Spaness2012

This week I have been confronted with more and more people noticing my "physical changes". This makes me feel very vulnerable and I am not sure why? I have been heavy my whole life and I think, for the most part, I have "accepted" this about myself. Even "identified" with being heavy. With time, I have compensated by having a BIG personality in order to be "seen". I drove myself to accomplish many things. For instance, I was a good student, I worked very hard on my career and got promoted because of it, I am a good friend, sister, daughter, etc. I really felt that, aside from my weight, I have a lot to offer to the world and I am displaying this in other aspects of my life. Until my weight became a VERY unhealthy issue, I really didn't think it held me back from living my life. The more people focus on my physical changes...the more I want to hide. Hiding was never an issue when I was heavier. I have noticed that taking a compliment has been difficult, that the more people focus on how "good" I look...the more I have tuned down my personality in order to now take the focus off myself. My brain still has not caught up with the changes my body has made. I am hoping the journey will help understand these new feelings and vulnerabilities. Perhaps accepting a new identity and a new normal. I am learning a lot about myself and as much excitement this process brings....it's also dusting up fears that I didn't even know I had.

This week I have been confronted with more and more people noticing my "physical changes". This makes me feel very vulnerable and I am not sure why? I have been heavy my whole life and I think, for the most part, I have "accepted" this about myself. Even "identified" with being heavy. With time, I have compensated by having a BIG personality in order to be "seen". I drove myself to accomplish many things. For instance, I was a good student, I worked very hard on my career and got promoted because of it, I am a good friend, sister, daughter, etc. I really felt that, aside from my weight, I have a lot to offer to the world and I am displaying this in other aspects of my life. Until my weight became a VERY unhealthy issue, I really didn't think it held me back from living my life. The more people focus on my physical changes...the more I want to hide. Hiding was never an issue when I was heavier. I have noticed that taking a compliment has been difficult, that the more people focus on how "good" I look...the more I have tuned down my personality in order to now take the focus off myself. My brain still has not caught up with the changes my body has made. I am hoping the journey will help understand these new feelings and vulnerabilities. Perhaps accepting a new identity and a new normal. I am learning a lot about myself and as much excitement this process brings....it's also dusting up fears that I didn't even know I had.

This week I have been confronted with more and more people noticing my "physical changes". This makes me feel very vulnerable and I am not sure why? I have been heavy my whole life and I think, for the most part, I have "accepted" this about myself. Even "identified" with being heavy. With time, I have compensated by having a BIG personality in order to be "seen". I drove myself to accomplish many things. For instance, I was a good student, I worked very hard on my career and got promoted because of it, I am a good friend, sister, daughter, etc. I really felt that, aside from my weight, I have a lot to offer to the world and I am displaying this in other aspects of my life. Until my weight became a VERY unhealthy issue, I really didn't think it held me back from living my life. The more people focus on my physical changes...the more I want to hide. Hiding was never an issue when I was heavier. I have noticed that taking a compliment has been difficult, that the more people focus on how "good" I look...the more I have tuned down my personality in order to now take the focus off myself. My brain still has not caught up with the changes my body has made. I am hoping the journey will help understand these new feelings and vulnerabilities. Perhaps accepting a new identity and a new normal. I am learning a lot about myself and as much excitement this process brings....it's also dusting up fears that I didn't even know I had.

Yep... can you believe it? I'm back! I'm feeling pretty good today - except pretty sore... but no worries - I stuck to the pre-op diet (no problem there.. and totally avoided temptation!!) AND best of all? Just finished with my workout! Yay!! Actually I got up this morning - forced myself out of bed, did some morning stretches to warm up and then jumped on the bike for a bit and went for a little ride.. That definitely woke me up!! However today at work - I noticed I was still a bit sore (even after doing cool down stretches) so of course I was determined to make sure I got some cardio in... I mixed it up though - I just danced.. heh heh...a bit weird right? Yep right here in my living room.. just turned on the music and danced.. and you know what? I had FUN!! and wow was I sweating... I soooo love Pandora's Latin Workout Radio.. that kept me going for a good 30 minutes and even better? I burned a cool 350 calories whoo hoo!! I love that I made the purchase of a heart rate monitor - at least it gives me an idea of what I am burning - and when I need to step it up or slow it down!
 
