Kime-lou

In society today people have become, well crazy. We ALL have crazy moment when we just seem to forget and make snap comments or judgement without thinking things through.
 
What took place in CT is truly a tragedy that I don't think I will ever be able to comprehend. I had the same feelings when reading about and see reports about Columbine, Okalahoma City, 9-11, Virginia Tech - why do people hurt innocents. These are all horrible horrible things, but what about the small things.
 
On a daily basis we (me and you) have the ability to hurt or help someone. In my job I can get easily frustrated with parents, kids, staff, and have to remind myself to be real. I should not take my frustration with one person out on someone else- they don't deserve it. This is also the situation with this site.
 
This site was created with the hope of giving support to other who have been banded. There are some on this site who have done an amazing job with their band and really have it down, then there are some who are struggling or haven't done as well, but the one thing we have in common is the band. When I respond, write blogs, ect I try to only present what has happened to me on my journey.
 
Each person on this site have influences that other do not- different doctor, emotional states, family situations, illnessess, ect there for the journey will not be the same for everyone. I tend to only get frustrated with those that try to tell people to go against doctors orders. If you choose a doctor and trust him/her then you should LISTEN to their medical advice!!!! If you doctor says you need vitamins, maybe there is something in your labs or history to cause the doctor to say that so take them no matter what anyone else says. If you doctor says eat xyz then do it. If you feel like you are getting unsound advice from the doctor seek out a second opinion from ANOTHER DOCTOR!!!! A bariactric specialist is the only one you should take MEDICAL advice from!!
 
On this site we need to be here to tell our story, how we are doing, how we are making it on journey and what we have experienced. No, we do not need to sugar coat and validate bad behavior (eating food 2 days post op- I doubt this is allowed by any Doctor). What we should be doing is being a helpful encourager to stick to the program. We all are told to eat healthier (stop eating junk food every day and greasy fried foods), to move more (I didn't say be a gym rat, just move more), and to eat smaller portions ( I think most doctors recommend a cup). If you do not like a response some one has to a comment you posted either ignore it or RESPECTFULY state why you do not agree.
 
The key is being respectful of each other, we can agree to disagree. I may not like what a person has to say, but that doesn't give me the right to bash them. If I expect respect, then I must give it.
 
What a better world we would live in if people could just respect!!

In society today people have become, well crazy. We ALL have crazy moment when we just seem to forget and make snap comments or judgement without thinking things through.
 
What took place in CT is truly a tragedy that I don't think I will ever be able to comprehend. I had the same feelings when reading about and see reports about Columbine, Okalahoma City, 9-11, Virginia Tech - why do people hurt innocents. These are all horrible horrible things, but what about the small things.
 
On a daily basis we (me and you) have the ability to hurt or help someone. In my job I can get easily frustrated with parents, kids, staff, and have to remind myself to be real. I should not take my frustration with one person out on someone else- they don't deserve it. This is also the situation with this site.
 
This site was created with the hope of giving support to other who have been banded. There are some on this site who have done an amazing job with their band and really have it down, then there are some who are struggling or haven't done as well, but the one thing we have in common is the band. When I respond, write blogs, ect I try to only present what has happened to me on my journey.
 
Each person on this site have influences that other do not- different doctor, emotional states, family situations, illnessess, ect there for the journey will not be the same for everyone. I tend to only get frustrated with those that try to tell people to go against doctors orders. If you choose a doctor and trust him/her then you should LISTEN to their medical advice!!!! If you doctor says you need vitamins, maybe there is something in your labs or history to cause the doctor to say that so take them no matter what anyone else says. If you doctor says eat xyz then do it. If you feel like you are getting unsound advice from the doctor seek out a second opinion from ANOTHER DOCTOR!!!! A bariactric specialist is the only one you should take MEDICAL advice from!!
 
On this site we need to be here to tell our story, how we are doing, how we are making it on journey and what we have experienced. No, we do not need to sugar coat and validate bad behavior (eating food 2 days post op- I doubt this is allowed by any Doctor). What we should be doing is being a helpful encourager to stick to the program. We all are told to eat healthier (stop eating junk food every day and greasy fried foods), to move more (I didn't say be a gym rat, just move more), and to eat smaller portions ( I think most doctors recommend a cup). If you do not like a response some one has to a comment you posted either ignore it or RESPECTFULY state why you do not agree.
 
The key is being respectful of each other, we can agree to disagree. I may not like what a person has to say, but that doesn't give me the right to bash them. If I expect respect, then I must give it.
 
What a better world we would live in if people could just respect!!

In society today people have become, well crazy. We ALL have crazy moment when we just seem to forget and make snap comments or judgement without thinking things through.
 
What took place in CT is truly a tragedy that I don't think I will ever be able to comprehend. I had the same feelings when reading about and see reports about Columbine, Okalahoma City, 9-11, Virginia Tech - why do people hurt innocents. These are all horrible horrible things, but what about the small things.
 
On a daily basis we (me and you) have the ability to hurt or help someone. In my job I can get easily frustrated with parents, kids, staff, and have to remind myself to be real. I should not take my frustration with one person out on someone else- they don't deserve it. This is also the situation with this site.
 
This site was created with the hope of giving support to other who have been banded. There are some on this site who have done an amazing job with their band and really have it down, then there are some who are struggling or haven't done as well, but the one thing we have in common is the band. When I respond, write blogs, ect I try to only present what has happened to me on my journey.
 
Each person on this site have influences that other do not- different doctor, emotional states, family situations, illnessess, ect there for the journey will not be the same for everyone. I tend to only get frustrated with those that try to tell people to go against doctors orders. If you choose a doctor and trust him/her then you should LISTEN to their medical advice!!!! If you doctor says you need vitamins, maybe there is something in your labs or history to cause the doctor to say that so take them no matter what anyone else says. If you doctor says eat xyz then do it. If you feel like you are getting unsound advice from the doctor seek out a second opinion from ANOTHER DOCTOR!!!! A bariactric specialist is the only one you should take MEDICAL advice from!!
 
