MamaMelly

My Story. Well, if that isn't a loaded title I don't know what is. I have so many stories.
I guess since this is a weight loss forum, I should start with the story of my weight. That tale shakes out more like a timeline, really. Childhood: Chubby kid. Recall dieting with my mom as early as the third grade. High School: Got down to about a size 8-10. Used Jenny Craig or Nutri Systems. . . Can't even remember which one. Most of College: Gained it all back and then some. Darn those Provolone grilled Bagels at the Coates Center and Queso and Tortillas from TC's. Senior Year: Jenny Craig again. Modest weight loss, but this time it seemed to stick. And then there was Law School (i.e. the best diet ever for a Type A student who suddenly found herself in over her head academically for the first time): Nothing will send a metabolism into overdrive like pure fear of failure. Combine that with living in a remote town with only 1 fast food restaurant and no more student dining and waaalaa (really not sure how you spell that) the weight just sort of started falling off. I was a solid size 8, sometimes even a 6, by the time I graduated.
The Wedding: You'll no doubt have noticed that I never really mentioned exercise up to this point. I never really did any, either, until the year of my judicial clerkship, which actually coincided with my engagement. That year I spent in an even more remote town where the only local that I had anything at all in common with happened to be a former CPA who decided to open a gym after her own weight loss journey. So I started working out. . . a lot. I had a 9-5 job and a long distance relationship. What else was there to do? I used a food and exercise journal (maybe a little too religiously) and by the wedding, I was 124 pound, hiking up my size 4 Vera Wang, which I really should have had altered one more time, and loving it. Its a good typing I got pictures, but my kids barely recognize me in them.
My 30s: Big city private law practice with its 12 hour days spent mostly behind my desk and its ready access to a constant stream of icy cold diet dr. peppers, we not kind to me on a number of fronts, one of which was my figure. After 10 years of relatively steady weightless or maintenance, 30 found me up a few pounds and pregnant with my first child. Every pound made me want to cry, and believe me there were many to cry over. Its like my body craves weight during pregnancy. I can gain 10 pound before that second line will even think about appearing on that stick. My boy was born, and I went back to Jenny Craig. Third times the charm? Well, not so much in my case. I think I got back down to 180 or so, but then there was the next pregnancy, and the next. I miscarried those babies at about 13 weeks, but I still found, and kept, a few pounds with each. Then there was the adoption weight. . . . who knew the stress of adopting would pack on the pounds like that. Then, when my beautiful daughter was only 6 weeks old, I discovered I was carrying her baby brother. At that point I was 208 which, miraculously, I managed to get back down to by the time I left the hospital with him. They call my OB the Weight Nazi for good reason.
Then, just as I had hired a trainer and was headed for a healthier lifestyle, my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, my dad with MS. As an only chid and a mother of a then 5 year old, one year old and a 6 month old baby, I switched into crisis mode, quit my job and became the worlds most over-educated chauffeur. My babies spent their first couple of years strapped into car seats as we drove NaNa and Pops from one doctors appointment to another. Her chemo therapy sessions were long 12 hour days and she was hospitalized more than once. He spent 6 weeks in a rehab hospital and ultimately lost the use of his legs. You can't believe how many prescriptions they had between them. And I managed it all. I also gained about 40 more pounds in the process.
Please do not get me wrong. It was worth it. My mom is enjoying full remission from a disease that everyone said would kill her, and my dad is stable in an assisted living facility if not enjoying the retirement we had hoped for him. My kids are smart and beautiful at 3, 4 and 8, and it is time that I turn this weight issue around once and for all.
So, I have decided to get the gastric sleeve procedure. A colleague of my husband had it a few years back and has enjoyed amazing results. I know it is not a quick fix, merely a tool, but I have decided that I owe myself that jump start after all I have been through over the past 3 years. I know that I can stick to a program once I get good and into it. I just need to make sure that, this time, I am not derailed by life's unexpected tragedies. I have enlisted the help and support of my dear friend who has found her second career as a dance fitness instructor, and I am looking towards a brighter future where I can keep up with my kids, at least a little better, and shop for clothes in regular stores. My surgery date is August 7.

Obviously your body is t ready for purees- go back to full liquids and try again in a few days. Wishin you were fat forever isnt going to make things better. Stop looking back and start looking forward. you didn't learn to ride a bike or tie your shoes the first time you tried either.
Remember that you eat so your body has fuel. You don't live to eat.
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One weeks out? Sakes! It's going to get better. All the sagging skin in the world is better than obese. You will be able to enjoy food again, but you will eat in portions that skinny people enjoy. You will feel so much better and look it. It's too late for regret. It's time to get to work.
Just sip slowly. Suck on a popsicle. Try warm things or tepid things. I personally think that it is too soon for puree if you cannot tolerate them. Try going back to a least full liquids. Yogurt goes down especially well for me.

Wow, what a great story! I got a shiver reading it What a blessing!

Hey everyone. Got my surgery date. August 2nd. Gulp!! I'm super terrified. And excited and anxious and everything else I'm sure you're experiencing as well. Anyone interested in being a text/email buddy??

