Sara Kelly Keenan LC

I've been at goal weight for years, I am 11 years post-WLS and food is often still a struggle. Although my weight doesn't fluctuate more than 5 or so pounds from goal weight, which I maintain, it is always a struggle. I was on a cruise last week and the buffet was like a mermaid singing her siren's song enticing me to shipwreck myself on her fattening rocks. So tempting. And for the entire week she never shut-up! What I'm beginning to accept is that I will ALWAYS be a food addict and need to remain vigilant at all times. I won't be permanently free of this addiction and there will always be struggle involved. It seems my only choice is whether I struggle at a healthy weight able to participate in active sporting and life endeavors or whether I will struggle while I return to morbid obesity at 333 pounds and live out my days sitting in a chair in front of the tv gorging myself. I choose to struggle while healthy and active. I have tools and support for continuing to choose the healthy, active path. Maybe that's as good as it gets...and that's enough!

Yay JustWatchMe! With your focus on the vision you have of that healthy goal-weight body next Spring/Summer I have no doubt you will get yourself there! I'm just watchin' you!!

Everyone have a Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for this community you and I are part of. I avoid food-holidays like a recovering alcoholic avoids Octoberfest so today on Thanksgiving I'll be hiking in the forest with loved ones who share and support my vision for wellness. After the hike we will grill a wild salmon and vegetables outdoors. I'll give great thanks for an active, healthy life, pain-free at goal-weight after years being opiate-addicted for chronic back and knee pain with morbid obesity. Who needs a Big Meal? Not me! Life IS my Big Meal! As you sit down to whatever Big Meal awaits you today give some thought to this question.... What is the metaphorical Big Meal in your life? What grand table are you being invited and challenged to join by your Weight Loss Surgery journey? Maybe it is to live a longer, healthier life to enjoy friends and family. Maybe it is to inspire others who suffer morbid obesity to believe they can be healthy again or to teach your kids to have a healthier relationship with food from the beginning of their lives. Whatever your Big Meal is, consider if the meal you will sit down to later today moves you closer to that vision or further away. Whether you choose to eat carefully or splurge later today do it mindfully, consciously and with compassion for yourself. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Everyone have a Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for this community you and I are part of. I avoid food-holidays like a recovering alcoholic avoids Octoberfest so today on Thanksgiving I'll be hiking in the forest with loved ones who share and support my vision for wellness. After the hike we will grill a wild salmon and vegetables outdoors. I'll give great thanks for an active, healthy life, pain-free at goal-weight after years being opiate-addicted for chronic back and knee pain with morbid obesity. Who needs a Big Meal? Not me! Life IS my Big Meal! As you sit down to whatever Big Meal awaits you today give some thought to this question.... What is the metaphorical Big Meal in your life? What grand table are you being invited and challenged to join by your Weight Loss Surgery journey? Maybe it is to live a longer, healthier life to enjoy friends and family. Maybe it is to inspire others who suffer morbid obesity to believe they can be healthy again or to teach your kids to have a healthier relationship with food from the beginning of their lives. Whatever your Big Meal is, consider if the meal you will sit down to later today moves you closer to that vision or further away. Whether you choose to eat carefully or splurge later today do it mindfully, consciously and with compassion for yourself. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

I love the imagery of this photo. It's so important to just keep chipping away, take our time, and be methodical yet gentle with ourselves as we transform. I love it that she's not in a hurry and she isn't frantic. She actually looks relaxed and content, like she knows she's transforming, knows she is beautiful and is content and comfortable within the process of change. She isn't desperate and she isn't racing to be different. She isn't busting off huge chunks of rock which could actually damage the final product of her labor of love.....her labor of self-love. And while she is relaxed and chipping away do you notice that she is half-way done? With no struggle, no war against herself? She is half way there and the bits of rock all around her on the ground are a testament to her gentle, persistent drive toward transformation. I think all of us who sometimes struggle to change faster choose ways that aren't always gentle or kind to speed things up. We can forget, me included, at times that the transformation is in the daily process of chipping, rather than a destination we arrive at when a certain number is achieved. This is an image worth studying periodically on our WLS journey. Are we as comfortable in the present moment of our journey as she is?

I love the imagery of this photo. It's so important to just keep chipping away, take our time, and be methodical yet gentle with ourselves as we transform. I love it that she's not in a hurry and she isn't frantic. She actually looks relaxed and content, like she knows she's transforming, knows she is beautiful and is content and comfortable within the process of change. She isn't desperate and she isn't racing to be different. She isn't busting off huge chunks of rock which could actually damage the final product of her labor of love.....her labor of self-love. And while she is relaxed and chipping away do you notice that she is half-way done? With no struggle, no war against herself? She is half way there and the bits of rock all around her on the ground are a testament to her gentle, persistent drive toward transformation. I think all of us who sometimes struggle to change faster choose ways that aren't always gentle or kind to speed things up. We can forget, me included, at times that the transformation is in the daily process of chipping, rather than a destination we arrive at when a certain number is achieved. This is an image worth studying periodically on our WLS journey. Are we as comfortable in the present moment of our journey as she is?