On this site we need to be here to tell our story, how we are doing, how we are making it on journey and what we have experienced. No, we do not need to sugar coat and validate bad behavior (eating food 2 days post op- I doubt this is allowed by any Doctor). What we should be doing is being a helpful encourager to stick to the program. We all are told to eat healthier (stop eating junk food every day and greasy fried foods), to move more (I didn't say be a gym rat, just move more), and to eat smaller portions ( I think most doctors recommend a cup). If you do not like a response some one has to a comment you posted either ignore it or RESPECTFULY state why you do not agree.
 
The key is being respectful of each other, we can agree to disagree. I may not like what a person has to say, but that doesn't give me the right to bash them. If I expect respect, then I must give it.
 
What a better world we would live in if people could just respect!!

If you are anything like me your weight has held you back from enjoying many things.
 
Since childhood I avoided crowds, parties, public to hopefully avoid being picked on. The first time I ever traveled was when I was 22 years old. I went to New Orleans to see my cousin, my first time out of NC/VA and my first time on a plane. Since I have traveled to Vegas, Nashville, and California's Sierras. I love to travel, but some places I still wouldn't go due to my weight- beaches, warm places, where a bathing suit would be expected.
 
I also didn't go into fancy clothing stores, I just got my clothes at walmart. I was afraid of what the sales ladies would think of me walking in a upscale store.
 
Now, I have lost 45 lbs, I am 32 years old and I am sick and tired of not living due to my weight. So even though I have not reached my goal, I am going to LIVE!!!
 
I have always wanted to go to Disney and Seaworld, but never did due to the walking discomfort fear and all the people. Well, I booked the hubs and I a week trip to Disney for April. Mickey here we come!! I plan to do the things I have always wanted to do, not more holding back.
 
It's my time! I don't want to look back 40 years from now with regrets. I considered lapband 10 years ago, but didn't do it because my family wasn't supportive, I wish I would have told them on board or not I am doing it.
 
Next fall we are going back to Louisana (his family is there), maybe New York in the next year. No more holding back and waiting for xyz to take place. I am alive and here now, so I am going to LIVE!

When we are little we believe that anything is possible-- santa can visit every house in one night, the tooth fairy brings us money for our teeth, the Easter bunny, ect. As little kids we see the world full of wonderful possibilities just waiting for us.
 
However, as we grow we begin to loose the rose colored glasses and become jaded by the reality of the world we live in. Happily ever after doesn't exist and things aren't always perfect- now I am not say things can't be good because they can be, but not every moment of every day and not every relationship is perfect all the time.
 
As a kid I never imagined I would become so large. I was so small until I turned 5. As I began to gain weight I would ask my mom sometimes why I was fat. She would just say I would grow out of it, after all my cousin did. I accepted that and went on. Well puberty came and went as did the teen years and I was still fat. I never grew out of it. What I didn't know is that my cousin put forth a great deal of effort in her preteens to shed the weight- all I knew was that she went from fat to skinny in what seemed like a summer and became a beautiful girl. That wasn't to be my story.
 
Now that I have admitted that I have a food problem and needed help, got banded and begun my journey- it is hard to belive I will ever reach my goal. The first 5 months the weight seemed to fly off 45 lbs- awesome, but now the loss has slowed almost plateaued and I find myself begining to worry that I may never reach my elusive dream weight (140).
 
I know that I should believe in myself, my band, my doctor and nutritionist, but it's hard when every other attempt I have made to loose weight has failed. Realistically I know it is different this time, I am not on a diet with a fixed end date, I am changing my life style one day at a time. I am making new habits, healthy ones that in time I hope will stick. Some things have been easy like giving up pop (soda), not drinking with meals, drinking water, even eating less at a meal. Some things though haven't been as easy, letting go of my salty snack of party mix (that stuff is addictive and it is my major weakness), not baking so I won't eat the sweets, not eating steak (just doesn't work well with my band).
 
Slowly, but surely I am making a change to a better way of life that in time hopefully will become habit. However, there is still that little voice of insecurity in the back of my head saying you won't do it, you will gain all that weight back, you are destine to be a fat girl forever (insert menacing laugh here)!! I fight every day to squash that voice and to believe that I will make it. After all I have lost 45 lbs and I am moving more and eating less.
 
So for now I am going to keep saying I believe in me, until I do!!

My mother says I have never been very patient, I was even born a month early.
 
I believe the reason I have never been successful at weight loss was my lack of patience. Most of you can likely sympathize with working really hard to lose weight and after a couple weeks only a pound or half pound and finally you say forget it where is the pizza. This has been the case with me each time.
 
With the band it has been different. My bandversary is Dec. 22 and will be 6 months. As of right now I am 45 lbs down and feeling good. Of course I wish I was down more. I have tried to be realistic in these months and eat healthy, but not totally limit myself from things I love, because I know that isn't possible to do forever. Therefore, I will highly restrict myself with things that I know aren't the best for me.
 
For the last two months though my weight loss has slowed. Last month I only lost 2 lbs and so far this month only 2. I have started back working out and counting my calories to make sure I am using more calories than I am taking in.
 
At one point I had a goal of getting to the 160's by April 1st. My husband and I are taking a trip to Disney, I've never been and my husband hasn't since he was a kid, so we are excited to get away. However, it's Dec. 13th and I am sitting at 199, which is great - finally below 200- but I do not thing it is possible loose 40 lbs in 4 months or rather possible for me. My first month I lost 20 lbs, after that it slowed and my best month since was 8 lbs lost, which was Oct. I do not want to discourage myself my setting a goal that is likely unattainable. So, I have decided that I am going to stay on the lapband path taking one step at the time and I will reach my final goal of 140's when I do- it may be a year from now, but I will get there.
 