I think for this whole 'exercise thing' to work for me - in addition to keeping myself in a routine of my cardio workouts on the bike and the elliptical along with the weights to tone - I think I will have to have some fun too.. and I'm thinking dancing should do it! It was a bit weird for me (as I've never been a GREAT dancer) but hey.. I'm MOVING this body of mine and enjoying every minute of it... pretty cool... found something new...
 
Anywho - Just wanted to keep the lapband world out there updated.. Thanks again to all of you who keep me inspired!! Toodles!!

Where do I start.....I want to be...no I AM going to be a great success story.
 
My story...I was banded March 18, 2013. Starting weight...gasp...326...weight right now...291....YES!!! 35 flipping pounds. Havent lost that much on a diet since FEN-Phen..in 1995. And I am still going. My family is very supportive. The husband couldnt be happier. I am making this work. ME!!!
 
I think this is the best thing I have ever done! I cannot lie and say part of me didnt take my relationship into account. I did not do this solely for myself. I did it also for a healthier, happier, sexier, and deeper relationship. But, in the end, it was ME that did it, I did it for ME to be happier. And oh baby am I ever...ALREADY!! Its only been 2 months into this process, I cannot fathom a year from now.
 
So, I have a long-term goal. I want to be 190 pounds. More will be fine...even though the other half doesnt want me "too skinny"...whatever that is...lol. I just want under 200. Not seen that number since high school. I would say I want to be a size 12...but Im not sure what poundage goes with sizes...so I just go with pounds.
 
I have set a mini-goal for my self. My youngest step-daughter graduates high school June 7. I want to loose a total of 50 pounds by then...which means I only have 15 left to go...in 2 months. Which is sooo totally do-able. I will have to increase that weight loss shortly!!! HAHA!!
 
So this is me. The beginning of my story. Watch and see where I go....

So my big butt was so big it could hold a serving tray. Well it is gone! I need a butt lift and I still have a lot to lose. My husband said I need to have the fat sucked from the belly and put into the butt. I told him they do that in Brazil. Brazil, here we come? It is a nice feeling to know that huge monster is gone and there is still room for improvement. I have a lot of belly fat. I go to the gym but I am sure I need to something else to work it off. The fat took many years to get there and it will take some time to get off the body. my fatonmythighs have lost at least 6" since September (that was when I started taking measurements).
I hope every one realizes that inches count as much as numbers on the metal monster when losing.
Every one enjoy your thinner day, off to the gym now.
:wub:Arlene

One of the best parts of getting back on track and living like a compliant bandster is the amazing food I get to eat. Nope, not kidding. I happen to be a pretty darned good cook. The problem is that when I'm not living right with my band, I get lazy. Cooking for one person half the time just doesn't seem "worth it," as if I'm not worth taking care of as much as the other people I cook for. That leads to take out, dining out, fast food, convenience foods, and processed foods. And that leads to weight gain. But when I'm concentrating on improving my life by working with the band, I eat not only healthier foods, but often tastier ones as well.
 
Just in the past week, I made band friendly versions of beef Bourguignon, macaroni and cheese, braised chicken thighs with mushroom sauce, and for dinner tonight, Asian lettuce wraps with chicken and vegetables. It's all fresh, high protein, low fat, unprocessed, organic, and so much better than anything I could get at a supermarket or a cheap restaurant that it makes me shake my head that I ever made those choices. Even with the band, I love to cook, I love to eat, and I love flavorful foods. Now, I'm just finding ways to eat them the right way in the right amounts with the right ingredients.
 
And it just rocks!

This is probably one of the most destructive lies that my head hunger tells me...

Today I'm one month post up I down 15 pounds!! I'm continuing to learn more everyday and follow the rules!