Last night I attended the bariatric support group meeting of my local medical group. There were 35 people in the room including a staff nutritionist and the Procedure Scheduling Coordinator. The attendees fell mostly into three groups. The first group were people going through the process of being approved for surgery. The second group had received surgery recently and were in the first few months of reducing. The third group were people who had surgery about a year ago and had lost a substantial amount of weight. And then there was me. I was the only one there who'd had WLS more than a year ago (2003 is certainly more than a year ago!). As I listened to the discussion, what struck me was that the main voices in the room were those in the honeymoon period. Most speakers were less than a year out from their surgery, had lost a tremendous amount of weight and were very euphoric. The theme that dominated the session was that it is smart for the prospective patient and those in the first few months post-surgery to surround themselves with people who have only positive things to say about their WLS, only read positive message boards and blogs, and keep away from any 'negative' perspectives. I make a point of spending time on message boards where people are struggling with their weight-loss surgery. I need to be able to understand their challenges in addition to those I have personally faced. As a Life Coach I need to see why and how people struggle and how they get beyond it. In addition to benefiting me professionally, this helps me on my own journey to maintain my goal weight when my old thoughts and behavior patterns re-appear. I spoke up to the group last night because I think it's important for all of us to focus not only on the positive, but also to acknowledge the land-mines that anyone can experience after weight-loss surgery. Otherwise, the opportunity is lost to learn from the struggles of others and avoid avoidable pit-falls. Weight loss surgery is an amazing tool for change, but it isn't good for everyone. Attention to some peoples' bad post-surgical experiences is an opportunity to balance the information given (or not given) by the those with an economic incentive to sell surgery. For example, at last night's meeting there was a woman (who has been approved for surgery in November) talking about how she looked forward to the end surgery would bring to her desire to eat in stressful situations. The professionals in the room were silent. I said to this woman, "Many weight-loss surgery patients still battle the tendency to eat when stressed." I told her that she shouldn't expect the surgery to eliminate the desire to eat when stressed and that it would be wise to begin to create strategies now for dealing with her stress after surgery. I told her that in my experience and in the experience of many of my clients, the stressful situations that triggered the desire to eat in the past are still very present after weight-loss surgery. With the loss of food as an ally and a slimming body that can feel vulnerable and unprotected in the world many turn to drugs or alcohol or force unhealthy foods down their throats looking for a de-stressor or comfort. Last night's discussion leads me to ask you, the BariatricPal veteran, the following questions: What were you told prior to surgery about life after surgery that was not entirely true or was not the entire story? What do you wish you had fully understood prior to surgery that you did not and what do you believe would have put you in the best possible position to succeed after surgery? What information, if any, was missing in the lead-up to your surgery that gave you unreasonable expectations or that led to disappointment in the months or years since surgery? I don't pose these questions to be negative, I want as many people as possible to succeed with their surgeries! I want to clear the air and "add to the record" about what weight-loss surgery does and what it will NEVER do. So, those of you who have had surgery, what do you want those considering surgery to know?

I received this message today and have attached my response for all to see because this is certainly a major concern for many this time of year! "I would love some words of wisdom to say to myself every time I walk past the Halloween candy at work.!" That is NOT FOOD!! Food is fuel. Would you put sugar in the gas-tank of your car? Automobile gasoline usually comes in 87, 89 and 92 octane. If you could get 25 octane gas would you put it in your car? Would it be good for your car? Would someone who cares about his/her car put sub-standard fuel in it? Care about your BODY at least as much as you care about your car. Fuel it well!

I'm really gratified to hear how some of you were given great information and preparation prior to surgery.

That is NOT FOOD!! Food is fuel. Would you put sugar in the gas-tank of your car? Automobile gasoline usually comes in 87, 89 and 92 octane. If you could get 25 octane gas would you put it in your car? Would it be good for your car? Would someone who cares about his/her car put sub-standard fuel in it? Care about your BODY at least as much as you care about your car. Fuel it well!

The first group were people going through the process of being approved for surgery. The second group had received surgery recently and were in the first few months of reducing. The third group were people who had surgery about a year ago and had lost a substantial amount of weight. And then there was me. I was the only one there who'd had WLS more than a year ago (2003 is certainly more than a year ago!). As I listened to the discussion, what struck me was that the main voices in the room were those in the honeymoon period. Most speakers were less than a year out from their surgery, had lost a tremendous amount of weight and were very euphoric. The theme that dominated the session was that it is smart for the prospective patient and those in the first few months post-surgery to surround themselves with people who have only positive things to say about their WLS, only read positive message boards and blogs, and keep away from any 'negative' perspectives. I make a point of spending time on message boards where people are struggling with their weight-loss surgery. I need to be able to understand their challenges in addition to those I have personally faced. As a Life Coach I need to see why and how people struggle and how they get beyond it. In addition to benefiting me professionally, this helps me on my own journey to maintain my goal weight when my old thoughts and behavior patterns re-appear. I spoke up to the group last night because I think it's important for all of us to focus not only on the positive, but also to acknowledge the land-mines that anyone can experience after weight-loss surgery. Otherwise, the opportunity is lost to learn from the struggles of others and avoid avoidable pit-falls. Weight loss surgery is an amazing tool for change, but it isn't good for everyone. Attention to some peoples' bad post-surgical experiences is an opportunity to balance the information given (or not given) by the those with an economic incentive to sell surgery. For example, at last night's meeting there was a woman (who has been approved for surgery in November) talking about how she looked forward to the end surgery would bring to her desire to eat in stressful situations. The professionals in the room were silent. I said to this woman, "Many weight-loss surgery patients still battle the tendency to eat when stressed." I told her that she shouldn't expect the surgery to eliminate the desire to eat when stressed and that it would be wise to begin to create strategies now for dealing with her stress after surgery. I told her that in my experience and in the experience of many of my clients, the stressful situations that triggered the desire to eat in the past are still very present after weight-loss surgery. With the loss of food as an ally and a slimming body that can feel vulnerable and unprotected in the world many turn to drugs or alcohol or force unhealthy foods down their throats looking for a de-stressor or comfort. Last night's discussion leads me to ask you, the BariatricPal veteran, the following questions: What were you told prior to surgery about life after surgery that was not entirely true or was not the entire story? What do you wish you had fully understood prior to surgery that you did not and what do you believe would have put you in the best possible position to succeed after surgery? What information, if any, was missing in the lead-up to your surgery that gave you unreasonable expectations or that led to disappointment in the months or years since surgery? I don't pose these questions to be negative, I want as many people as possible to succeed with their surgeries! I want to clear the air and "add to the record" about what weight-loss surgery does and what it will NEVER do. So, those of you who have had surgery, what do you want those considering surgery to know?

