LouiseC

It is possible to be honest or to maintain integrity without being cruel or heartless. I would rather say nothing than lie, even if it is a lie that others would consider little or white. I know I would rather people be honest with me and if I seek an opinion on whether my butt looks big I need to accept the answers I am given! As for the tragic situation you describe, how truly awful and I am sorry you found yourself in such a situation. This is one of those ones where I would choose to say nothing about how they died given the ages of the kids. The information that they had died is difficult enough and there is no need to tell such a young child details that would serve no purpose to tell them. This is not lying though. Right through out this thread I have always maintained discretion as an option over lying.

Huh? I don't know about purgatory. I am an atheist and deal in the truth not in make believe. I am not perfect nor did I ever claim to be. All I claim to be is honest, and prudent in not trusting others once they demonstrate them selves to be untrustworthy. Whether or not you lie is of no consequence to me at all. You are free to be a liar and I do not for a moment consider you will simmer in any purgatory, burn in any hellfire, or be judges at some world ending moment. You being a liar just means others won't trust you nor will they believe what you say. Your choice and your consequence nothing at all to do with me.

Say whatever you like in order to try and justify your position. It is irrelevant to me and no amount of name calling will turn the person who consciously and actively choses to lie and deceive others into anything other than a liar. Because lying is lying, regardless of reason or motivation. You can go on the attack towards me, and others, all you like but it doesn't change the fact of it. Do I judge people for lying? Yes. Yes I do. When someone lies, when someone is dishonest with me or with others, then yes I do judge them as a liar. This judgement means I will be careful I my dealings with that person and that I will not automatically believe anything they say or trust in their word. I am not at all ashamed of the ability to judge and reason as the best indicator of someone's future behaviour is past behaviour and any one skilled in interpersonal relationships knows this and makes decisions on who they trust and don't trust. People have a choice here, tell the truth, or keep the truth to yourself and say nothing, or lie. Respect the first two. I have no respect at all for those who lie.

I am finding it hard to buy pants because my stomach is at least one size bigger than my ass and legs. Very frustrating but it is what is is.

Wow. People sure do look for offence where there is none. If you do not want to tell people then don't tell people I see no one, let me repeat that, no one, in this thread saying you should tell the world you have WLS. If you want to keep it private then keep it private. Your choice. What I do see and what I do agree with is people asking others not to lie. I see people asking others to either say nothing or be honest. What strikes me as so very, very sad is that this needs to even be said. I am astounded actually at how many people in this thread have recommended lying. What a sad and sorry state of affairs for society when others deem it acceptable to lie without thought for consequence. Dishonesty is repulsive and unattractive and all those who advocate outright dishonesty signal to me to be people I would not care to know. There is nothing wrong with discretion. There is nothing wrong with the truth. Active dishonesty though, conscious lying about your surgery (or anything really) is justlain wrong. And no amount of coming back and trying to justify your lying and dishonesty is going to change that. Say nothing or tell the truth. Simple. Don't lie. You do yourself and others no favours by bullshitting (or attempting to bullshit) others.

I am three weeks away from being one year out and I am still on 40mg of omeprazole daily. I was on 20mg prior to surgery. I still, at times, need to take an over the counter antacid in addition to this. I just get really bad acid reflux. But it is worth it, trust me! Even if I have to live with being on medication forever, it is better than being obese.

I was never an emotional eater and I was not a food addict. That said since the surgery I have way more sex! I recommend it. It burns calories, releases endorphins and is much easier to get freaky when skinnier :-D I still love my food, eat out a lot, and eat a wide variety of things. I just eat smaller volumes. And then go home and have great sex.

Most Thai we go to serve all the dishes to the centre, and we eat family style, sharing plates. So for me Thai has been great since the surgery because I don't order and just have some from my husband and/or whoever else we are dining with. They always bring me a plate, no extra charge, and even still offer rice (though I decline it and they look at me like I am weird lol).

Miso soup is Japanese and if you have not had it you may find it a bit unusual on the first try! Most sushi places sell a cup of miso soup for about $2. It is pretty much just a soy broth with seaweed :-) sounds awful but it is really good. You can buy packets of dried soup or packets of condensed soup at most supermarkets here. Just add hot Water. I would cook up a cup of veges and add to a cup of miso when on my pre OP Optifast diet. It saved me.

Miso soup with added veges got me through.

I remember those days! Words of wisdom that I read on here that served me well in the first few weeks of real food were "Never, Ever trust a fart!"

Fantastic! Doesn't it feel outstanding?

