Banned member

We feel attacked also! We're being told that we're liars, dishonest, and lack integrity because we choose to keep our medical history private! If anything us people who choose to keep our surgery quiet, we've mostly said "to each their own" or "do what's right for you. How hard is it to respect that?

I'm not being overly dramatic. You have called ALL of us liars.dishonest, and said that we lack the integrity that you have. You said these things. I'm just wondering how much more you plan to say about how perfect you are. Like I said a million times on this thread, I am being honest when I say that I'm eating smaller portions and exercising. It may not be what YOU want me to say but that's fine. ETA: plenty of people on here have also said that you act holier than thou.

We get it! We're liars, lack integrity, and dishonest people. Did I leave anything out?

So you just posted to tell us how perfect you are? Okay, got it *blah*. We get it.....you're perfect.

Your lie sounds like it's something far more serious, than withholding the fact that one has had wls. So you're trying to say that you have been 100% truthful since then?

I was surprised to log in today and see that there are 2 additional pages lol. I honestly don't get why people care what we say.

This is your attempt at telling me and others what we should do/say!. It's not up to you to decide what is and isn't an appropriate response to a question about how we lost the weight. You were also very vague when answering my questions and I guess I'm vague when it comes to my response about surgery............ we have something in common. Your integrity is YOUR INTEGRITY! You can't apply those standards to everyone else and then try to shame them for doing something that you wouldn't do. If you personally didn't care about whether or not people shared their surgery, then you wouldn't use words such as "dishonest" or "(lack) integrity". To me those words imply that we are lying. If you didn't care then there would be no discussion at all, it would be..... do whats right for you *end of story*.

That's your OPINION that it's a lie by omission. It's also another attempt to shame someone into disclosing something that they consider private, which in this case happens to be surgery. Are you saying that you are willing to share any and everything with strangers when asked?

Would you be open to sharing all this info with people who you barely know in person? It's easy to be open and honest on a forum, so it doesn't surprise me that you would be fine with answering these questions because of the anonymity of the internet. Being honest is also saying that you are watching what you eat and eating smaller portions, that's not a lie and it is a totally valid/truthful response also.

People are telling the truth when they say that they are eating smaller portions and watching what they eat! How is that a lie? VSG is only a tool, it doesn't do the work for you and people can easily gain...........maybe not right away but people have been known to gain all of their weight back or lose very little. I personally didn't sign up to be the spokes person for this surgery. Since when did keeping something private=embarrassed? Do you feel comfortable discussing the number of people you've slept with, how much money you make, how much you spend shopping, how much debt, financial/marital issues, sexual abuse, STDs, etc? If you choose not to disclose the answer to these questions, does that mean that you're "embarrassed" or "ashamed"? Privacy is something that should be respected. I highly doubt anyone can claim to be "truthful" 100% of the time.

I'm not arguing with anyone but I did propose (define: to engage in talk or discussion) a question to those who believe that we should be "truthful" and "honest". Would those who feel open about discussing their surgery, also be open to discussing the number of people they've slept with, how much money they make, how much they spend shopping, how much debt, financial/marital issues, sexual abuse, STDs, etc? It's not about keeping a "secret" for the rest of your life but merely about respecting someones decision to doing whats right for them and if that means taking their surgery to the grave, then fine. Neither decision is more right than the next. A lot of people come to forums like these so that they can share their journey and be open. VSG is not my life and I hardly ever think about but I didn't sign up to be the spokes person for this surgery.

I also hate when people imply that we are somehow ashamed or embarrassed about surgery because we don't shout it out to the world or tell everyone who ask. I wonder how many people have considered the fact that they themselves might not be open to sharing other parts of their lives. For example: the number of people they've slept with, how much money they make, how much they spend shopping, how much debt, financial/marital issues, etc. You may be open about your surgery but do you feel comfortable sharing other aspects of your life that may be intrusive to your privacy? I am not ashamed of my surgery and it's been one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life but it's not my job to divulge every aspect of my life. I do not owe anyone an explanation and I highly doubt that anyone in life could ever claim to be "truthful" 100% of the time. If you want to tell everyone who ask, then do so but stop trying to shame others into doing things the way YOU would.

I've noticed a difference in my nose. I was thinking about getting a nose job but I told myself that I had to wait until goal but it's thinning out and not as wide. I'm praying it goes down a little more so that I wont need a nose job.

I thought I was eating a lot per meal until I started measuring my meals and 1/2 cup of food makes me full. Hell I just measured out 2/3 cup of food and couldn't finish it. I'm 7 months post op and still have great restriction. I did slip back into grazing but a meeting with my NUT has me back on track. I measure and weigh my food but I don't bother with counting calories since my NUT told me to stop counting cals. If I grazed I could easily eat 2000 cals and I have before! Now I'm back to eating under 1000 cals and it's a lot harder now that I'm further out but now its easier.