You have to intake calories or burn reserves, etc. to get energy (metabolize). You do not have to exercise to get energy. Exercise at 2 weeks is a "bonus" not a requirement. Not exercising 2 weeks post-op is not linked to depression, that I've ever seen, or a behavioral reversion (at 2 weeks out, very few behaviors are actually changed anyway - it's still learning curve & adaptation time).
I don't mean to "argue" your advice. I'd just hate to have basic things like "where energy comes from" be misunderstood, or for statements like "if you don't exercise you will get depressed" be assumed as truth.
HTH

Congratulations MamaMelly. Our nerves can be our enemies at times, but they are completely normal. You can message me anytime, but there are times I stay busy and may not be able to respond right away. I am somewhat a stay at home mom, but I work on my parents ranch. I am fortunate that they understand enough and have given me this time to take for myself to adjust to diet, and then after surgery i will only help out as I can and am allowed. There are certain things that I won't be able to do for two months after per the lifting restrictions my doctor has, but once I am on full release I will be out in the fields most of the days.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey and know that we are all here to support you,

Congratulations MamaMelly you will do great...it is a rollercoster and wow we get on looking one way and step out looking another way...(and the seat belts might even fit LOL)

Hey everyone. Got my surgery date. August 2nd. Gulp!! I'm super terrified. And excited and anxious and everything else I'm sure you're experiencing as well. Anyone interested in being a text/email buddy??

Hey everyone. Got my surgery date. August 2nd. Gulp!! I'm super terrified. And excited and anxious and everything else I'm sure you're experiencing as well. Anyone interested in being a text/email buddy??

We are all in this together girls. All of us will make it through and come out so much better for it.
"That which does not kill us (me) makes us (me) stronger" that is my motto through this.

I am just thoroughly enjoying my confidence now. I'm enjoying the attention. I'm enjoying the compliments. I'm enjoying the looks while I'm driving from the guys. Today I was told that I had 'dreamy' eyes by a guy. I'm happily married. But this is a nice change to barely even being noticed before. I walk with my head up now instead of looking at the floor. What a difference. Love love love where this is going. 111 lbs down since august 2011. Another 90 to go!

First off, you look really great. You've both done good work and you shouldn't fail to be proud of your accomplishments just because you aren't to goal yet.
Secondly, the only surgery I'd consider revising to if I were you, would be DS. So yes, if you're considering it, I think that BPD is the way to go. That said, it's a HUGE change and a lifetime of supplements and blood panels to stay healthy, so you have to be sure it's necessary. Which leads to my third:
I don't think you've got anything to be ashamed or worried about.
I think you're right on track for a slower loser. I lost quite slowly, too. It seemed that no matter what I did to mix up my diet it didn't have a big impact.
I know there is one more "heavyweight" here who got to goal very slowly. But she got there! Your sleeve isn't stretched. I know a lot of people feel like there's a honeymoon phase but that is simply not the case. You're more than a year out - your sleeve is about as big as it's getting so unless you constantly cheat it or try to stretch it, you're fine. Your tool is in fine working order.
And I'm not here to judge your diet or intake but here's my two cents, anyway.
You're eating too much for your body, or you'd be losing more. Some folks are lucky and can eat more without gaining. Some folks are athletes and need 1,500+ calories a day. Some of us have to be very strict all the time to lose and stay firmly on track in maintenance to avoid regains. It's just a sad fact of life.
My opinion is that you need to cut those calories. Start by cutting 500 out a day until you're consistently 1,500 per day or lower. And then when you hit a stall (same weight longer than three weeks straight) drop them again by 10% - with this tactic you will lose again.
If you're having a problem with hunger check if you need to be on a PPI again. Just in the last month I had to restart my PPI. I was feeling like I was starving all day long and at night I'd have an acid problem. It took me two weeks to put two and two together and get back on my PPI. Now I feel fine again and the hunger is gone.
And be sure it's not head hunger. Have you worked on your food issues? We all have them or none of us would have a weight problem. Are you compensating, overeating, hiding? Evaluate this honestly so that you can get to where you want to be.
Last but not least, stop comparing yourself to other people. Especially men, because they always lose faster! You can always revise to DS and should look into those options if you're certain the issue isn't something you can fix without it. But not everyone reaches goal quickly. Nobody wants to be "that girl" that loses slowly and we all walk into this surgery with some measure of unrealistic expectations, I think. If we didn't I'd never read a single post about someone freaking out over "only" losing 30 pounds the first month or "stalling" for two days!
You know what to do, right? We all do! Dieting has been drilled into us countless times, especially when we spend years overweight.
Try using 1,500 calories (go 40% Protein, 30% fat and 30% carbs if you want to feel satisfied) as your ceiling for a while. See how you feel. Get back on a shake a day. I'm two years out and I drink a shake most days. I consume between 1,200 and 1,400 calories most days. I like to hit 90+ on my Protein and the shake gets me there. I still have very little room for food. Two scrambled eggs, max. So you do have restriction and you do have the tool to do this. I just think you've gotten complacent. I'm sorry to say it that way - it happened to me for a spell, too! But there's a difference between eating "normally" (which anyone who knows my posts knows I advocate) and eating "normally for an overweight person." You don't need 2,000 calories a day, especially not in the losing phase. I don't care what the doctors say or the nutritionists say, either.
If they were right, and dieting was one size fits all, I would have gotten thin the first time I tried Weight Watchers at sixteen!
Chin up. Be nice to yourself. Pat yourself on your back for how far you've come. And get your Buns back on track. Because if you hang in there, you can live at goal.
~Cheri

Thank you for your posts! The majority of my anxiety comes from the fact that I've had some major health scares/complications in the last few years. Super long story, but basically I had a complicated pregnancy (blood pressure issues, gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia post delivery) followed by a gallbladder surgery 4 months later (surgery itself went okay, but had to have several endoscopic procedures from lingering pain-diagnosed with sphincter of odi disorder) Moral of the story is I feel like i'm cursed with medical procedures, and I don't want a leak or worse! But you are right, I need to stay focused and positive. I want to better my life for myself as well as my family! One day at a time.......

I call that the FUPA..fatty upper ***** area...and I have already lost some weight in that area so I think u will prolly too.