What do all people who get ahead in life, who succeed at great challenges, who achieve great things, have in common? They all got started! And once they got started they "stayed the course" through the tough times, having faith that a better time and place was in their future, and not too far to reach for. No professional athlete ever got great by occasionally training. No talented surgeon became great by entering an Operating Room now and then. Amazing parenting requires daily commitment. Amazing ANYTHING requires daily commitment. Greatness requires showing up, day after day. We have received Weight Loss Surgery (WLS) as a tool. That tool shows up every day. Do we? Do we show up to use that tool every day? Paraphrasing Newton's First Law, "Objects in motion tend to stay in motion and objects at rest tend to stay at rest." How does this apply to us? "Objects" (us!) sprawled across the sofa eating chips and believing they can't succeed tend to stay on the sofa eating chips not succeeding! "Objects" (us again!) eating healthy foods and exercising tend to remain eating healthy foods and exercising. We have all lived the experience of having Newton's Law work against us, which is how we qualified for WLS. How can you make Newton's Law work for you? What are you willing to do today, tomorrow and the next day to make Newton's Law work for you? I met today with a Life Coaching client who for medical reasons beyond her control cannot qualify for WLS so doesn't benefit from the tool we have all been granted. But she shows up every day for herself, walking briskly for an hour and eating primarily vegetables, fruit and lean sources of protein. Without our tool, she shows up! With our tool, how can you better show up in your own life? It's not hard to do and you can do it! Start small, so the change is sustainable, but make it consistent. Small changes add up to something valuable if repeated often enough. So what will you do? Will you take a 20 minute walk daily with your heart healthily pounding during your lunch hour? Will you ride your bike for 20 minutes up a 500 foot hill daily and then coast home? Will you briskly swim laps daily for 20 minutes at your local pool? Will you follow-up these activities with lean, healthy dinners? What I and my coaching clients have learned is that if we create daily programs for healthy living they are only hard to maintain for a few weeks and then we reap huge benefits in health, mobility and pride. Then the changes become the "New Normal." Consider....what would you like your "New Normal" to be? Are you willing to be uncomfortable for a few weeks to achieve it? If you are, I know the "New Normal" healthier you is within your reach and I know how to get there!!

No professional athlete ever got great by occasionally training. No talented surgeon became great by entering an Operating Room now and then. Amazing parenting requires daily commitment. Amazing ANYTHING requires daily commitment. Greatness requires showing up, day after day. We have received Weight Loss Surgery (WLS) as a tool. That tool shows up every day. Do we? Do we show up to use that tool every day? Paraphrasing Newton's First Law, "Objects in motion tend to stay in motion and objects at rest tend to stay at rest." How does this apply to us? "Objects" (us!) sprawled across the sofa eating chips and believing they can't succeed tend to stay on the sofa eating chips not succeeding! "Objects" (us again!) eating healthy foods and exercising tend to remain eating healthy foods and exercising. We have all lived the experience of having Newton's Law work against us, which is how we qualified for WLS. How can you make Newton's Law work for you? What are you willing to do today, tomorrow and the next day to make Newton's Law work for you? I met today with a Life Coaching client who for medical reasons beyond her control cannot qualify for WLS so doesn't benefit from the tool we have all been granted. But she shows up every day for herself, walking briskly for an hour and eating primarily vegetables, fruit and lean sources of protein. Without our tool, she shows up! With our tool, how can you better show up in your own life? It's not hard to do and you can do it! Start small, so the change is sustainable, but make it consistent. Small changes add up to something valuable if repeated often enough. So what will you do? Will you take a 20 minute walk daily with your heart healthily pounding during your lunch hour? Will you ride your bike for 20 minutes up a 500 foot hill daily and then coast home? Will you briskly swim laps daily for 20 minutes at your local pool? Will you follow-up these activities with lean, healthy dinners? What I and my coaching clients have learned is that if we create daily programs for healthy living they are only hard to maintain for a few weeks and then we reap huge benefits in health, mobility and pride. Then the changes become the "New Normal." Consider....what would you like your "New Normal" to be? Are you willing to be uncomfortable for a few weeks to achieve it? If you are, I know the "New Normal" healthier you is within your reach and I know how to get there!!

