Shelleymb

well, last few weeks have been rough i had a death in the family and without knowing it i slipped back into old habits, i ate what i wanted i dident care and i dident excersize, when i stepped on the scale, i physically felt sick, how could i let my emotions take me over and ruin all the great progress ive had. Apparently thats something i need to work on i was only 9 pounds away from wonderland almost 4 weeks ago, i gained almost 5 pounds, now that i have worked those off, and am back on track 7 more pounds to go then onderland is mine.
i started at 320 pounds
down to 207
my bmi was over 54
down to 33
i was wearing a size 24
now size 14
i would never go out in public without a sweater, something had to cover my arms,
last week wore a tshirt out for the first time
As hard as it is to stay positive sometimes, i know it is all worth it in the end, i just dont want last months failure to repeat itsself.

School is out.... summer time is just wonderful. love the kiddos but I so needed a break. I decided to do a little cleaning. As I sorted through some of my clothes, I noticed that most of them were too big. So what's a girl to do? What else is there but to shop!!! I went into the store to try on a few things and WOW... A size 14 regular pant suit... It fit perfectly even the jacket... Although I have only lost 25 pounds the inches are really melthing away... I am thanking and praising God for the little things!!!

Today started out
Oh Tuesdays
Last night even after trying on jeans
 
Bleck! I can’t even start a post! When I was in college in 2004, I took a creative writing class and the instructor would give us 10 minutes to close your eyes and type (for those who can do that, which is probably 80% of the population in this day and age) but she would tell you not to delete anything, just type. After the 10 minutes, go back and copy and paste the parts of whatever you just wrote into a story. I guess I never fell out of that habit, for I LOVE to write. I hope to have a few books published before I die.
 
Last night, before I went to attempt jean shopping, I went to Lane Bryant to try on a swim suit that I ordered off line just to make sure that it was going to fit and actually make me look decent enough to wear it in public. I tried it on and fell in love with it and now I’m so excited to get it in the mail. I went home and told Ty that I was so happy, that I found a suit that looks good on me and that we would have so much fun in San Diego. I felt good about myself, which is something I haven’t felt in a while.
 
Well, then it came to be bed time, I started a load of laundry because right now I only have 1 pair of jeans that I wear to work that fit me. I forgot to get up early and put them in the dryer with enough time for them to be dry for work…. Well now I don’t have any pants! So I tear apart my room looking for the only other pair that actually fit me and they have been eaten by a monster or something. Just my luck. I find a pair that I know are too small, but are the only ones that I’m going to be able to button.
 
THEY ARE TIGHT. I have to use a hair tie to make an expansion so that I can make it through the day… I debate calling in, then I remember that I need to save leave to go to San Diego to visit Ty… I walk out of the bathroom and continue on with gathering my things for work, and Ty says, “See you found them!” I had to shut him down quickly and inform him that these jeans are too small. He asks for a hug and I tell him I don’t want to give him a hug because I feel terrible. So he hugs me and tells me that I look fine, and I had to tell him about the hair tie. THEN HE LAUGHED!! Boys are dumb. I almost burst into tears. I had to tell him it isn’t funny, and then the apologized, which I believe, but still.
 
So now I’m at work… I started the morning off feeling sorry for myself. Then it was iPod time…Music is my everything. I grew up with music in my house all the time. After listening to a few songs, I was in a bit of a better mood and I realized I put myself in this mess; I’m on the right path to taking myself out.
 
This is my time.

And it was only a seminar! After a slightly stressful drive over there, because GoogleMaps is the worst, thank god for my iPhone.... Ty and I arrived about 10 mintues late. I had this image in my head of them turning us away because we were late and I was so scared that I would have to wait a month to go to the next one, but they let us right in, lol.
 
It was amazing to see and hear all the facts about obesity in America, I was shocked by some of it. The doctor running the seminar kept calling it a disease, that obesity is the fastest spreading emidemic in America and that we should consider it a disease. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I know that due to genetics, some people are more proned to being overweight then others, but I really feel like it's more of a culture issue. Our portion sizes in America are out of this world. When I first arrived to Japan in January I honestly thought I was going to have to order two of everything when we went out to eat beacuse the portions were so small there, but after about 2 weeks I found that I could "survive" off the portions that they served just fine, that it was indeed, enough food.
 
We learned about the 4 different types of surgeries that they offer, and all the pros and cons. Then they had three lovely ladies come up who had had the surgery and give their story. That was actually pretty cool, until the audience started focusing more on succes stories, then having important questions answered. That was the frustrating part. I thought that people there would be more prepared like I was, with a list of important questions and ready to just open fire while the surgen was there. And when did raising your hand to ask a question go out of style? My arm got so tired while being raised and having to wait because people were just blurting out questions that I had to rest it on Ty for support. (I don't wan to sound like a b*tch and say that no one should have been asking questions but me, lol, it was just a lot of questions were about clothes and such, and before and after pictures. I just wanted to tell everyone about this site and say "go there! They have awesome b & a pics! but please, I need to know some things first!" but I didn't )
 
So, as we were walking out, I was eager to set up the next appointments for Ty and me and when I spoke to the lady in charge of that, she asked why we hadn't filled out the insurance sheet (where she calls and checks with our insurance for free) and I told her that I had called about 2 weeks ago and that our insurance didn't cover the band because our employer has decided to exclude it from our coverage. ( I was proud that I could tell her verbatim what was told to me 2 weeks ago) (and I also thought this was something she must hear everyday) She asked if they covered any other WLS and I said yes, gastro bypass and she said she wanted our information, because it's almost illegal for them to cover one but not the other, because the band is FDA approved. So that is what I am doing today, filling out the insurance forms for Ty and myself to fax in. If we can save 30,000 by not self-paying, I'm sure I can find it in my heart to wait a bit longer to have the surgery, plus 30,000 can buy me the new boobs that I've always wanted, or at least some jeans that fit right after I lose weight. lol
 
Sorry this was so long, I was just so excited about last night, I would have posted last night if the drive home wasn't 2 hours long, but luckily for all you folks, it's time for me to get ready for work and finish my last day of training. Hopefully I passed the test yesterday so that I'm not going to training today for nothing.
 
Happy Friday!
 
~Shelley