two hours - something I probably never would have done pre-surgery. He has said that I motivate him to eat better when he's out eating and whatnot. I thought that was really neat. He doesn't have a lot to lose, maybe 40 pounds or so, but it would be awesome to have him get in shape and feel better too. So I spent the night at his place and the whole day and night were just fabulous. I can add one NSV to my list about having more fun during sex =) Skinnier sex is much more fun.
 
Sometimes I feel like I need someone to pinch me, like is this really real? Is this my life now? How did I get to such a happy place so quickly? Not that I was horribly depressed before, but I certainly was not happy. I cannot say enough how thankful I am for this surgery. I will have to remember to let my surgeon know Thursday at my 3 month appointment that he has been such an instrument for change in my life. I'm sure he gets it a lot as people lose, but it would be nice to let him know that I feel so appreciative for the gift he has given me (Even though I paid for it =p).
 
Anyway, I just wanted to update because I hadn't in a while, and I haven't really kept up on my food logging or searching posts here. I keep trying to get myself back into the habit of it, but it hasn't worked. It will continually be something that I try to work on until I can finally make it a habit. I haven't been eating poorly though, and my weight loss has been great, so I'm not concerned or anything.
 
That being said, I'm procrastinating finishing getting ready for work, so I have to head off. I hope everyone is doing well!
 
Life is good. =D

It has been a while since I have been on here regularly and written on here. I haven't even updated my weight for a few weeks. In the past 3 weeks I have gone from 276.8 to 262.6. So I am still losing well, and steadily. I'm down a total of 62.4 pounds now! Holy moly, I can barely believe it.
 
Even though I know I still have a lot to lose left, I feel like an entirely new person. My life has kind of done a 180. I have energy, I have confidence, I feel like I look good when I wear my clothes. It's incredible. I cannot even list all the ways this surgery has changed my life. I have struggled with depression for the entirety of my adult life, and a lot of my late teens/early adulthood, so the level of difference is like night and day. I have had good times before, yes, but I feel like I've come so far in being where and who I want to be. I still have hard times, I still am a horrible procrastinator, but I feel like whatever the day throws at me, I am more ready for than I have ever been.
 
And....I think I have a boyfriend. He hasn't actually called me his girlfriend, but we did have a casual conversation the other day in which we asked if the other was seeing anyone else, and neither of us are, so I guess that makes us exclusive? He invited me to a get together with his coworkers next weekend, so we will see what he introduces me as, or maybe between now and then we'll chat about it. He's really an awesome guy, and we click really well together. Last night we went to a corn maze and walked around for about two hours - something I probably never would have done pre-surgery. He has said that I motivate him to eat better when he's out eating and whatnot. I thought that was really neat. He doesn't have a lot to lose, maybe 40 pounds or so, but it would be awesome to have him get in shape and feel better too. So I spent the night at his place and the whole day and night were just fabulous. I can add one NSV to my list about having more fun during sex =) Skinnier sex is much more fun.
 
Sometimes I feel like I need someone to pinch me, like is this really real? Is this my life now? How did I get to such a happy place so quickly? Not that I was horribly depressed before, but I certainly was not happy. I cannot say enough how thankful I am for this surgery. I will have to remember to let my surgeon know Thursday at my 3 month appointment that he has been such an instrument for change in my life. I'm sure he gets it a lot as people lose, but it would be nice to let him know that I feel so appreciative for the gift he has given me (Even though I paid for it =p).
 
Anyway, I just wanted to update because I hadn't in a while, and I haven't really kept up on my food logging or searching posts here. I keep trying to get myself back into the habit of it, but it hasn't worked. It will continually be something that I try to work on until I can finally make it a habit. I haven't been eating poorly though, and my weight loss has been great, so I'm not concerned or anything.
 
That being said, I'm procrastinating finishing getting ready for work, so I have to head off. I hope everyone is doing well!
 
