Harrier's Woman

Its been over a year for me and i am at my goal weight!!!!! i had my band placed in December 2011. The one thing i can say that I dont like is the amount of food I throw away!!!!! I try to put it in the fridge and save it, but I usually dont end up going back for it....and end up throwing it away...But it seems like the weight that i lost my husband found!
 
I love the fact that he starts to get a little jealous when i go to work, shopping, or anywhere because he can even see the difference now...I went to get more scrubs/uniforms for work because im in the medical field ...and Im in a medium and its LOOSE!
 
But i can honestly say for me anyway is that I set a goal weight got there and then say ok 5 more lbs ok now 8 more lbs...and keep wanting to go on and on....but my man loves curves ....cant lose too much!

The band continues to amaze me. I am down 2 lbs since last week and I haven't even been trying. Granted I am not eating recklessly or anything but I have been eating normal (for bandsters) portions which I don't have to measure anymore thanks to 26 months of practice.... But I had a few bites of cheese cake for my birthday and ate out alot this week due to a busy social week....and I was sure I would have gained a lb or 2 ... And I actually lost 2 lbs. the band is doing exactly what I hoped it would do!!

Two months ago my doctor said as far as they were concerned I was at goal, 175 lbs. I was happy with that and started onto the maintenance stage of my journey.
 
Last month I gained 2 lbs, first time I had a gain but hey holidays. Doctor’s office was still very pleased and said that my weight will vary like that on maintenance.
 
Then a dear friend here on LBT put out a challenge “100 miles in January”. Walk or run 100 miles during the month of January. I was in! I needed something to get me moving more. I reached the 100 miles on Monday; my total should be around 120 miles for the month. (go me!)
 
Today I went back to the doctor, weighed 171! (lost 6 pounds in 4 weeks) I haven’t seen that much loss since the beginning months of this journey. So, what did I do different? My eating was the same as it has always been 1200 calories a day, etc…. The only thing different is the increased walking for the challenge.
 
I am so happy with myself. I couldn’t ask for anything more. Okay, maybe a tummy tuck and….. Well guess I could ask for more.
 
I love & respect my band. Yellow rose you serve me well, thank you!

Personal observation. There is so much data that can prove why you shouldn't get the band as much as there is data on why you should. I really feel sad for people who hate bypass patients, or sleeve patients who hate the band. Whatever "camp" you're in, stop spending all this energy being angry at other camps and heal that hurt inside.
 
Life is precious. Anger is a wasteful emotion.

"You're only nineteen."
"You don't need to have surgery."
"Losing weight isn't impossible. If I can do it, anyone can."
"How is it even possible to not lose weight."  
Sometimes not everyone understands another's decisions. Which is totally rational. Not one person has gone through the same thing as another. In my eyes that gives no one person grounds to judge another person on their decisions.
 
I am nineteen. This is true. But what makes my surgery so much more taboo than another person's surgery? What makes my surgery different that a girl my age getting a boob job, or a nose job? I can't do something to benefit my health, and my over all apperance? To create something better for myself; No matter what the cost.
 
I understand why people believe I shouldn't get this surgery. I get it. I'm young. But the great thing is that I am having a procedure done, early on in my life, that will teach me about the lifestyle change I have to make. In order for me to live a healthy, happy life I believe that I need to have this done. Not only because I know I will be more confident, but I will be able to step away from being a prediabetic as well as my sleep apnea.
 
I used to dream, as a little girl, of what it would be like to feel pretty. To be comfortable. To walk around in my own skin and not feel like I was disgusting. Somedays I didn't want to leave the house. I felt repulsive. I felt like it would be better for the world, and myself if I just didn't go to class that day. No one would have to look at me, and I wouldn't have to look at everyone else...looking at me. For whatever reason. I know that this deicision is the best thing I could do for myself. I know that because I am young, I can change my whole life because of this. And I'm excited for it. I am excited for the new me. I deserve it.
 
My surgery date is October 10, 2012.
I am so unbelieveably excited to start my life.

So today I had my pre-op appointment at the hospital. All and all it went well, had a really nice nurse who I know will take really good care of me after surgery. Had the usual blood taken and signed paperwork. Also had to have a chest x-ray done. Got the low-down from the nurse about where to go, what to expect, and what my well wishers are to do while I am in surgery. I have to admit I was really pretty nervous sitting in the hospital, I guess just ready for this to happen.
 
After that I went to the surgeon's office to turn in my food logs and meet with the dietitian (who is very skinny). I started my pre-op diet per their orders on 8/27, but I didn't get weighed by them until 8/28. I had already lost 2 lbs by the time I got there on 8/28, but since my "official" weight was at their office I didn't get those 2 lbs credited to me. Anyways today according to them I was just down 10 lbs (my count is 12 lbs). The dietitian told me that neither the surgeon or the nurse practitioner would be very happy with only losing 10 lbs. True results told me that I had to lose at least 10. Yes I know, I am going to lose a few more before surgery and in the weight loss game, more lost the better, but I just felt defeated. I felt like if they expected more than they should have told me from the get go. But then again, I have been doing really pretty well on the diet. Then she threatened me with my current biggest fear...my liver might not be small enough!! I nearly cried. I am just about convinced this is a scare tactic, I am just going to have faith that my diligent diet will pay off and my liver will be tinny tiny come surgery. Kinda a non scale victory, normally after a meeting like I had today at the surgeon's office, I would have ran to the nearest McDonalds and although I wanted to really bad, I didn't. Woo hoo!!
 
I have mentioned these super yummy shakes, Pure Protein with 35g of protein, they taste amazing!! Well I asked her about them, they have milk protein concentrate instead of whey protein. She said that I was to have ZERO dairy until after surgery and that might have been why I saw such a sluggish response this weekend. But previously I had consulted one of my trainer friends who said that there wasn't much difference with the proteins. However, I had a feeling on Monday those shakes might have been hurting me, so I had switched back to whey. I bought their Barriatric Advantage shakes today, which were not cheap, but they have like 27g of protein in them. I got the banana flavor, (DYING for a banana) and it was really good.
 
This morning I did not eat (eat = have shake) as I was in a hurry and didn't want the extra "weight," for the scale. I didn't have my first shake until I got to work at about 1:30 p.m. I know, I know, bad for my metabolism. I never have the 2nd shake, just had grilled chicken and salad for dinner. Now its all I can think about it wanting to eat anything and everything. I am currently drinking a big glass of water and chewing gum. Have to get my mind off of this.
 
Anyways, I am extra motivated this week to be extra good on my diet. I will drop those 6 lbs and prove to that dietitian that I can do it and that I have a skinny liver. Makes me wonder what HER liver looks like. LOL. Tomorrow I fly to Dallas after work. I am going to dinner with my BFF, must eat chicken or fish. Then Sunday I am driving my mom and her 3 dogs down to Houston. They will be staying with me until Thursday. I can't believe that my surgery is that close, seems like just yesterday I was on my 3rd appointment for my weight loss monitoring.
 
I am a work-a- holic and haven't taken a whole week off of work in a long time. So I must get to bed, because I will be up at work early tomorrow to cram in everything I have to get done before I leave. I will be in the office Monday until 0900 but that is only to do payroll. So must cram cram cram!! I fully plan on finishing the edits on my first novel while I am "laid" up and working on my second and keeping my work phone turned off!!
 
Anyways, sorry tonight was about 90% rambles. Just a jittery mess.
 
Until tomorrow,
 
Amanda