Same thing with me and my sister. I think my sister weighs about 210ish pounds. I haven't seen her in years though but she was upset that I was getting surgery. I think my mom was upset also because she's gained and probably weighs about 180 pounds. It started a lot of unnecessary drama and like you said "once it's out there, there's no taking it back". I'm sure my whole family knows since they like to gossip a lot but they live way in Maryland so it doesn't bother me. I have gotten support from close friends that I told. I also had a aunt who had RNY surgery back in 2005 and she lost a ton of weight but that's ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT! People get so damn tired of hearing about her surgery and how she can only eat so much yada yada. Her surgery is her life and most people would much rather talk about something other than that. Some of the people who tell everyone, it makes me wonder if they are like my aunt and just wont shut up about it. When I''m out with my friends we all mostly talk about our husbands and kids. I've just always been one of those people who didn't like to talk about myself. I'm more of a listener. ETA:I have a lot of military wives who I have met over the years and they know that I've had surgery. Most of the wives that I know here where we are stationed, don't know that I've had surgery but the ones that do have also had surgery. As far as telling the other wives, who are all skinny......nope!. Plus they wouldn't want to talk about something as boring as my weight or how I'm losing. WLS just never comes up in conversation, nor does it feel appropriate for me to blab it out. I also don't go around showing people my before pics. I guess if I did i would have to explain how I lost the weight. I'm sure people see that I'm losing weight but they don't say anything. Once we get stationed some where else and have to meet all new people, they may just assume that I'm naturally thin. I've only had one person ask me how I've lost the weight and I told her about my surgery but other than that most people just ask me if I've lost weight and I say yeah.......and that's the end of it. They don't ask me how, nor do they care.

^^^ Majority of my friends are a healthy weight. I'm the fattest in the group and I don't feel like I owe it to them to be open and honest, heck they don't need the surgery. Other people that have noticed my weight loss are also at a healthy weight. It's not a lie to say that you are watching what you eat because most of us are. I'm in Colorado which is known as the healthiest state. There aren't too many heavy people around here. If an obese person asked me what I did I would tell them that I had surgery but the timing has to be right. I do have a friend who probably weighs about 350 pounds but I haven't mentioned to her that I've had surgery, heck I've only known her since March. She doesn't talk about weight or dieting and I don't want her to feel as if I'm judging her. Who knows, she may turn out to be one of those people dead set against surgery and here I just wasted my breath. Like I said earlier people aren't entitled to know everything that goes on in your/my life. If you want to be an open book, then so be it but that doesn't work for everyone. My business is mine and this reminds me of why I got rid of facebook months ago because it was way too open and I didn't want everyone to know everything about me or what I'm doing. These people that come in and out of my life aren't entitled to know everything about me. They don't pay my bills or have any sort of bearing on my life, so it's up to me whether or not I share with them anything personal about myself. I never understood why people make such a huge deal about people wanting to keep it private. To each their own.

I was looking up this subject a couple of weeks ago and yup there are people who have gained back 60+ pounds of weight. There are also people who lost hardly anything. If you do a quick google search of "vsg to DS or RNY", you will find several stories. It was definitely an eye opener. After having surgery I realized that instead of eating away my problems, I need to express them. I needed to open up about my feelings and it's hard but becoming easier with time. Definitely don't give up

Since I'm a slow loser I tell people that I've been watching my calories and portion sizes, which is true! I measure my food everyday. Most people wouldn't suspect that I've had surgery since the pounds aren't melting off but they do notice the healthy rate of weight loss and that's no different than my diet attempts. I don't feel the need to tell everyone because this is my health and not everyone is entitled to know every little thing about my life. When I was younger I felt like I had to be open and honest with everyone and now that I'm maturing, I realize that I am entitled to my privacy. In my case the pounds didn't just melt off without effort. I've been fighting for every single pound that I've lost and wls is only a TOOL. With this tool I can easily stay the same weight or gain but it's ME thats decided that I wanted to do what it takes to make it work.

Me and DH went to see the new GI Joe movie for our date night and I ate a hot dog and drank water. DH had popcorn but I was never a pop corn fan.

I'm a "slow loser" (normal loser/healthy rate of weight loss loser) and I haven't noticed an increase in weight loss. I feel like I've been losing at the same pace since I've had surgery. I've lost 53 pounds so far and weigh 207 pounds. I had a 3 pound woosh a couple of days ago and the scale hasn't budged at all since. I was hoping I would be at goal by now but nope. I feel like I have to fight for every pound lost and no matter how much I change things I still lose at the same pace. My weight loss also coincides with my monthly cycle. I had the woosh right when my period was ending and now that I'm about to start ovulating in a couple of days my weight loss always stalls around this time. Once ovulation is over I should lose slowly up until my period comes and then I will stall again. Once my period is over the pounds will start melting off again. Rinse and repeat. lol. Even knowing all this I still get frustrated but I just remind myself that this stall will always happen around ovulation and my period. I don't see my weight loss every speeding up but I'm happy that my weight loss is still in a downward trend. Like other slow losers I didn't have the honey moon period.

My NUT told me to stop counting calories but I feel like I'm eating around 600-900 cals now. She told me to measure my food. She recommends I eat 1/2-3/4 cup of food per meal, 3 times a day. I also get to eat 2 snacks a day and that can only be about 1/4 cup of food twice a day. It's been hard especially with the head hunger but I've been sticking to her plan and I've lost about 6 pounds this past week.

That's the reason why I leave my scale in the same spot and only step on it once.

I decided to cut back on alcohol especially since I'm still about 60 pounds away from goal. I like fruity drinks like OJ and vodka or diet cranbery and vodka. I also like mikes hard lemonade wine coolers. I love having a drink especially on the weekend but my NUT said that I'm not supposed to drink until 18 months post op, OOPS! lol Also when I drink I tend to have more cravings and less will power. I also like the bud light margaritas.

My insurance covers a tummy tuck and breast lift but I've heard that the surgeon who does the breast tends to botch them. My friend had a tummy tuck but I felt like her scar was high. I'm looking into just paying out of pocket and going to a surgeon that does plastics for a living and not just on the side. Plus I want both procedures done the same day and my insurance only covers one surgery at a time.