meyouus

Why are you eating? What are you hungry for? It's not food! This is a page I came across while looking for help. It's a discussion about those very questions, based on the novel by Geneen Roth, "Women, food and God"...she and Oprah Winfrey talk it out. It's quite eye opening! Give it a glance... http://www.oprah.com/health/Geneen-Roth-Talks-to-Oprah-About-Women-Food-And-God#ixzz1rBz5ovTo

LOL! I feel for ya. But don't ask ME to get down on MY knees...I just had both replaced, and they give you an "Oh no you don't!" feeling when you kneel on them. An indescribabley weird, unpleasant feeling. You'll have to use one of those claw grabbers, dahling!

Just so long as you don't get crumbs in your keyboard, or book!

I will, I will! jeesh. :ph34r: ...and thanks...

maddysgram, I have yet to read the book, I was going to buy it last week, but instead chose to buy Jean McMillan's Bandwagon book. When I'm done (if you ever really stop needing it!) I plan on moving on to Ms. Roth's book. I had heard from the author herself that it wasn't about "God", but more spiritual than anything. Good to know from a reader she wasn't lying!

Well, welcome to the Club!

Weight Loss Surgery.

wtloss, even with all I have been through, I know that there are many who have been through more. Or if only one thing has happened to them, maybe it affected them much harder than my crap did. IDK, everybody has their own demons and how it affects them. I had some training on how to handle others with crisis', not much, but I enjoy helping others, I really do. It sounds like you have a good plan in place to deal with the elusive head hunger. Alot of people struggle with that, we are not alone! And I love you back! Especially when you said my words spoke to you. All I ever want in life is to make a difference for somebody. maddysgram, I'd love to take youradvice about looking in the mirror and saying "I love you, I am a good person." but my self hatred is such that it backfires on me and I just get mad and upset. Beside's, I very rarely look in the mirror, I can't handle it. I am working on that in therapy as well as Al-Anon and my Higher Power. But don't worry, sometimes I take a peek! I so appreciate your kindness! nothingwasleft, I am SO sorry you had to go through anything bad! It's so unfair and unfortunate. Please accept some love... I like the two choices you expressed to me, and you're right on both. I will take the challenge of your step two, change. But for me, my therapist says I need to accept what my life dealt me (harder than you think) and then change things. But in a WL perspective, I see what you mean. I don't want to die young, or have a heart attack or whatever. Hell no. That's why I jumped back on the bandwagon three months ago, I need to live. But you know, I don't know what I want in life, I have no dreams, no desires. Living is about it for this person. It's warming to see that you have chosen yourself and your precious children to live for. You're a very lucky woman! esch, I'm sorry to hear you were doing so well but then your BED snuck up on you. But you were perfect for a whole year, that's something to be very proud of! I'm glad you chose to deal with it head on, in therapy. So many folks I know could use a little insight/intervention from a therapist. I hope you find what you are looking for. Stay on this forum, the people here are so awesome! Yes, I'd be very interested in you uploading a copy of your "journal." I'd bring it in to my nutritionist and work on it with her. And I think other people would find it helpful too! We so badly need to be accountable for our eating, and the moods, feelings and circumstances around it. I keep a basic food journal that my NUT gets every month, unfortunately, she keeps them and I find myself at a loss of food ideas when it comes to planning my week. I'm always in the search for food ideas and recipes. Well, I know that my nutritionist is going to freak when she see's this months food journal. I'm not proud of it myself. But, it is what it is. Like all of you reminded me (something I find myself reminding others oddly enough), tomorrow is another day. Hopefully with all the support I have in place will draw me back into focus. I definitely feel loads better having heard all of the above stories. I felt the love, which I so desperately needed in a WLS persons point of view. It's impossible for me to love myself, but I can honestly say....something inside me feels love for you all. I have most of my marbles, so if any of you need a little help or a kind word, I am HERE! Maybe then I could go back to being the one giving advice instead of needing it myself. :wub: [God]. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...Courage to change the things I can...and the Wisdom to know the difference. :wub:

Gigi, Maddysgram, elcee and ajtexas.... First, I want to thank you for so kindly responding to my plea's for help. I'm in a bad place and I needed your ears/eyes. No, I am not in control of my life at the moment. I think maybe I am trying to take control of my life, even if it's deciding to sabotage myself and my journey. Sounds weird, I know, but it's easier to control with learned reinforced bad behaviour than with new, difficult behaviours like my dieting, journaling my food journal. It's easier to fail than to fight to succeed. (I'm coming up with this stuff as I write) Hm, something else to think about. Gigi_Girl, I'm so proud of you for quitting smoking completely, I hear cigarettes are one of the hardest addictions to quit! And good luck with your new Band. My therapist is admittedly stuck on this issue of why I "have" to eat bad foods. I mean, she has shed alot of light on the subject, as she has worked with many addicts. She just felt I should get some inpu by those going through the Band journey. Maddysgram, it was very, very hard to take in your kind words of wisdom, but a few things helped me. "Tomorrow hasn't happened yet..." "You're brave to come out..." "...me a complete stranger loves you..." have all been allowed inside, and helped me for that moment. My past has not made me a criminal, a drinker, a drug user, etc. I guess that's a very good thing! Elcee, I did walk away with major issues, but I consider myself a genuine, honest, caring individual in spite of my issues. I see that I have achieved very little in my life but be a survivor. I'm a fighter, which is why this whole thing about fixating on cheating myself and my diet, is baffling. I never give up, not for long anyways. Your positive comments embarras (how do you spell that!) me, but secretly it's nice to hear. ajtekas- I have a history of sabotaging things when they go well, and I was doing very well. Is it because of fear of success? Is it because of fear failure? It it because it's all I know? All of the above. I was proud of myself for adhering to the program and I think it was overwhelming for me. Didn't deserve it. I say the serenity prayer everyday, everyone should. I started Al-Anon four weeks ago, and I honestly feel blessed to have the kinship of those who share my experience with alcoholism and the family. And, yes, we members do beat ourselves up! Tomorrow is a new day. There are many success stories to help me along. I so hope I get more responses to this...every one of you makes a difference to me. My therapist would thank the four of you! And I thank you. (*bows down*)

Thank you all. I'll definitely be talking about this with my WLC.

What is a stretched pouch? How does it happen? How can you find out if you have one?

Thank you Kinley, I, at the instruction of my nutritionist, eat a little bit more than most on LBT. Healthy foods. And someone mentioned that I might have a stretched pouch. I've been unfilled for 4 years, so I'm not too tight. And I don't experience the symptoms you described, so I guess I don't have a stretched pouch. Thanks anyway!

Thanks for all the post's. I am feeling really down today, then for some sadistic reason, I stepped on the scale. I weigh the same as I did 2 weeks ago. I'm not losing. Tomorrow I will look at it better, but right now, I'm pissed. I'm fallinto the traps I always urge others to avoid, I'm ashamed of myself. But then, I take into accout that my meals are a bit bigger than some, I eat all the healthiest foods I can and I have to remember that 1. My NUT and LPN are happy with my journal and 2. that I lost 25 pounds. I guess that's at least a good thing.. I'm not gaining. I'm sorry, I'm beating myself up today. Love you guys... Polly

I see my WLC in a few weeks, so I'll ask them...but for now I am confused. I was banded back in 07, unfilled in 08, gained back all the weight I lost (30-40 lbs) and have recently rededicated myself to band living. I started my surgeon's required South Beach Diet two months ago. I lost 20 lbs in 2 months, 5lbs in the past 2 weeks. Sounds acceptable, right? I have an empty band. I see everybody on here eating a cup at a meal, or 4 oz's of this and that, lots of variations. I see people doing well, I see people having a hard time. I do not weigh my foods, or measure it in Cups, etc. I'm supposed to eat two cups of veggies with two of my three meals as well as a small Protein and a small starch. What I actually do is: 4-8 oz of protein (meat, chicken, fish, etc.) Cup to a Cup and a half of a veggie and sometimes cous cous or something but mostly just protein and veggie. I don't weigh and measure! I journal all of my food and my nutritionist ok's most of what I eat. I cheat once in a while. Get scolded. Start over. I started to exercise two months ago, but stopped totally. I have two new knees and they hurt. How is it all of you only eat certain measures of food, or portions when some do well and some don't. I eat healthy food in slightly larger portions than ya'll eat. I'm losing weight at a good pace, though I will be asking for a small fill because I find myself feeling hungry after a large meal. Well, most of the time I don't want to eat at all. It's weird. Is losing 25 pounds in 2 1/2 months because I am SO fat and the largest people lose quicker at first? Will I be looking at weighing and measuring my food when I get a fill? Or am I just doing something right? I feel like I'm not doing it right in comparison to you guys. Even though the caption below says, "Comparison is the thief of joy."

