sarabee323

(I should note: My highest weight ever, in life, was 293. That number is listed on my profile information. I lost weight when I went Vegan, then had to lose more for surgery. I was 227 when weighed at the hospital the day of surgery. I am 227 this morning.) I had surgery on Tuesday, June 12th of 2012 at Buffalo General Hospital. My surgeon was Dr. Alan Posner. My situation is different for several reasons: First, I'm Vegan. I've been Vegetarian since the age of 4 (going on 32 now), and Vegan since 6.15.2010. Dr. Posner had told me prior to the surgery that he wanted to make my sleeve bigger than usual, because of being vegan. He also stated that he would not have considered me for a gastric bypass, because of being vegan. There were concerns about nutrition and absorption- so that choice was out of my hands. The only area that I have not been perfectly vegan in, is vitamins/medications. It is near impossible to avoid all animal products with the medications I take.. Second, I have other medical issues going on (I need back surgery as soon as I heal up from this, for starters). They found a hiatal hernia during the endoscopy that was a part of pre-op testing. When Dr. Posner went to repair the hernia during the sleeve surgery, it was apparently "stuck." Dr. Posner told my husband that it appeared to have been there for quite some time, and that he really had to yank to get it out (the part of my stomach that had slipped through a hole in my diaphragm- that is a hiatal hernia). Then, he said all my organs were "squished" together in an abnormal way. Additionally, my spleen was bigger on top than on the bottom, and not sitting in the normal position. He had to hold it to the side through the entire surgery, and due to that, the outer casing of my spleen cracked ever-so-slightly. (So, not necessarily his fault, my body is abnormal).. Usually spleens are hyper-bleeders, but since it was an itty bitty crack on the outermost layer, he claims there were only two drops of blood and they patched it right away with some kind of fibrous lining (I cannot recall the technical name of what he said). Besides the pre-existing severe back pain, the hiatal hernia issue, and the spleen incident- apparently my diaphragm muscle started to bleed on the opposite side of where the hernia was when the last laparoscopic port was going to be closed- so more stitching. Meaning, I got stitched on *both* sides of my diaphragm muscle (equates to more pain) because of the hiatal hernia and then the muscle bleed. Now, to be fair to the doctor and in respect of full disclosure- I had gained weight prior to surgery. My Grand-mother died unexpectedly. She had been in spectacular health; I fully expected her to be a centenarian. She was the woman who raised me, and my only real parent. I did not take her passing well at all (so-called family forced her to be dehydrated and starved to death and dared to call it a 'compassionate choice'. It was the most traumatizing thing I have ever been through to watch her be killed. I thank God, and her, that I was the one holding her hand and singing Amazing Grace to her when she passed). Emotional eating ensued. I called the office to tell them I had fallen off the wagon, and was told to just get back on program, and come in on May 29th to see where I was, and we'd go from there. I was prepared for that. But instead, a few days later I suddenly got a call from Leslie (Dr. Posner's secretary) informing me that my insurance company had approved my surgery and that my surgery date was going to be June 12th, that May 29th would now be my final weigh-in appointment, AND that if I was even ONE pound over on that weigh-in appointment, that my surgery would be CANCELLED. Needless to say, I PANICKED. I had worked almost NINE months to get this surgery- I couldn't let all that hard work and time be thrown away now! So, I drastically reduced food intake and began walking despite enormous amounts of pain (due to my back). I thought that I had to make a miracle happen if I wanted this surgery. Leslie told me that if I was so much as ONE POUND over, MY SURGERY WOULD BE CANCELLED. She did NOT tell me if it was cancelled that it could be easily rescheduled when I got the weight down. Dr. Posner believes and says that I made assumptions, and that the entire situation was misinterpretation on my part, and stressed repeatedly that "no one in his office told me to starve myself." Dr. Posner was so personally frustrated that he raised his voice and (I felt) demeaned me upon hearing I had starved myself prior to surgery (at my first post-op appointment). He got so loud and animated that he felt the need to shut the door at one point, and the nurse tried to console me and my husband after the encounter, telling us repeatedly that "You handled yourself beautifully" and "I'm so sorry." To his credit, he attempted to apologize on the phone when a question had to be called in. I did not even want to speak to him- I had my husband call, I originally had NO intention of ever speaking to him again and was fully prepared to seek alternate post-op care. However, after my husband called in the question, and then Dr. Posner called my cell phone. He did attempt an apology, but it was the kind of apology where the person says, sorry I got frustrated- but everything I said and did was really justified. Felt gross to me, though his tone of voice seemed sincere. ***Additionally in Dr. Posner's defense (this part added Saturday evening, 6.23.2012) .. He has the added pressure and responsibility that if something goes wrong it affects his practice- and if something were to go wrong because I was undernourished at the time of surgery without his knowledge; it would put him in a bad spot. I spoke with him again tonight. He called back within 5 minutes, and even took a moment to ask me how I felt and how my eating was going. I think the entire situation described earlier in this post was an unfortunate misunderstanding. I like his overall disposition. He takes the medical aspect of everything very seriously, but also usually has an upbeat demeanor with a few dry delivery jokes (endearing). *AND NOW* for the REAL insanity........ I GAINED TEN POUNDS WHILE IN THE HOSPITAL (OVER ABOUT 2 1/2 DAYS) WHILE ONLY CONSUMING ICE CHIPS!!!!!!!!!! Depressing much??? Beyond. Dr. Posner says this is because I starved myself prior to surgery. Okay, I can buy that to explain the crazy weight gain Feasible. However, I am now 11 days out from surgery, and only just now got back DOWN to the weight I was immediately PRIOR to surgery!!! SO*** that means I have literally not lost one net pound yet!!! And all the while, I am VEGAN and have been Only been ingesting a soy based Protein shake (prepared with light soy milk), pureed vegetable Soup (only since the post-op appt when I was told I could progress to pureed), real fruit frozen bars (in lieu of 100% fruit juice,because I couldn't find sugar free vegan frozen pops- so the nutritionists agreed that was an acceptable trade off).... So, I'm 11 days out from surgery, on all liquid mush, AND I DON'T HAVE ONE NET POUND LOST TO SPEAK OF AND SHOW FOR ALL THE PAIN OF SURGERY (AND THE NINE MONTHS OF WORK LEADING UP TO IT)! OH* AND- I *ALWAYS* feel hungry! Which was the MAIN reason I had wanted surgery- to NOT feel hungry!!! I thought that would give me a fighting chance... But no- I STILL >always< feel hungry. And my stomach FEELS HUGE INSIDE. Now, clearly that could just be a weird physical feeling- however, I'm really nervous since Dr. Posner said prior to surgery that he was planning on making my sleeve larger just because I'm vegan.. that maybe it IS too big. What if the part of the stomach that produces ghrelin (hormone that tells your brain you're hungry)- what if that part of my stomach didn't get removed?? (I will have to remember to ask this particular question at my next appointment). I'm desperately afraid that I've gotten this surgery for nothing- that I will still have to work as hard as ever to lose the weight with no ascertainable benefit from getting major surgery. I mean, I'm only on liquids and all I've been able to do is break even as far as weight goes! HAS ANYONE ELSE EXPERIENCED ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO THIS???