I must keep my motivation up and stay strong. During the holidays I must admit I am finding it harder that before. Last night I made 4 batches of snickerdoodle party mix- my hubby had a work Christmas party today and wanted me to make it. So, I made it. I sent him to work with half of it and I bagged up the remainder and gave it to coworkers as gifts - after all if they gain a weight it will just make me look smaller (evil I know- jk). I do not want to tempt myself with treats that are not healthy.
 
For once in my life I want to give my body what it needs rather than what it wants!!

I think we all either have or will run into bumps in the lapband journey and we will all handle them in our own way.
 
I was banded June 22- the first week of Dec. I hit 199- Onederland- after starting at 244. The month of Nov. I only lost 2 lbs. and I fear Dec will be the same. My doctor says that isn't really a plateau and to not stress about it, easy for his 130 lbs runners body to say.
 
Granted, I haven't worked out must this last month. I have been busy with work (new system), getting ready for Christmas, Christmas parties and get togethers, and general household duties. I know there should be no excuses. However, when I get up at 5 am and and I don't stop going until 8:30 pm, that is all my body can give. As soon as my butt hits the chair I am asleep. Yesterday, it all caught up to me. Saturday night after our dinner party my head started hurting. I went to bed about 10 with it killing me. Woke of at midnight thinking I was going to have to go to the ER. I got some advil and took some. Woke up at 2 still killing me, but no worse. Again same thing at 5 and 6. I ended up not getting out of bed till noon. After that I felt groggy and like I'd been hit by a freight train. My hubs pointed out that maybe I needed the rest after running at such a rate for the last month and a half.
 
Today I am better, but frustrated. My weight is stalled in the 199-200 zone. I do weight daily, which I know many say don't do, but I track my trends. Since Dec. 2 my weight has been bouncing between 199.2 and 200.8. I have started back counting calories in the last week and my calorie counts daily stay between 1150 and 1300, most days closer to the 1200 mark. My fit bit says I am buring some where around 2000 calories a day so I should be losing around 1 lb a week at the least. But, I'm not. I am staying still.
 
I went to the doctor last week and it appears my thyroid is slightly off. I am going back this week to discuss meds. WTH- my thyroid wasn't off before surgery how the heck is it off now. No more than my thyroid is off my doctor says that shouldn't be causing a weight issue.
 
All this has gotten me down and frustrated and made all my fears resurface. Have I lost all I will loose? Am I destined to always be the fat chick? Can I do this? Am I failing my band? What am I doing wrong? Am I going to gain all my weight back?
 
I am freaking out right now. I want this so bad, but when I am doing what I suppose to (eating less moving more) and not losing I get so discouraged.

If you are anything like me your weight has held you back from enjoying many things.
 
Since childhood I avoided crowds, parties, public to hopefully avoid being picked on. The first time I ever traveled was when I was 22 years old. I went to New Orleans to see my cousin, my first time out of NC/VA and my first time on a plane. Since I have traveled to Vegas, Nashville, and California's Sierras. I love to travel, but some places I still wouldn't go due to my weight- beaches, warm places, where a bathing suit would be expected.
 
I also didn't go into fancy clothing stores, I just got my clothes at walmart. I was afraid of what the sales ladies would think of me walking in a upscale store.
 
Now, I have lost 45 lbs, I am 32 years old and I am sick and tired of not living due to my weight. So even though I have not reached my goal, I am going to LIVE!!!
 
I have always wanted to go to Disney and Seaworld, but never did due to the walking discomfort fear and all the people. Well, I booked the hubs and I a week trip to Disney for April. Mickey here we come!! I plan to do the things I have always wanted to do, not more holding back.
 
It's my time! I don't want to look back 40 years from now with regrets. I considered lapband 10 years ago, but didn't do it because my family wasn't supportive, I wish I would have told them on board or not I am doing it.
 
Next fall we are going back to Louisana (his family is there), maybe New York in the next year. No more holding back and waiting for xyz to take place. I am alive and here now, so I am going to LIVE!

If you are anything like me your weight has held you back from enjoying many things.
 
Since childhood I avoided crowds, parties, public to hopefully avoid being picked on. The first time I ever traveled was when I was 22 years old. I went to New Orleans to see my cousin, my first time out of NC/VA and my first time on a plane. Since I have traveled to Vegas, Nashville, and California's Sierras. I love to travel, but some places I still wouldn't go due to my weight- beaches, warm places, where a bathing suit would be expected.
 
I also didn't go into fancy clothing stores, I just got my clothes at walmart. I was afraid of what the sales ladies would think of me walking in a upscale store.
 
Now, I have lost 45 lbs, I am 32 years old and I am sick and tired of not living due to my weight. So even though I have not reached my goal, I am going to LIVE!!!
 
I have always wanted to go to Disney and Seaworld, but never did due to the walking discomfort fear and all the people. Well, I booked the hubs and I a week trip to Disney for April. Mickey here we come!! I plan to do the things I have always wanted to do, not more holding back.
 
It's my time! I don't want to look back 40 years from now with regrets. I considered lapband 10 years ago, but didn't do it because my family wasn't supportive, I wish I would have told them on board or not I am doing it.
 
Next fall we are going back to Louisana (his family is there), maybe New York in the next year. No more holding back and waiting for xyz to take place. I am alive and here now, so I am going to LIVE!

I think we all either have or will run into bumps in the lapband journey and we will all handle them in our own way.
 
I was banded June 22- the first week of Dec. I hit 199- Onederland- after starting at 244. The month of Nov. I only lost 2 lbs. and I fear Dec will be the same. My doctor says that isn't really a plateau and to not stress about it, easy for his 130 lbs runners body to say.
 