Beachgurl84, "I quit smoking" vs. "I AM a non-smoker" is the kind of mindset shift that changes we you ARE! Brilliant!!!

I have a dream! That dream is to bring a Message Board to LIFE! I know it is possible because I have seen it happen. I've lived it. Imagine a Message Board in which you can hear each other, sometimes see each other, actually get to know each other in a deeper way than just typed words. Now imagine that a Weight Loss Surgery Coach moderates and guides the multi-sensory discussion, inviting self-inquiry in a safe environment within a small group. In a safe, nurturing group of eight beginning on October 19th we will make friends with our stressful, limiting beliefs about food and our bodies and transform our thoughts and behaviors. Have you ever noticed in the Message Boards how many of us have the same critical thinking about our bodies and our abilities (or inabilities) to relate to food in a healthy way? In this class, which will meet by phone in a conference-call, we will kindly and compassionately look at the beliefs we have created about our bodies and food, and consider: - Which of our beliefs are actually true? - Where did those beliefs come from and what unhealthy behaviors are triggered by them? - How do those beliefs serve us? - How do those beliefs limit us? - What beliefs can we create that may be truer, kinder and serve our health and well-being? Each week for 6 weeks our group will meet for 90 minutes together in which we will discuss and share the insights and struggles of each of our journeys with food and body image. Each week 1-2 participants will be coached by me on an issue common to us all. Then, for one hour during the week, in pairs, you will meet (by phone or Skype, your choice) with a different class-mate each week and coach each other on a body-image or food belief following easy steps I will teach you. This structure actually creates a support network that in prior groups has lived beyond the end of the class. The benefits of this class will include: - Greater awareness of the beliefs you have about your life that trigger unhealthy eating. - The creation of new, healthy beliefs about yourself that support healthy eating and healthy body image. - a plan for changing your unhealthy patterns into healthy patterns - you will learn to nourish yourself and your soul in ways that don't have calories. You will find that you need food less and less for comfort and more often for fuel. - A community that understands your challenges and supports you making the changes you want to make in your life. This group is only open to 8 participants to allow individual attention for each person over the course of our 6 weeks together. I have participated in and facilitated this group dynamic many times and it has allowed me and others to be free of damaging, hurtful beliefs about our bodies that triggered self-abusive eating. I am honored and delighted to guide this class and be taught by you as well. I am passionate about this work and I have witnessed its' power to transform. Will you join us? Group Details: 4:00 p.m. - 5:30 p.m. Pacific (7:00 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. Eastern) for 6 consecutive Sundays. October 19, 26, November 2 and 9, 16, 23, 2014. The last meeting will take place several days before Thanksgiving and will put us into a healthier, stronger frame of mind the the Holiday Season. To get more information, including cost, and to apply please email me at CoachMeSara@att.net or www.lifecoachsara.com to learn more about me and what I offer. There is an Early Bird discount until October 1, 2014. LET'S HEAL TOGETHER!!

I have a dream! That dream is to bring a Message Board to LIFE! I know it is possible because I have seen it happen. I've lived it. Imagine a Message Board in which you can hear each other, sometimes see each other, actually get to know each other in a deeper way than just typed words. Now imagine that a Weight Loss Surgery Coach moderates and guides the multi-sensory discussion, inviting self-inquiry in a safe environment within a small group. In a safe, nurturing group of eight beginning on October 19th we will make friends with our stressful, limiting beliefs about food and our bodies and transform our thoughts and behaviors. Have you ever noticed in the Message Boards how many of us have the same critical thinking about our bodies and our abilities (or inabilities) to relate to food in a healthy way? In this class, which will meet by phone in a conference-call, we will kindly and compassionately look at the beliefs we have created about our bodies and food, and consider: - Which of our beliefs are actually true? - Where did those beliefs come from and what unhealthy behaviors are triggered by them? - How do those beliefs serve us? - How do those beliefs limit us? - What beliefs can we create that may be truer, kinder and serve our health and well-being? Each week for 6 weeks our group will meet for 90 minutes together in which we will discuss and share the insights and struggles of each of our journeys with food and body image. Each week 1-2 participants will be coached by me on an issue common to us all. Then, for one hour during the week, in pairs, you will meet (by phone or Skype, your choice) with a different class-mate each week and coach each other on a body-image or food belief following easy steps I will teach you. This structure actually creates a support network that in prior groups has lived beyond the end of the class. The benefits of this class will include: - Greater awareness of the beliefs you have about your life that trigger unhealthy eating. - The creation of new, healthy beliefs about yourself that support healthy eating and healthy body image. - a plan for changing your unhealthy patterns into healthy patterns - you will learn to nourish yourself and your soul in ways that don't have calories. You will find that you need food less and less for comfort and more often for fuel. - A community that understands your challenges and supports you making the changes you want to make in your life. This group is only open to 8 participants to allow individual attention for each person over the course of our 6 weeks together. I have participated in and facilitated this group dynamic many times and it has allowed me and others to be free of damaging, hurtful beliefs about our bodies that triggered self-abusive eating. I am honored and delighted to guide this class and be taught by you as well. I am passionate about this work and I have witnessed its' power to transform. Will you join us? Group Details: 4:00 p.m. - 5:30 p.m. Pacific (7:00 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. Eastern) for 6 consecutive Sundays. October 19, 26, November 2 and 9, 16, 23, 2014. The last meeting will take place several days before Thanksgiving and will put us into a healthier, stronger frame of mind the the Holiday Season. To get more information, including cost, and to apply please email me at CoachMeSara@att.net or www.lifecoachsara.com to learn more about me and what I offer. There is an Early Bird discount until October 1, 2014. LET'S HEAL TOGETHER!!