I love food, I mean really love food (which is why I hit 247). I have always been a foodie. While sweets were never a huge pull for me, I find myself wanting them more now, but I have managed to stay away from them except special occassions.
 
I am and always have been a protein / carb girl. I am mildly adventurous, willing to try new foods and such. Since being banded I have found I like: Greek Yogurt, couscous, beans. I eat a lot more fish (talapia, salmon, mackeral).
 
Being that I love to cook I am always researching new things and new ways of cooking.
 
I still, however, do enjoy going out to eat. What I like best is having someone else clean the kitchen!
 
Last night, Valentines, the hub wanted to go to the 1st resturant we ever went to. That resturant is On the Border, which serves southwest style food. I love southwest/mexi, but it is loaded with salt and calories. I downloaded the nutrition and was shocked the my southwest chicken taco's were 1200 calories- ouch. I found that the fajita mix was a better choice, I was able to order the chicken with grilled onion, pepper, zuchini, with no sides (beans, rice, tortillas). I ate just the meat and veggie and ask for sauce on the side (which I only used a bit of). Since I hadn't been there since surgery this really showed how my eating has changes.
 
Before surgery I would eat the meat, veggies, rice, beans, tortillas and a dessert. Last night I wasn't even able to get down all of the meat and veggies. Wow, what a change. My husband said he was so proud of me.
 
I went home feeling good and not over stuffed. Yes, this morning my weight was up by a pound, the salt really worked on me.
 
So today I am drinking my water like a made woman and cutting the salt back.
 
I guess this is what life should be like, not giving up the food we love, just cutting back on the amount and making adjustment for the bad stuff.
 
What in the heck did I learn this years ago??

I have really been doing great. I went to the gym on thur, and fri. I rested the weekend. And Today I met with my personal trainer. Well low and behold, got weighted in today and I'm weighing in at 227. I'm Happy and I hope to keep this up. Have a good day all. :wub:

This weekend my husband & I went to Lubbock, Texas for the Wine Chocolate Fantasia at Llano Estacado Winery. This is an annual event and is both a fund raiser for the ACF Texas Panhandle Chefs de Cuisine and the West Texas Parkinsonism Society; as well as a chocolate competition. There are entries from amateurs, professionals and chefs. The evening includes many of Llano Estacado’s wines for sampling.
 
It was quite enjoyable hanging around barrels of aging wine, sampling some interesting chocolate creations and sipping on my favorite wines.
 
I consumed about 800 calories this evening; pure sugar and fat calories. My total calories for the day were 1600. I am at goal and that is the only reason I chose to attend this event. I would never recommend anyone still losing to attempt managing an evening like this. I don’t know the actual calorie count for the chocolate I sampled nor do I know their actual weight so I took my best guess.
 
Why am I telling you about this? Two reasons; it was fun and I want to share my experience managing the maintenance lifestyle. I know that I am going to attend things where the only choice is wasted calories, full of fat. As long as I stay in moderation I will be successful.
 
I planned for this event I knew I would be eating chocolate and drinking wine. I knew about how much I wanted to have before I arrived and I stuck to that. The evening was an absolute blast.

The band continues to amaze me. I am down 2 lbs since last week and I haven't even been trying. Granted I am not eating recklessly or anything but I have been eating normal (for bandsters) portions which I don't have to measure anymore thanks to 26 months of practice.... But I had a few bites of cheese cake for my birthday and ate out alot this week due to a busy social week....and I was sure I would have gained a lb or 2 ... And I actually lost 2 lbs. the band is doing exactly what I hoped it would do!!

Good afternoon from blizzard Boston.
In the local paper there was an article from Soma Intimates. They said that when women that leave their abusive person they usually forget bras. So Soma is collecting used and new bras for DOVE. I know having lost weight I have many large sized bras. Maybe some of you do to and we can all donate them.
Enjoy your TGIF.

Moved to solid foods on Friday, not only have Mistress Band and I not been on the best of terms since then, my weight loss stopped.
 