Granted, I haven't worked out must this last month. I have been busy with work (new system), getting ready for Christmas, Christmas parties and get togethers, and general household duties. I know there should be no excuses. However, when I get up at 5 am and and I don't stop going until 8:30 pm, that is all my body can give. As soon as my butt hits the chair I am asleep. Yesterday, it all caught up to me. Saturday night after our dinner party my head started hurting. I went to bed about 10 with it killing me. Woke of at midnight thinking I was going to have to go to the ER. I got some advil and took some. Woke up at 2 still killing me, but no worse. Again same thing at 5 and 6. I ended up not getting out of bed till noon. After that I felt groggy and like I'd been hit by a freight train. My hubs pointed out that maybe I needed the rest after running at such a rate for the last month and a half.
 
Today I am better, but frustrated. My weight is stalled in the 199-200 zone. I do weight daily, which I know many say don't do, but I track my trends. Since Dec. 2 my weight has been bouncing between 199.2 and 200.8. I have started back counting calories in the last week and my calorie counts daily stay between 1150 and 1300, most days closer to the 1200 mark. My fit bit says I am buring some where around 2000 calories a day so I should be losing around 1 lb a week at the least. But, I'm not. I am staying still.
 
I went to the doctor last week and it appears my thyroid is slightly off. I am going back this week to discuss meds. WTH- my thyroid wasn't off before surgery how the heck is it off now. No more than my thyroid is off my doctor says that shouldn't be causing a weight issue.
 
All this has gotten me down and frustrated and made all my fears resurface. Have I lost all I will loose? Am I destined to always be the fat chick? Can I do this? Am I failing my band? What am I doing wrong? Am I going to gain all my weight back?
 
I am freaking out right now. I want this so bad, but when I am doing what I suppose to (eating less moving more) and not losing I get so discouraged.

My mother says I have never been very patient, I was even born a month early.
 
I believe the reason I have never been successful at weight loss was my lack of patience. Most of you can likely sympathize with working really hard to lose weight and after a couple weeks only a pound or half pound and finally you say forget it where is the pizza. This has been the case with me each time.
 
With the band it has been different. My bandversary is Dec. 22 and will be 6 months. As of right now I am 45 lbs down and feeling good. Of course I wish I was down more. I have tried to be realistic in these months and eat healthy, but not totally limit myself from things I love, because I know that isn't possible to do forever. Therefore, I will highly restrict myself with things that I know aren't the best for me.
 
For the last two months though my weight loss has slowed. Last month I only lost 2 lbs and so far this month only 2. I have started back working out and counting my calories to make sure I am using more calories than I am taking in.
 
At one point I had a goal of getting to the 160's by April 1st. My husband and I are taking a trip to Disney, I've never been and my husband hasn't since he was a kid, so we are excited to get away. However, it's Dec. 13th and I am sitting at 199, which is great - finally below 200- but I do not thing it is possible loose 40 lbs in 4 months or rather possible for me. My first month I lost 20 lbs, after that it slowed and my best month since was 8 lbs lost, which was Oct. I do not want to discourage myself my setting a goal that is likely unattainable. So, I have decided that I am going to stay on the lapband path taking one step at the time and I will reach my final goal of 140's when I do- it may be a year from now, but I will get there.
 
I must keep my motivation up and stay strong. During the holidays I must admit I am finding it harder that before. Last night I made 4 batches of snickerdoodle party mix- my hubby had a work Christmas party today and wanted me to make it. So, I made it. I sent him to work with half of it and I bagged up the remainder and gave it to coworkers as gifts - after all if they gain a weight it will just make me look smaller (evil I know- jk). I do not want to tempt myself with treats that are not healthy.
 
For once in my life I want to give my body what it needs rather than what it wants!!

My mother says I have never been very patient, I was even born a month early.
 
I believe the reason I have never been successful at weight loss was my lack of patience. Most of you can likely sympathize with working really hard to lose weight and after a couple weeks only a pound or half pound and finally you say forget it where is the pizza. This has been the case with me each time.
 
With the band it has been different. My bandversary is Dec. 22 and will be 6 months. As of right now I am 45 lbs down and feeling good. Of course I wish I was down more. I have tried to be realistic in these months and eat healthy, but not totally limit myself from things I love, because I know that isn't possible to do forever. Therefore, I will highly restrict myself with things that I know aren't the best for me.
 
For the last two months though my weight loss has slowed. Last month I only lost 2 lbs and so far this month only 2. I have started back working out and counting my calories to make sure I am using more calories than I am taking in.
 
At one point I had a goal of getting to the 160's by April 1st. My husband and I are taking a trip to Disney, I've never been and my husband hasn't since he was a kid, so we are excited to get away. However, it's Dec. 13th and I am sitting at 199, which is great - finally below 200- but I do not thing it is possible loose 40 lbs in 4 months or rather possible for me. My first month I lost 20 lbs, after that it slowed and my best month since was 8 lbs lost, which was Oct. I do not want to discourage myself my setting a goal that is likely unattainable. So, I have decided that I am going to stay on the lapband path taking one step at the time and I will reach my final goal of 140's when I do- it may be a year from now, but I will get there.
 
I must keep my motivation up and stay strong. During the holidays I must admit I am finding it harder that before. Last night I made 4 batches of snickerdoodle party mix- my hubby had a work Christmas party today and wanted me to make it. So, I made it. I sent him to work with half of it and I bagged up the remainder and gave it to coworkers as gifts - after all if they gain a weight it will just make me look smaller (evil I know- jk). I do not want to tempt myself with treats that are not healthy.
 
For once in my life I want to give my body what it needs rather than what it wants!!

When we are little we believe that anything is possible-- santa can visit every house in one night, the tooth fairy brings us money for our teeth, the Easter bunny, ect. As little kids we see the world full of wonderful possibilities just waiting for us.
 
However, as we grow we begin to loose the rose colored glasses and become jaded by the reality of the world we live in. Happily ever after doesn't exist and things aren't always perfect- now I am not say things can't be good because they can be, but not every moment of every day and not every relationship is perfect all the time.
 