Oh I just realised you were struggling ore hall bladder as well. I go through stages like this where nothing appeals. Sometimes even the sight of other people eating makes me feel ill. Once a waiter misunderstood that I wanted an appetiser for a main course and gave me the full size meal instead. The sight of the meal was just overwhelming and I could barely eat a bite. I have learnt to not let it bother me. Sometimes I just can't eat and I am okay with that. When it happens I try and go back on the boring old Protein drinks as a way of ensuring I am getting something in.

It is normal to feel nauseous after what you have been through. Give it time, you are healing after a very difficult and traumatic experience. Your appetite will come back as you get better.

Tell them the truth if you are not comfortable saying nothing then just tell them the truth. I have only ever had one negative comment, and even that I dealt with later by letting the person know that their comment was neither accurate nor kind and they apologised and retracted having not meant to cause offence. In addition, I have discovered several people in my work and social life who have also had WLS. It has given me a wider support network with people who understand. Many have been amazed at how open I am about having had the surgery, but really why not be open I say? It is not like they did not know I was obese and struggling before. I knew as I lost weight people would positively comment and ask what I had done and I would not, could not, lie. Especially not to others struggling with their weight. I would hate to give the message that these amazing results are through diet and exercise alone. Honesty always works when silence isn't an option.

I am a couple of weeks away from being a year out and I am close to goal. My surgeon advised no alcohol for six weeks after surgery. I was having wine before I was having steak, bread or Pasta :-) What I drink has changed though. White wine - I can no longer tolerate Sauvignon blanc or Pinot Gris, they give me heart burn. I can drink Chardonnay, dry riesling and a little champagne but not too much as it is too gassy. Red wine- I go for Syrah or Pinot noir, the tannins in heavier reds give me heart burn. Beer - cant do it, just like I can't do sodas. The bubbles fill me up way too fast and become unpleasant. I will have a few sips and then I am done. Spirits and liqueurs - so far I have not had a problem with any! As long as I am not mixing with soda all is well. I dont have spirits often as I am more a wine with dinner girl but when I do I will take a grey goose dry martini, dirty. Thank you! Frequency, well I drink at least two nights a week and sometimes more. This is often just a glass or two of wine with dinner but can be more if we are out and about. We eat out a lot and I travel a lot with work so often it is simply a social thing. I add those calories right on in there with whatever else I have and then make sure I work a little harder to burn them off if I over indulge.

All exercise is good but for me the one I think has helped my shape the most has been yoga, specifically Bikram. My posture has improved and this means I hold myself better and I am more aware of my core. My waist looks amazing now and even though my bmi still tells me I am overweight, my height to waist ratio is smack bang in the normal range! Oh, and believe it or not I am almost one inch TALLER since I began this journey which I credit to the spine lengthening and improved posture from yoga!

To me, healthy is beautiful. If you need to lose weight for your health, then your weight is currently causing you poor health. Poor health is not attractive. This isn't about body issues or esteem, this is about health. Healthy is attractive, not because the media tells us so but because of the biological imperative. We are driven towards finding healthy partners, ergo, healthy is what is deemed attractive. When I was considering the surgery my husband only had one question to ask me and it was "do you think this surgery will make you love yourself?" To which I responded, " are you for real? You know I love myself, I am freaking awesome!" Or words to that effect. He laughed and then agreed to support me in the journey. We both knew that if I had esteem issues then the simple fact of losing weight was not going to resolve that. Self love is based on more. Did I think I was attractive? Yes and no. There were bits I liked and bits I didn't. My weight had spiralled out of control and I was not happy with being so very fat. I knew I had to take control of it for my health, and I wanted to take control of it so that when I looked in the mirror I knew I was being all that it was possible for me to be. I am near to goal weight now, have lost over 100 pounds, I look and feel fantastic. I am hotter than ever. But most of all, I am healthier than I have been in a very long time. I have little time for people trying to say that fat is beautiful because it isn't, it is an excuse to not do anything about being fat. I know because I tried lots of excuses on for size until none of them fit anymore and I decided to be honest with myself and those I love. It is like calling a beauty spot beautiful and unique and not getting it removed when really it could turn into a cancerous melanoma. Calling morbidly obese beautiful is just the language of denial. Please note, I am talking fat here, not fat people, just fat. People are beautiful, the fat they carry isn't. I know the distinction but may not have articulated it well.

I just discovered lululemon athletic wear. I got proper hot yoga gear and it is fantastic. Better still, I got into a size 10 in shorts and size 12 in tops.

I have felt this way. I have been trying to talk my husband into upgrading his boat just so I don't feel as though I have profited in some way. It is weird, I know he is so supportive and behind me 100% but I still got moments where I think "wow, did we really spend all that money on me?" I don't regret the surgery, not for a nano second, but I do struggle with it at times.

In my experience there are peop