Life is good. =D

It has been a while since I have been on here regularly and written on here. I haven't even updated my weight for a few weeks. In the past 3 weeks I have gone from 276.8 to 262.6. So I am still losing well, and steadily. I'm down a total of 62.4 pounds now! Holy moly, I can barely believe it.
 
Even though I know I still have a lot to lose left, I feel like an entirely new person. My life has kind of done a 180. I have energy, I have confidence, I feel like I look good when I wear my clothes. It's incredible. I cannot even list all the ways this surgery has changed my life. I have struggled with depression for the entirety of my adult life, and a lot of my late teens/early adulthood, so the level of difference is like night and day. I have had good times before, yes, but I feel like I've come so far in being where and who I want to be. I still have hard times, I still am a horrible procrastinator, but I feel like whatever the day throws at me, I am more ready for than I have ever been.
 
And....I think I have a boyfriend. He hasn't actually called me his girlfriend, but we did have a casual conversation the other day in which we asked if the other was seeing anyone else, and neither of us are, so I guess that makes us exclusive? He invited me to a get together with his coworkers next weekend, so we will see what he introduces me as, or maybe between now and then we'll chat about it. He's really an awesome guy, and we click really well together. Last night we went to a corn maze and walked around for about two hours - something I probably never would have done pre-surgery. He has said that I motivate him to eat better when he's out eating and whatnot. I thought that was really neat. He doesn't have a lot to lose, maybe 40 pounds or so, but it would be awesome to have him get in shape and feel better too. So I spent the night at his place and the whole day and night were just fabulous. I can add one NSV to my list about having more fun during sex =) Skinnier sex is much more fun.
 
Sometimes I feel like I need someone to pinch me, like is this really real? Is this my life now? How did I get to such a happy place so quickly? Not that I was horribly depressed before, but I certainly was not happy. I cannot say enough how thankful I am for this surgery. I will have to remember to let my surgeon know Thursday at my 3 month appointment that he has been such an instrument for change in my life. I'm sure he gets it a lot as people lose, but it would be nice to let him know that I feel so appreciative for the gift he has given me (Even though I paid for it =p).
 
Anyway, I just wanted to update because I hadn't in a while, and I haven't really kept up on my food logging or searching posts here. I keep trying to get myself back into the habit of it, but it hasn't worked. It will continually be something that I try to work on until I can finally make it a habit. I haven't been eating poorly though, and my weight loss has been great, so I'm not concerned or anything.
 
That being said, I'm procrastinating finishing getting ready for work, so I have to head off. I hope everyone is doing well!
 
Life is good. =D

It has been a while since I have been on here regularly and written on here. I haven't even updated my weight for a few weeks. In the past 3 weeks I have gone from 276.8 to 262.6. So I am still losing well, and steadily. I'm down a total of 62.4 pounds now! Holy moly, I can barely believe it.
 
Even though I know I still have a lot to lose left, I feel like an entirely new person. My life has kind of done a 180. I have energy, I have confidence, I feel like I look good when I wear my clothes. It's incredible. I cannot even list all the ways this surgery has changed my life. I have struggled with depression for the entirety of my adult life, and a lot of my late teens/early adulthood, so the level of difference is like night and day. I have had good times before, yes, but I feel like I've come so far in being where and who I want to be. I still have hard times, I still am a horrible procrastinator, but I feel like whatever the day throws at me, I am more ready for than I have ever been.
 
And....I think I have a boyfriend. He hasn't actually called me his girlfriend, but we did have a casual conversation the other day in which we asked if the other was seeing anyone else, and neither of us are, so I guess that makes us exclusive? He invited me to a get together with his coworkers next weekend, so we will see what he introduces me as, or maybe between now and then we'll chat about it. He's really an awesome guy, and we click really well together. Last night we went to a corn maze and walked around for about two hours - something I probably never would have done pre-surgery. He has said that I motivate him to eat better when he's out eating and whatnot. I thought that was really neat. He doesn't have a lot to lose, maybe 40 pounds or so, but it would be awesome to have him get in shape and feel better too. So I spent the night at his place and the whole day and night were just fabulous. I can add one NSV to my list about having more fun during sex =) Skinnier sex is much more fun.
 