As a kid I never imagined I would become so large. I was so small until I turned 5. As I began to gain weight I would ask my mom sometimes why I was fat. She would just say I would grow out of it, after all my cousin did. I accepted that and went on. Well puberty came and went as did the teen years and I was still fat. I never grew out of it. What I didn't know is that my cousin put forth a great deal of effort in her preteens to shed the weight- all I knew was that she went from fat to skinny in what seemed like a summer and became a beautiful girl. That wasn't to be my story.
 
Now that I have admitted that I have a food problem and needed help, got banded and begun my journey- it is hard to belive I will ever reach my goal. The first 5 months the weight seemed to fly off 45 lbs- awesome, but now the loss has slowed almost plateaued and I find myself begining to worry that I may never reach my elusive dream weight (140).
 
I know that I should believe in myself, my band, my doctor and nutritionist, but it's hard when every other attempt I have made to loose weight has failed. Realistically I know it is different this time, I am not on a diet with a fixed end date, I am changing my life style one day at a time. I am making new habits, healthy ones that in time I hope will stick. Some things have been easy like giving up pop (soda), not drinking with meals, drinking water, even eating less at a meal. Some things though haven't been as easy, letting go of my salty snack of party mix (that stuff is addictive and it is my major weakness), not baking so I won't eat the sweets, not eating steak (just doesn't work well with my band).
 
Slowly, but surely I am making a change to a better way of life that in time hopefully will become habit. However, there is still that little voice of insecurity in the back of my head saying you won't do it, you will gain all that weight back, you are destine to be a fat girl forever (insert menacing laugh here)!! I fight every day to squash that voice and to believe that I will make it. After all I have lost 45 lbs and I am moving more and eating less.
 
So for now I am going to keep saying I believe in me, until I do!!

I went to school for and hold a degree in addiction counseling. You would think someone who has taken these classes, learned ways to help clients cope and recover from addiction could herself fight her own addiction.
 
Just like the difficulty people have admitting they are addicted to drugs and alcohol I had difficulty admitting I was addicted to food. Just like people who abuse drugs and alcohol try to validate their addiction I have tried to validate mine. But, the truth is an addiction is an addiction and there is validation for it, it is a problem that must be overcome in order for us to become a better more effective person.
 
I have been over weight since I was 5 years old. Before that I was very thin and tiny- everyone always talked about how cute I was. Then the month before I started school the pounds started packing on. Apparently this was the start of my emotional eating and it never went away. As each year progressed my waist line expanded. By high school I was wearing size 22 jeans and was picked on all the time. My self esteem was low and I spent a lot of time alone- the only lead to more eating. I would frequently eat behind my families back so they wouldn't know how much I consumed and then tried to block it from my mind.
 
As a senior in high school I had an accident that required surgery and then months of physical therapy. During that time I lost weight- down to 201 and a size 18. I remained at that size until the last 2 years when my weight balloned up to 247 and I knew something had to change.
 
5 high school friends have had some type of weight loss surgery with varying degrees of success, but all have managed to loose weight and keep it off. I decided that maybe this is what I needed to get control of my addiction.
 
Likely if I could have controlled my addiction I could have lost weight without the surgery, but I couldn't. I was a slave to food.
 
June 22, 2012 I had my lapband put in. The first week was hell - I felt like crap the entire time. Once I was back on mushy food I started to feel better and gain energy back. I began working out and counting calories and did great. I really felt like I had things under control.
 
In October my Grandmother passed away after a long illness. She was one of my best friends and always someone I could count on. During that time I stopped counting calories due to being away from home, eating things I didn't prepare, and not being where I could get on the internet (my family lives deep in the country of Virgina) and I also stopped working out. When I got back home I though surely I had gained - well low and behold I had lost 3 lbs- WOW. In my screwed up mind this gave me permission to stop working out and counting calories. I know- WRONG thing to do. However, I have continue to lose steadily, but I know this is not a good way to do things. I do move more to burn more calories since getting my fitbit, but I know that can't take the place of the workouts I was doing.
 
This passed weekend I had my first of serveral Christmas parties. I did pretty well, I help my portions down and ate only two cookies (my mom's homemade Christmas cookies - they are small tea cakes). My BFF's mom brought her homemade party mix and gave me a bag to go home. Here is the problem, this party mix for me is like putting a bottle of beer in front of an alcoholic. I love it- so yummy. She gave me a gallon zip lock bag of it. I brought it home and told myself I would only eat one handful a day. Well, it's been 3 days and half the bag is gone. I screwed up!!!!!
 
The salt content alone in this stuff had increase my water retention- I have gained 3 lbs since Sunday- which isn't possible since I am not eating much. (the party mix has been my breakfast and my snacks) I feel like my face is puffy- I know I am retaining.
 
I feel like crap, I can't believe I allowed myself to fall back in to a pattern that is negative. There are so many awesome people on this site who have been so strong and wonderful since surgery and are kicking butt. Why the hell did I think I could allow myself to do this and not have a negitive consequence- insanity.
 
So, today, I am back on the game. I am going to be accountable to myself. Back to counting calories, back to the workouts, back to eating only what I need to live. The party mix as much as it pains me, but go to the garbage.
 
This morning, I have had a Slim fast protein shake (not bad 180 calories and 20 grams of protein and taste like a yohoo). To my suprise I drink it two hours ago and I am not hungry. Now that I have retriction maybe I can do the shakes for breakfast. This afternoon I will get on my elliptical for 30 min. I WILL get back on track. I will not allow insanity to set in.
 
To those of you who have been my support and encouraged me thank you and I am sorry for allowing my old ways to creep in. Thankfully, I didn't allow them to hang around long enough to do any major damage.
 
Today I admit that I am an addict and I can not do this alone. I must be accountable to myself and others.

My mother in law and sister in law came be spend Thanksgiving with my husband and I. My mother-in-law had called last week and said she wanted to take me shopping to get some clothes that fit. Considering she has never done anything for me in the 5 years I have been with her son, I was shocked.
 