Tony Robbins says, "“The secret to unleashing your true power is setting goals that are exciting enough that they truly inspire your creativity and ignite your passion.” I agree with this idea, I LIVE this idea and my clients who reach their weight loss and wellness goals LIVE this idea. It is a beautiful concept but it can be easy to get lost in the implementation of it. Everyone would like to unleash their true power to achieve the body they dream about! Everyone would like to be creatively inspired and ignite their inner passion to achieve physical health! So why does it seem that many people, maybe even most people, fall short of this desired state? Weight Loss Surgery is a great tool to help us along the way but something I realized, in the years after WLS as the pounds returned along with unhealthy thinking and calorie choices, was that the part of my body that REALLY needed surgery was my brain! Surgery changed my ability to use food in a certain way, but I was still left with two hands and a mouth, both programmed by my mind to look for soothing and comfort by lifting things from the fingers to the lips. WLS doesn't prevent us from continuing to harm ourselves with food. If we don't change our thinking and our beliefs about our lives and the place of food in our lives we will find creative ways to continue to seek comfort through unkindness to the body. How often have you eaten something that you knew would generate "dumping" or vomiting in search of a comforting sensation from food? I know I've done this. One way to change the trajectory of our relationships with food after surgery is to actually consider with the help of another person what we are trying to achieve when we make unhealthy choices and to set small, achievable goals for slowly, kindly changing our relationships with food. Then, once these small changes are cemented in us we make another small change. After a few months who we ARE has changed. We become a healthier mind inhabiting a healthier body. The key is to start small. Set an achievable, small goal. Live that goal. Embody it for 3 weeks. Then make the next small change. And talk to someone about your thinking and self-limiting beliefs along the way. That will truly set you free from the post-surgical food and high-calorie liquid addictions that are so common. The clients I have partnered with have taught me that there is no goal too small and that the achieving of small goals over and over again is how we achieve what Tony Robbins describes......the source of power that exists in every human gets excited, inspired and comes to life with each small success. Then, once success is no longer surprising but is expected, inspiration and creativity arise within us and ignite our passion to create a level of health and wellness beyond our wildest dreams. At that point this journey becomes an "inner and outer party!" But it all starts with making a small change and embodying it for 3 weeks. My journey to lose 170 pounds and become a mountain climber (with a body people think is that of an Olympic athlete) began with cutting myself down from three 800 calorie Starbuck's drinks per day to three 500 calorie Starbuck's drinks per day......but it started!! That is the important thing! What small behavior would you like to get started changing today and who can help you change it? A Bariatric support group, a therapist or a certified Life Coach specializing in Bariatric Obesity can help you achieve the body and wellness you desire, help shift your beliefs about yourself, and end the struggle with food. Whatever path you choose make sure you have challenges and accountability. They are a recipe for success.

Tony Robbins says, "“The secret to unleashing your true power is setting goals that are exciting enough that they truly inspire your creativity and ignite your passion.” I agree with this idea, I LIVE this idea and my clients who reach their weight loss and wellness goals LIVE this idea. It is a beautiful concept but it can be easy to get lost in the implementation of it. Everyone would like to unleash their true power to achieve the body they dream about! Everyone would like to be creatively inspired and ignite their inner passion to achieve physical health! So why does it seem that many people, maybe even most people, fall short of this desired state? Weight Loss Surgery is a great tool to help us along the way but something I realized, in the years after WLS as the pounds returned along with unhealthy thinking and calorie choices, was that the part of my body that REALLY needed surgery was my brain! Surgery changed my ability to use food in a certain way, but I was still left with two hands and a mouth, both programmed by my mind to look for soothing and comfort by lifting things from the fingers to the lips. WLS doesn't prevent us from continuing to harm ourselves with food. If we don't change our thinking and our beliefs about our lives and the place of food in our lives we will find creative ways to continue to seek comfort through unkindness to the body. How often have you eaten something that you knew would generate "dumping" or vomiting in search of a comforting sensation from food? I know I've done this. One way to change the trajectory of our relationships with food after surgery is to actually consider with the help of another person what we are trying to achieve when we make unhealthy choices and to set small, achievable goals for slowly, kindly changing our relationships with food. Then, once these small changes are cemented in us we make another small change. After a few months who we ARE has changed. We become a healthier mind inhabiting a healthier body. The key is to start small. Set an achievable, small goal. Live that goal. Embody it for 3 weeks. Then make the next small change. And talk to someone about your thinking and self-limiting beliefs along the way. That will truly set you free from the post-surgical food and high-calorie liquid addictions that are so common. The clients I have partnered with have taught me that there is no goal too small and that the achieving of small goals over and over again is how we achieve what Tony Robbins describes......the source of power that exists in every human gets excited, inspired and comes to life with each small success. Then, once success is no longer surprising but is expected, inspiration and creativity arise within us and ignite our passion to create a level of health and wellness beyond our wildest dreams. At that point this journey becomes an "inner and outer party!" But it all starts with making a small change and embodying it for 3 weeks. My journey to lose 170 pounds and become a mountain climber (with a body people think is that of an Olympic athlete) began with cutting myself down from three 800 calorie Starbuck's drinks per day to three 500 calorie Starbuck's drinks per day......but it started!! That is the important thing! What small behavior would you like to get started changing today and who can help you change it? A Bariatric support group, a therapist or a certified Life Coach specializing in Bariatric Obesity can help you achieve the body and wellness you desire, help shift your beliefs about yourself, and end the struggle with food. Whatever path you choose make sure you have challenges and accountability. They are a recipe for success.

