oh sweety, I am so so sorry you are going thru this. Try not to pay any attention to your loved ones who are saying the negative things. They are just misguided and they don't understand and probably never will understand. You are more now than ever a wonderful member of this forum. Now you have been there and done that, you can help tons of people. Turn this around and make it positive if you can. Go ahead and cry, and then dry it up and say ok this happened for a reason, and go on do what you are lead to do. Im sure it will be to help others..