On Friday us girls decided to hit the mall about 5pm. Being a big girl I have always gotten clothes from Walmart, Belk, place like that where I could hit a sale and get them cheap. Like it really matters what you put on a hippo- it's still a hippo- that is how I felt.
 
Well my SIL said I need to go to Talbots. I had never been there. When we walked in they were busy and the sales girl was so helpful. My MIL told her I had lost 50 lbs and needed some clothes and that price wasn't an option- WOW. She told me to find something nice. The sales girl said she herself had lost 100 lbs in the last few years and she knew what I was going through- she looks like a stick now, amazing transformation. She was helpful picking out clothes that I would have never before tried.
 
By the time I finished I had one pair of pants and 3 tops. The pants were Women's Petite 14- WOW, I never remember wearing a 14. The clothes fit me perfect, like they were made for my body.
 
What a difference the right cut and fit can make. I looked at myself in the mirror and was able to smile and was happy with how I looked- wow. Feeling like you look good does give you confidence and a spunk in your step.
 
The next day I wore one of my new outfits and my hubs was like wow you look hot. I was so excited. With that and the new earrings my MIL purchased for me at Swarski crystals I felt like I was Julia Roberts in the Pretty Women except for the hooker thing.
 
I will be visting that Talbots again for sure!!!
 
Anyone who lives near Raleigh, NC - I totally recommend going to Talbots at Southpoint Mall- awesome staff!

I have touched on this before but I want to talk about it more.
 
I got a fitbit a few weeks ago and realized how lazy I was.
 
Since then I have tried to increase my steps and general movement daily to burn more calories and here is what I have done:
 
@ work
I walk to other offices when I need to talk to someone rather than calling.
I take the long way to the bathroom and break room to get my snacks or lunch.
Instead of rolling my chair I get up and walk to get things in my office.
I fidget- shake my legs, stand when on the phone
 
@ a store
I park further away (ok unless it's raining- I don't like being wet)
Walk as fast as I can between sections I need to go to or take the long way around the store.
 
@ home
Again take the long way to the potty or kitchen
We have our master on the first floor, but I go upstairs everyday to check it (I have pets)
I work out when I have time (busy time of year- have gifts to wrap)
When I sit down to watch a fav show (like NCIS) I pick up my hand weights and use them while I watch or during commercials.
Dance around the kitchen while cooking (the hubs just loves this- I find him watching from the door laughing)
Dance in the shower while washing my hair
Pace when on the phone
I park my car in the garage and walk back to the mail box rather than stopping at the mail box.
Play with my dog (tug of war kills my arms - she is STRONG)
 
 
All these things add up to more calories burned and they put me in a better mood. I mean who won't laugh at themselves when they are dancing in the kitchen to Christmas carols or dancing in the shower. I feel better and am happier on the days I do these things.
 
We all can increase our movement in some way even if we can't workout. As you do more movement the easier it gets to move and the more you can do and it turns into a wonderful cycle.
 
So do it - MOVE!

I have touched on this before but I want to talk about it more.
 
I got a fitbit a few weeks ago and realized how lazy I was.
 
Since then I have tried to increase my steps and general movement daily to burn more calories and here is what I have done:
 
@ work
I walk to other offices when I need to talk to someone rather than calling.
I take the long way to the bathroom and break room to get my snacks or lunch.
Instead of rolling my chair I get up and walk to get things in my office.
I fidget- shake my legs, stand when on the phone
 
@ a store
I park further away (ok unless it's raining- I don't like being wet)
Walk as fast as I can between sections I need to go to or take the long way around the store.
 
@ home
Again take the long way to the potty or kitchen
We have our master on the first floor, but I go upstairs everyday to check it (I have pets)
I work out when I have time (busy time of year- have gifts to wrap)
When I sit down to watch a fav show (like NCIS) I pick up my hand weights and use them while I watch or during commercials.
Dance around the kitchen while cooking (the hubs just loves this- I find him watching from the door laughing)
Dance in the shower while washing my hair
Pace when on the phone
I park my car in the garage and walk back to the mail box rather than stopping at the mail box.
Play with my dog (tug of war kills my arms - she is STRONG)
 
 
All these things add up to more calories burned and they put me in a better mood. I mean who won't laugh at themselves when they are dancing in the kitchen to Christmas carols or dancing in the shower. I feel better and am happier on the days I do these things.
 
We all can increase our movement in some way even if we can't workout. As you do more movement the easier it gets to move and the more you can do and it turns into a wonderful cycle.
 
So do it - MOVE!

I have touched on this before but I want to talk about it more.
 
I got a fitbit a few weeks ago and realized how lazy I was.
 
Since then I have tried to increase my steps and general movement daily to burn more calories and here is what I have done:
 
@ work
I walk to other offices when I need to talk to someone rather than calling.
I take the long way to the bathroom and break room to get my snacks or lunch.
Instead of rolling my chair I get up and walk to get things in my office.
I fidget- shake my legs, stand when on the phone
 
@ a store
I park further away (ok unless it's raining- I don't like being wet)
Walk as fast as I can between sections I need to go to or take the long way around the store.
 
@ home
Again take the long way to the potty or kitchen
We have our master on the first floor, but I go upstairs everyday to check it (I have pets)
I work out when I have time (busy time of year- have gifts to wrap)
When I sit down to watch a fav show (like NCIS) I pick up my hand weights and use them while I watch or during commercials.
Dance around the kitchen while cooking (the hubs just loves this- I find him watching from the door laughing)
Dance in the shower while washing my hair
Pace when on the phone
I park my car in the garage and walk back to the mail box rather than stopping at the mail box.
Play with my dog (tug of war kills my arms - she is STRONG)
 
 
All these things add up to more calories burned and they put me in a better mood. I mean who won't laugh at themselves when they are dancing in the kitchen to Christmas carols or dancing in the shower. I feel better and am happier on the days I do these things.
 
We all can increase our movement in some way even if we can't workout. As you do more movement the easier it gets to move and the more you can do and it turns into a wonderful cycle.
 