This is why when we talk about calories in versus calories out, we always need to look at the big picture rather than the daily total. Once my body gets used to what I am feeding it, the loss will start up again. Until then I just need to concentrate on making sure that I am eating what and how much I am supposed to, getting my water and exercise in.
 
On the plus side, I had my first spin class yesterday and survived.

I still don't understand my body and why it does the things it does. I have slowly been building up my daily calories as I work through the mushie stage, my goal is 1300 a day. Well for some reason yesterday I just had the urge to graze, and the only way I kept my net calories at 1300 was to exercise. I wanted to eat all day long. Now today, I am having a hard time getting down 900 calories, I simply have not been hungry all day long. Add 550 calories of exercise on top and MFP is going to yell at me
 
Same foods, no emotional upsets, but my body is behaving totally different. It will be interesting to step on the scale tomorrow morning and see what other surprises my body has in store for me. This is one of the reason that while I am a firm believer in the burn more calories than you consume weight loss formula, I also believe that this is a "big picture" paradigm and only really works over the long term.

I Corinthians 10:13 ESV
13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it
 
 
I have seen a common theme in the posts of new banders, and it is "I don't know if I can do this, what if I fail?" This where the I draw solace from the stories of our veterans, successful or not. I know that I am not going into uncharted territory, that someone has been there before me, faced the same issues as I will and they were successful, and if they were successful, I can be as well. It is also one of the reasons that I answer the posts that I do, not because I have all the answers (or really, any of them), but it is just to let people know that they aren't alone, that yes it sucks right now, but there is an end to it and they need to focus on their goal, they too can reach the other side.
 
 
Oh, and the verse also speaks to the care and control that God exercises in our lives, but that is a topic for a different blog

Well it's been an odd week for me. The hubs Big 40 was last week. We had a party for him last Sunday night. Instead of B-day cake he wanted his fave cheesecake and I made brownies to. Most of the left overs I sent home with friends. Kept a couple and we had those the first of the week.
 
Mid-week my PMS mode hit, which means grumpy and craving. Since being banded I haven't really had any horrible cravings for sweets, I've wanted them, but not to the point I have this week. I am guessing this is a case of your mind gets a little and it wants more of that drug.
 
On Friday of this week NC got hit with an ice storm - nothing horrible, but enough to send us home from work and keep us in until afternoon on Saturday. Friday my hubs wanted pizza. Well this hasn't been an issue for me before, but.... I ordered a large since I could get it for free, just figured we would eat on it for a couple of days (WRONG). For lunch I was starved and ate 2 slices of my veggie side and felt way to full (I know this wasn't good for my band and I shouldn't have, but I can't change what was only what is to come), at dinner I wasn't really hungry, but at another piece anyway and felt even worse. By bedtime I felt like crap. My tummy hurt and I felt bloated. Lesson learned....
 
I am feeling like I am reverting back to my old ways and that scares me worse than anything. My band is there to help me, but if I refuse to listen to it, it can't and won't help. I know that I must get back on track and get myself back on the plan and biggest thing listen to my band.
 
As my mom said when I was little there is a big difference in hearing and listening. I hear my band tell me no I don't want that, but I ignored it this weekend. Today after returning home from my Dad's 65th b-day party I found myself standing in my kitchen looking around for something to eat, yet I wasn't hungry.
 
My feeling down and out today doesn't help eating issues, but at least I am realizing what triggers I have and trying to change which I have not done in the past.
 
While at Dad's party, sitting with my niece who is a cute perky 17 year old size 0, I watched what and how she ate. She ate really slow. She got up to toss her plate and still had half of her cake and some ice cream on it- she said she was full. I guess that is why she is a size 0. She opts to stop when she is full no matter how much is left on her plate. This is something I can learn from her.
 
Like I have often said this journey isn't the easy every day, but it is a journey worth making. For those of you support and encourage me thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know I am going to fall from time to time on my journey and it helps having the awesome people on this site to help me stand back up and keep moving forward.