When a WLS patient meets whatever goal he or she has set many wonder what comes next? One client said, "The driving force of my life for 18 months was reaching the point I've now reached. Now what do I do?" She and others have expressed this feeling that they are suddenly without a mission, except to keep the weight off. But keeping the weight off can feel less exhilarating than the months of big weight drops and the attention from friends and family as our bodies shrunk before their eyes. It is important to cultivate a new passion once the passion for food is cut-off by surgery and the passion of extreme weight loss has been taken to its' end point. This should be an activity that we can embrace as much as we once embraced food and then the WLS journey. Also, it is best if the new activity is one that can't be enjoyed if the weight is regained. If chess becomes our new passion we can regain and still enjoy that passion. But if the new passion is mountain hiking, outrigger canoe racing, running half-marathons or cycling Centuries (100 miles) through wine country then we are more likely to have long-term success keeping the weight off. We go through a re-education process after surgery during the weight loss period. Reaching goal weight begins a new phase of re-education. So, consider, what activity requiring a slim, strong, healthy body would you like to check out? Think outside the box! This can be something completely new in your life....something that you never imagined would be possible for you. In my post- weight loss life I've become a long-distance hiker and skydiver. These are two activities I never thought would ever be an option for me. I also never dreamed of doing them and never thought they would be fun. But they are, to me. They are surprising sources of joy in my life. Look for the surprising sources of joy in your life. Rather than limiting yourself to the activities you think you would be interested in ask the question, "What do slim, fit, healthy people like to do?" Now make a list and one by one experiment with those activities. You might be very surprised that you come to love an activity you never thought would be "your cup of tea." The reason for this is that you are no longer who you were and it takes time for the mind to broaden its' thinking to embrace what the body is now capable of. A Life Coach can help with this. Also, Meet-ups at meetup.com are a great way to experience many different activities and see which are of interest to you. Hiking, running, cycling, swimming, sailing, canoeing, cross-training are all activities people enjoy together at meet-ups. You will gain new friendships with active people who have similar passions and that will fuel your new passion for an activity and lead to prolonged and permanent weight loss. Pick an activity and get started! (The photo above shows me sitting on the rocks while meet-up friends below me sit on the bench. We climbed from sea level to that spot twice and it was exhilarating. An unexpected, delightful passion!)

After Weight Loss surgery there are many months or years of losing excess weight during which we have a focus and a goal we are moving towards. We are moving towards a healthier body, possibly without obesity related diseases. We are moving towards a body-size that we may not have known since our teen years or maybe never. Oprah moved toward that famous size ten pair of Calvin Klein jeans, and many of us also have an outfit from our thin days as our "finish line." Some, like me, might just want to be able to fit into an airline seat again. I'd outgrown even the seatbelt extender and could not manage to crush my hips enough to fit into a coach seat at 333 pounds. When a WLS patient meets whatever goal he or she has set many wonder what comes next? One client said, "The driving force of my life for 18 months was reaching the point I've now reached. Now what do I do?" She and others have expressed this feeling that they are suddenly without a mission, except to keep the weight off. But keeping the weight off can feel less exhilarating than the months of big weight drops and the attention from friends and family as our bodies shrunk before their eyes. It is important to cultivate a new passion once the passion for food is cut-off by surgery and the passion of extreme weight loss has been taken to its' end point. This should be an activity that we can embrace as much as we once embraced food and then the WLS journey. Also, it is best if the new activity is one that can't be enjoyed if the weight is regained. If chess becomes our new passion we can regain and still enjoy that passion. But if the new passion is mountain hiking, outrigger canoe racing, running half-marathons or cycling Centuries (100 miles) through wine country then we are more likely to have long-term success keeping the weight off. We go through a re-education process after surgery during the weight loss period. Reaching goal weight begins a new phase of re-education. So, consider, what activity requiring a slim, strong, healthy body would you like to check out? Think outside the box! This can be something completely new in your life....something that you never imagined would be possible for you. In my post- weight loss life I've become a long-distance hiker and skydiver. These are two activities I never thought would ever be an option for me. I also never dreamed of doing them and never thought they would be fun. But they are, to me. They are surprising sources of joy in my life. Look for the surprising sources of joy in your life. Rather than limiting yourself to the activities you think you would be interested in ask the question, "What do slim, fit, healthy people like to do?" Now make a list and one by one experiment with those activities. You might be very surprised that you come to love an activity you never thought would be "your cup of tea." The reason for this is that you are no longer who you were and it takes time for the mind to broaden its' thinking to embrace what the body is now capable of. A Life Coach can help with this. Also, Meet-ups at meetup.com are a great way to experience many different activities and see which are of interest to you. Hiking, running, cycling, swimming, sailing, canoeing, cross-training are all activities people enjoy together at meet-ups. You will gain new friendships with active people who have similar passions and that will fuel your new passion for an activity and lead to prolonged and permanent weight loss. Pick an activity and get started! (The photo above shows me sitting on the rocks while meet-up friends below me sit on the bench. We climbed from sea level to that spot twice and it was exhilarating. An unexpected, delightful passion!)

