2012

In fact I'm pretty much feeling 100% now. My port incision still hurts a little but that's the extent of my discomfort of late. I'm even back to wearing the jeans that I couldn't quite get into earlier this year. This pic is of me in those very jeans TODAY.
 
I did my post op appt early too, by one week, because I can't make it next week. So I saw my surgeon yesterday, two weeks post band replacement. He was SO pleased with how I was healing, weighed me (I've officially lost 4kgs since he last saw me) and he put 4cc into my 10cc band to 'start me off'. I'm nowhere near my green zone but I'm feeling a tiny bit of restriction and you know what feels amazing? It's NOT disappearing, like it always did with my leak.
 
I'm so hopeful for the future now. I'm not even stressing about getting back to the green zone. I didn't have much to lose to get back to my stable weight of 60kgs but I'm already at 65kgs 2 weeks out of surgery so if I don't lose anymore now, I'd be perfectly happy. As long as I don't have to struggle not to gain, I'd be happy!
 
So regrets? No, not anymore.

Since I work about 12+ hours a day, I am always grateful for assistance with the housework. I was quite thrilled the other day to come home to find out that my mother completed two loads of wash for me. However, it quickly turned to dread when I discovered that my black dress pants that I wear to work were put into the dryer. Now, let me fill you in a little bit about my dress pants. We usually have a battle in the morning with zipping them up. I lay on the bed, wiggle around, and feel the pain throb on my finger as I try to get that zipper up. I would NEVER put them in the dryer as the heat from the dryer is not my friend! So I had to break down and wiggle my butt into Spanx and thought I had won the battle with my pants. Well...sort of... It was still a challenge. This is what I usually deal with and what I have been dealing with for quite some time.
 
I was banded on March 4, took 2 weeks off from work, and during the first week back at work, I avoided my black pants since I was still sore in my stomach area. So here it is...Friday, March 30, and I have run out of options for clothing. There in my closet, looking ever so quiet (and a bit afraid of the battle that may ensue) are my black pants. Ugh! I am going to hate this
beginning to a Friday morning I thought to myself. Well, here it goes. I decided not to go with the Spanx as sometimes it is not all that comfortable for sitting too long and I knew I had a meeting to attend that day. Obviously, I had been weighing myself since March 4 and thought, hmmmm... let's
see if 20 pounds has made a difference in my world. (I have 130 more to lose...not real sure if 20 really made difference yet.)
 
I put both legs in those pants, pulled them up, and got ready for the wrestling match on the bed. Much to my surprise, they zipped. I don't mean just zipped up....I mean they zipped without a 10 minute worm dance on my bed! I was thrilled! Beyond thrilled! These pants haven't seen a dryer for quite sometime so I just know it was thrilled too! No one at work has noticed the weight loss and I really don't expect anyone to notice until I buy new clothes and lose around 40 lbs. But my pants and I knew better that particular day. We were winning together!
 
As I shut off the light in my bedroom, I thought I heard a small voice say, "I'm next" from the pair of pants (Size 16) that I wore several years ago when I lost 70 lbs. Yes...my friend...you are next! Just stay in that drawer a little bit longer. I am working on getting you out and about as soon as I can...and I promise we won't have a battle!

​I was out today driving with my husband and we were talking about food. He is a diabetic. He said he would love a bowl of hot fudge and said to me, I am sure you do too. I said no, don't want to even have a taste. I am clearing my head of all my old favorites. Like buying fresh made bread and eating a loaf before I even get home from the store. Or having wonderful bread in a restaurant and eating more than one basket full. Bread is my very best friend. I still do have it in restaurants but have totally changed how I eat it. One restaurant I only eat the end crusty parts of the bread not the doughy parts. I know, it is still bread but it takes me longer to eat and I need my friend.
Another friend of mine was my pint of ice cream almost every night and I added almonds and sometimes chocolate chips. I only have my SF Popsicles now.
I hate fast food places so that was never a problem. I do miss really great french fries but I now have a small amount of mashed potatoes instead. I really really want to be thinner. I don't know why this time is different than the other 100 diets/weight loss programs, but this time I am going to be healthier and thinner. I hope you all agree and let's do it!!!!!!!! together.
Have a wonderful evening everyone.

So before I climb onto my soapbox let me start by saying this is in no way directed at anyone in particular.
 
It seems lately there has been an onslaught of folks either pissed off or discouraged and some even wish they didn't have the surgery because of lack of scale movement. I cannot recall how many posts I've read over the course of the week from someone 5 days to 20 days post op who are just downright frazzled over the fact that the scale has not moved.
 
Again, this is not directed at anyone in particular and as I think back when I was first banded I kind of had that moment of frustration where the scale didn't move and I questioned whether or not I chose the right surgery. I was in the same place a lot of you might be now. I did a lot of research on this surgery for about year before finally going through with it. Out of all things I wish I was more prepared for was the actual weight loss. See I had this assumption that because I had the surgery I was going to begin pulling big numbers immediately. Because I had surgery I was going to see large drop in weight very fast. It never happened...and 11 months post op I can tell you it never has happened...or maybe it has. You see I am obsessed with the scale and have been since my preop days. So I will step on the scale far to often to be able to see big numbers. I finally made peace that this is the way its going to be and I am OK with that now.
 
Everyone loses weight differently and what may work for me may not work for you. Our bodies are so different. So comparing yourself to someone else is not very realistic.
 