This morning I did my norm morning routine. Got up pottied and got on the scale before dressing (TMI I know, but it is always best to weigh in you birthday suit). The hubs walks in and hugs me and says "geez I can reach my elbows when I wrap my arms around you". Then he said "I'm proud of you babe, but don't get so skinny I have to shake the sheets to find ya".
 
For those who don't know my husband is visually impaired. His vision is 20/800 - legally blind since birth. Granted he is well educated graduated with honors with a degree in computer science and is a well respected software engineer. He just can't see very well. So it's always been the running joke that he feel for me because I was large print (he always replied to that with you said that not me). Now he is joking saying I am getting so small he won't be able to see me anymore.
 
The joking is all in fun- he is very supportive of my weight loss journey and is helping me leaps and bounds.
 
But I must say it would be nice for him to have to shake the sheets to find me

I packed my normal breakfast of a Protein shake and a some steel cut oats, and drank my shake when I got to my desk. a couple of hours later I was hungry again and pulled my oatmeal out. Then Mistress Band spoke, "I'm not eating that stuff, get me some more protein!" So down to the cafeteria for a couple for eggs and hash browns, threw 3/4 of the hash browns away, and Mistress Band is now one happy camper.
 
When I woke up this morning, I was feeling pretty lethargic, I knew I had been doing a lot of physical labor on 1300 calories a day with the constant snow fall here, but I thought I had been allowing for that. My body disagreed, and a real part of my journey is learning to listen to my band and my body.
 
Food for thought.

Two months ago my doctor said as far as they were concerned I was at goal, 175 lbs. I was happy with that and started onto the maintenance stage of my journey.
 
Last month I gained 2 lbs, first time I had a gain but hey holidays. Doctor’s office was still very pleased and said that my weight will vary like that on maintenance.
 
Then a dear friend here on LBT put out a challenge “100 miles in January”. Walk or run 100 miles during the month of January. I was in! I needed something to get me moving more. I reached the 100 miles on Monday; my total should be around 120 miles for the month. (go me!)
 
Today I went back to the doctor, weighed 171! (lost 6 pounds in 4 weeks) I haven’t seen that much loss since the beginning months of this journey. So, what did I do different? My eating was the same as it has always been 1200 calories a day, etc…. The only thing different is the increased walking for the challenge.
 
I am so happy with myself. I couldn’t ask for anything more. Okay, maybe a tummy tuck and….. Well guess I could ask for more.
 
I love & respect my band. Yellow rose you serve me well, thank you!

I have read so many times that people "Can eat more then they should" with their band. But let me tell you what is going to happen if you continue to eat more then you should. 1) Your pouch is going to dilate and cause problems 2) over eating and food backing up in to the esophagus is going to cause your esophagus to expand and make it slow down when pushing the food through the pouch. 3) Cause band erosion. Every single time you over eat, you are forcing your band into the stomach wall and causing pressure. This pressure will continue until it cause the band to wear in to your stomach. Once erosion happens you can say good bye to your band.
 
 
Just because you can eat more then a cup of food does not mean you should. Eat what your supposed to and then if you are hungry a few hour later then eat again but do not over eat.
 
All of these things can be avoided if you just do what you are supposed too. Stop over eating. There is no need to anymore. If you want your band then follow the rules if you don't then continue on your binging over eating ways and you will surely lose it.

Hi everyone,
 
Wanted to get people's thoughts or see if they have gone through any similar expiriences, because I am a bit baffled from what is going on inside my head.
 
My journey is going great, found my green zone and have learned (through better or worse) how to eat slowly and properly. Sometimes it seems that I am eating way to little, but my body is reacting amazingly well and I've personally never felt better.
 
I got surgery Sept. 2012, a bit over 4 months out and my weight loss is 65 lbs. That's amazing right? well thats my issue. Even though I am so happy that my body has dropped all this weight and I'm looking better than ever (haven't been this small since high school), I feel my brain hasn't quite caught up to the new me.
 