Prior to Weight Loss Surgery (WLS) I had never considered that my relationship with food was unloving to my body and my spirit. I just knew I had impulses deep within me for comfort that food seemed to sooth and that I couldn't seem to "control" and I knew my body was unhealthy because of them. I would start the day at 7:00am when the alarm sounded and with my first semi-conscious thought I'd think, "Today's the day I change it all!" That thought would be followed within moments by the dreadful thought, "I wonder how long I'll make it today before I screw it all up? 9:30 a.m.? 10:30 a.m.?" Because, without exception, the thought always came that I was destined to screw it up. It was only a matter of time. So I was unloving toward myself with this thought too. Then, when at whatever hour I did "screw up," the thoughts came about being a failure; a fat, out-of-control, slovenly failure! After WLS this continued and was often worse, since the pressure was "on" to lose and not regain. Everyone knew I'd had surgery and would know I was a failure on a whole new level if I didn't lose or regained. How's that for unloving thinking? WLS surgery may prevent, for a while, the eating of large meals but it does not remove from us the need to break unhealthy patterns of thought or behavior with food and create healthy loving patterns in their place. When this work is not done a new kind of hellish relationship with food can begin and along with it continue all those unloving thoughts, which actually get worse much of the time. On Message Boards and on Facebook I'm reading posts from people who have recently received surgery and are surprised to discover how much of the work they must still do, rather than the surgery doing the work. There are also the posts from people who received surgery months, even years in the past, who are struggling with unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. Often, these are new behaviors that came into existence when the path to the pre-surgery behavior is blocked by the anatomical changes of surgery. When an RNY patient post-op tries to eat a plate of french fries and reports being drawn to fried foods, even more than before surgery although there is physical pain each time, that is a new unloving, unhealthy behavior. When a LapBand patient considers "productive burping" or PBing a positive way to enjoy food and then vomit it without digesting and absorbing calories or nutrients that is a new unloving, unhealthy behavior. When a WLS patient stops exercising and stops eating protein and vegetables first and foremost, relying on liquid forms of caffeine and sugar for energy, that is a new unhealthy behavior. I know this experience firsthand. When I was newly "banded" in 2003 I would enjoy eating 2 shrimp and know that eating the third shrimp, which I of course ate, would bring-on pain and vomiting. Every meal ended at the railing of my deck with me vomiting into my backyard and I actually thought that was a good thing! I got to enjoy the shrimp and then...it was gone! Within 2 years I was living on liquids, with tight LapBand adjustments so that a sip of coffee sat uncomfortably in my stoma for many minutes before dribbling down. Eventually I ate large meals anyway so my esophagus became distended and stretched and is now capable of storing a large meal above the LapBand. These surgeries are not cure-alls, as we are all warned before we receive them. I am shocked by how much we, me included, don't heed the warnings and find ourselves wandering down new, dangerous paths. If this is happening to you it is vitally important to work with someone who can help you with your thought patterns and behaviors. You can do this with a therapist, a nutritionist, a Certified Life Coach specializing in Bariatrics or a great support group. It is vital to create a place where it is safe for you to get help early with any unhealthy new behaviors that arise before they do real damage to the body and become entrenched in your mind. Being morbidly obese is just an outward manifestation of behavior and beliefs that are unloving to us. Without addressing specifically those beliefs it will be difficult for most to experience an end to unloving, even violent, acts against the body and spirit as well as develop a healthy relationship with food long-term.

For JustWatchMe, The magic is in you, not the band. It's a tool, like a hammer. A hammer doesn't make a beautiful table. A carpenter does. You are the carpenter. You have the free will to make gorgeous furniture or smash your thumb! Make beautiful furniture with your tool.

Thank you Jack, Prudence and 1Day. I'm so glad the article was helpful and the truths I see and feel had some meaning for you.