Sometimes I feel like I need someone to pinch me, like is this really real? Is this my life now? How did I get to such a happy place so quickly? Not that I was horribly depressed before, but I certainly was not happy. I cannot say enough how thankful I am for this surgery. I will have to remember to let my surgeon know Thursday at my 3 month appointment that he has been such an instrument for change in my life. I'm sure he gets it a lot as people lose, but it would be nice to let him know that I feel so appreciative for the gift he has given me (Even though I paid for it =p).
 
Anyway, I just wanted to update because I hadn't in a while, and I haven't really kept up on my food logging or searching posts here. I keep trying to get myself back into the habit of it, but it hasn't worked. It will continually be something that I try to work on until I can finally make it a habit. I haven't been eating poorly though, and my weight loss has been great, so I'm not concerned or anything.
 
That being said, I'm procrastinating finishing getting ready for work, so I have to head off. I hope everyone is doing well!
 
Life is good. =D

So yesterday I had my very first date post-op. I had met him online and was very nervous =) I had decided to tell him about my VSG before meeting him, so that was thankfully something he already knew about.
 
It went really well, one of the better first dates I've had. I am a pretty shy person, but I tried to open up more. He is very cute and though I figured we'd only spend a couple hours together it turned into like an 8 hour date. We had lunch, walked around shops, played mini-golf, played arcade games, and went to a movie. I think he had a good time too, or at least I assume he did since he kept suggesting that we could keep hanging out after lunch. I'm gonna give it a few days or so and then I think if he hasn't mentioned it maybe I will bring up a second date. After all, I don't wanna make him have to do all the work. I'm reservedly excited though!
 
I actually felt like I looked great. I should have worn a coat that was a little bigger because the zip hoodie I wore was almost there but not quite.
 
So on to my progress: I have now lost 53.4 pounds! It's really pretty incredible to see that number. I haven't seen below 280 in like 4 years and now I'm at 271.6! I can't believe it most days. I still can't see it in the mirror, but I can see it in pictures now!! I need to get back on track with my protein though - I haven't been logging my food lately and I don't want to fall into bad habits. I want to continue to lose and the only way I can make this long term is if I self-correct when I make mistakes or get off track. Plus, I haven't been working out as much. This week my goal is to work out Tues-Sun. I would work out today but I have to head off to work shortly.
 
I am like 15 pounds away from being able to fit into my Threadless t-shirts! I am sooooo excited about that. I collect t-shirts and have like 40+ that I will be able to wear very soon. And pants! I wore my 24s to the date yesterday and I think they looked great. 22s are still pretty far away, but I am gonna be sooooo stoked when I can fit into them! It will be simply incredible.
 
October is usually the worst month of the year for me - Every October I seem to have issues or have a relationship end or whatnot. I dread October usually. And this October is great so far! If you had told me six months ago that I would be happy, down over 50 pounds, possibly about to start seeing a new guy who actually lives in this state, and doing decent in school all in OCTOBER - I never would have believed you! I feel like I should pinch myself to make sure this isn't just a dream.
 
Can I just reiterate that I love my VSG? I know it's not all thanks to my sleeve, but dang, it sure has helped.

So yesterday I had my very first date post-op. I had met him online and was very nervous =) I had decided to tell him about my VSG before meeting him, so that was thankfully something he already knew about.
 
It went really well, one of the better first dates I've had. I am a pretty shy person, but I tried to open up more. He is very cute and though I figured we'd only spend a couple hours together it turned into like an 8 hour date. We had lunch, walked around shops, played mini-golf, played arcade games, and went to a movie. I think he had a good time too, or at least I assume he did since he kept suggesting that we could keep hanging out after lunch. I'm gonna give it a few days or so and then I think if he hasn't mentioned it maybe I will bring up a second date. After all, I don't wanna make him have to do all the work. I'm reservedly excited though!
 
I actually felt like I looked great. I should have worn a coat that was a little bigger because the zip hoodie I wore was almost there but not quite.
 