So do it - MOVE!

I have been on this site for 5 months and have noticed that post can sometimes get a little heated. I sometime get heated - when someone tells me I am doing wrong.
 
Well, if I am doing wrong them it's because my surgeon told me to. I have met with and emailed my nutrtionist with every question I have had to make sure I am on track. I go to my surgeon monthly for a fill and discussion about my progress.
 
From June 22, 2012 until Dec. 2, 2012 I have gone from 244 lbs to 199! I have gone from wearing a 20/22 to a 14/16. Obviously, I am not do that much wrong because I am losing lbs and inches. I eat healthy, good foods - do I ever eat something that would be considered unhealthy- yes, but not daily and not even weekly. I talked it over with my doctor and nutritionist and both said do not totally deprive myself, but limit. Guess what I want to lose so I limit!!!! When I am dying for a cupcake when I am pmsing I go get ONE cupcake and eat it- no more, some times it's only 2 bits and the hubs finishes it. It took my craving away and did not drive me to ruin.
 
I appreciate all the hard core banders who can preach ya da ya da is the end all be all and if you aren't living banded this way then you are wrong. I am sorry, but get off your high hourse and build a bridge, if you are not a bariatric specialist then do not tell me how I should live banded life. When I answer questions I answer from my perspective, from what my doctor has told me, I do not tell people they must take my advice I just put it out there rather than trying to choke them on it.
 
I have an excellent line of communication going with my team doctors (family doc and surgeon) and my nutritionist to make sure I am doing what I am suppose to and getting the right result in a healthy way. Last month I hit a plateau and didn't move for a month. My surgeon sat me down and told me to calm down, the month before I had lost 8lbs, he said likely my body was taking a break, that unless the plateau last 3 months to just breath and stick to the plan. Well in a few days I was headed down and hit 199.
 
Bottom line is we are all on a journey, each journey will present with different pot holes, curves and hills - it is up to us to seek guidance from our professional team to know how we need to navaigate those issues. On here people need support and need to know how your journey is going - the way you got around your curve may be different from who someone else gets around theres.
 
Tough love is needed- if a person admits to eating crap and gaining the yes it is there fault they are gaining. But until the facts are known please do not just down a person throat.

Sunday I finally saw something I had been waiting years to see....199.2 on the scale. I was so excited to finally be below the 200 mark, which I am sure most of you can understand. Flash forward to this morning 201.8 - the wonderful water weight gain.
 
When I woke up this morning I knew instantly I was retaining. My eyes and face were puffy, my hands felt tight. According to by BC pill pack next week is my TOM. Even though I haven't had a period since surgery (no, not pregnant) I still have the water weight gain and the wonderful moods.
 
Right now I ache, my back hurts, my face hurts - how in the world did I manage to pack on that much water over night? By band is NOT happy about this- I barely got my special K down this morning. Frankly, I am getting reflux from my water this morning. So it's all liquids today until this water gets out of me.
 
Anyone got any ideas how to flush the water out aside from fluid pills? I don't like being Puff the not so magic dragon.

I have been on this site for 5 months and have noticed that post can sometimes get a little heated. I sometime get heated - when someone tells me I am doing wrong.
 
Well, if I am doing wrong them it's because my surgeon told me to. I have met with and emailed my nutrtionist with every question I have had to make sure I am on track. I go to my surgeon monthly for a fill and discussion about my progress.
 
From June 22, 2012 until Dec. 2, 2012 I have gone from 244 lbs to 199! I have gone from wearing a 20/22 to a 14/16. Obviously, I am not do that much wrong because I am losing lbs and inches. I eat healthy, good foods - do I ever eat something that would be considered unhealthy- yes, but not daily and not even weekly. I talked it over with my doctor and nutritionist and both said do not totally deprive myself, but limit. Guess what I want to lose so I limit!!!! When I am dying for a cupcake when I am pmsing I go get ONE cupcake and eat it- no more, some times it's only 2 bits and the hubs finishes it. It took my craving away and did not drive me to ruin.
 
I appreciate all the hard core banders who can preach ya da ya da is the end all be all and if you aren't living banded this way then you are wrong. I am sorry, but get off your high hourse and build a bridge, if you are not a bariatric specialist then do not tell me how I should live banded life. When I answer questions I answer from my perspective, from what my doctor has told me, I do not tell people they must take my advice I just put it out there rather than trying to choke them on it.
 
I have an excellent line of communication going with my team doctors (family doc and surgeon) and my nutritionist to make sure I am doing what I am suppose to and getting the right result in a healthy way. Last month I hit a plateau and didn't move for a month. My surgeon sat me down and told me to calm down, the month before I had lost 8lbs, he said likely my body was taking a break, that unless the plateau last 3 months to just breath and stick to the plan. Well in a few days I was headed down and hit 199.
 
Bottom line is we are all on a journey, each journey will present with different pot holes, curves and hills - it is up to us to seek guidance from our professional team to know how we need to navaigate those issues. On here people need support and need to know how your journey is going - the way you got around your curve may be different from who someone else gets around theres.
 
Tough love is needed- if a person admits to eating crap and gaining the yes it is there fault they are gaining. But until the facts are known please do not just down a person throat.

I was banded June 22, 2012. I have lost 45 lbs, as of Sunday morning Dec. 2nd I have reached my first major goal- 199!!! Onederland!!! I can't believe it!
 
I had be stuck on 201 for most of November and felt like I would never get below 200. I had a fill on Thursday that I feel like got me to the green zone. My band had major restriction, I really have to pay attention to how I eat now. I don't get hungry often and it takes a cup or LESS to get me full- WOW!
 
When I hit 199 I was so excited, I got on the scales 5 or 6 times just to be sure. Yep, 199.2. This morning my husband ask me what my next major goal was, since this had been my goal since surgery. I was at a loss, in my dream I wanted to get to the 140's, but was never really sure I'd reach that. Now that I have hit my first major goal, my mind is reeling- where do I go from here. What is possible? I feel more confident now that the 140's is possible, but realistically it's far off, so my next goal is 175!
 