tmf, I've heard thatyou lose water weight at first. So, I asked my WLC nutrionist if that's what this was, this 25 lb weight loss. But they have a special scale at the clinic that somehow shows if you've lost fat, or muscle mass. She said the loss is all fat loss. I guess I'll have to do what everybody else is doing that have no saline in their band, eat smaller portions. Actually, most of the time I do. I still have restriction simply from the band being in place. I guess I am going to have to get used to losing less weight than I am right now. My nutrionist backs my journalled eating info, completely. I don't ALWAYS eat a larger protein meal, I physically can't. But I noticed that so many people eat tiny portions. The surgeon's staff have stated that they don't want to do a fill, because I wouldn't get the the proper amount of nutrients. And because I am doing so well so far without a fill. I *think* I am still on the regular diet because I am a repeat offender (smile) I've changed my life and relationship with food. So I eat pretty well. Just wondering if I get a fill (a tiny one), will I be eating 1 cup of food at each meal? It's been 4 years till I saw my WLC until 2 months ago, I've forgotten a lot. You guys keep me in line.

I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your Mother, my condolences. Yeah, my Mom always told me I was fat when I was skinny. She was really hung up on me being fat. She passed last year while in Hospice of Breast Cancer. And before she slipped away, I promised her I would make her proud. And I think she's proud that I've come this far...

Oh boy, you guys mentioned most of mine. I especially love the "lady part" one! Being healthy. I would like to buy clothes from L.L.Bean, etc. Any catalog. Look forward to not jiggling. Walking down the aisle of an airplane without my hips hitting people upside the head. Sitting in a booth at a restaurant Making my Doctors happy. Achieving an actual goal. Buying concert tee's from a catalog. Believe it or not, shopping at Goodwill, finding deals on clothes that fit. Standing straight with my feet touching each other w/out falling over. Fitting comfortably through public restroom stall doors. Riding a bicycle. Walking my dog, who at 25 lbs, walks me! Not propping up, lifting and shifting in the shower Having my nippies pointing out not down. Weighing less than someone else for once. Sitting in those folding camping chairs. Not trampling people at shows to get to my row seat. Fitting in that seat w/out my hips invading someone else's space. Weighing less than my husband. Gaining control of my Life. Last, and most important...making my Mom (RIP) proud.

Buffalo, NY is the one of the highest in NY @ 3.99 a gallon. Awful.

radarluv, You have many questions that I think you ought to discuss with your surgeon and/or nutritionist. We're all different. Hopefully that group you're going to will shed some light. Good luck and don't beat yourself up!

carolinagirl, too cute...

Aw man, your story was one tough read. I couldn't begin to tell you how sorry I am that you went through all the hoops for five months, preparing mentally and physically for the surgery, and waking up to such horrid news! As I read your post, I half expected to be reading on about a defeated soul. But NO, you were/are strong and persistent! I can see why the option of a non-laparoscopic sleeve operation would leave a bad taste in your mouth, you just had surgery! If you do decide to go the sleeve route, I wish you the best and I hope you awaken from surgery with a different result than the one you just got. Also, IDK if you know, but there's a sleeve forum link on the bottom of this page, maybe that would be helpful? You have a strong drive to be healthy, and I know you will be soon enough! Just take each day one day at a time. We all have faith in you.... :wub:

I like the comment about mourning warm/hot foods. I am sooo tired of eating cold meals, after everyone else is done. But you wanted to know what foods I mourn...at my stage, I can eat most anything, but I definitely steer away from steak. I miss a good filet mignon with shrooms.

That certainly IS life changing, don't sell yourself short, be proud of yourself! I lost 23 pounds and notice nothing, perhaps I lost it in my toes, LOL.

IDK, when I crave chocolate (every day), I make FF SF chocolate pudding. If you have the stomach for it, and the strength it takes to go no further, you could go to the grocery store and buy one of those bulk mini candy bars to soothe that craving. I found that just one piece did the trick. You're craving Chinese? They have steamed vegetable dishes, or you could get the chicken on a stick (no sauce). Good luck, you'll figure it out. ;)

I made this Protein shake, not drink... 1 scoop vanilla Protein powder 1 Cup of cold decaf coffee 1 T Instant Sanka 1 T Cocoa powder Artificial sweetener to your liking, I used 5 packs of Equal (I like things sweeet) 6-8 ice cubes Blend until smooth. No smell, no after taste, though I did burp up a little vanialla flavor. The shake is just like a coffee shake, yummy!