So on to my progress: I have now lost 53.4 pounds! It's really pretty incredible to see that number. I haven't seen below 280 in like 4 years and now I'm at 271.6! I can't believe it most days. I still can't see it in the mirror, but I can see it in pictures now!! I need to get back on track with my protein though - I haven't been logging my food lately and I don't want to fall into bad habits. I want to continue to lose and the only way I can make this long term is if I self-correct when I make mistakes or get off track. Plus, I haven't been working out as much. This week my goal is to work out Tues-Sun. I would work out today but I have to head off to work shortly.
 
I am like 15 pounds away from being able to fit into my Threadless t-shirts! I am sooooo excited about that. I collect t-shirts and have like 40+ that I will be able to wear very soon. And pants! I wore my 24s to the date yesterday and I think they looked great. 22s are still pretty far away, but I am gonna be sooooo stoked when I can fit into them! It will be simply incredible.
 
October is usually the worst month of the year for me - Every October I seem to have issues or have a relationship end or whatnot. I dread October usually. And this October is great so far! If you had told me six months ago that I would be happy, down over 50 pounds, possibly about to start seeing a new guy who actually lives in this state, and doing decent in school all in OCTOBER - I never would have believed you! I feel like I should pinch myself to make sure this isn't just a dream.
 
Can I just reiterate that I love my VSG? I know it's not all thanks to my sleeve, but dang, it sure has helped.

So yesterday I had my very first date post-op. I had met him online and was very nervous =) I had decided to tell him about my VSG before meeting him, so that was thankfully something he already knew about.
 
It went really well, one of the better first dates I've had. I am a pretty shy person, but I tried to open up more. He is very cute and though I figured we'd only spend a couple hours together it turned into like an 8 hour date. We had lunch, walked around shops, played mini-golf, played arcade games, and went to a movie. I think he had a good time too, or at least I assume he did since he kept suggesting that we could keep hanging out after lunch. I'm gonna give it a few days or so and then I think if he hasn't mentioned it maybe I will bring up a second date. After all, I don't wanna make him have to do all the work. I'm reservedly excited though!
 
I actually felt like I looked great. I should have worn a coat that was a little bigger because the zip hoodie I wore was almost there but not quite.
 
So on to my progress: I have now lost 53.4 pounds! It's really pretty incredible to see that number. I haven't seen below 280 in like 4 years and now I'm at 271.6! I can't believe it most days. I still can't see it in the mirror, but I can see it in pictures now!! I need to get back on track with my protein though - I haven't been logging my food lately and I don't want to fall into bad habits. I want to continue to lose and the only way I can make this long term is if I self-correct when I make mistakes or get off track. Plus, I haven't been working out as much. This week my goal is to work out Tues-Sun. I would work out today but I have to head off to work shortly.
 
I am like 15 pounds away from being able to fit into my Threadless t-shirts! I am sooooo excited about that. I collect t-shirts and have like 40+ that I will be able to wear very soon. And pants! I wore my 24s to the date yesterday and I think they looked great. 22s are still pretty far away, but I am gonna be sooooo stoked when I can fit into them! It will be simply incredible.
 
October is usually the worst month of the year for me - Every October I seem to have issues or have a relationship end or whatnot. I dread October usually. And this October is great so far! If you had told me six months ago that I would be happy, down over 50 pounds, possibly about to start seeing a new guy who actually lives in this state, and doing decent in school all in OCTOBER - I never would have believed you! I feel like I should pinch myself to make sure this isn't just a dream.
 
Can I just reiterate that I love my VSG? I know it's not all thanks to my sleeve, but dang, it sure has helped.

So yesterday I had my very first date post-op. I had met him online and was very nervous =) I had decided to tell him about my VSG before meeting him, so that was thankfully something he already knew about.
 
