astranumen

Forgot to add to the list: dry cereal! I can sometimes drink a glass of milk and then nibble on dry Cereal afterward. That usually satisfies my carb craving. Note too that there are a lot of antidepressants out there that tend to increase carb cravings. Preband I was on Zoloft for many years and had a HORRIBLE carb addiction. I"m off the drug and have the band and now barely crave carbs at all. It's nice to be in control of that addiction. I haven't bought a loaf of bread in 16 months.

I can hardly eat breads at all. As a general rule, I can't eat anything soft that I have to chew. It just gets too gummy. On my list: DON'T: soft white breads, untoasted breads, moist baked things (though every once in a while I can eat cake, but no doughnuts and no white bread that gets mushy when you chew it), chewy pastas, soft tortillas, deep dish or hand-tossed pizza crust, etc. DO: carbs that are chewable into little bites like crackers (any kind), croutons, very thin and crispy pizza crust, matzoh (great with jam), hard-shell tacos & tortilla chips, Luna and Balance bars (but only about half and I really have to chew) Folks seem to differ on the soft/hard thing. For me, I can't eat anything soft and chewy. For others, soft and chewy is just fine. But in general, if you get in the habit of eating Protein first, then veggies, then carbs, you'll find that you don't even get to the carbs. I have a hard time because I eat out nearly every day and it's typically a social occasion. Most folks want to get sandwiches or soup/salad with bread. Bread is everywhere. I can't eat bread. It sucks. So usually I'll order the one thing on the menu that doesn't have bread in it, or else I'll get a tuna salad sandwich and eat the tuna with a fork out of the bun. No one comments--they figure it's working, so why ask? I do miss macaroni and cheese, though.

Your post/question was a good one. I don't often see folks talking about the privacy issues associated with surgical weight loss, and for the most part I am grateful for those who have worked so hard to destygmatize it, to make it public, and to erase the shame associated with fatness and weight loss. I imagine that there are several conversations like this one that go on with a great deal of regularity in the depression and gay communities. "Hidden" (or not-so-hidden) sources of shame are difficult, it's true. I have been able to talk about my depression more openly in the past few years than I was 10 years ago, and maybe 10 years from now I'll be better able to talk about my weight loss surgery. Baby steps. In the meantime, I admire those who champion our cause and who have the strength to be public about it. I rely on their work to make things easier for me in the future. When I decided to have the surgery in June, 2004, I pledged that the only ones who would know were my family (my parents, brother and sister, I mean) and my best girlfriend. I am 32, single, and finishing a PhD at a large midwestern university; it's a well-educated community and I spend most of my social free time with good friends, talking and eating. Since we're all grad students, our work time is private and our social time happens in planned ways--we plan to have lunch, coffee, dinner, etc. So even though I had every reason to assume that my friends would be nothing but supportive and encouraging, I was also concerned that every time we'd be together I'd have to know that they were watching me, observing and noticing. I didn't want that kind of pressure. If there were times that I wanted to try and eat a cookie at a party or order cheesecake after dinner, I didn't want anyone to accuse me of undermining my efforts. My choices are my choices, and I make them for a variety of different reasons, and I didn't want to have to explain myself every time I was out having a good time with my friends. Plus, the last thing I wanted to feel with my own friends and family was even more shame than I already feel for being fat my whole life. I have enough guilt about that without their scrutiny added to it. Having said that, over the past year my friends have definitely noticed my weight loss (I'm down 85 pounds). They also notice that I don't eat a lot, and that sometimes I sit up real straight when I do eat (oops! didn't chew that well enough). They make comments about me not eating ("I ate a lot earlier today" usually works) and they make comments about how much weight I've lost. When they ask what my secret is, I tell them it's portion control (which is true). I don't usually deny myself foods, but I eat a whole lot less of them. (Though, like everyone, there are still some foods I can't eat at all--bread and all doughy/baked things in general are missed terribly!) It sucks having to say "I'm not really in the mood for a sandwich/pizza/pasta" when my friends and I talk about where to go for lunch. They notice that I take the bun off the walleye sandwich I just ordered. They notice that I eat the chicken out of the enchilada and leave the tortilla behind. They notice that I don't drink while I eat. They're smart, curious people. But they also know that I'm a lot happier since I lost the weight, and that every time they see me I seem thinner. Presurgery, I dreaded so much attention paid toward my body, but now I've come to love it and crave it, surprisingly. I thought I would hate people commenting all the time on how much weight I've lost. I thought I would hate that permanent gaze (I pictured them whispering about me). Honestly, though, it's NICE when the people who love you are happy for you. It's amazing how much I love having other people be proud of me. I like that they admire me. I like that they wish they could be more like me. I've told a few of my smart close friends whom I trust to keep my secret. But my roommate doesn't know, though he sees those jars of unjury Protein powder in the pantry and knows that I only eat one piece of pizza--if even that--when he orders it. I still have many, many good friends whom I would love to tell but just can't seem to do it. Not surprisingly, they are all men. I dunno--I suppose that's my own hangup that I can't tell men things that I can trust women with. And, perhaps most interesting is that I practice telling people by testing it out on strangers I don't see very often and who don't have much contact with my daily circle of friends: the woman who cuts my hair, a massage therapist I see every 4 months, my dentist, a few friends who have graduated and moved away. It's important that if you do choose to keep it private that you can tell "safe" people who are low-risk (i.e., those who don't see you every day). But overall, I'm happy I did a little of both. It's worked out well. Thanks for bringing this up. I enjoyed writing down my thoughts and thinking it through. I'm the kind of person who errs on the side of privacy, but I understand if you think having the social support will help you. I admit there are times I regret not telling, but most of the time I'm glad it's my secret to tell when I'm ready to tell it, to whom I'm ready to tell it to. Sincerely, AstraNumen (a pseudonym) Dr. Santiago Horgan (Chicago) Banded June, 2004 300/215/190