If you are due to have surgery or just had surgery I suggest you do yourself a favor and avoid the scale. You will only torture yourself with it. First month post op is all about healing. Even though this may have been the easiest surgery you ever had there was still a substantial amount of trauma to your stomach and digestive system and it needs time to heal and for the swelling to reduce. Swelling alone with play havoc with scale enough to drive someone bonkers. Just do yourself a favor and leave it be.
 
As for the pre and post op "diets" your Doctor prescribed. I really don't believe he provided those guidelines as a sense of torture. Liquids and mushies is all about letting your stomach heal for a few weeks before trying to eat solids. Remember you have a new version of your stomach now and it has to be treated like a newborns. Milk, baby food and then on to solids.
 
I wish you all well and much success. Try not to be hard on yourself and do keep your expectations in check. Remember Rome was not built in a day. Band one day and skinny the next is for dreams only. It takes hard work and determination. Like my friend Carolinagirl always says, You have "want power" and you just have to used it.
 
Being 488lbs I had a tough time deciding if the band was the right me. I was so worried because I had so much weight to lose. I spoke with my Surgeon and said he thought I would do well with the band but he was more than willing to do gastric if that's what I wanted. He was right about the band. I am not at goal yet but it is very reachable now and all doubt is out the window. Work with your band and become one with it and possibly good things will come.
 
Cheers!!
 

Today I'm one month post up I down 15 pounds!! I'm continuing to learn more everyday and follow the rules!

And no, I am not talking about the size of my butt!
 
Just looking at my ticker and based on my surgeon's first goal for me, I am over have way there, but as many veterans have warned me weight loss has slowed, but is still on a downward trend. It would be nice to extrapolate based on what I have lost so far as to how long it will take me to meet that goal, but WLS doesn't work that way.
 
My spin classes have been giving me great cardio, and building my leg muscles but they have also been playing havoc with the scale. As my body retains water to deal with the micro tears that encourage new muscle growth, the scale stays the same (or climbs) for days on end, then one morning I will get up and have dropped 3-4 pounds from one night to the next. But if I am logging my food, and exercise I can pretty much ignore this by knowing what is real.
 
Next step is adding in strength training, since I don't want a lot of upper body mass, low weights and lots of repetition will tone my upper body without making me look like the Hulk.

I was shaving this morning and my wife came in and weighed herself, curious I asked how much? Her answer was 122.5 (she is 5' 5"), and that around Thanksgiving she noticed that her back was hurting so she dropped 5 pounds and had been holding steady ever since. You know how my wife dropped 5 pounds and then holds her weight steady? She simply eats less. Not a diet, not skipping meals, not exercising, she eats less of the things that she eats every day. If she wants a beer or a cocktail, she will skip dessert.
 
This is how normal people interact with food. I am not normal, I am a mutant when it comes to food. The band is my tool to help me pass for normal person

Wow are we a judgmental bunch! I read these blogs daily and daily I become more and more frustrated with the lack of sensitivity we show for one another. And I am sure someone will slam me today for this blog but honestly I really do not give a flip. We all come to this site for help, think about it ladies and gentleman none of us could do this on our own. Not one of us could lose weight and keep it off. Each of us has our own personal set of reasons as to why we are obese, read the paper, listen to the news, As a society we are getting more obese daily, our eating life styles have to change if we want to succeed with any WLS and face it this is HARD. Some of us have been very successful and some of us are still struggling. Some people may never be successful because they can't get the physiological side of this process hard wired. What do I mean by that statement, eating correctly is half the battle! I am fortunate, I have lost all my weight, well don't pat me on the back too fast. I still struggle daily just like I did at 252 pounds, I wake up every morning knowing that I have to work every minute of the day on eating right. The rest of the world is not on my plan, the rest of the world could care less that I can't eat certain foods or certain foods make me throw up. My point folks is this, we have to help each other. Some of us get this really easy and quick and some of us are really hard headed and may never get this. But honestly is it not worth trying to coach one another and having a little patience, compassion and human dignity. After all remember we were all once the fat person in the mirror and the whole world has been judging us for a long time, thinking we just sit around and eat bon bon's and stuff our faces. As we become thin, please don't let us become the people who have judged us for so long.
 
In my line of work I am required to take sensitivity training, maybe we could all benefit from a little training! Sad we have to teach adults to be nice, no wonder our world is surrounded by so much evil and violence.
 
So my topic who is to blame, only us and if we choose to fail we have no one to blame but our selves, just look in the mirror!
 
Lapband is not for everyone, WLS is not for everyone, Surgery does not work for everyone and you and your surgeon can determine what is best for YOU!

Of things I want to be able to do on and after my weightloss journey.

To sky dive (weight limit is 200lbs for my height)
Be able to comfortably fit in an economy airline seat
Be able to ride roller coasts with a "no doubt" mind set that I will fit
Start training for a triatholon
Be back to my high school jean size of 11 and medium top
Learn to play violin (not really weightloss related... but whatev, I want to learn)
Be able to wear high heels longer than 3 hours with out my feet hurting from 270+lbs crushin my tooties
Not have to try on 20 dresses to find 1 that looks ok to wear
Be able to walk up the dry-dock stairs at work with out feeling like I'm dying (literally...my leg feel like they're going to fall off and my heart feels like it's going to explode)
Not having to crop pictures anymore
No more having to retake pictures 20 times to find one where I don't look huge

 
I know I'll come up with more....