I like Dr. Posner (for the person that freaked out disrespectfully up there). I did not like him raising his voice at me. I had gained some weight back BECAUSE MY GRANDMOTHER WAS MURDERED, and** I had lost it all by the time I made it to the pre-op final weigh in. On January 12th, I will be 7 months out from surgery. I have (as of tonight) lost only 17 pounds. I went from Vegan to only Vegetarian- just to increase my Protein intake (which was a concern). To the person that commented that they exercise every day-- I had to have back surgery on September 11th, 2012. I might need more surgery (bone fusion/disc removal in my back.. and possibly knee surgery). I am in a tremendous amount of pain all day long and all night long. I *WISH* I could exercise daily! It is emotionally uplifting, besides being physically good for all of us. And to the person upset that I mentioned Dr. Posner by name- When I registered with this site, giving my surgeon's name was a prerequisite for having a membership here. That information was already publicly visible, regardless of my surgeon being named in this particular post. I do find Dr. Posner funny and endearing. We worked through that difficult time, and he hugged me on the way out of my last appointment. I came back on here after MONTHS of not checking up on anything related to this site (or anything else related to bariatric support). I thought that I could use support now, since I am only 17 pounds down since surgery- almost 7 months from surgery. Unfortunately, I found terrible judgment and nastiness. I guess this isn't a safe place after all.

hug received. thankya. I *DID* finally start losing!! I was one month out on the 12th and in the hospital immediately prior to surgery I was 227 and now I am 213!!!!!!!!!!!!! Time to reset my tracker again :-D

Your comment was greatly appreciated

I obviously have issues with the body I am trapped in. I got the surgery to hopefully relieve horrific arthritis pain that is unbearable. This is a "RANT" area, so I started ranting. How do you cheat a sleeve??? I have been back into the hospital THREE TIMES now since surgery because I can't even get enough Fluid in to sustain life!!! I have been in unbearable pain since the surgery, scarcely able to get in enough fluids to live- let alone get all my Protein in!!! Of course I don't expect to get a Victoria Secret model's body- I was making a point about how people say "inner beauty" is all that matters- but THEY ARE WRONG. Give any man the choice between inner beauty in a fat and ugly body or in a VS model's body-- and NO CONTEST. Was just making a point. I am WELL AWARE that I will be MORE DEFORMED after losing weight (that is IF my body gets in line and starts losing!). I *already* had sagging skin. I will be utterly atrocious if I lose more weight. But I HAD to try because of the arthritic pain in my back, knees, hips, and feet. I have an elevated sedimentation rate in my blood and a slightly elevated rheumatoid factor, and brain lesions (not big enough to be M.S.- but they don't know what they are)... amongst other physical problems. Doctors are convinced I have an auto-immune, or two- but they cannot figure out which one(s). Apparently, 5-10% of people with auto-immune disorders do not carry the identifying antibodies to make diagnosis possible. And I suck and get to be in that minority. And if they can't diagnose properly- then they can't TREAT properly. I can only assume whatever auto-immune disorder(s) I have, are wreaking havoc in my body now. My surgeon discovered I have an abnormal spleen during surgery, it was enlarged, bigger on the top than the bottom. He also said my organs were all squished together weird, which made surgery especially difficult. Again, this section said it was for ranting, so I was ranting, getting things off my chest. Good day.