Others may feel self-conscious or unattractive because an extreme weight loss leaves them with skin folds or scars. They sometimes feel that surgery did them no good because their bodies still stand-out in public and in private as unusual. One client referred to it as the "Is That All There Is?" syndrome. She said she somehow believed that losing 150 pounds would leave her with a body that society would consider beautiful and what she got was abdominal flesh hanging over her thighs. I notice this is especially true when a person going into the surgical process is focused on getting thin or attractive rather than on getting healthy. There can also be problems in intimate relationships. One woman spoke of her husband's lack of interest in her sexually. In all other ways the relationship was healthy so they were able to talk about it. What she learned was that after the weight loss her husband felt unworthy of her because he was still overweight. He also lost his sexual confidence when his overweight wife, in his words, became "one of the girls in high school who wouldn't give me the time of day." Also, if a WLS patient has early-life traumas unaddressed or not completely addressed prior to surgery the loss of food as a way to placate stress and to reduce anxiety can be a new source of trauma. This leaves many facing a very difficult transition to a life not centered around food. All of these stressors and others are a breeding ground for cross-addictions. It is vital to consider before surgery and in the "thinning" months and years after surgery how you will deal with stress, sadness, fear, loneliness, anxiety, or whatever thoughts and feelings triggered emotional eating in the past. If there is no healthy outlet for these the body and mind will create whatever outlets they can, which most commonly include alcohol, drugs, sex or gambling. The problem of replacing food addiction with alcohol addiction is the one I have personal experience with and have seen the most in people I've encountered. In 2006, three years after LapBand surgery, I developed an addiction to alcohol. I had lost food as my companion, soother of stress, provider of sensual satisfaction and entertainment. I was not able to eat the comfort foods that placated my fears of life prior to WLS and I desperately craved an outlet for uncomfortable emotions and beliefs I took-on and began running from during my childhood in a violent home. So three years after WLS, and after loosing 110 pounds, my dinner every night became a 6-pack of Vodka coolers or more (Sour Apple or Grape) and ironically Healthy Choice low-fat ice cream. At my lowest I was 220 pounds and I felt very uncomfortable and vulnerable in a smaller body. I continued to wear large, baggy clothes because I was afraid to look feminine. Feminine to me then meant I was vulnerable and open to attack. This went on for a year, during which I regained all 110 pounds lost and felt like a failure. Worse, I felt like a public failure because everyone around me knew I'd had LapBand surgery. What I had to do was address the beliefs and fears I had about what it meant to be feminine. I had to come to terms with my past and embrace a future in which it is possible and within reach to be healthy, feminine and safe. To avoid cross-addictions, it is important that individuals considering surgery or those who have had surgery take this very personal, individual journey into the beliefs they hold onto from their pasts. These are the beliefs that caused them to turn to food in an unhealthy way for comfort. It is vitally important to plan what healthy outlets for emotional pain they can create. A therapist or Weight Loss Life Coach can help with this. Dealing with the thoughts and emotions that caused compulsive overeating in the past and forming healthy patterns for working with and releasing fear and anxiety in the future are essential to long-term weight loss and the avoidance of cross-addictions for WLS patients.

Because, without exception, the thought always came that I was destined to screw it up. It was only a matter of time. So I was unloving toward myself with this thought too. Then, when at whatever hour I did "screw up," the thoughts came about being a failure; a fat, out-of-control, slovenly failure! After WLS this continued and was often worse, since the pressure was "on" to lose and not regain. Everyone knew I'd had surgery and would know I was a failure on a whole new level if I didn't lose or regained. How's that for unloving thinking? WLS surgery may prevent, for a while, the eating of large meals but it does not remove from us the need to break unhealthy patterns of thought or behavior with food and create healthy loving patterns in their place. When this work is not done a new kind of hellish relationship with food can begin and along with it continue all those unloving thoughts, which actually get worse much of the time. On Message Boards and on Facebook I'm reading posts from people who have recently received surgery and are surprised to discover how much of the work they must still do, rather than the surgery doing the work. There are also the posts from people who received surgery months, even years in the past, who are struggling with unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. Often, these are new behaviors that came into existence when the path to the pre-surgery behavior is blocked by the anatomical changes of surgery. When an RNY patient post-op tries to eat a plate of french fries and reports being drawn to fried foods, even more than before surgery although there is physical pain each time, that is a new unloving, unhealthy behavior. When a LapBand patient considers "productive burping" or PBing a positive way to enjoy food and then vomit it without digesting and absorbing calories or nutrients that is a new unloving, unhealthy behavior. When a WLS patient stops exercising and stops eating protein and vegetables first and foremost, relying on liquid forms of caffeine and sugar for energy, that is a new unhealthy behavior. I know this experience firsthand. When I was newly "banded" in 2003 I would enjoy eating 2 shrimp and know that eating the third shrimp, which I of course ate, would bring-on pain and vomiting. Every meal ended at the railing of my deck with me vomiting into my backyard and I actually thought that was a good thing! I got to enjoy the shrimp and then...it was gone! Within 2 years I was living on liquids, with tight LapBand adjustments so that a sip of coffee sat uncomfortably in my stoma for many minutes before dribbling down. Eventually I ate large meals anyway so my esophagus became distended and stretched and is now capable of storing a large meal above the LapBand. These surgeries are not cure-alls, as we are all warned before we receive them. I am shocked by how much we, me included, don't heed the warnings and find ourselves wandering down new, dangerous paths. If this is happening to you it is vitally important to work with someone who can help you with your thought patterns and behaviors. You can do this with a therapist, a nutritionist, a Certified Life Coach specializing in Bariatrics or a great support group. It is vital to create a place where it is safe for you to get help early with any unhealthy new behaviors that arise before they do real damage to the body and become entrenched in your mind. Being morbidly obese is just an outward manifestation of behavior and beliefs that are unloving to us. Without addressing specifically those beliefs it will be difficult for most to experience an end to unloving, even violent, acts against the body and spirit as well as develop a healthy relationship with food long-term.