wannabhealthymedic

I am just months away from turning 30 years old. Not that big of a deal to me as far as years go but I am truly sad to say that weight has been an issue for more than 2/3 of my life. I remember being a child and listening to the grown-ups talk, saying "Oh, it's just baby fat. She will grow out of it I am sure" and then later "Well she has big bones and broad shoulders" as a way to explain away why I weighed so much. I was an anxious kid because of fighting parents and an ugly divorce that had me walking on egg shells. I didn't want to upset anyone so I kept myself pacified and comforted with food. When my mouth was full I was happy and with so much fighting and drama I clung to what little happiness I could manage. Add to that the poverty we faced and it adds another layer to the story. When you only have a few dollars to feed your family it really becomes a matter of quantity over quality. My dad honestly did the best he could with what he was handed but that still doesn’t mean I haven’t had to live with the result of that every day since I became an adult myself and learned what being healthy really meant. Now it is a constant battle to reach for the salad instead of the bread; grab a bottle of water and not a can of soda. I need help. I have the knowledge of how to be healthy and I have most of the tools. Now I need the spark that will ignite the powder keg, kick start me into action and then make me accountable for maintaining the ground I gain. Thus I find myself here, about to take the leap.