I get so much more attention from people (especially men) and I am no longer looked at as a "fat" person. I guess the quick transformation hasn't quite processed inside of me because in many ways I see myself the same. Every day the mirror surprises me, I am amazed.
 
Daily things like figuring out what to wear cause me anxiety especially because I don't want to purchase too much until I reach my goal.
 
I am so grateful but not gonna lie a bit anxious....

I was banded on 1/7/13 and one of the things that my instructions talked about was that during the "Healing Phase" of my eating, many patients stop losing or actually gain weight. With this in mind I have been very careful to log all my food and count calories Even thought my NUT said that calorie counting wasn't necessary, she told me to shoot for between 1300 - 1500. So, this morning I was able to go back to one of my pre-band rituals of Saturday morning breakfast with a friend, but I was scared because I was flying solo, no scale, no measuring cups, just me and "Mistress Band".
 
So, the result? I ordered two eggs and hash browns, I pre-cut all my food to the proper size, and tried to focus on the conversation and my eating. Pretty soon I hit a soft stop (hiccup) and then each bite I started asking myself why I was taking that bite. When the answer because "Because it tastes so good" I put my fork down and moved the plate out of reach.
 
At that point, I was satisfied, not full, but satisfied and it looking at my plate, I realized that I had eaten about the same as I would have if I had pre-measured it. Maybe one day, I will be able to move rely totally on listening to my body and my band, but until then, I will log and count.

So a banded friend tells me..."I can eat 3 cups of salad before I'm full". Ummmm, yea? My response "doesnt mean you should eat 3 cups". Her response was that we are supposed to eat until your full.
 
No, that is such a false statement. You still need portion control. If I am still hungry after eating, I wait the 30 minutes after eating then I start drinking my liquids. If you are not getting your liquids in every day, your full spot will trick you into wanting more food. I'm sorry, but I just don't think there's a lot of truthfulness about why the band isn't working for some people. I can sit and eat chocolate pudding and candybars and a bunch of other crap, then post my menu and say I'm eating a well balanced diet....that doesn't do me any good.
 
I GAINED 2 POUNDS IN 6 WEEKS BECAUSE I WAS NOT EXCERCISING OR EATING PROPERLY. I was sooo proud of my 31 lb loss that I got cocky and thought I needed to reward myself with foods and treats that didn't comply with my instructions. I screwed up, not the band. Well, since my fill last Friday I am down those 2 lbs plus 1. I contribute that to following instructions.
 
The first and most important process to this journey is being honest with yourself, if you mess up, recognize it accept the consequences (possible weightgain), fix it and move forward. I have only been banded for 6 months, I don't want or expect to lose all my weight in the first year. I don't want to...I want it to come off slow and steady.
 
Does the band work for everyone? No, some have true medical complications, some are just not using it correctly. Some are relying on the band to work for them instead of using the band as the tool it was meant to be. If you follow instructions to the letter, excercise 2-3 times per week, be patient with the weightloss process....the weight will eventually come off. Maybe not as fast as others, or in the first year. It wasn't meant to be a quick fix. Frustration is just an emotion, don't let it consume you or drive you. You have to take the wheel on this journey. So many say if I had the will power I wouldn't have had the surgery...it's not about will power. It's about following instructions. My will power sucked before the band, but I would have never of gotten the band if I wasn't ready to put those feelings aside and just do the work. Got a sweet tooth, then find a recipe for a desert you can have. Be prepared. Have the need for some comfort food, MAKE IT!! But use lower fat and carb options. Its all out there. Yes, some things are a little more expensive, but you won' be eating as much so it will last longer.
This is solely my entitled opinon...and I am sure that some will agree, some will disagree and others will feel the need to "set the record straight". That's fine. Just make sure you are honest with yourself before commenting.
 
Anyway...that's my rant.
 
Breakfast:
Mocha protein shake
 
Lunch:
LC/LF chicken enchilada
 
Dinner:
White bean chili
 
Chai tea
water with MIO
Multivitamin
 
1 Cor. 15:33 My bible verse for today.