Iava

Hi, I am sorry you are having these issues with your Mother. I too have issues like this. Only my mom puts me down in front of my children and my friends. I am recently divorced and 42 years old. She insists on bringing over groceries to my house, even when I tell her we are fine. God forbid we eat Hamburger Helper once in a while or just have Soup and Sandwiches or even a Breakfast night for dinner. Then she tells the entire family how broke she is because she has to help me out, which then creates conflict between me and my family, even though they know that I have plenty of food. She will buy prime rib and I just feel it's so insulting to me as a mother. The one thing that my divorce didn't strip me of was my pride in being a good mother and making the right choices for my children and putting them first. She's come to my house and threatened my neighbors that she'd call DCF on them if they came around me. She will come over and pound on my front door if again "God forbid"- I took a nap and didn't answer the phone. My kids are 10 and 17. Not like they are babies and I can't take an hour nap once in a while. She will complain my home isn't **** and span. My house is the "go to" house for all the kids friends and the neighbors kids. I always have my kids plus some extra hanging out. So, no my house isn't perfect, but it's clean and a bit cluttered. I love her to pieces. I believe she has some unresolved issues of her own that she projects onto me. I have told her that as nice as I can, but I am not sure she is aware of it. Now back to if you should stick it out. I can't tell you what to do, but If it were me, I would call her and tell her you love her, but you can't have her speaking to me or my child like that. I would tell her how I feel. I would tell her the consequences of her continuing on her relationship destruction habit. I would let her know that I am a good mom and I am protecting my child. Before demanding an apology, I would wait to see if she gives one on her own. If she doesn't then let her know that I am an adult and I would like to have an apology and her word that she won't talk to me or my child that way again. You know your mom better than anyone. Don't doubt yourself in this matter. I hope this all works out for you. And you aren't alone!

Hi. I am new on here. I just wanted to introduce myself and ask a few questions. First, I was banded back in fall 2007. My surgery was supposed to be outpatient, but I ended up with severe complications from the "gas" pains and was in for 5 days. I have read so many success stories. It's really nice to see. I have had some success of losing and keeping the weight off, but no where near my goal. I experienced vomiting up to 10 times a day almost every day since my surgery. I really feel my surgery went wrong and my band was never secured or in the correct place. I did bring that up to my Dr. on several occasions and even had him meet me at his office on a holiday weekend to take out the "fill". I have not had a "fill" since Oct. 2008. When filled, I couldn't even keep down Water. Without the fill I can keep water down, but no healthy amount of food without feeling stuck. Two weeks ago I went to the ER I was vomiting violently and couldn't even hold down water. They xrayed my stomach and said they didn't see anything wrong and diagnosed me with Gastritis (stomach flu). I wasn't happy with the answer because it didn't feel right and I am not even sure this particular ER had any experience with the lap band to know if it was in place properly or not. I did a follow up with my own family Dr., as I am uninsured and unemployed and can't afford the payments for all the specialists. My Dr. then diagnosed me with Candida or Strep- either way they said it would be cured with antibiotics. I am finishing my 3rd week of antibiotics and they gave me prilosec. Today was the first day I was able to get back into my old jeans that I was able to wear a year after surgery. Today was also the very first time that I was able to consume food without having that stuck feeling. I didn't realize it until tonight that I haven't vomited in 2 full days, haven't felt stuck. I ate 1/3 of a very small steak and some mashed potatoes (6 small bites) I know I should have had the broccoli, but it felt good. I was full, but not stuck!!!! Finally. I hope that just with me being ill 3 weeks ago maybe it readjusted my band? Perhaps even pulled it off entirely, not really sure and have no answers. Anyone else have any complications like I had? I followed the plan the first few months very strictly. After 3 months I learned to just either not eat at all until late in the day or to just eat what I could hold down, either Soups or very cold things like frozen yogurt. But after years of suffering from vomiting, I had to go back to eating regular foods- I just would vomit it back up. I feel pretty good today too. I have SLE Lupus with Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia. So, I am used to not feeling great all the time. I hope that this can be a new beginning for me. I want to stick by good healthy choices and continue on to see my success hopefully fall into place with hard work and determination. I have never been to a support group or meeting. So, I really don't know what to expect. Sorry this is so long. I will leave it at that. Thank you for taking time to read it. I will be reading and following as many posts as I can as well.

That sounds really good. I found that things with "strings or hard to chew veggies" like mushrooms, snow peas, string beans were harder than broccoli, carrots and squash.

I didn't know what to call it, but when I explained it to my dr. I said it was almost like a burp, but all my food came up, sometimes it would be a few hours, sometimes within minutes. I didn't have the violent vomiting until a few weeks ago. I go to my primary care dr. He's the only one I can afford right now. During the last 4 years on top of being sick, my husband left me (20 years married). I lost all my companies during the Real Estate market crash. My home was in foreclosure. I was diagnosed with the lupus during that time and the amount of child support and alimony barely covered my current bills. So, seeing the bariatric doctor was impossible.

Thank you. My family agree's with you and that is their suspicions too. At the time of surgery I did talk with the Dr. about my fibromyalgia and that my mother, two Aunts and two cousins have Lupus. Knowing that it runs in families and the Fibromyalgia is a contraindication. He said it was fine. No problem, I could still have the surgery and would be fine. It's on my paperwork- on my application where it asks you to fill out the form. Not sure if our discussion is written out on his notes, but it is on my paperwork. It was a concern of mine at the time. But, if you can't trust your Dr. who can you trust? Also, I was supposed to have surgery at 8am, being the first patient. The dr. didn't even arrive at the hospital until 7pm and started my surgery at 8pm (so I laid on a hard bed -one intended for exams only for 12 hours) I woke up during the surgery, which was scary and had woke up with severe gas pains in my shoulder - Stabbing pains for 5 days. I didn't sleep, didn't eat and only drank a few sips of Clear liquids. I waited for my morphine shots every 4 hours on the dot so I could get in 15 min. of relief from the pain. So, I do think that maybe the dr. was rushed. But every time I brought it up to him that I was throwing up, he just said go back to liquids. I can't do liquids only for years- impossible to function. I would give the advice to anyone who has ANY auto immune disorders to NOT have the surgery.

Thank you. I did my research online and I do plan on having the barium test done. I also didn't mention that less than a year after the surgery, I lost my companies, got diagnosed with Lupus (already had fibromyalgia) and my husband of 20 years up and left me and my 2 kids alone with no money and all the bills (ran off with the office secretary). Which now leaves me in a position of being low income- child support and alimony, with all the issues I have had, I have been unable to work. So, money has been a key factor. If I had maintained my insurance and had my income situation been different I would have had this issue resolved years ago. The doctors just want too much money (can't afford) and won't take payments. I won't be able to have the test until next month. It was weird because I made the trip to the ER only because I was afraid or erosion or slippage. This vomiting was very violent and from down deep into my stomach. It was the worst sort of vomiting with dry heaves. I need to get my Xrays so I can take them to my doctor. I have serious doubts about the ER doctors knowing if the band was in proper position or not. Even though I am feeling better I still want to get it all checked out to avoid issues that might occur in the future, don't want a loose band floating around in my abdominal cavity.

Hi, I think I would have had it, if I had not had Lupus. But, If not for that I think I would do it again. I have seen success with it. It's a great tool for helping to lose weight. I really don't miss eating full meals. I miss certain foods that you are allowed with the band, only because my stomach couldn't tolerate them, such as steak and chicken. It's such a personal decision for you. Take into account your health and the benefits and if you can stick by it. It does take discipline. Good Luck. Hope to see you on here again.