It went really well, one of the better first dates I've had. I am a pretty shy person, but I tried to open up more. He is very cute and though I figured we'd only spend a couple hours together it turned into like an 8 hour date. We had lunch, walked around shops, played mini-golf, played arcade games, and went to a movie. I think he had a good time too, or at least I assume he did since he kept suggesting that we could keep hanging out after lunch. I'm gonna give it a few days or so and then I think if he hasn't mentioned it maybe I will bring up a second date. After all, I don't wanna make him have to do all the work. I'm reservedly excited though!
 
I actually felt like I looked great. I should have worn a coat that was a little bigger because the zip hoodie I wore was almost there but not quite.
 
So on to my progress: I have now lost 53.4 pounds! It's really pretty incredible to see that number. I haven't seen below 280 in like 4 years and now I'm at 271.6! I can't believe it most days. I still can't see it in the mirror, but I can see it in pictures now!! I need to get back on track with my protein though - I haven't been logging my food lately and I don't want to fall into bad habits. I want to continue to lose and the only way I can make this long term is if I self-correct when I make mistakes or get off track. Plus, I haven't been working out as much. This week my goal is to work out Tues-Sun. I would work out today but I have to head off to work shortly.
 
I am like 15 pounds away from being able to fit into my Threadless t-shirts! I am sooooo excited about that. I collect t-shirts and have like 40+ that I will be able to wear very soon. And pants! I wore my 24s to the date yesterday and I think they looked great. 22s are still pretty far away, but I am gonna be sooooo stoked when I can fit into them! It will be simply incredible.
 
October is usually the worst month of the year for me - Every October I seem to have issues or have a relationship end or whatnot. I dread October usually. And this October is great so far! If you had told me six months ago that I would be happy, down over 50 pounds, possibly about to start seeing a new guy who actually lives in this state, and doing decent in school all in OCTOBER - I never would have believed you! I feel like I should pinch myself to make sure this isn't just a dream.
 
Can I just reiterate that I love my VSG? I know it's not all thanks to my sleeve, but dang, it sure has helped.

Well, today was the day. I went to see the pysch, and....................................................HE CLEARED ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was so quick. It took me longer to fill out all the paper work then it did to see him. He talked to me for about ten minutes then start printing out papers and was like ok here is your copy to keep for your files, and I will e-mail a copy to your surgeon. Then he was like good luck and have a great day. Talk about someone who walked out there with a chesire cat grin on their face.

I am not going to lie. I hate Mondays. And it's not just Mondays, it is really just whatever day starts the week off. I have had Mondays off here and there, but this is the first Monday I have been able to relax, kick back, and enjoy me. No worries of work the next day, no chores around the house (I finished those pre-op!), no school work to start. I have just been able to focus on my health and supporting my new lifestyle.
 
I walked around the yard a number of times today. I got to take in all the flowers that are blooming - although sadly many of them have died due to the lack of rain. I got to listen to the birds, watch my dogs run around and have fun, and get in some good old sunlight vitamin D.
 
I am not having as much pain as I had been having. I realize I have not updated this blog since I was still pre-op. I will write a synopsis of my immediate post-op experiences later on, as I am currently battling sleep. I am able to move up and down out of the chair easily now. I only am waking up once or twice a night, and not every time needing pain medicine.
 
I am really taking the time to enjoy my foods. I don't know how long it has been since I made a meal really last. Today I had some homemade chicken soup broth and it lasted me like 45 minutes for just a small 4oz glass. It really was incredible and I felt totally satisfied afterward. Before surgery that would have been down in a matter of minutes and I would have been wanting more immediately. Even after a whole bowl I may not have been satisfied.
 
I guess I just wanted to take a minute to share that even in just the first week after surgery, I am appreciating my life more. I am only looking forward to all the great things I will continue to rediscover in my life =)
 
I hope everyone is doing well! I'll update more later.

Less than 12 hours until my surgery. Only a bit under nine and a half hours until I need to be at the medical center.
 
I want to be super excited, but I find I am just EXHAUSTED from work and clear liquid diet (I can't seem to find much of anything with protein that is clear and liquid). I feel like I could sleep for days.
 
Next time I talk to you guys, I will be sleeved! See you on the other side!