Obviously* I did not expect to lose it all overnight. I did expect to lose at least 20 pounds my first month. My neighbor across the street got the same surgery and I have watched her drop weight like crazy. I NEVER expected to be days away from a month out and only 2 pounds down. I NEVER expected to be this utterly miserable. And I AM ugly. I took one very dark picture here in the best possible angle.. took about 20 pics before I got that one. What I really look like is thoroughly disgusting. And now, I am thoroughly disgusted that I ever got this surgery. And for anyone who wants to talk about "INNER BEAUTY" let's think logically for a moment: ***If a man could choose to have "INNER BEAUTY" inside of a fat and ugly body--- OR have "INNER BEAUTY" inside of a Victoria Secret model's body THERE IS NO CONTEST. Life sucks when you are fat and ugly. And not only do I not have the money for any plastic surgery, but there is NO amount of money that could even begin to fix me. I am stretch-marked ALL OVER. Now I am tortured all day long, in pain, can't eat, NOT EVEN LOSING WEIGHT-- for what?????????

I am EXTREMELY discouraged. I got my sleeve on June 12th. I first GAINED TEN POUNDS just in the 2 & 1/2 days in the hospital having only ice chips!!! NOW, THREE WEEKS and a few days later- I AM ONLY TWO POUNDS LESS THAN MY PRE-SURGERY WEIGHT. I'M AFRAID THIS SURGERY WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. I HAD COMPLICATIONS. I'M IN ***CONSTANT*** PAIN. I CAN'T LIVE ANYWHERE EVEN CLOSE TO A NORMAL LIFE. AND ALL THIS PAIN FOR WHAT?????????????? TWO MEASLY POUNDS????????????????? SCREW THAT. SCREW THIS. I'VE NEVER BEEN SO DEPRESSED AND DISCOURAGED IN MY LIFE! AN OLD FRIEND THAT I ALMOST NEVER TALKED TO ASKED AND I WAS PISSED. NOT ONLY AM I ONLY 2 POUNDS LIGHTER AFTER MORE THAN THREE WEEKS OF liquid MUSH, I HAVE A ***MASSIVE DENT*** ON THE LEFT SIDE OF MY ABDOMEN. SO, PRE-SURGERY, I WAS FAT, UGLY, AND STRETCH-MARKED. NOW, POST SURGERY, I AM FAT, UGLY, STRETCH-MARKED, and ***DEFORMED***. I'M UTTERLY MISERABLE.

I ended up in the hospital twice this week. Nausea and pain to the point of not being able to get the bare minimum fluids in. Hoping to go home later today on stronger anti-nausea and antacid meds. The IV fluids and antinausea/antacid meds have helped tremendously. I hope that I can get to normal life soon. I have two classes from the Spring semester that I still have to finish (have extensions- but one class is supposed to be over next week, meanwhile I have 3 papers to finish for it!). I'm discouraged and don't know if I can do it. The recovery was more difficult than I had anticipated. I watched my best friend (who lives across the street from me) get the surgery in late January and recover extremely well..

Thanks Tina, for caring and writing. It didn't occur till the first pre-op appt.. He is actually pretty personable, more so than most doctors I've encountered. Needless to say, I was very taken offguard. But I don't know. Doctor or not, we're all human. I imagine trying to get a new doctor to do my post op care would be awkward.. Sometimes it's easier to just work through things, I don't know.

Thanks be to God above!... I weighed in at 225.0 this morning! FINALLY, *twelve* days after surgery I have SOMETHING to show for all this pain!

Hi, I couldn't go either. I was told to take miralax. it -barely- helped. but* i decided to slowly sip on an iced capp, and viola! all better in less than an hour- and i mean astoundingly better, more than i had EVER gone before at one time. I heard that as long as it is only a little caffeine it is okay- just not too hot, not too much...

Thanks again to both of you for replying to my original post, and I just wanted to let you know that I edited the post this evening (in purple). Hopefully I can keep up with this site. I think this group online allows us to offer great support to others that understand and have been there!

Just saw your post- thatnk you SO much for responding. It is *very* helpful to know I am not alone.

Heya, Thanks for responding. Water weight would make sense for a few days, maybe even a week-- but 11 days after surgery?? I am getting all my liquid in, and my vegan soy Protein shake. Doctor has me on papaya for acid relief. So did you experience this weight gain/lack of weight loss immediately after surgery too?

I have a decent amount of views on my surgery story, but no replies as of yet. It would really be appreciated, thank ya's!