This journey isn't always easy, but it is always worth it. Having people tell me I look great. Finally being below 200, which I don't really remember being ever. I feel fairly sure I was childhood, but never during my teens was I below 200.
 
With my last feel getting me to retriction and my finally hitting 199 I am feeling renewed and motivated to kick this journey into the next gear.
 
Never in my life have I so enjoyed laying my fork down before my plate is clean- now that is a satisfied feeling!

I was banded June 22, 2012. I have lost 45 lbs, as of Sunday morning Dec. 2nd I have reached my first major goal- 199!!! Onederland!!! I can't believe it!
 
I had be stuck on 201 for most of November and felt like I would never get below 200. I had a fill on Thursday that I feel like got me to the green zone. My band had major restriction, I really have to pay attention to how I eat now. I don't get hungry often and it takes a cup or LESS to get me full- WOW!
 
When I hit 199 I was so excited, I got on the scales 5 or 6 times just to be sure. Yep, 199.2. This morning my husband ask me what my next major goal was, since this had been my goal since surgery. I was at a loss, in my dream I wanted to get to the 140's, but was never really sure I'd reach that. Now that I have hit my first major goal, my mind is reeling- where do I go from here. What is possible? I feel more confident now that the 140's is possible, but realistically it's far off, so my next goal is 175!
 
This journey isn't always easy, but it is always worth it. Having people tell me I look great. Finally being below 200, which I don't really remember being ever. I feel fairly sure I was childhood, but never during my teens was I below 200.
 
With my last feel getting me to retriction and my finally hitting 199 I am feeling renewed and motivated to kick this journey into the next gear.
 
Never in my life have I so enjoyed laying my fork down before my plate is clean- now that is a satisfied feeling!

I always a fairly active person. I would go to work, if I needed to talk to someone in my building I walked to them instead of calling. I came home and stayed moving until after dinner. I thought I did good.
 
Well......
 
My MIL came over Thanksgiving and one of my gifts was a Fitbit One. After figuring out how to use the little sucker I realized- damn I've been lazy. The first day I was shocked at the results. That is all the calories burned, that is all the steps I took, that is my active score- WTH.
 
Since the first day with it I have found myself looking for ways to increase steps- I park further away from stores, between projects at work I get up and walk around the office circle. I stand up and sit down to get things rather than rolling my chair, I stand and pace while on the phone- all of these things helped me increase my steps and calories burned. I know you may think oh just a little bit won't matter, but hey gotta start somewhere and every calorie burned is not going to hang on my hips. It has really opened my eyes to reality.
 
Reality- I think that is something each of us in order to be successful need to find - the reality of who we are.
 
We got fat by not thinking, mindlessly eating crap. Now that we have a tool inside of us, it's time to be realistic. You can fail the band- you can drink milkshakes other high cal things and gain or you can be realistic and look at what you are actually putting in your body. I love food, we all do that is why we got here, but the reality of it we can still eat good food and lose weight.
 
Yesterday I went for my 5th fill and saw the doctor who operated on me (normally I see his wondeful assistant- also a surgeon). He looked at my band under floro gave me a little fill and told me this may do it- get me to the green zone. He said everything looked perfect and I was doing great. Well today, I know I got that fill. I am tight, but not to much, it's just right. A cup full of food is either perfect or to much. There is no way in hell I can over eat when eating real food (not sliders) with out tossing it all back up.
 
This is a great feeling. I feel motivated and encouraged after being down about my plateau. Plus I finally dropped below 201 this morning after being at that for a month- 200.6 - 7 oz until ONDERLAND!!!
 
Basically, what I am saying is, we ALL can do this, we ALL CAN lose weight, but we must be realistic with ourselves and our support group (family, doctors, nutritionist). We must make a choice to do what is right- to eat healthy.

If you have ever been around a kid for more than 5 min I am sure you have heard them say why at least twice. I was always the kid who ask why, it just does never worked on me, drove my mom nuts!
 
Well I am still like that, I always want to know why. Since having surgery I am reading about nutrition and fitness all the time, to find out how and why my body works with food.
 
One article I read said a calorie is a calorie and should be counted, while yes that is true, it isn't the whole picture. We all have heard and been told 200 calories from chicken is better than 200 calories of ice cream. But why is that if a calorie is a calorie?
 
Well here is what I have figured out.....
We need our protein and fiber- it helps us stay full longer. Some say hey ice cream has protein- I'll eat that, but that is where we need to know more.
 
One of the best things I have learned is I can make my food work for me!! How awesome is that!
 
When we eat foods high in protein, fiber and complex carbs our bodies must work harder to digest them, therefore, our bodies will will burn more calories digesting them. While I guess I knew this, it never really dinged until I read an article about that.
 
When I did WW years ago things like fruit and veggies were hardly any points, yet they do have calories. However, your body must work harder to digest them therefore their calorie counts are almost null and in the case of veggies like Celery it is null.
 
So now what do I do with this information.....
 
Well, I am all about what I eat working for me rather than sticking to my hips. I am upping my fiber, making sure the carbs I take in are complex, and making sure I get my recommended protein in. I can still eat yummy food and things I love and lose weight. Yes, I will have to adjust.
 
I highly recommend going to your favorite resturants website and looking at the nutrition part. Some like Wendy's and Burger King you can adjust the meal to see what calorie counts would be. It is amazing what just leaving off cheese or mayo can do for lowering the calories. Now I AM NOT saying eat fast food daily, but what I am saying is if you are craving that whopper - go get it, but adjust it- leave off the mayo, cheese and pickle and the calorie count will come down nicely.
 
We (I) got to be obese by eating what I wanted and not paying attention to what I was putting in my body, but with a little nutrition knowlege we and ADJUST ourselves and our food to work for us.
 
Holding up my water bottle..... Here's to Success!