CdnExpat

Sounds familiar. It was my husband who suggested that since I couldn't diet my way to a slimmer me, maybe I should ask for help? He's been absolutely awesome. We're Culture Vultures & Foodies, and I was really worried about how being sleeved would change our lifestyle, but we've worked together to adjust to my new needs AND still do the things we love. DH has also dropped everything I can't eat from his diet (except cheeseburgers) and he's lost the 20 pounds he's gained since I met him in 1980. (He also adjusted a lot of things when I spent a year in a wheelchair because of my MS) Now when we go out (96 days post op and we're going out again!) he orders what he wants and I nibble off his plate. We still get our beloved Foodie experience, our regular dates, and the treasure of shared enjoyment. We were married 30 years last month, and I don't regret staying through the tough times when I wondered what I was thinking in marrying him (we were both 18). I'm so thankful I stayed and did the hard work that's paying such big dividends now. Having said all that, I can say if we weren't BOTH committed to our relationship and to the need/space for personal growth, we wouldn't have made it. If the relationship had been one-sided in any way - emotionally, physically, mentally, or psychologically, it would have collapsed. A satisfying and fulfilling relationship is only possible with reciprocal investment by both partners. (This is partly what I do professionally... ;p) Just want to say my husband, friend, lover, coach, handyman is a jewel, too. CE

Doc figured my goal as "100 pounds for the first 5' and 5 pounds for every full inch above that." Leeway is +/- 5 pounds. At 5'5" I'll be damn pleased with anything between 130 and 140! CE

Hang in there. Four weeks out is still new. The heartburn is usually taken care of by Pariet or some such which you take at night for the first 90 days ( or at least that's my dr's protocol). And I hear you about the grieving process. I did the same thing, and still sometimes have the mental craving to just eat anything I want. The enjoyment of food comes back, but with it comes a new kind of pleasure. I eat so little now that I take great enjoyment in eating good food. (Think "expensive" lol). I'm 95 days out, and today I had a beautiful, thinly sliced piece of rare roast beef with the loveliest sliver of Manchego cheese. I savoured every bite (slowly) and there was no downside. I am delighted to know that I will be able to appreciate food again, but in a different way. I am losing hair, but have done more research - it's not completely preventable since it's primarily caused by the surgery itself and the wls. It is temporary and can be helped by taking Biotin, making sure you get enough Iron, and use a shampoo like Nioxin. Really - this is a huge change and everything may seem sucky or WTF?! now, but it does get better. CE

I wasn't much of a steak fan before, but I love the idea of the crockpot. I used to do that all the time when my girls were at home and I can certainly go back to it now. Might also solve some of the issue with no drinking as well. Congratulations on being halfway. I'm a little less than halfway, but I also have to get exercising again - because I started out with a lower BMI the doctor thinks I'll have to give my metabolism some help to keep losing the weight. I don't care if I only lose a pound a month as long as I'm going in the right direction. This isn't a diet, it's a complete lifestyle change. I was told to plan on reaching my goal weight on the anniversary of the op. I can do that. CE

I'm afraid I have bad news. I have done everything I'm supposed to do in order to keep up the protein requirements. Isopure, eating Proteins first, measuring and weighing in order to ensure I'm getting enough, and 90 days post-op, my hair is falling out like crazy. I've had to have it cut short in order not to look like a fuzzball when the new growth comes in. The doctor keeps assuring me this is "temporary" but I have to say I'm pretty disappointed that in spite of forcing myself to do the Protein shakes (gross) and sitting at the table for an hour after everyone else is gone in order to finish that @#@#$ chicken breast, my hair is still falling out. CE

Nope. This is exactly how I feel, and sometimes I struggle mentally with the loss of enjoyment. My husband and I are long-time foodies, and now, going out isn't very much fun. We've managed to revisit a few of our favorite places - he orders what he wants and I "nibble" off his plate. (He says he loves the cheap dates!) But I certainly don't think about food like I used to. I'm usually not hungry and I find I have to force myself to try to eat the minimum calories I'm told I require. In my head, I miss the comfort that food brought, but I'm learning to do other, more positive things with that emotional space. As I do, I've found that my relationship to food is becoming more balanced. And that's a good thing. CE

The shot glass with water has worked perfectly for me. I see the doctor tomorrow night, and I'll double-check with him, but it seems like a workable solution. (Thanks to Bigdockc )

I will check with my doctor. He's been great, but he's also been insistent that I could learn to eat without liquid. Not. (The shot glass idea is great!)

There's all sorts of quality research indicating value judgments based on externals, including weight, looks, body adornments, clothing, etc are actually the norm, not the exception. There's also research that indicates that lack of self-confidence is not necessarily correlated to body image - some of the most unhappy people I've worked with were "beautiful" or "perfect" in conventional ways, but absolute wrecks on the inside. Conversely, there are people who are rock solid psychologically who are overweight, scarred, missing limbs, or otherwise body challenged. Johnathan's irritation with the generalization was warranted. That kind of "broad-spectrum armchair psychology" makes me mad, too.